midgeandme

[midgeandme]

I graduate in three weeks and have no plans to buy a horse for atleast 2/3 years, and I’m completely fine with it. 18 year old me would be dying. Also like idk what I was talking about with the inner motivation I was just making it through.

My only motivation for earning a degree over the next four years is buying my horse back, and I think that’s okay.

[midgeandme]

𝙵𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟷, 𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟸 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹

[midgeandme]

TWILIGHT (2008) THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY | “Öga for Öga” (2020)

[midgeandme]

x

[midgeandme]

[midgeandme]

i don’t know much about filmmaking but i do know this

directors who focus on hands: knows about the tender language of touch, can show you painful emotional distance between two people, can rightfully articulate the true soul-crushing enormity of yearning

directors who focus on bare feet: need to be hunted for sport and shot on sight

[midgeandme]

[midgeandme]

[midgeandme]

At this point, how this year is going...

[midgeandme]

[midgeandme]

I’m not trying to be edgy or controversial but I feel like this needs to be said for the younger and more naive people out there.

There is no inherent skill or knowledge difference between a professional and an amateur.

A professional is simply someone who makes money off of being an equestrian.

I was a technically professional when I was teaching lessons and riding client horse’s a few years ago.

Now I am a hobbit who refuses to deal with other horse people and no longer a professional, but believe it or not I’m a better rider and know more things.

If someone’s point of authority is that they’re a pro, ask for a more thorough list of qualifications because in my experience it is very easy to make money off horses by being shady and very hard to make money off horses through honesty and skill.

[midgeandme]

[midgeandme]

ive never proofread a single thing ive written in my life as soon the words are outside my brain i no longer recognize them as mine and i want nothing more to do with them

[midgeandme]

Everything kind of went to shit with Corona but my boyfriend told me he loves me last night so like part of me is okay.

[midgeandme]

I read a quote today that can be boiled down to "grief is love with no where to go" and it hit me hard. Watching someone else go through what I went through a year ago is bringing everything up. Like it was already going to come it's almost exactly two weeks away, but damn that just brought it all on. Life is so fucking unfair. I want to scream at something. For some reason I feel like if I just feel my feelings enough things will change? But they're not and there's always going to be this giant gaping hole in my heart where Midge was. It still doesn't feel real ya know? I feel like she's still just there somehow and that I'll get to hug her again. I look at that picture from OKC of me hugging her face and it feels like I could do it again tomorrow. I'm jealous of myself when two months seemed like forever bc now it really is forever.

[midgeandme]

Hi Lil life update. Just started second semester of sophomore year. I'm loving the major I chose, I'm loving the equestrian team, I have a great boyfriend, idk things are just going pretty well. Our last normal show is next weekend and then my ihsa season is over for the year and I probably won't show again until summer mayyybe. It's been almost a year since Midge passed and I think I'm doing pretty well, her birthday is on Monday which sucks but I'm doing okay. Things are good.

[midgeandme]

He's pretty cool I guess❤️