mika-darling

[mika-darling]

how crazy do you think the AO3 authours notes are in gotham?

"Joker killed my grandma with a reindeer whilst playing 'grandma got run over by a reindeer' and i don't think i can continue to write this JokerBat fic anymore guys sorry :/ it just feels disrespectful."

“Look, I get if Batman/Clark Kent isn’t your cup of tea, but the guy writes more about Batman than anyone else outside of Gotham. There’s got to be a reason, is all I’m saying.”

“And here I am, jumping on the Batman/Bruce Wayne train like the rest of our beloved hellhole. Anyway, if you’re not from Gotham you can keep your criticisms to yourself or I will not be held responsible for the bloodshed that will occur should you insult our beloved sunshine child and his goth sugar baby. You don’t know them like we do.”

“Hey, sorry I haven’t updated in awhile. I died and then got caught up in this whole my-father-didn’t-avenge-me angst thing. Which was completely justified in my opinion. Anyway…”

“Let’s be honest, this entire series is dedicated to the fact that Red Hood could crush any of us with his thighs and we’d say thank you.”

“I just read a fic shipping Nightwing/Superman and I mean, come on. The author is clearly not from Gotham but I can never unsee that and I think I should be entitled to financial compensation.”

“Sorry it’s been awhile, I just got a new job! With the Best Boss™️ (if you know, you know). Also, my boss said he’d give a hundred bucks if I wrote a Batman bashing fic? Thoughts? Ngl I don’t think it’d even be that hard.”

“‘WHy aRE yoU WriTIng ABouT FakE SupERheROes WHen THe rEAl oNEs aRE riGHt tHEre?’ Uh, because it’s Gotham and they’re all a disaster? And also because I don’t want to be haunted by the venegeful spirits of robins past idk. Thinking of doing a crossover though. Batman in the Avengers? Thoughts?”

“I just want my husband Nightwing to be happy, is that too much to ask?”

“I came across Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy on my way home from school today and will now be hyperfixating on that ship, thanks.”

“Leave me and my 235k word fic of Prince!Bruce/Knight!Batman alone you Metropolis and Superman-loving traitors. This is not for you.”

[mika-darling]

actually can we have Tim not being adopted into the batfamily and instead after his parents go broke and then die leaving him with nothing he just decides ‘well i know where the batcave is’ and starts living in the tunnels underneath Wayne manor because of the logic that he can’t get kicked out bcs 1. squatters rights and 2. whats Bruce gonna do? call the police and say ‘this guy won’t leave my secret lair. no im not Batman wdym’? and he manages to go unnoticed for like. a good fucking while. not even Alfred realises bcs wtf would he be snooping around down there for?

even better is this happens after Jason dies so Tim still becomes Robin and Bruce is so overwhelmed with grief that he literally never realises that Tim has never once used the front door to come over. he just kinda sneaks up from somewhere in the cave. he assumes that Alfred’s letting the kid in without telling him. Alfred assumes Bruce is doing the same.

Damian finds out first because that’s so much funnier. he gets to Gotham to 1. gain his birthright and meet his father and 2. do some reconnaissance/avenging of this replacement Robin that’s been the centre of Jason’s angry rants at the league for the past 6 months. he follows Tim ‘home’ and finds him fucking. golluming it up a 15 minute hike through the cave system and he’s like. wait what.

Damian, reporting back to Jason: Drake is a mole.

Jason, vindicated: like he’s working for the enemy?!

Damian, standing in front of an indignant Tim in the middle of his ‘camp’, phone pressed to his ear: no like he lives in a fucking tunnel.

Jason:

Tim, mumbling: slightly harsh,

Damian, angling his face away from the phone momentarily: i watched you dig a hole to unearth the protein bars you’d buried there.

Tim:

Jason, rapidly changing his opinion on this kid: ok actually lets not kill him because thats fucking hysterical and i want to know more-

Tim really likes living alone in the tunnels because he’s a weird little guy and he’s gotten used to the independence and lack of sun, and Damian grew up in the league where ‘wilderness training’ was monthly, mandatory, and from the age of three. so he really doesn’t see the issue in it. he just kinda shrugs and accepts his brother lives in the cave system. Jason is so delighted and amused by the vibes these two kids have going on over in Gotham (he gets video calls from Damian just. in Tim’s camp while they hang out together sometimes. Damian brings him water bottles and various sustenance offerings like he’s appealing so some ancient deity living under their house. Jason thinks it’s incredible) that he decides fuck the league, he needs to see this in person. killing the Joker is a side quest he did on the way; he really only came to see what his idiot little brothers had going on under Bruce, Dick and Alfreds nose. he visits Tim’s little cave home while waiting for his new Crime Alley apartment to be ready.

eventually Bruce and Dick are working on a case and they’re following a lead to do with a criminal escaping via cave systems that they theorise may connect to the batcave, so after Damian’s gone to bed they suit up and start searching around. they come across Damian, Tim, and the fucking Red Hood chilling around a small fire just casually eating leftovers Damian snuck down from the kitchen, just quietly enjoying each others presence in this clearly years old campsite, quietly discussing whether or not the weather will be clear enough next week to go to the new art museum together. Dick shines a flashlight at them and they all snap to attention like that scene in ratatouille where the human comes in the kitchen and the rats all freeze and look up. nobody says anything for a solid three minutes.

eventually Tim is just like “I have squatters rights. you can’t evict me.” and Red Hood nods and points at him.

Bruce, desperate to gain some kind of thread of understanding here: “Damian, you’re supposed to be in bed. …Tim, I’m actually not sure where you’re supposed to be, come to think of it, but I don’t think it’s here.”

“He just said he has squatters rights, father.” Damian responds instantly. “Keep up.”

Dick: “And does the Red Hood have squatters rights?”

“I have a gun,” Jason points out cheerfully. “Same thing, ain’t it?”

Dick and Bruce are so confused they become convinced that they’ve been dosed with something and only figure out whats going on after putting on gas masks and testing everybody’s blood.

[mika-darling]

Signs from the universe you mean the silver necklace I lost today, that I originally bought my senior year of college found years ago after I ended a decade long toxic friendship??? What could this meaaaaaaan

[mika-darling]

ma'am, I'm going to place you on a brief hold while I look for a reaction image

[mika-darling]

white house boyfriends breaking up during pride month 💔

[mika-darling]

fellas is it gay to memorise your best friends heartbeat so that you always know how he's feeling and where to find him?

[mika-darling]

Superman desperately scanning the street during a fight to find the most morally acceptable car to throw at his opponent, knowing that not everybody has insurance, and loss of transportation can ruin a life -

A wave of incredible relief washes over him as he spots the hard geometric lines and silver paintless sheen of a Cybertruck.

[mika-darling]

[mika-darling]

I like to imagine still mostly selective mute Dick suddenly turning into a motor mouth the moment he puts on the Robin costume for the first time

Yes.

[mika-darling]

they should invent activities for sleepy people with no energy

[mika-darling]

[mika-darling]

I can tell the new Superman will have me in a chokehold JUST based on how he lowered his voice from Clark to Superman when he says "Miss Lane"

[mika-darling]

Time Travel Batfamily fic idea, but instead of your typical "the world is worse" or "something is still missing" tropes, a world where Bruce's parents don't die and he doesn't become Batman is an objectively happier, better world -- at least, for Bruce it is.

Bruce Wayne is a charming, intelligent young 20-something who went to Yale or Harvard or somewhere equally impressive. He works for his father at Wayne Enterprises and has taken over as the "face" of their charity work. His parents are alive and well. Alfred is the head of a happy, busy household.

Bruce Wayne himself isn't missing a mission. He is fulfilled by the work he does at WE and for the Wayne Foundation. He has a deep sense of justice and fairness, and he uses it day to day. He isn't "missing" anything, in that sense.

But Gotham is missing Batman. The philanthropy isn't enough, because it never was. But Bruce Wayne might not realize that, or maybe he doesn't realize his ability to alter that balance. He hasn't seen that violence and pain close-up. He hasn't been driven to the edge of grief, hasn't boiled in his own pain to the point of desperation. He has his family. He has Alfred. He has meaning.

Gotham still suffers. And the Batkids have to grapple with the realization that for their city to be saved, it needs Batman. And you don't get Batman without crippling this Bruce Wayne's life and happiness. Gotham improves when Bruce Wayne's life falls apart. And you have to be the one to do that to your father, to right the timelines. You have to reach out for this happy, lighter version of your father and tell him to sacrifice more. To lose even more, and still it's not enough.

This is the man they always wanted as a father. He isn't laden by grief or anger. He is so light, so beautiful, so beloved by this city. And yet, it isn't enough.

[mika-darling]

Happy mothers day to anyone who had to heal a cartilage piercing for 9+ months <3

[mika-darling]

If you thought that reducing the budget for libraries nationally wasn't going to affect your school libraries, my district just told us that databases available (for free!) to our students were going to be drastically reduced this next school year

[mika-darling]

[mika-darling]

my hottest take