mikaikaika

[mikaikaika]

day 1 pillion without mika... I fear we shall soon perish

I'm sorry I'm on break and been just locked in on reading a lot I'll be back soon I prommy my beloved <3333

[mikaikaika]

pili dtowncat forcefem clownpierce

i.

[mikaikaika]

lukeypup jumpscare

[mikaikaika]

how it feels rn

[mikaikaika]

I have so much love in me that I would like to cry.  

Simone de Beauvoir, Kayleb Rae Candrilli, Sylvia Plath, Clarice Lispector

[mikaikaika]

Still so funny to me how Pangi told Lukey to get his subbathon out of the way during the time when Pangi is busy away on holiday inter-railing

[mikaikaika]

anyway i think today was a perfect exemple of what i think is going to happen in the realm season 2 where pangi says no gay shit and then gets bored so he seeks out lukey and then they spend almost all their time together, working together and making others their third wheel and on the rare occasions they don’t one of them is actually there eavesdropping anyway

[mikaikaika]

The problem is I always want to dm my mutuals some shit like "I consider you an ally to my cause"

[mikaikaika]

tfw the curse is lifted

[mikaikaika]

might as well share this here too LMAO (og under the cut)

[mikaikaika]

Dumb gay bug gets gay panic

[mikaikaika]

Pangi is back on ls so I am thinking about tr!Pangi and how specific he is about his relationships and how it ties back to the lifesteal dialect and his option of himself as an outsider in Realmers world.

Starting with the word teammate which I have a small obsession with in lifesteal context. Because it has such a specific definition on the server, teammate is someone whom you trust no matter what, teammate is someone who you rely on, you have to work and contribute to be a good teammate. There is nothing casual about being in a team together on lifesteal, your team is your people, the ones who will stand with you, being in a team is a big commitment!! By calling someone a teammate you imply trust in someone, which is one of the scariest things you can do on Lifesteal. Trusting someone is always a risk, one that can cost you SO much, not only your life but months and months of work and planning, maybe even your entire season, who knows. Trusting a teammate comes with so many risks and that's exactly why every time tr!Pangi calls someone a teammate instead of a friend it is so much more impactful. Teammate carries a level of trust and personal connection that a simple friend would not have carried.

The thing is that because it is a Lifesteal special, it is that much harder to grasp for other characters just how much that gesture means when it comes from him. When he calls tr!Bad his first teammate as a wiever you understand the heartbreak that brings. Same when he calls tr!Mocha a teammate. It is a sign of trust that he put in them, a sign of how dear they both were and are to him. He waited so long before calling tr!Lukey a teammate for that very reason.

But from the standpoint of other Realmers, who do not have the context of the story of that word, teammate may sound cold. It just implies being on the same team, which is a much more casual thing on the Realm. To others it may sound like tr!Pangi didn't really care about those people, because to most people a teammate is a much more casual relationship than a friend, it implies that there is a level of just connection through being in the same group and very little personal connection. Which is a complete opposite of what he would read it as.

Because on lifesteal being friends doesn't guarantee you anything. Sure you have a positive relationship at the moment you say it, maybe even you are allied, but that still doesn't guarantee you anything. Allies can betray you at any moment, you have to keep them at arms length, you wouldn't tell your allies where your bed is, but your teammate probably would know. You won't tell your friends your location or where your base is, but you will tell your teammate your exact coords five times over. Friend is a person that you are like 80% sure won't kill you on sight and won't tell your enemies your location if you meet up with them. Friend is someone with whom you maybe will talk about some emotions, maybe frustrations, but whom you still will keep distanced from any plans you may have.

That too is very clear with tr!Pangi! He will call people like tr!Ros or tr!Aimsey hos friends and he will keep them out of the loop. He will lie to them, hide plans from them, be not sure about where they stand after one argument. Because they were just friends, and who knows maybe after a disagreement they will just jump him. Maybe their relationship isn't so positive now.

Now to be very clear he also calls people, whom he has called teammates, his friends and I do think that it is to mask his lifstealisms a bit and I am focusing more on the fact that at some point he called them teammates.

With that we can move to my last point which is the fact that very clearly tr!Pangi carries over his relationship descriptions straight from the lifesteal dictionary. With the way he treats people and categorises them verbally it is easy to piece together his hierarchy of people important to him IF you know the lifesteal definitions. However because they are lifesteal definitions only other Realmstealers fully understand it. Realmers themselves do not fully get it and it serves as another way in which tr!Pangi can feel alienated from them. Relationship descriptors people use do not match up with the definitions he knows and vice versa, the way he orders the hierarchy of them is not natural to the Realmers as it is to him. Which creates a constant misunderstanding between him and others because fundamentally each side images a different relationship based on the word used, due to past experiences. He has always lifesteal terms in mind, tr!Hannah gets it, so does tr!Zam, but tr!Lukey has no way of getting it unless someone sits him down and explain ls linguistics to him.

[mikaikaika]

one day I will draw more BUT here is a pretty pangolin

[mikaikaika]

thought this clip was really good. "i didn't do any of that shit (be gay) till i met you!" wow.. and they say love is dead 🥹

L: Wait, no- This is- This is an opportunity.. for a new start. I'm-

P: Well introduce yourself

L: I'm uh- Lukey, professional minecraft player, i've been playing for a little while. I've been coaching Pangi for the past six months- that's how we met, actually, um-

P: Ohh, so now we're just lying on your CV huh

L: (laughs) Um- You know, they asked me to join Lifesteal, I said no because, like, that wouldn't be fair on the others, um..

P: Chat, okay, and now let me introduce him real quick? This is Lukey, he's uhh- he's a nepo baby on The Realm, uhh-

L: (laughing)

P: Uhhh, let's see, uh- He sucks at minecraft, that's why we call him a hamster, so make sure you guys keep doing that as well. Uhmm, then- uhhmmm.. He likes to queerbait a lot, but you know what, so d-

L: Aw, rich.

P: (laughs)

L: Dude- Fuck you, okay! I didn't do any of that shit till I met you.

P: (Pfft)

L: I'm just saying- I didn't even know what Yaoi fucking meant Pangi, alright?

P: I ruined you bro.

[mikaikaika]

pangi's new emote is so cute i want to throw up

[mikaikaika]

They’re so stupid… I need to squish them

[mikaikaika]

Badboyhalo is the little devil on LS!Pangi's shoulder dude. As he should be, his minecraft dad <3