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[mikogami]

Miracles Unfold

I cannot explain what I am feeling now, but for the sake of defining, I think I am in a state of awe: an emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime (merriam-webster). Of a series of events that started days before.

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Ended and started the year with work in mind and body at work. Until I contracted the famous but near to be just in history corona. Days before, I was told that it is corona, even without test. But I kept my silence for I only have just 2 days paid vacation leave, and for all I know this will be a 7 to 10 days home quarantine. I continue working, letting pass what was told of me. Until a time, a concern staff told me, to better have a test. Finish the work for this day, and for the next day, before anything else, report. And that just happened. And that is the day I was confirmed I have the disease. I just learned, that part of me, the person that do not want to voice it out. Therefore, someone should. On this case, my body and my colleague.

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In silence God speaks to me saying that He loves me, and will protect me. But, instead of being secured, I felt the doubt. A feeling that is over and over again telling me lies. Started hearing foreign words that says I am studying God's Word for years now, but look, what I have now. Given a word or phrase that is so generic, so general, that even non-believers already heard. Questioning me, if is it God that O heard? Or it is just I wanted to hear? Then, while still holding His Word, may hands wanted to withhold. But, praise God for He confirms what He said. Before I think to drift away, God used somebody to tell me 'Yes child, I love you'. (Jeremiah 31:3) Our walk will be hard if we are alone. And maybe passing every signs that lead us to where we just started or worst put us farther from our destination. Seek God, and walk with people who are also going to your same destination.

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Being said, as a church we have this prayer and fasting every January (start of the year) and July (mid-year). My word for this year is Positive. Funny it may sound but yes, including tested Positive for covid. I thank God that within those days, there no feverish feeling, difficulty of breathing, excessive cough and not even colds. Therefore, it may looks just like a staycationing, offered with food, enough sleep and rest. Because of holding of this word, it also tells me that the next time I will be tested it will again say Positive. And it happened. Giving me 3 more days to continue resting and seeking God. Coincidence it may seem, but I believe it is God's work, that the last day of our prayer and fasting is also the last day of my quarantine. It is not about the sign +/-, it is how God use it and how we receive it.

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While thinking about the hassle and trouble I brought, it is hard to step again. Therefore taking things slow, I go to work, do my usual routine and end my shift. Before going home, I went to see if my schedule was changed like what may head nurse said. But it is not. I also searched for documents that will say that my shift is change, but nothing as of account. Hence, I asked my head nurse to verify. And in the middle of our meeting she called, saying sorry for not updating me, and we will stick with the old schedule. I am glad that I consulted and not decide for myself. I learned that it shows respect to the speaker. And in response, I received an apology without asking or thinking about it.

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Go taught me to give, share, partake, be a blessing. Because of limited stock, I cook food according to what is available. And the difficult part is He told me to cook macaroni pasta. In scarcity of ingredients I just put what I have at hand and because I still have a generous amount of pepper, I poured a lot. I received feedbacks, good feedbacks. They forget what is lacking, because as a whole it is delicious, and one says I poured love into it. Give all that you have, because there is always Our Father who will appreciate that.

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Sunday as a Christian is going to church day. But, I will say that not every Sunday I go to church. There are times, I got sick (like the Sunday before this), I have a responsibility to fulfill (to go to work, help others, etc.), and times where I just want to be at home or be with others. But this Sunday, I am predestined to go to church. My schedule was back to my regular schedule and our service was made twice this day. They were all fixed. When science wants to define coincidence relative to probability, I believe that coincidence is beyond that. It is how God arrange things, the way He plans events that will occur. That seems to be a once in a blue moon thing for us.

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My not so ordinary duty. I got some time to be with my ate before she end her shift, helping us to accomplish some task. Other staff also do things that we should be doing. We are receiving help without asking. Then, we have some time to take breathe and sip hot tea before continuing. Our rounds continue. We finished things before the usual time, check things if no backlogs, and ate our dinner. We are also given enough time to rest, which is more than the usual. Slept. When routines are break, things that I am used to, most of the time get annoyed. But this time is different. Amazed how God can turn things other way around.

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Inserting IV catheter nor blood extraction is not my forte, but this time another miracle happened. A patient, who cries a lot, was scheduled for blood extraction. I cannot quit without even trying, so I went to the patient praying to find a vein, and there it is. I ask the patient to hold still (even I do not know if she understands or comprehend what I say), and then blood was drawn. I thank her for her cooperation, and then she murmur. I asked her again, and she says arigatou (Japanese term for thank you). Then I told her, I will get back, and she replied hai (yes). I do not know how to tell my coworker what just happened. But when I got home, I chatted my friends/coworker, telling them how amazed I am. If I just quitted easily, I may have not witness that miracle.

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I have an obligation to pay, and the soon I remember it I just have to act immediately, for I am such a forgetful woman. Not having the intention to escape, but i might forget it especially in the busy time. After paying, she told me to accomplish some forms, form for my absences and other things that I haven't done. Also form that will pay me even in my absences. And non of my remaining paid leave will be use. I am somehow in doubt if they are going to assist me, but still God provides people that will help me, and provide for what I need.

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Miracles are not that usual unlike before. Where Moses split the sea, and water turns to blood, mannas, cloud by day, fire by night; Apostles healing the blind, the leper, the lame. BTW what is miracle? It is defined as a phenomenon that breaks the natural law. Something that cannot be explained. Miracles are signs pointing us to a destination, to where God is. So why do we see miracles less often? Does God hides or do not want to be seen? Or on the other side, are we asking for miracles this big?

[mikogami]

Desert to Forest. I've come across the Scripture in Isaiah 32:16 that says, "Justice will dwell in the desert and righteousness live in the fertile field." How bless am I for the Spirit lives in me (1 Corinthians 3:16). The Spirit that is poured to us from high turning desert to fertile field or more a forest. Lord I pray, that it should not slip my mind, that it is all because of You. And help me to not come back from being complacent, and learn to rise up while listening to Your Word as long as I live.

[mikogami]

Gyoza Experience. Growing up as a child, weekdays is for school while on weekends we are allowed to play video games, watch tv and play outside. Anime which are dubbed to my native language. One particular anime is the Virtua Fighter, I do not know why it is the most retained memory. I actually named my our dogs Pai and Mao, after the characters names. One particular scene I remember was Mao, the main character complaining that he always eats free gyoza, up to the point that he smells like one (gyoza is made up of garlic). Little did I know that I will also experience that. A coworker who is a good mom-cook let me taste her handmade (from scratch) gyoza, it really taste good. Then she always bring some for me, not just 3-5 pieces, but 10-20 pieces. Then my palate get used to it, and telling me that is there no other food to eat? There I remember what exiles did when they were everyday supplied with manna and quails from heaven (Exodus 16). Why God only supplies the same thing or the same food? Isn't He thinking that people may be sicken by it? Then He revealed, that not just with food, or material things. God can supply you what you need, endlessly, but it will not truly satisfy, unless God is in the picture. Let us humble ourselves to God, because He is the only one who satisfies us.

[mikogami]

It Should Be Both. In Japaneses sentences, I learned that it is important to read and pay more attention to the end of the sentence because it is the most important part. Just like conclusion in journals or other material readings it tells about the end of the event, process, etc. reached by reasoning. It tells us what will happen lessening our fear of the unknown. After knowing the result go back to the whole story, in this case, the whole sentence. Are we both willing and obedient? Or we are just willing neither/nor obedient?

[mikogami]

Can I Take the First Move. This might not be absolute, but as for me, this is what I prefer. To not arouse love, not just the person I want or prefer but love per se. Do not be pressured.

Night might tell you, to spend it with someone. Long ride saying it would be worthwhile talking to someone you love. Rainy/Cold season whispering warmth from someones arm.

Love is like a fruit that I can wait for.

[mikogami]

You Only Live Once. At first this connotes, do what you I without any apprehension. Enticing it is, but this does not remove the fact that at the end there is judgment. So I pray, that for everything I do, may the Holy Spirit always lead me, or if days or times I fail to, convict me for what I have, for me learn from it and be on my knees to get back and repent for my sins.

[mikogami]

Your Attention Please. For someone who is a rule breaker (pertaining to self) how can my attention be caught? A study of ISMP says that to be effective, warnings must: 1) reach their target audience; 2) capture the attention of recipients at the right time; 3) cause recipients to understand the risk, believe that the warning relates to them, and understand the actions they need to take; and 4) lead the recipients to respond appropriately. I remember that this is true when I first knew who God truly is. And this was not revealed to me by man, but by my Father in heaven (Matthew 16:17). So I pray for God to always lead me for me to respond appropriately.

[mikogami]

What Makes Me Busy. In an OFW setup, where work is at main stay. People usually ask what do I do during my rest days if I do not watch movies, do not go out, and still get up early in the morning.

Even now, I still cannot even explain everything. But for the things that I do, I knew that people may forget me, but I pray that they will cherish the experience shared (Ecclesiastes 9:16).

[mikogami]

Wisdom is Power. I grew up hearing that knowledge is power, encouraging individuals to study more, students to be good at school. Until this verse taught me that wisdom more than knowledge gives power. Rulers mostly elected or throned to their position because of their knowledge to the work. How come one wise man is greater than ten rulers, one with wisdom greater than 10 great minds (1>10)? Wisdom is not merely knowledge but it includes man's reaction or action taken from the known facts. I pray that this fact too, will not come to me as a blunt knowledge but a powerful wisdom for me to act according to God's plan.

[mikogami]

Seek and Find. Man is in search for his life and his end. But we cannot foresee our own future. Like the teacher who found the truth after hovering throughout his life. Man tries to do or think things for him to be saved. But the truth is, God is the only answer. He is the only one who can help us to be with the Father.

[mikogami]

When the Question Why Usually Heard. (Situation 1) In times of challenge, struggle and/or problematic situation. The "why me, Lord?". For the pain is real and people cannot help but ask. During these times, I usually hear people giving advices and the "Hindi naman Niya ibibigay kung hindi mo kaya" line always pop out. Leading mo to the (Situation 2). For someone who lived life as smooth as it is, hearing that keeps me questioning and doubting myself. Am I that weak that I cannot have those challenges? Why can't God give me problems to handle? In contrast to this is (Situation 3). Also me who asked God why people have these and that, things that I do not have, things that I will not have. Worst is seeing people whom I knew that wealth comes from illegal works. (Situation 4) The less frequent why would be from people who has the strength, power, relationship. I may say less, because some may think that the gain comes from their hard works and/clean living. I've been to most if not all of these situations. Realizing that part of our lives are the "WHYs". The questioning and or finding answer will be meaningless if God is not in the picture. These are some of the "WHYs" God gave us to seek Him, and to know that He is the only answer to our "WHYs".

[mikogami]

The Weight of a Vow. Vows are mostly heard in marriage or on the day of their wedding. What God thinks about vows? The verses that follows, shows that God does not take it lightly. I, myself is guilty of the commonly overlooked sin, sin of broken vows -- promising to God and failing to live up to the vow. It is wise to honor God by keeping one's word to Him and to others (Matthew 25:40). So, I pray, for me not to quickly make vows to God, to be serious about fulfilling vows made, and will regard broken vows as sins to be confessed and to be repented.

[mikogami]

Fellowship. This reminds me that God design life not to be lived alone and the reasons why. 1. Because they have a good reward for their labor: in a good partnership, two can accomplish more than each one individually. 2. If they fall, one will lift up his companion: they can help each other in difficult times, also it is a blessing to give and to receive help. 3. If two lie down together, they will keep warm: when two work together they can bring comfort to the lives of each other. 4. Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him: they can bring safety and security to each other. Being together gives us good advantage rather than being alone, giving ann open access to productivity, support, comfort, and safety and security. Twofold cord sounds good, but the preacher doesn't end there. He added that a threefold cord is not quickly broken. We can be assure that the third cord is God Himself, and every relationship intertwined with God will not be easily broken. (Side note) This verse keeps me humming Taylor Swift's song Two is better than one. When I review it's lyrics, I thought to myself that this might be a good song for someone who taste and see the goodness of God.

[mikogami]

Your Honor. I always hear this word, referring to the judge who give verdict. For everyone is expected to give honor to him. Why? Is it for us to win the case, or we just want to give highest regards to someone in authority? But at times we do not receive what we want, justice. This time let us hear what the Bible says. King Solomon who refers everything to mean nothing, take a thought to self (Ecclesiastes 3:17). Is he asking God to put judgment to those people who persecute, hurt, or even those that do not obey him? Of course I do not know what he thinks. But this gave me a wider perspective about judgment. I thought of people who put burdens to my shoulder, to people who hurt me, to people who do not follow my instructions. Waiting for them to face God for judgment. And because my Lord knows everything they will face the final judgment. But because God is also transforming me, to be like Him (2 Corinthians 3:18). I thought in my heart, that I do not want someone to face or to be in eternal condemnation, but I want them to know Christ. Hence, I pray to God, to give me the power to share them the Gospel, and for them to respond or even act according to His will and not on how they treat me. My environment will change, and also their life. And this put me to a state of peacefulness. Thanks be to God.

[mikogami]

Past, Present and Future. My past, as long as I remember is not a smooth ride but God gave me anything that I need. Including those that I do not expected to come, and those that I prayed for. Not that I deserve it, but only because God delights in my welfare (Psalm 35:27). While in the current, I am still enjoying that privilege. The security, provision, love, family, friends, everything to be thankful for, including experiences that teaches me to be more dependent to God. Thinking that what I have now will be left behind when I die. So, for what are these blessings, those teachings for? Definitely not only for my own consumption, but to be shared to others (Jeremiah 20:19). While future, that may include me or not, still continues. Therefore these favors are meant to pass to the next generation. Not just the tidbits of our experiences, the staff that they can inherit, the name that we built. But always include that God made it possible. How God acts in the midst of uncertainty. How awesome to be in His presence after tiring days. I pray that I can pass this league to the next generation, for I also look up to them, just as my lineage and God did for me.

[mikogami]

The Word of God Prunes. Heavenly Father, thank You for initiating this loving relationship with You. May You reveal areas in my life that need to be pruned, and as You do so, I pray for the humility to receive and obey Your word. Teach me to abide in Your truth and walk in Your ways. In Jesus' name, amen.

[mikogami]

Whom to Please. I confess that I was a people pleaser before I met Christ, for I have thought that the idea of pleasing everyone will give me a peaceful and good environment to live, work and enjoy life. Until the day I finally get tired. I said to my self, I'm tired of being kind for everyone takes advantage of me. And next is, I do not want to be kind. And just I have thought, everyone, no single person truly cares for me, to person who is not kind at all. For everyone judge me for the unkindness that I have done. Now, I thank God, for He let me feel that I am loved not because of what I have done (Romans 5:8). And also for correcting my thoughts and ideas. Amen