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mili0nd0llarman · 11 months

Text

LET THE LIGHT IN

90s!james x fem!reader

warnings: toxic relationship, angsty (?), smut, arguing, alcohol, unedited, idk what else

pick you up at home, quarter to three

ask you if you want somethin’ to eat

drive around, get drunk, do it over again

james is standing outside of your front door, anxiously awaiting you. he rocks back and forth on his boots, his hands shoved in the back pockets of his jeans.

you open the door, hinges creaking. the palm of your hand is rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. blinking sleepily, you look up and see james, wondering what he could be doing here at this time.

‘hey babe.’ james says, greeting you with a kiss.

you allow your eyes to flutter shut, embracing the rare moment of love you get from him. your arms dangle around his shoulders, lips audibly smacking against his when you pull apart.

his larges hands are on your hips, holding you there. he sways the both of you very gently back and forth.

‘was wondering if you’d wanna go for a ride and grab somethin’ to eat?’ the sentence passes through james lips in a soft murmur.

you softly nod your head in confirmation, allowing james to gently pull you to his car. you hop into the passengers seat and watch him start the car. the streets are quiet as you drive to a twenty-four hour diner.

james pulls into a parking spot and puts the car into park. you both climb out and walk to the diner entrance. james opens the door for you, waving his hand for you to go in.

the diner is warm, a soft fleetwood mac song playing on the speakers. it’s almost empty, only two other people and the waiter. once you two find a booth and settle down, you look at the menu to decide what to get.

you both ordered a burger with a side a fries with a coke and pepsi. once the waiter brought the food over to the table, you both dig in, silence surrounding you.

james slaps down a thirty onto the table and looks at you through his lashes. ‘wanna get outta here and do something more fun?’

‘sure why not.’ you respond getting up and walking out of the diner.

next door is a liquor store, james drags you into it, grabbing some of the first beers he sees. you think to yourself, is our relationship always going to be like this? keeping it hidden and doing some stupid shit?

james pays for the beer and takes you to the car, he cracks open a beer and holds it up to your lips but you press your lips together and shake your head. he shrugs and starts to chug it. the sight brings sadness to your whole being, seeing him addicted to the one thing you hate.

he drives around and keeps drinking, music turned up loud. you look at him, brows set and lips tight.

‘bring me home james.’ you demand, not feeling comfortable at all.

he drives to your street, you get out of the car and he looks at you. ‘same time tomorrow?’

you look at him with a blank space and just walk to your front door, a small tear slipping out of your eye.

wake you up at night, quarter to one

i can never stop, wanna have fun

don’t be actin’ like i’m the kinda girl who can sleep

you lay in your bed, staring up at the ceiling unable to fall asleep. your check the clock on your bedside table, 12:45 pm.

you groan, grabbing a pillow and covering your face with it. turning onto your side, you shut your eyes and tried to fall asleep. you can’t help but toss and turn. you need a distraction.

getting up, you pull a pair of pants on and grab your car keys. walking to your car, you hop in and start it, pulling away from the curb. you drive to james house, knowing that he’ll be awake.

you pull into his driveway and park the car, slamming the door shut. you walk up the front steps and knock on his door, patiently waiting for him to answer the door. james opens the door and sees you there.

‘couldn’t sleep.’ you murmur, pushing past him to walk into his house.

you stand there and watch james shut the front door, and lock it. once he turns around, you pounce on him, holding his face in between your hands while roughly kissing him. james moans in response and grips your hips, while walking the two of you to his living room.

the only thing that’ll get you to sleep right now is having sex with james, he knows how to fulfil your needs.

‘cause every time you say you’re gonna go

i just smile, ‘cause babe, i already know

you know i got nothing under this overcoat

it’s no surprise to the boys that there is something going on between james and you. they can see the tension between you two.

the group is in the recording studio, james invited you to let you see what goings on behind the scenes. the only thing you have one is a overcoat, underneath is a pair of lingerie and black kitten heels.

you’ve seen james give you looks from across the room, lust clear in his eyes. you feel a sense of pride seeing him shift around on the couch and trying to use his guitar to cover his growing bulge.

james clears his throat and gets up. ‘i gotta go.’

you look down and smile at your lap, already knowing the effect you have on him. a few minutes later you get up and leave the recording studio to find james.

ooh, let the light in

at your back door yelling ‘cause i wanna come in

ooh, turn your light on

look at us, you and i, back at it again

you sit on your couch, tears streaming down your face after finding james fucking yet another girl. james is at your back door yelling at you to let him in, saying sorry and how it was a mistake.

you know he won’t go away anytime soon, so you get up and unlock the back door, letting him enter.

‘baby, baby,’ james rushes out, holding your face. ‘i’m sorry, it won’t happen again. i promise.’

you look up at him, believing his lies, only wanting his supposed love that he has for you. ‘you promise?’

‘i promise, baby.’ james whispers, kissing your forehead.

the same cycle always repeats, no matter how many times he promises he will stop.

pick you up around quarter to two

usually we got nothin’ to do

screw it, maybe you should and record some other songs

it’s mid afternoon, james and you are just cruising around los angeles in his car, not knowing what to do.

‘you write any new songs?’ you softly ask, looking out the window.

james hums in response to your question, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

‘you should record them, i’m sure they’re good.’ you encourage, looking at him.

got my dress on tight ‘cause you know that i

look shinin’ in the light, there’s so much ridin’

on this life and how we write our love song

you and james are suppose to be going to a party, so you pull out the tightest dress you own. you walk out of your bathroom, waiting for james reaction. he looks up with wide eyes, lips parted in awe.

‘holy shit, baby,’ he says breathlessly. ‘you look fucking hot.’

you give a little twirl, before he pulls you into a heated kiss, he pushes you down onto the bed and gets on top, kissing you feverishly. you moan into his mouth, using your legs to roll you both over so you’re on top.

you slowly grind on james, letting little moans slip past your lips. you start to kiss his neck, sucking hickies. you urgently bring your hands down to his belt to open in.

you pull down his jeans and eventually his boxers. james hands pulls your dress up past your hips, and pulls the thong you have on to the side.

you slowly sink down onto his dick, letting out a long moan. james grunts beneath you, hands squeezing your hips. you slowly to start moving back and forth, before picking up the pace.

the sounds in the bedroom are dirty, skin against skin and the sounds of both your grunts and moans.

‘mmh, i’m so close!’ you moaned out, looking up at the ceiling with your eyes screwed shut.

‘shit baby, me too.’ james pants, thrusting his hips up into you.

your bring one of your hands down and use your fingers to circle you clit. you feel like you’re seeing stars with the pleasure you’re feeling.

you let out a loud moan as you finish and james grunts. you lay on james chest breathing heavily, calming down from your high.

ooh, let the light in

at your back door yelling ‘cause i wanna come in

ooh, turn your light on

look at us, you and i back at it again

you’re sick and tired of it, the same cycle over and over again. james begging for your forgiveness.

you don’t know if you can even forgive him this time, fucking a new girl basically every week. you hear him at your back door always begging for you to let him in.

you gave up this time, you go to your bedroom and shut your door, drowning out the sounds of james shouts.

you lay in your bed, a pillow covering your ears, slowly falling asleep.

‘cause i love, to love, to love, to love, to love you

i hate to hate, to hate, to hate, to hate you

put the beatles on, light the candles, go back to bed

‘oh my fucking god! you can be so fucking stupid sometimes.’ james shouts at you, pulling his hair. ‘you’re telling me you don’t see how guys look at you? mmh?’

you shake your head, laughing without humour. ‘are you fucking kidding me? you don’t get to turn this around. you’re the one fucking a new girl every week! i’m sick of it james, i have no idea what to do anymore. you’re never available, you keep our relationship hidden for no reason.’

james looks at you, chest heaving with anger, he sees the way your hurt and stops.

‘baby, baby, i’m sorry.’ he coos, walking towards you and pulling you into a hug. ‘i don’t mean too.’

you hug him back, burrowing your face into his chest. james rocks the both of you back and forth.

‘let’s forget about this, m’kay?’ james says, looking down at you. ‘let’s put a beatles record on and go back to sleep, baby.’

‘cause i want, i want, i want, i want you

i need, to need, to need to need you

put the tv on and the flowers in a vase, lie your head

you feel helpless, you should’ve seen all the red flags surrounding your relationship with james. the toxicity of it.

you can’t help but always forgive him because he seems so genuine with his promises, yet he breaks them days later.

you sit on your couch, watching tv. there’s a knock at your door. you get up and walk to the front door, opening it. it’s james. he standing there with a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

he hands them to you and you accept. you bring the flowers up to your nose, breathing in the scent.

you nod a james, a silent saying to allow him to come inside. you go to the kitchen and grabbed a vase. you fill it with water and put the flowers inside.

ooh, let the light in

at your back door yelling ‘cause i wanna come in

ooh, turn your light on

look at us, you and i back at it again

it’s the early hours of the morning, you’re looking up at your ceiling not able to sleep.

you look at the man beside you. james is on his side facing you, lips parted and eyes fluttering around beneath his lids.

you sigh and face the opposite way, you can’t believe you let him in again. allowing him to hurt you in the process.

it’s always going to be the same cycle repeated, over and over again.

#james hetfield #papa het #metallica #james hetfield x reader #angst

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mili0nd0llarman · 1 year

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dads best friend!current! james x a plus sized!female! reader? :00

dbf!current!james x plus sized!female!reader

you got home from spending a day with some of your close friends, hanging out at a big field and sharing a joint between the five of you and having a conversation about what each of your plans are for after university finishes.

by the time you got home, the sun was already setting casting a warm golden glow across the sky. the fading light brings a sense of tranquility and beauty, as if nature itself is bidding farewell to the day.

as you pull into the driveway of your house, you notice a few cars, some that you recognize and some you don’t. you forgot about the barbecue that’s being held at your house with some of your dads friends. one car that caught your attention was the ford truck. james, you think. of course you recognize his truck, you’ve known him since you were eighteen.

you think about the stories that your dad told you about him and james from when they were younger. it’s been five years since you first met the man, you developed a silly little crush on him. i mean who wouldn’t, he was everyone’s and their moms crush. you thought that the crush would go away but it most definitely didn’t, it’s been a while since you last saw him.

you walk through the front door and hear some rock music on the speakers outside. the sounds of people talking become louder as you get closer to your back door. stepping outside into the backyard, you see some familiar faces. looking around you find your dad standing at the grill, with james.

your dad notices you and opens up his arms with a wide smile on his face. ‘hey! you have fun with your friends, kid?’

your arms wrapped around him in a embrace, then let him go. ‘yeah. we didn’t do much, just talked about anything that came to mind.’

your eyes flash over to james who was practically staring you down, his eyes flicking over the soft curves of your body. you can feel your stomach flipping from his eyes. you ran your eyes over his body, he seems happier and healthier. you notice the lack of a ring on his finger. did he get divorced?

your eyes connect with his and he gives you his signature smile, the same smile that started your crush on him. he gets up from the shitty garden chair and leans in for a hug which you replicate. your senses feel like they’re going haywire from being this close to him. you feel a bit disappointed when he pulls away from you.

as the night goes on you keep making eye contact with him. you feel flustered under his gaze and turn away to speak to someone to distract yourself.

james couldn’t help but let his gaze wander over you during the night. he feels a desire for you, he remembers meeting you at eighteen when you seemed so shy. now you’ve grown into a beautiful young lady.

your dad starts a fairly big fire for everyone to sit around. you sit on a camping chair next to james. he turns to look at you with a smile.

‘your dad told me you’re in university.’

‘yeah. i’m studying psychology, i graduate school next year. but i still have a bit more schooling after that.’

‘you enjoying it?’

‘i mean, yeah. it’s a bit frustrating at some points but it’ll be worth it in the end, i hope.’

james let’s out a laugh at that and you couldn’t help but laugh with him.

‘i heard your band came out with a new album a few months ago.’

james nodded. ‘we did. there were some ups and downs during it. lars and i still argue every once in a while, but we get past it.’

you smile at him and sip on the beer you cracked open. you look at the bottle and notice that it’s almost empty. you let out a short whistle at that. i never realized i drank that fast, you thought to yourself.

you get up from your chair and give james a small smile. ‘well i’m gonna head in to get something. you want me to grab you anything while i’m up?’

james politely declined and says that’ll he’ll get himself a cup of water. you nod and head into the kitchen with him following behind you. opening up the fridge you grab another beer and pop it open. you sit on the counter and watch james stand at the sink. your eyes rake over the back of his body once before your eyes connect with him.

as you look up, your eyes connect with his and you could help but feel your cheeks get hot from being caught. you see that he has a small smirk on his face as if he’s delighted to catch you staring at him.

he puts the glass of water down next to him makes his way over to you. your eyes get wide as he strides over. he places his big hands on your thighs before spreading them and standing between them.

you can’t help but feel like your in a daydream, where this really isn’t happening. you feel his hands wander over your curvaceous and full hips, feeling him squeeze at the fat there.

he leans his face forward, his eyes giving you an option if you want this or not. you feel like your on auto pilot as you lean your face towards him as well. your lips part slightly as you get closer to him, staring into his eyes.

your lips come together, creating a spark of passion and connection. it’s a soft and tender exchange, filled with warmth and excitement. both of your hearts race with anticipation, and times seem to stand still with your lips connected. the world around you and james fade away into the background, leaving only the intoxicating sensation of the embrace.

once you guys part, you open your eyes and stare into his eyes, feeling at peace for once in your life. just you and him.

a/n: idk how i feel about this :/ i didn’t really describe her being plus sized as it’s my first timing writing a plus sized character and i don’t want to offend anyone. feel free to leave any advice or criticism. anyones welcome to send in any requests :)

#james hetfield #papa het #james hetfield x reader #metallica

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