Remember in the summer 3 event how it’s mentioned that Bedi knows how to use a gun? and how it’s mentioned that while all the knights of the round table have childish sides, Bedi is more serious because “my journey was longer than theirs so my childish side is buried deeper”? You ever think about how Bedivere walked the earth for 1500 years, and actually lived these 1500 years, lived them, lived through them, felt the weight of every minute, saw the world change around him? It’s not a “oh he knows what happened thanks to the grail but he wasn’t actually here” he lived through these times. He saw new inventions. He picked up new skills. He met new people. He lost them. He saw empires rise and fall. He saw the land he bled for so dearly get forgotten, get turned into a myth. He saw the people he lived die, and then get badmouthed, and then get forgotten, and suddenly all he’s fought so hard for- gone, as if it’d never mattered at all.
I’M NOT DONE you ever think about how he walked so far and so long for the sake of one person? His friend he loved so. The last living one. His entire world crumbled around him and his best friend his best friend asked him to kill her. She asked him to bury the last of their time together in that lake. And he couldn’t. He just wanted his best friend to live. And then he realized too late what he’d condemned her to and he walked and walked and walked for all this time just to see her one more time, apologize to her, give her what belonged to her. Humans aren’t meant to live this long!! But he did it anyway. For her.
You ever think about how when he walked into that singularity, he saw that desolate land, saw all these deaths, and had to fight the people he used to call comrades? See them again, for the first time in a millenia and a half, and he had to kill them. See them again and he had to kill them. And He looks at them and he looks at the land and the people who live there and he thinks I did this. It was my fault. And he walks to this god wearing his friend’s face and he knows, he knows, it’s his sin, his deeds, he turned her into this. His best friend. He did this.
YOU EVER THINK about how he was human?? He wasn’t a god. He wasn’t even fae-powered. He wasn’t a wizard, or a spirit, or anything like that. He was human. He was like you and he walked so long and so far and his feet must have bled and his soul was torn apart but he kept going despite, because, he was human.
YOU EVER THINK that even in the timelines where he did give the sword back to the lake, he had to witness his best friend die in front of him??? Watch her smile and breathe out for the last time. And he knows his kingdom is gone all his friends are gone he’s the last one, the last one, the only one who survived. And standing on the grass with a body soon to be forgotten all he could whisper was “Do you see it, my king? The continuation of your dream?” Are you at peace, my king? At long last- are you at peace?