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Andrew Bird covering Mitski’s “Working for the Knife”. “This song caught my ear. Has everything I love in a great song. Interesting melody. Slightly ambiguous refrain prompting debate over what the knife is referring to.”

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- nobody loves the light like the blind man

alaska - magic bronson

all my heroes - bleachers

anger - sleeping at last

anxious - hippo campus

bambi - hippo campus

better in the morning - birdtalker

blah blah blues - charlie lim

boys will be bugs - cavetown

campus - vampire weekend

cherry - morningsiders

days like these - alexander wren

did it to myself - orla gartland

dirty imbecile - the happy fits

the distance - iron eyes cody

do i wanna know? - arctic monkeys

drown - seafret

earth - sleeping at last

ends of the earth - lord huron

figure it out - orla gartland

flowers - james spaite

i'd rather dance with you - kings of convenience

if i'm being honest - dodie

joy - time for three

lost - dermont kennedy

map of the problematique - muse

neptune - sleeping at last

the new great depression - the moth & the flame

new religion - the heydaze

peer pressure - james bay

pipe dream - lady denim

possibility - autoheart

the precipice - the classic crime

ship in a bottle - fin

shoot an arrow - autoheart

sight - sleeping at last

sisyphus - andrew bird

songbirds - ben thornewill

style - foster the people

tear up this town - keane

this life - vampire weekend

vowels (and the importance of being me) - hunny

wander. wonder. - the arcadian wild

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2022 resolutions

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Albert Camus asks the question “Does Sisyphus end up Happy?” Human sentimentality, human attachment & human emotion: primal.   Does that patch a hole in the heart of the human? To have one certainty.   Much of life is extremely chaotic & full of uncertainty. All relationships that are meaningful are chaotic.    Life is not about a neat concise  “happy ending”:: not to mention how do humans define happiness?. Humans go on sometimes they go on together, sometimes they grow apart sometimes there are no resolutions sometimes the abandoned child remains abandoned & grows up to become an adult with a fear of abandonment.   

So, if you were given the chance to go back in time, what would you change?

My answer as a Daoist is that there is no past and no future. There is only now. 

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The Addiction (1995) | dir. Abel Ferrara

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I asked

If i myself am a chaotic creature, how dare i pray for peace ?

Then I thought…

Why fight it ? The chaos I mean..

When, for all we know

“There is only one day left, always starting over: It is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk.”

And I got my answers:

"He in his madness prays for storms, and dreams that storms will bring him peace."

See, the thing is

I was raised to believe that I belong to the light…

Grew up hearing the fairytales that mama told about the magnificent sparkling branches of the sun descended and wrapping themselves around my heart the minute i was born. “It was magical, you never even cried” she said.

But fairytales are just that, and mama never heard the sun admitting how she craved for the heart of darkness to be hers, how all she ever wanted was to just give up, To dance and burn and destruct…

But i did.

And mama never knew about

“the relief of giving in to destruction”

But i do.

•••

Quotes:

1. Jean-Paul Sartre. 2.Leo Tolstoy. 3.Franz Kafka

Art:

1. Flood of Justice by Santiago Caruso. 2. Controlled by huleeb. 3. The Beyond by Jairo Guerrero. 4. Sad Song for Dracula by Nadezda. 5. "Song Of The Blue World" by Vanessa Lemen. 6. Ghost clouds, ca. 1897, by Richard Riemerschmid. 7. Joseph Tomanek - Fire dance. 8. The Essence of Silence by Anato Finnstark. 9. Pandora opening her box (1896) by John William.

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Philosophy Memes to Fuel our Existential Crisis

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Remember me one last time, before you forget me eternally.

Cx

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Les Femmes (1969)

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not to be dramatic but I am, I went to the old library and felt my heart break like something expensive and heavy, like someone shoved a brick through my chest and said “you might know lots of words, but you won’t get to know all the ways in which these rows upon rows of authors used them” and then smashed my vase-heart on the floor with said brick, like for FUCKS sake, I don’t get fomo about the parties I’ve missed, but I do want to host a funeral for all the books I’ll never get to have my entire world changed by

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Ummm SO if anyone wants a new playlist....

X

X

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Shadows (1959) dir. John Cassavetes

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— José Olivarez, from "Getting Ready to Say I Love You to My Dad, It Rains," Citizen Illegal

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Rolling in my grave