mimiist

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wet man wednesday

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The term Techbro used to simply define a nerdy guy who liked ipods and GPU's and shit, but that term has now been thieved by the harbingers of the dystopian apocalypse and I'm not even being hyperbolic

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As much as tumblr likes to post about boypussy some people on here get really mad when you ask them to respect the men who have pussies.

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I regret to inform you the middle class insecurity industry has now given us the concept of "microcheating", which is when your husband talks to people or has friends

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So the dude passes through dimensions, dies twice AND gets assimulated, still no promotion.

[mimiist]

An Incomplete List of the Animals my Grandpa brought home over the course of his 67-year marriage to Gandma:

Annabell, a solid white and completely deaf pit bull that used to let mom draw on her belly

The World’s Ugliest Tom Cat, who turned out to be the cuddiest teddy bear of an animal

Cocker spaniel named “Captain”

Stupid, the Cat

Litter of baby raccoons

Three more cats

A completely bald and extremely anxious canary that sang beautifully, but only at 4 AM

Baby Squirrel that grew up in the house and then refused to move out

A Genuine Thoroughbred Racehorse who was a spectacular athelete but had a habit of running races in the wrong direction.  Benny turned out to be a terrific trail horse instead.

Turtle

Snapping Turtle

A bucket full of 43 goldfish left over from the fair.  Mom counted once they were all in the bathtub in the backyard with the snapping turtle.

Another cocker spaniel named “Major”, who had the tremendous talent of eating green beans silently

Red-tailed hawk he found on the highway, and sucessfully nursed back to health and released.

Dummy, Son of Stupid

Strange, the dog that lived under the porch and only came into the house at night.

An “abandoned” baby deer.

Spooky, an alleged dog.  

Joey the parakeet whose tricks were  1. drinking tea out of a tiny cup 2. threatening to peck out people’s eyes 3. wearing hats

A Really Big Toad he found behind the factory, because the other auto workers were discussing using it for target practice.  Mr. Grumpity was guardian of the rosebed for several years and granny’s (his mother) favorite animal he ever brought home.

Gretchen, a St. Bernard that had to be shaved from her prior owner’s neglect, and spent a week hiding from sight with such success in the house that they thought she’d run away.

Arson, Burglary and Murder, three frankly adorable little kittens.  They did not change the names, much to the regret of the cop who lived three doors down.

Yet another Cocker Spaniel, named “Colonel”

Cardinal (bird)

Canada Goose (Demon)

Once in the nursing home, he had a “pet” 12-point whitetail buck that would come to his window to be fed corn and get headskritches, inexplicably named “Florence”

The marriage only ended because thier time on earth did. He never kept an animal Grandma wouldn’t allow and if anything she was worse about it. She was the one who brought home a tarantula.

[mimiist]

G3 My Little Pony holographic stickers

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“I’ll just rest my eyes” is the biggest lie you’re going straight to snorkmimimi land

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why is ao3 is blocked on the hospital wifi????

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Denver Zoo and its gay lorikeets said fuck homophobes happy Pride

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chill dude

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my neighbourhood has never had an ice cream truck. in the summer, we have the knife sharpening truck. it slowly circles the block and rings its ominous bell. i have never seen someone interact with it. it may be that only those marked by death can see it

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we all talk about piss

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alien abductee dating site profile listing relationship status as "taken"