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A giant archipelago-hopping fragments of day and night

But I'm still writing, so I know I'm still alive

Cathemerality, it's all the rage, all my rage

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Growth

A time-worn curriculum that still works for the problems of today:

Crying in a public bathroom

Speed walking out of a situation without providing a convincing performance of being fine

Crying in a car

Crying in a bed

Linking this new event to a string of other events that having varying degrees of relevancy to the new event

Physical exertion

Staring beyond the edge of a drop off in an emotional ocean

Furious journaling

Trying out versions of how to remember this event in the future

Experience upgrades:

Dismissing self-recrimination

Dismissing cynicism

Not calling inappropriate people to try to stanch the feelings

Not getting lost in hypothetical scenarios

Resisting absolutes

Letting the robot brain provide cold comforts, which are still comforts

Making plans of action

Doing one good thing for the world so this day is not defined by one event

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Somewhere in the Sargasso Sea the water disappears into itself, hauling an ocean in.

Vortex, how you repeat a single gesture, come round to find only

yourself, a cup full of questions, perhaps some curl of wisdom, a bit of flung salt.

You hold an absence at your center, as if it were a life.

Grief - Richard Brostoff

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Yebba - Louie Bag

And ever since I can remember That's just the way it hurts

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Yebba - Boomerang

I’m a danger to myself 

 I run from twelve 

 And take my rage across the county line

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Anybody - Jérémie Arcache · Christophe Musset

It’s shocking to feel fully known by a stranger. How did you see me when I work so hard not to be seen?

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Petal · Lee Jung Hwa

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recede

The act of recall warps memory and imagination to such similar textures for me. I used to feel like life depended on writing down details. Write to remember it happened as it happened. But then I write it down and my perspective locks into one direction and dimension and I can’t examine a moment in any other way. And then each act of accessing that memory is like taking a photograph of a photograph, taking one step back each time I hit the shutter.

I don’t know what to do with a year without any texture or resistance. I am a splat of mayo on a fridge shelf.

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Meg Meyers - Desire

Desire, I'm hungry I hope you feed me

Still a banger.

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FLETCHER, Kino - Bitter ft. Trevor Daniel

I left a taste in your mouth Can she taste me now

I’m bitter

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Zoltan Kaszas

“You’re not a good person; you just have anxiety” and the airplane deboarding bit hit too hard to be funny and I swear tg if this is the thing that pushes me into therapy, I am going to absolutely perish from embarrassment. What do you mean people normally do not have an eight step plan for how to get to the metro on time. And by on time, I mean seven to fifteen minutes early.

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Sir Sly - High

It feels good to be running from the devil / Another breath and I’m up another level / It feels good to be up above the clouds / It feels good for the first time in a long time now

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The Knocks (w/ Dragonette) - Slow Song

Oh, I got ways to shake it off, baby And as long as you stay intoxicated I'll keep beating your heart until I break it Because you can take it

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Strawberry Letter #23

Hello, my love, I heard a kiss from you

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dance dance dance

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Deftones - Change (In the House of Flies)

I wish I had more mixtapes from you

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Mathematical choreography

I’ve loved her for years. If Galen Hooks is looking at me in 3/4 profile, I can’t break eye contact until she does. D*mn.