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minbulas · 9 months ago

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All About You

Maybe it's all about you when your youth is filled with each other's names and your heart has never changed. That's what Juyeon finds out when he falls in love with his best friend.

pairing : bff!juyeon x gn!reader (+bf to ex!sunwoo) genre : fluff, bestfriends to lovers, slow burn, slight angst but happy ending warnings : swearing/cursing, sex jokes, implied sex, mention of burnout, alcohol consumption, heartbreak, pet names (sweetheart, good girl, pretty, baby) notes : it's been a long road but i'm happy to introduce y'all to my baby! i've been (and still am) obsessed with juyeon since the zeneration 2 concert and i guess i've had a lot to write about him... i hope you'll find out the few references i've managed to sneak in! enjoy ✧.* shout out to my dear @winterchimez for proofreading and helping me during the whole writing process, you were a great help <3 words count : 13745

No one ever told you how relationships work. So when you fell in love with your best friend Juyeon at 16, you felt a little helpless. Should he be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Was it wrong to lean on him when he welcomed you into his arms for a movie night? Eventually those feelings faded as you both started dating, and you wondered if it was even true love. Maybe the 16-year-old teenager you were was just attracted to the idea of being close to another soul, mentally and physically.

Maybe yes.

The only thing you know right now at 24, is that the feelings you had for Juyeon back then were nothing compared to the ones you have for Sunwoo today. The attention and love he gives you makes everyone jealous. Even Juyeon himself.

If he wanted to take you out to dinner, you would turn him down because you already had plans with Sunwoo. Arcade, karaoke, late night walks, picnics, fancy restaurants or fast food, you’re always together. Sometimes when you feel like staying in, Juyeon would show up, hoping to watch a movie like the good old days. But he’s met with Sunwoo at the door and doesn’t have the energy to see you being all lovey-dovey.

He knows better than to be a third wheel. As much as he understands the time you spend with your boyfriend, he can’t help but feel jealous and left out. You’re not trying to make him feel that way, you just needed Sunwoo’s presence.

The two of you met in your 3rd year of thesis. He was actually the student under your supervision for his end-of-studies internship. You obviously spent six months seeing each other and working together – in the lab, the library, cafes and even at home. You both grew closer in no time, and that’s only fair given the fact that Sunwoo is a living comedian. You don’t think you would have made it through the whole editing process without his support.

The funniest thing he had ever done was that he was proofreading your work while you did the same for his. Sure enough, you both graduated with the help from one another and a couple of kisses were shared.

From Juyeon’s point of view, those six months felt like an eternity. He had a girlfriend at the time and couldn’t really go out with you. You were both busy for different reasons, but still tried to see each other once a week. But when you did see each other, you always talked about Sunwoo and he talked about his girlfriend. That’s what your lives were made of, but it was a little heartbreaking that you were best friends who only talked about your partners.

“How’s the job hunt going?” He asked at one of your meetings.

“Great actually, I felt like giving up, but I didn’t endure those three years to throw it all away, did I? Sunwoo helped me a lot, he’s my lifesaver.”

Juyeon felt like throwing up, as if his heart had been stepped on the moment he heard those words, and he didn’t know why.

“What about you?” You asked him, cutting his train of thought.

Oh, he knew you were talking about his own job, which he quit a few months ago (more like he’s on a break because he’s burned out). But it’s not like he has to tell you; he doesn’t have the guts to anyway. He thinks you would be sad and angry with him, when all you really want is for him to be happy. And he’s also upset that he’s had to give up on his dream job because it was affecting his health. Thankfully, his boss has been kind enough to give him a chance to rest up for now. Maybe all he needs to keep going is your reassurance?

“We broke up.” He says quietly, looking down at his hands.

“I’m so sorry Juyo, aren’t you too sad?” You say as you reach out to him.

“To be honest, I am.” He admits, looking up at you, a small smile forms on his lips. “It was a mutual agreement, but I feel like I screwed it up. She said I needed to think about my own needs and wants.”

“And what do you want?”

“To spend time with you.” He says straightforwardly.

Your cheeks flushed at his sudden comment. Has he always been so honest?

“I’m free tomorrow if you’re fine with that? Sunwoo is going out with his band.” You say, eager to spend more time with him. “Oh, and Juyo; you should know that I will always make time for you. You’re a big part of my life and I care about you more than anyone else so please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything. I’m just one call away.”

“I know that but I always seem to bother you.” He says, a little ashamed to think so.

“You don’t. What makes you think that?” You frown at his words, wondering if he actually meant them. “You have no idea how much I look forward to our weekly meetings! It keeps me going during the week, I swear, ask Sunwoo he only hears about you.”

“Oh,” he responded, feeling delighted with your words.

“Yes Juyo, I miss you a lot.” You gasped shyly, suddenly very focused on your hot cup.

“I miss you even more.” He looks for your eyes with a hint of fondness that you don’t notice, even when you raise your head to tell him,

“So tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” he smiles, pleased to see you smile back with the same touch of affection.

When you think about it, you don’t understand how it is possible to break up with Lee Juyeon. You didn’t really know the girl he was dating, you never met her, you only saw her face in a picture once. But you do know your best friend, and he’s not the type to break someone’s heart. He would fight for the person he loves, even if it doesn’t work out. Juyeon is love personified. So how can you reject him?

Woo ☼ (3)

Sweetheart I miss you

When are you coming back home

I have a present for you

What kind of present?

Me ;)

OMW

Juyo <3 (1)

Thanks for today, I can’t wait for tomorrow. Pick you up at 10?

Will be pretty and ready!

Always pretty but ready? I’m looking forward to it

As soon as you read his message, your heart began to thump real loud and your cheeks immediately flushed red. Who are you and what have you done to Juyeon? When did he become so flirty? Or maybe he has always been like this and you never cared before. But why do you even care now?

When you were 16, you remember vividly how he kissed your hand goodbye because he was a gentleman and you were a darling. Everyone at school made fun of you for being so old-fashioned, but little did they know that you liked it. Eventually, when you turned 17, he dropped the act and started kissing your forehead instead. It was a hundred per cent worse. Your cheeks turned pink every time you thought about it and people were calling you out for being highkey on PDA and asking you to spare the singles.

Maybe then he was always this flirty.

It didn’t matter much to you because it was puppy love. The first man you ever loved. Until Sunwoo came into the picture.

“How was your date sweetheart?” You laugh into the kiss he greets you with.

“Pretty good, I think I’m developing feelings, I don’t know, he’s just so sweet and- Ouch Sunwoo!” You yelped, surprised by his sudden, somewhat erotic gesture.

“What?” He giggles innocently.

“You didn’t have to pin me against the wall, did you?” You ask rhetorically, knowing full well what his answer will be.

“I did,” his sparkling eyes turn to onyx, his tongue runs over his lips and his gaze travels up and down your body as he answers.

“Yeah?” You whisper, aroused by his deep voice.

“Yes.”

His plump lips are all over yours in an instant, taking your breath away. To deepen the kiss and emphasise his need to be closer, he grabs your legs so you can wrap them around his waist and welcome him in. Your arms wrap around his neck as you yield, kissing him back with passion and love. He doesn’t let go until you’re both out of breath, and then he kisses you again and again like a madman. Eventually, you’re so lost in the pleasure of his kisses that when you feel him nipping at your neck, you push him away, panting.

“I understand that Juyeon is your best friend,” he says with a heavy voice. “But you can’t joke about dating another man.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to answer as he runs his tongue over your lips before kissing you lazily. You stick out your tongue, waiting for him to resume his kiss. He chuckles at your behaviour but kisses you nonetheless.

“Good girl hm, are you hungry?” He utters with lustful and honey dripping eyes.

“Let’s take this into the bedroom then.” At his promise to take you to heaven, you nod eagerly, excited to see what he has planned for you.

You don’t quite remember what happened after that, too lost in lust and love. You felt the kisses on your forehead and the caresses in your hair before he left the bed.

Suddenly, nothing. All you felt was emptiness.

You turn to check your phone when you yelp in pain because your back hurts. Your man was a beast last night.

Wait.

9:30am?

You hurriedly get out of bed, taking in your dishevelled appearance and the hickeys Sunwoo had the courtesy to leave on your body. You’re ashamed to go out like this, because you know that you have little to no time to cover them up.

More importantly, Juyeon will notice them. It’s not that you cared about exposing your sex life, you have a lot of fun with Sunwoo and he’s the greatest in and out of bed. But for Juyeon to see you in such a vulnerable way? It does something to you and you can’t figure out why.

You never talked about your sex life with Juyeon although you are best friends; you two are kind of secretive. Sure, there were times when you complained that your exes were terrible kissers or that dates were horrible. But when it comes to any form of intimacy, it was out of the books. You both never joked about kinks, never asked about turn-ons. Yet, you shared your very first kiss with Juyeon when you were 16.

It was a bit messy and hilarious because you had no idea what you were doing. You remember how when he dropped you off after school or after a playdate, he had this cute habit of kissing your hand goodbye. It was also at that age when you started going to parties – a party between friends, no alcohol, maybe just some cheap beer that tasted like grass. But that was fun and it was also the time when you were introduced to love, through couples and kisses.

Love has always been a foreign language to you. You know for a fact that love is what your parents share with each other, through physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts but also through struggles.

But you also know that the person you’re closest to doing those things is Juyeon. You both were always cuddling, fighting over movies or places to eat. You both would also cheer, support and reassure each other.

You both would always have each other on your minds, sending texts, calling or buying sweet things. It’s only fair that you thought you were in love with him, isn’t it?

And that faithful night, at your birthday party, he thought it would be a great idea to carry you and run around in circles until he lost his balance and fell with you laying on top of him. You didn’t know what was going through his mind, but you saw flames in his starry eyes, and then he pecked at your lips. He brushed it off by pulling you up and wishing you a happy birthday but your heart was racing and so was his.

“Sorry Ju, I woke up late, I didn’t want to keep you waiting,” you pout as you reached his car, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank god your prettiness makes up for lost time,” he jokingly hugs you, his hands laying a little low on your waist. “But you have to take responsibility for making me wait.”

“Juyeon! It’s been 5 minutes you can’t blame me for the delay!” You wriggle into his embrace and put your head in the crook of his neck, a little embarrassed but wanting to be close to him.

“I can, and that’s exactly what I’m doing,” he whistles, taking you out of his arms to observe the love bites on your fair skin. “Maybe you’d be on time if you hadn’t had so much fun last night.”

“Y-Yeah, I walked into a trap,” you stammered, speechless.

“The kind of trap you can’t refuse, I bet.”

And he opens the passenger door before giving you his hand to help you get in. You look at his hand and then straight into his eyes to understand where that confidence comes from, but he just smiles and nods.

“Come on, we have much to do before the carriage turns into a pumpkin.” He smiles and fights with the wind to tuck a wild strand of hair behind your ear.

Spending time with Juyeon is one of the things you adore the most in the world. You were so used to spending your days with him when you were teenagers that you almost forgot what it was like. The princess treatment, the cafe dates, the shopping and giving opinions on outfits, the restaurants. Now that you’re all grown up, reliving those moments feels a little bit odd but great. After all, you’re the same people who dance to the music in every corner shop and laugh at every silly move you make.

Going out with Juyeon is also all about treats and gifts. You have this implicit rule that when you’re out and about, you’re encouraged to pay in turns – be it at the restaurants, bars or for desserts. And of course, he pleases you more often than you please him, but you tend to buy more things related to him – matching items or clothes that reflect his style.

“Look at this cute bracelet! We should get it to celebrate our 10 years offriendship,” you beamed, slipping the bracelet around his wrist without a word of protest to see how it looks.

“But it’s paired with a promise ring?” He comments, in case you haven’t noticed and had a change of heart.

“Then we can get the ring in another 10 years,” you giggle and squeeze his hand to reassure him that this is what you want.

Happy with your little joke, you went to the cashier to buy the bracelets. But it sparked something within Juyeon’s heart. He may be slow to understand, but you don’t have to tell him twice. You consider him to be your significant other. That’s what a promise ring means.

After all, you wanted to commit yourself to him for the rest of your life. You’re his best friend and that should be normal. It is normal to stick by each other’s side. But why is his heart missing a beat?

If you ask Juyeon about his relationship with you, he would describe it as “enchanting”. You’re the most important thing to him. Ever since he bumped into you in 3rd grade, you two have been inseparable. But there’s something that’s always bothered him.

In the beginning, he thought it was because you were the only one that he was really close to. He didn’t look at you any differently. But every time you smiled, he felt a twist in his stomach. Then he made it his goal to make you blush and to kiss your hand. It was thrilling to see you all flustered by his own actions.

He grew up and unfortunately that feeling never went away. In the end, he thought that maybe it was just the hormones. A 16-year-old boy needs to get to know his body and its needs. That’s what he did. Eventually the feelings vanished, but the uncomfortable feeling stayed. Even when he was with his ex.

He’s well aware that you are in a relationship with Sunwoo and that the two of you are in love. He’s never been happier for you. After all the people who have taken advantage of you, you deserve someone positive. Someone who will be there for you and will make you feel loved and truly fall in love. Like Sunwoo.

And yet, he doesn’t know why he’s so attracted to you. He needs to explore his feelings. At least to understand them. Even if it costs him.

“How about a drink?” He asks as the sun is about to go down.

“No, you need to drive safely.” You flinched, clearly against the idea of losing him in such a stupid way.

“What about my place? You know I have this amazing balcony overlooking the sea.” He offers in return with a smirk.

“Deal,” you say with gleaming eyes.

You love Juyeon’s apartment; it has a soft and romantic atmosphere and it’s even more beautiful when the sun goes down. The many plants he has turn a warm orange with the colours of the sky and you swear, it’s so beautiful, like a haven of peace.

“Red or white?” He asks, holding the two bottles out for you.

“Anything’s fine, choose for me please Juyo,” you sing-song, happy to share this moment with him.

While you are setting up his balcony table with candles and wine glasses, he returns with a red bottle and appetisers. He gestures for you to sit on the bean bag and pour the wine like a real chef. You whistle, impressed by his newfound skill. Furthermore, it wouldn’t be Juyeon if he didn’t do a little dance to make you laugh before handing you your glass.

Now that he’s seated, you allow yourself to take in your surroundings. It’s quiet, but you can hear the faint music coming from the living room speakers. Juyeon has never liked the silence, so he always needs to have some kind of background music to feel comfortable. He says it calms him down, especially when he’s nervous, and you have to agree with that.

But does that mean that he was nervous right now?

He never needed music with you, as he always said your voice was his own melody – the harmony he couldn’t get enough of.

“Thank you,” he whispers, pulling you out of your reverie.

You nod, knowing exactly what he means, and reach out to take his hand. He intertwines your fingers and, in the pink-orange hues of the sky you catch yourself blushing. You risk a glance to see him starring absent-mindedly into space and you seize the opportunity to stare him down.

His bangs, usually on his forehead are pushed back, giving him a more mature and sexy look. His eyes, in a beautiful crescent shape, shine with the intensity of the stars. His pretty nose sits up on his face, like a trophy ready to be claimed. And his lips. They’re curled into a gentle smile.

Without a care in the world, he runs his tongue over them and opens them as if he wanted to speak. But no sound comes out, except for the tongue he’s now biting. Suddenly, as if he was aware that you are looking at him, he turns to meet your gaze. Truth be told, you weren’t very discreet. His dark eyes hold yours, then move to your lips, and you see the faint beginnings of a smirk on his lips before he bursts into laughter.

“Like what you see?” He points out, all smug.

That fucker.

You slapped him playfully before you realised you were biting your lips. Yet, he still looks at you as if you were the one who hung the stars in the sky and shone in their place.

All of a sudden, his eyes turn mischievous and you find yourself in his arms as he leads you into the living room. He turns up the music, grabs the camera, puts on a pair of framed glasses and starts dancing. You joined him, because there is no world in which you wouldn’t follow Juyeon. You dance like you’re in a club, grab the wine bottle and shout the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Juyeon films you through the mirror and you play along, you’re the model, he’s the artist. Until he puts the camera in a corner to film the both of you and starts to dance an old choreo that you both did. You smile broadly and the night goes by like this. In between drinking and dancing.

At some point, you find yourselves taking a stroll, jumping and dancing around poles. Oh, but you’re not drunk! Juyeon took out his camera and kept filming you, laughing. The man was hyping you up, the street was your runway! And even though it was a little embarrassing, you had a lot of fun. Trust Juyeon to make you feel the best!

Around midnight, you were eating ice cream in the nearest park when your phone screen lit up with a call.

Woo ☼.

Oh, no. You forgot to inform him you were going out with yesterday’s activities.

“Babyyyyy,” he whines, sounding tired, “where you aaaat.”

“At Juyeon’s, we-“ You’re cut off as Juyeon steals your phone, brushing against your hands a little too long.

“Sorry,” he hiccups, “is it all right if we keep each other company for the night? I can’t drive right now.” Juyeon tries to apologise but is cut short by Sunwoo.

“Had a fun night I see?”

You can feel his anger rising from the way his voice drops an octave. Sunwoo has always been jealous of Juyeon. When you got together, he was very insecure at first, knowing that you had a male best friend and seeing you spend so much time with him. It took some time, but the trust you’ve built up has overcome that awful feeling.

You still have to reassure him sometimes, and that’s okay because Juyeon is your best friend and Sunwoo is your boyfriend. You love them both in different ways. You talked about it with Juyeon and later he got jealous because you spent all your time with Sunwoo on your trip to comfort him. It wasn’t easy, but they learnt to trust you. Along the way, you may have convinced yourself that everything would be fine.

“Sunny, baby, I’m sorry I didn’t inform you. I will sleep at Juyeon’s and be back first thing in the morning before you wake up,” you say in a soft voice, trying to soothe him.

“I’m sorry too,” he voices out, letting out a breath lost in his own emotions, “I panicked when I didn’t see you at home. But I’m glad you’re all right.”

“I know,” you sighed, glancing at Juyeon, “I’m in good hands, I promise.”

“Hurry back, I miss my goodnight kiss already.” He replies, seemingly content with the current arrangement.

“Will be there in no time,” you giggled.

“I love you,” he answers, a smile blooming in his voice.

“I love you too.”

He hangs up just as he called, smiley, which makes you beam in return. However, when you turn to face Juyeon he’s anything but smiling. In his frowning eyes you decipher a sombre mood. Something in complete contrast to the joy you shared tonight. You reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls it back before you can do so.

“We should head back, it’s getting late.” He says firmly.

Your heart breaks at his words. Without giving him a chance, you cupped his face, forcing him to look at you. The hurt look in his eyes makes your heart swell. You scan him to see if he wants to answer, but he avoids you. You’re so close and yet so far away. You feel like throwing up, because your best friend never acted like this around you. He never once avoided you nor stopped talking to you. Thus, you did the only thing you can think of.

You hugged him, as tightly as you can.

You feel his heart pounding and wonder if it’s from the unknown emotions he’s carrying or from your physical touch. You put your hand on his broad chest to feel his heartbeat and plant a kiss on it to reassure him. It stirs something in Juyeon and he hugs you back so tightly you think you’ll lose your breath. He holds you in his arms for what seems like an eternity, your head nestled in the crook of his neck. But you don’t complain, you felt safe.

You stay there, in the warm embrace that contrasts with the cool of the night, squeezing him a little tighter when you hear passers-by whistling lovingly at you. When he lets go, you can see the faint pink colour that tints his cheeks, brought out by the street lights. But little did you know that you have the same colours on your face, if not stronger?

“You okay?” You ask as you rub small circles on his back.

“Yes I am,” he lies openly in a husky voice, “I’m okay.”

Juyeon is fucked. Completely screwed. He’s absolutely, unquestionably and sincerely in love with you.

He has been for quite some time, now that he thinks about it. But he never admitted it. That damned twist in his gut that never left his mind, he knows where it comes from now.

In order to cope with his newfound feelings he lets you use the bathroom first while he changes the sheets and tidies up the living room. He’s floating, not sure if he will ever get a wink of sleep. Especially if you both sleep in the same bed. Because to you, he’s just your best friend, the one you’ve slept with countless times. No strings attached.

He can’t imagine you in his arms, nor can he look forward to waking up by your side. You’re not his.

“Juyo?” Your tired voice echoes from the corridor. “C-Can I get some clothes?”

Oh. That doesn’t mean anything. You have always shared clothes. Then why was he so excited to see you in them? Right, because he’s madly in love with you and knows you will look ravishing in his big shirt. Also because sharing clothes is such an intimate thing couples do. If he lends you his current pyjamas because they have his scent on them, you couldn’t blame him. He’s just a man.

“Are you coming?” You inquire, walking towards him.

It’s worse than anything he’d ever imagined. The shirt is definitely too big for you going down one shoulder, showing the beginning of your chest and reaching halfway up your thighs. What’s more, your pretty thighs are covered by the shorts that rises up when you sit next to him. He looks away, embarrassed to be staring at you.

“I will sleep on the couch, don’t worry about me.”

“No way,” you retorted with little energy left, “your bed is big enough for both of us.”

He’s been acting strange today. First he was feeling all overconfident, then flirtatious, followed by anger, and now shyness and embarrassment. You take a piece of the blanket lying on his lap and you stretch your legs out on the sofa, letting your head fall on his shoulder. Sleep can wait, Juyeon can’t.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Don’t lie to me.” You ask, breathing softly into his ear.

“No,” he shudders, with a faraway look in his eyes, “I’m not okay and I don’t know how to get through this.”

“What’s wrong Juyo? Do you want to talk about it?” You pause to gauge his reaction. “Is it about your ex?”

“More or less,” he breathes out. “The breakup wasn’t that bad, like I said, it was a mutual decision. It’s just- when you started dating Sunwoo I was so happy for you, happy that you found someone who was worthy of your love and loved you the right way. And I thought I would be happy if I found that special someone, I longed for it. But I ended up in different relationships throughout the year, never lasting more than two months. And that’s ok, maybe they weren’t the right person for me, maybe it wasn’t the right time, maybe this, maybe that. I really thought I was going to be happy and I ended up getting my heart broken every time. As much as I believe now that I don’t deserve to be loved. I think I went into my last relationship in that state of mind, and I think she felt it too. Hard not to, is it? We had long talks and great times together; I think I really liked her. And I know she liked me back, I’m just not ready to be in an exclusive relationship right now.”

And everything he said is true, he’s more than happy for you and he thought he would be happy. But he can’t be happy in a relationship that isn’t with you.

“There’s also something I’ve never told you,” he continues, sniggering at the absurdity of his reasoning. “Something I should have told you a long time ago, it doesn’t make me proud, and it sort of reflects why my love life was so messed up. I can’t say it’s the only reason, but it played a big part in my mental health.”

You want to cry so badly, he has endured it all alone and it must have weighed heavily on him. At this point, you’re just waiting to speak and respond but every word that comes out of his beautiful mouth leaves you speechless. You’re such a bad friend that you’ve never noticed the way his eyes get dark and gloomy, or how he cancels your plans at the last minute because he’s got something else planned. When in fact it was sadness overload. Sure everyone has their own coping mechanisms, you wish you could have been there for him, but here you were Juyeon letting you in and you’re here to stay.

“It’s been two months since I was diagnosed with burnout and stopped working. It started off as something mild when I came home more exhausted than usual. I thought I wasn’t getting enough sleep but then I started to feel mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. It was hard to concentrate on my daily tasks and you know how much I love my job? I felt like I was going to die because I couldn’t even have fun doing what I love. Going out with you, my friends or my ex felt great, but I wasn’t as invested as I used to be.” He pauses to catch his breath and swallow back the tears.

“Don’t get me wrong, today was absolutely perfect and I was hyped, I still am. Today felt like going back to when we were sixteen and I loved it. I’m actually starting to feel better. The break up helped a lot because it was taking a toll on my mental health. I know I said I liked her and I did, but I couldn’t help but feel unwanted. Even when she was riding me,” he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

“And it hurts that I didn’t have the guts to talk to you about it because I was afraid of how you would react. Like, hello, I’m taking a break from work because I feel like shit? And I would really like to get your approval so that I can move on. Because you mean everything to me,” he ends shyly.

“Juyeon,” you say in a soft and caring voice, “you mean the world to me too.”

You continued. “You mean the whole world to me and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I could come up with something, but it wouldn’t make up for what you’ve been through. You are strong, stronger than anyone. It’s so hard to keep your head above water that I’m proud of you for speaking up and even stopping work. Because focusing on your health is the most important thing. Situation and money may go but I will always stay. I’m so proud of you, proud of who you are and who you’re becoming. You’ll never stop growing and I’ll be there every step of the way, watching you blossom and be happy.”

“And I know you feel like you’ll never be happy,” you resumed, holding his hand. “The only thing I can say is, as hard as it seems, everything you live makes you stronger. Even more beautiful. There’s someone in this world waiting patiently for you, to love you properly, to make you feel loved and wanted. You’re an exceptional person, Juyeon. By that I mean you go above and beyond the call of duty, you give your total support and care, you show up when something’s wrong and I bet you’re an even more protective lover. We did everything together, cried, laughed, smiled, loved. My youth was filled with you and I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t happy because you were and are always by my side.”

“Today was the best time I’ve had in weeks, and that’s because I am with you. We danced, a lot. And you know how dancing has always been our escape,” you paused as you saw the first hint of a smile creep across his face as you continued. “I saw your smile, it was genuine and you were so beautiful. It may have been hard, you’ve been hard on yourself, but today the man I saw was happy. I’m happy because you’re happy, and I’m sad when you’re sad. We are one Juyeon, and I want you to know that I’m here for you, always.”

Long before you have finished speaking, he has taken you in his arms. His embrace is not heavy, but you can feel the weight on his shoulders lighten. You have so many feelings for him, they all blend together and you don’t seem to feel the butterflies in your stomach or the fire he has lit in your heart.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he confesses.

“And what would I be without you?”

Your head rests on his chest and he’s suddenly afraid you can hear his heart beating. You’re so beautiful, your tired eyes fighting sleep and your lashes fluttering. His shirt slipped off your shoulder as he held you in his arms and the permanent smile on your face makes him completely weak. He could kiss you right now. If only you were single.

“Let’s go to sleep, hm?” He caresses your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Together?” You cracked yet another smile.

“Together,” he grins from ear to ear.

Your arms find their way around his neck and you bend your head to make an implicit request. His hands go around your waist and below your knees before he stands up and carries you bridal style. You both laugh at the absurdity of the situation, but also blushed at the romantic gesture. He sets you down on (what his brain calls) your side of the bed and plants a kiss on your forehead.

He then goes through his nightly routine before coming back to you, wrapped in the covers, fast asleep. His heart is about to explode. Now that he is aware of his feelings, he is overwhelmed by the love he has been repressing. He slides in next to you and holds back from embracing you. And if you happen to get close and make your way into his arms, he’ll be delighted to hold you tight.

“Sleep well Starlight, I love you,” he mumbles, kissing your hair.

“I love you more Juyo.”

Waking up the next morning wasn’t as awkward as Juyeon might have thought after the pseudo-confession you heard. He woke up first when he felt you shift in his arms. Because yes, you ended up in his arms, face against his torso. He tried not to make a big deal out of it, calming his breathing and enjoying the warmth of your body. Absentmindedly, his hand caresses your tangled hair, smoothing it and slowly waking you from your slumber.

“Good morning Starlight,” he says, honey dripping from his hoarse voice. “Slept well?”

“Like a baby, you?” You yawned, looking up from his chest.

“Even better than a baby.” He doesn’t want to let you go, once you’re out of his bedroom he’ll have to go back to his little miserable life without your starlight to light it up.

“Shall we take you home? Your boyfriend might get impatient,” he laughs, remembering the events of the previous night.

“Well, he’ll have to wait until I’m full from breakfast! I know someone who makes pancakes to die for,” you winked as you get out of his clothes and disappear into the bathroom.

You know you said you’d be back before he wakes up, and you want to. You miss him. But being in Juyeon’s arms, feeling the regular beat of his heart, makes you feel at home. You don’t want to end what you both have now.

You eat breakfast in relatively silence, except when Juyeon tries to flip the pancakes in the frying pan only to have one stick to the wall. And you watch him adoringly from where you sit, trying to make up for his silliness.

In the end, you leave his apartment in no time at all, dreading your return to your own home. Even though you know that Sunwoo is patiently waiting for you. The last two days you spent with Juyeon were out of time, it was an enchanted interlude and the return to real life suddenly seems very difficult.

He drops you off in front of the building, not without kissing you on the cheek and saying goodbye for the last time. You try not to think of it as a date night as you head for the front door but he’s quick to say “We’re not done yet, you’ll see me more often now” he chimed as he watches you smile and gets in.

The smile doesn’t leave your face until you turn the key in the lock and come face to face with Sunwoo, smiling from head to toe. He takes you in his arms and spins you around before planting kisses all over your face.

“Sunny,” you giggled, “please.”

“But I missed you,” you press a kiss to his lips as he answers, and you feel him smile through it.

“I’m sorry I overreacted, you know I get scared easily, but I shouldn’t take it out on you when you haven’t done anything,” he apologised, bowing his head.

“No, it’s my fault too,” you shake your head. “We had a crazy night and when I woke up you were gone. I was also late and didn’t want to keep him waiting.”

“You know that I’m jealous of Juyeon, right? He might be your best friend, but he might see you as more than that. You can’t say you didn’t want him to wait, because what, you’re willing to make me wait like yesterday but not him? It’s unfair, because you always end up prioritising him.” He bellows, frustrated.

“Sunwoo please,” you begged. “Sunwoo, listen to me, please.” He takes a step back, feeling his anger rising.

“To say what? That you needed to be with him? That he needs you? Bullshit, look me in the eye and tell me he doesn’t have feelings for you!” He shouts in a pissed off rage.

He goes back into the living room and you follow him to see him pacing back and forth. You can tell he’s furious. He always gets angry when you mention Juyeon and it pisses you off. You can’t even spend a day with your best friend because he gets jealous? You’ve been together long enough to think he’s finally understood that he’s the one you love. But as displeased as you are, you’ll never stop telling him and reminding him that you love him. Because couples fight, because he’s insecure and because you care.

“You might as well develop feelings for him!” He spits vociferously.

“He broke up with his girlfriend and lost his job,” you drop, tired of this pointless battle. “So yes, he needed me. And yes, I needed to be with him. I feel like an absolutely shitty friend because I’ve been sitting in his company for weeks and I didn’t even notice that his heart was being broken to pieces. You can shout at me as much as you want Sunwoo, but you’re the one I love. Juyeon may need me again in the future and I’ll be there for him, but at the end of the day I love you and only you.”

“You’re lying. T-There’s no way he…“ He tries to take your hand but you step back, annoyed.

“Have I ever lie to you, Sunwoo?”

The sheepish and upset look on his face is enough to tell you that he’s blaming himself. So you lead him over to the sofa and tell him everything, from the break-up to his exhaustion, which means burnout, but leave out the private details. It’s a lot to take in, and you wonder if he’ll ever believe you. Why would you lie about something so important?

You love Sunwoo, you really do. But you can’t help but be a little irritated by his behaviour. You feel terrible for even thinking and feeling this way, but Juyeon is your best friend! What was wrong with that? What doesn’t he understand about the word “best friend”? You sighed as you take him in your arms and stroke his back, both to calm him down and to ease your own mind. You hold each other for a while, for as long as your hearts desire, but your minds wander to Juyeon. You miss him and you wonder what he’s up to, when you’ll see each other again. Another sigh escapes your lips and Sunwoo looks at you questioningly.

“Movie?” You ask, trying to divert your attention from Juyeon.

“It’s 11,” he chuckles, finally at peace.

“Yeah, so? We can order pizzas and spend the day at home?” You kiss his hand with doe eyes.

“Sounds like a fabulous idea,” he quickly grabs his phone to place an order, “same as usual?”

“I’m feeling adventurous today, so pick whatever you like!”

You hear your own phone buzzing as he focuses on the app again. And obviously it’s the boy of all the arguments, the one who’s been on your mind since you got home and who seems to be distracting you a lot.

Juyo <3 (1)

I miss ya, whatcha doing?

Thinking about u

That ain’t possible

Whyyyy

Because I’m thinking about you

“Who are you talking to with that smiley face?” Sunwoo asks, tilting his head.

“Changmin, he’s talking about the person he met and he seems so in love.”

It's a half-hearted lie, because Changmin told you about the person he recently met, but also because if you say Juyeon's name right now, civil war will break out.

Juyo <3

Oh yeah, prove it?

Seconds later, your phone rings with an incoming call from Juyeon.

Juyo <3

JUYEON YOU CAN’T DO THIS

YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

Aw pretty’s scared by a sudden phone call?

Actually…

You take a second to answer, pondering if it’s a good idea to tell him about your couple’s conflict. Especially when he’s the one causing it.

Juyo <3 (1)

Am I disturbing you?

You always turn my world upside down

Same goes for you Starlight ;)

So?

I had a fight with Sunwoo

Nothing bad, we already made up

But it’s becoming a recurring thing, and I hate it

Have you talked about it?

That it’s getting hard for you?

Yes and no

We always talk about it, set limits and make up but weeks later it’s as if the conversation never happened

As much as I love him I’m tired Ju

No, you don’t have the right to say you’re tired, because that would mean you’re ready to give up on your relationship for a few fights?

I’m afraid that’s not a valid reason

And I know you’re not the type to give up on someone you love

So take matters into your own hands, spend the day with him and make out ffs

Yeah, haha, you’re right

We’ll eat pizzas and watch a film, that’ll definitely help

And I’ll see if he’s nice enough to make out with him

I can be good for you instead ;)

Yah! You’re losing points Lee Juyeon!

I’m only aiming for the 10s sorry!

Right in the bull’s eye

Which is my heart yes

GTG JUYO

TTYL I LOVE YOU

And I love you more <3

You saw his message through the notification, which you cowardly rejected, but that didn’t stop you from smiling. The conversation had to end quickly, as you were venturing into uncharted territory that doesn't leave you impassive. Besides, Sunwoo was getting suspicious of your big smile.

And he’s right, because what the hell was that? You’re such a coward whose heart beats a hundred miles an hour. He’s definitely winning points, but you’ll never admit it, and to what end? Your heart doesn’t know yet.

On the contrary, Juyeon’s heart beats wildly at your bravery. He doesn’t want to flirt despite his growing feelings, but you leave the door open too wide for him not to come in.

You’re still his best friend, so if you ever need advice or a listening ear, he’ll be there. Like that horrible joke about making out, he hated it. But he knew that it would make you laugh and feel better, because he knows you better than anyone else.

So why can’t he read your feelings? You're not usually so cryptic for no reason, he's sure of that. Yet the changes in your heart can be seen gradually: your sweet words, as well as the ambiguous ones, all carry a special and deep meaning. You’re a book Juyeon is dying to read, but you’re not descriptive enough for him to decipher just yet.

Sunwoo used to read you easily, but he’s not sure of anything anymore. He knows that you love him, that your love language consists of words of affirmation and that you never stop reminding him of it. And yet his insecurities always get the best of him and you end up fighting. The truth is, he’s afraid. You’ve always spent a lot of time with Juyeon and that’s fair, you’ve known each other for almost ten years. But shouldn’t you make up for that time with your one-year boyfriend?

He knows he can’t restrict you or your outings, that would be a dick move and he’s not a dick. You have lots of boy friends and he’s okay with that, but Juyeon? Juyeon annoys him. He seems too perfect to be true: his looks, his gentle and romantic nature. He’s in a one-sided competition because Juyeon couldn’t care less. Or so he thought until now.

Halfway through the film, you're cuddled up in his arms, laughing, when his phone vibrates. Why on earth is Juyeon texting him?

Juyeon (1)

I just wanted to apologise for yesterday. This is not a valid reason, but I wanted to keep my best friend to myself for a while. I’m sorry if that hurt you.

Apology accepted. We’re adults and you’re defo not the one to blame but I appreciate it.

Thanks man

It cost Juyeon a lot to send that message. But in his place, he would have been furious if the situation had happened to him. So he toned it down, to ease the tension and make you feel better. But he’d do it again any time; anything to spend time with you.

And that’s exactly what happened in the weeks that followed.

You spent the whole week with Sunwoo after your meeting with Juyeon, going with him to his band rehearsals, shopping for clothes, accessories or window shopping, going on dates to the cinema, the park and restaurants. You did everything with him.

But that didn’t stop you from texting Juyeon every day. Sometimes he was the one who initiated the conversation, and other times you had to spam him to ask his opinion on the latest clothes you bought or because you missed him. Your weekly outings have also become two or three times a week, and you often meet up on his balcony for a night of dancing and drinks.

Everything is done with respect for your relationship, but you feel his hands on you longer than necessary, always within limits and sometimes in places that make you blush. For an example, he would place them on your hips, and you would be a fool to say that his little touches did not make your heart flutter. When he opens the door for you, when he orders for you without asking and never makes a mistake, or even when he gives you presents that you’ve looked at with envy. He’s so observant and attentive that causes butterflies in your stomach. The more time you spend with him, the more you can’t deny the attraction you feel.

He makes you feel like you are 16 again.

He kisses your forehead, cheek or hand when he drops you off. He holds your hand so you don’t get lost in the crowd. Even if it’s just an excuse, you let him because deep down you want him to.

And you hated yourself for it. You feel so guilty about Sunwoo. Yes, Juyeon may be a little more enterprising than usual, but he hasn’t changed his ways. You’re the one who reacts to harmless words and lazy touches. But your heart hasn’t changed. You love Sunwoo. Those feelings for Juyeon aren’t real. It is an attraction that arises because you spend all your time together, because he’s handsome and cares for you.

You’re not… in love with him.

Isn’t that right?

“Sweetheart, I bought fried chicken on the way home!” Sunwoo says one day after his rehearsal.

“Oh Sunny, you don’t know how much I’ve been craving it,” you clap, looking forward to devouring it. “Thank you.”

“Can I get a hug for being the most awesome boyfriend ever?” He asks sweetly.

“Oh you do,” you giggle, jumping into his arms.

“I love you,” he kisses your nose.

“Me too,” you reply, tiptoeing to kiss his forehead.

“Sunnyyyy,” you call out his name on a Friday afternoon. “Can I go out for the night with Kev, Minnie, Chani and Ju?”

“Sure! Don’t come back too late hm? And be careful.”

“Yes! I’ve got the four horsemen of the apocalypse to look after me and myself!” You laughed.

“Have fun Sweetheart, I love you,” he whispers, kissing your forehead.

“Me toooo Sunny,” you smiled.

And yet, as he does his best to be there for you, to shower you with love and care, you notice that your interactions are gradually diminishing. He’s not the problem but you are. Just like yesterday, you’ve been exchanging messages and at the end of all your conversations you have this cute habit of saying I love you. Except this time, you haven’t replied. You liked his message and replied with a heart.

But that’s not the only case, because you catch yourself not saying “I love you” back when you talk to him. Yet you’re still physically and intimately close. It’s as if you’re giving yourself to him in order to compensate for the emotional changes that you’re going through. And then what? You won’t even be able to kiss him? Hold his hand? Be intimate? You felt terrible, and this has been going on for months.

Perhaps the best (or worst) thing to do is to talk to him about it.

“Sunny? Can we talk?” You say out of the blue one morning.

“Yes baby, tell me?” He replies as he comes out of the bathroom, shirtless.

“Get dressed first,” you giggle.

“Why, don’t you like what you see?” He pouts, crossing his arms to emphasise his torso and you look away, ashamed to be turned on when you’re about to break his heart.

“Oh I do, but you’re distracting me from the point!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs as he pulls on a t-shirt, “is it better now?”

“Yes, thank you,” you sigh.

“Are you okay?” He asks suddenly, sensing your discomfort. “You know you can tell me anything, I’m here for you.”

“Sunwoo, I-“ you take his hand in yours for support. “You need to know that I love you, it has never changed and it will never change, the feelings I have for you are very much real and I cherish them as much as I cherish you.”

“You’re not breaking up, are you? Because I won’t let you.” His eyes are shining now and you want to go back in time. You want to erase everything that has happened in the last two and a half months, the growing romantic feelings and the hurt.

“Sunwoo, I’m not breaking up with you, you’re the person I care about the most in the world, I would never let you down. And I hate myself for what I’m about to say.” You take a deep breath and as you do you know he’s figured it out and tears start to roll down his sweet face.

“I- fell in love with Juyeon,” you drop your head in shame.

You don't have the courage to look up and see the disappointment on his face, but you force yourself to. And when you finally did, his reaction catches you by surprise. It was obviously pain and sorrow, but also resilience?

“May I ask, how?” His voice is low, almost a murmur, but his eyes search yours for the truth.

“I- don’t know, it just happened.”

“Come on, you don’t just fall in love with another man by accident,” he laughs sarcastically.

“And yet I did!” You raise your voice in annoyance. “I didn’t choose it Sunwoo. And I would go back in time if I could!”

He takes a minute to consider your words, to decide whether or not you’re telling the truth. You didn’t expect this conversation to be easy, but he doesn’t make it any easier for you. You expected him to be in denial, to yell at you and cry. Instead he went straight towards the acceptance stage and he had this heartless look on his face. You knew you deserved it because he’s right; you don’t fall in love with another man by chance.

“Does he know? That you-“ he struggles to find the words, but you let him, because it has been hard for you too. You’re in love with your best friend, and you’ve probably been in love with him since you were 16. “That you love him?”

“No, oh god no!” You panic, finally thinking of the consequences, “I wanted to tell you first because I love you and I owe you the truth.”

“But you intend to tell him?” He worries and suddenly you feel like you’re talking to your best friend, the same conversation you had before you started dating Sunwoo.

“No Sunwoo, it was never a question of telling him or not. Yes, I love Juyeon romantically, but you’re my boyfriend. And I’m not trying to fool myself by saying that I still love you, I love you. And I love Juyeon too, but I’m not going to do anything with it.”

“You’re silly,” he chuckles affectionately. “Within the two months since our fight, I’ve watched you for a long time baby. I observed your body movements, your facial expressions and your words, hoping that it was all temporary and that we’d come out of it stronger together. But all I saw was love, but towards someone else. You came home giddy, eyes full of stars. Sometimes even in a frenzy of exaltation from which I found it hard to pull you out, because knowing that you were happy made me happy. So I won’t say that I knew it, but I sensed it. And I know that you love me, I have never doubted it and I don’t doubt it now. But you love him silly. Perhaps even more than you love me. I’m not mad at you, I saw you falling for him, I just ignored the signs. And I know you didn’t choose it, nor did you want to break my heart. Your love for him is stronger and I can hear it. Thank you for telling me, it must have cost you a lot.”

You start to cry, because what else can you do but cry? You love him and it hurts you to hear him say that you love someone stronger. But he’s right. No matter how much you try to deny it, you love Juyeon unconditionally.

“Why,” you cry out.

“Why what baby,” he takes you in his arms, guiding your head in the crook of his neck and your tears start to soak his t-shirt.

“I’m pretty sure I broke your heart and stomped on it, so why aren’t you mad at me? Why are you taking it so well? I don’t understand. I feel like shit and you’re too perfect?”

“You have no idea of the pain, anger and emptiness I feel right now, I’m far from perfect,” his voice falters as he tries to hold back his tears, “but I can’t take it out on you, even though you deserve it, because you didn’t want it? Also because I didn’t speak when I realised you were drifting away. I know you blame yourself, and yes, I am heartbroken, I can’t wait to cry but I don’t want to make you sadder than you already are.”

“I don’t deserve you Sunny, I’m sorry, I love you to the moon and back,” you smile shyly.

“And I love you just as much, thank you for the love that doesn’t make me feel lonely,” he smiles back as he rubs your back in slow motions. “Can I kiss you? One last time?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

When his lips touch yours, it has never felt better. The kiss is a little salty because you have both been crying, but also sweet. It is your last kiss and you devour each other’s lips as if it were the first, not wanting to part. You quickly run out of air, but he presses his lips to yours to convey his feelings one last time and you smile, knowingly, as you kiss him back.

“You should go to him,” he says, lips swollen and eyes puffy.

“Yes, to be with my best friend. And you should call Eric for the same reason,” you sobbed, and he giggles.

“Coward,” he laughs, “but I will.”

“And Sunwoo,” you start again. “I would never do anything without your approval.”

“Thank you,” he replies, touched and aware of the feelings you will always have for him. “For everything, but especially for being with me.”

“I should be the one thanking you, my lifesaver,” you kissed his cheek as you take his hand in yours. “Let’s remain good friends, in the future.”

“Absolutely, if I ever get over you,” he laughs in a reassuring way.

You know that the joke is just his way of breaking the tension, so you laugh it off, saying that he should, and you imitated a knife at your throat as a warning, which makes him laugh heartily. Then, your heart sinks at the sound of you no longer being the recipient. Yes you fell in love with someone else, and it will be just as hard to get over him. But you have Juyeon, and he’s your rock.

Juyo <3

Juyo can I come over?

Sure, is something wrong?

These three words are enough to turn your heart upside down. He’s always been thoughtful, and now that you’ve accepted your feelings, you feel butterflies swirling in your tummy.

Juyo <3

Sunwoo and I broke up

I’ll pick you up in 5

Yes pls, drive safely

He pulls up in the parking lot exactly 5 minutes after his message, just like he said. You rush down the stairs, too eager to melt into his arms to wait for the lift. He doesn’t have time to get out of the car before you throw yourself on him, crying. Tears of separation and heartbreak, and tears of joy when you see him again because you know you love him.

“I’m here,” he whispers in a panicked voice, probably not expecting you so soon and in such a state. “I’m right here, let it out.”

And you do, the feelings you’ve been burying for 2 months are just waiting to be expressed. You cry until your body aches from lack of air and your eyes are dry. Finally, you shiver and regret having gone out so quickly without covering up. But Juyeon is just as quick to pull the jacket he was wearing over your shoulders and you hum happily as his scent washes over you.

“Let’s go home?” He caresses your hair tenderly.

You’re amazed that he doesn’t ask any questions, he just stands by you and supports you through this difficult ordeal that he knows only too well. And the truth is, he’s even sad for you. No matter how much he loves you, you’re the definition of love to him. For you to break up with Sunwoo, for whatever reason, doesn’t make any sense. It’s not his place to ask if you don’t tell him first, so he just holds your hand on the way back, and when he has to let go to change gear, he makes sure he puts it back on your thigh.

This makes you blush like a tomato, how dare he put his big hand on your thigh, almost completely covering it whole. You’re pretty sure your feelings are written all over your face, but he mistakes your blushing for embarrassment, when in fact it’s just romantic stimulation. You look up to see if his hand placement has any effect on him, only to find that he is blushing as well. Being as dense as he is, you mistook his shyness for embarrassment.

You two definitely make quite the pair.

“Make yourself at home Starlight,” he says as he opens the front door, never stopping to hold your hand.

You step inside as he tells you to and try to take off your shoes, planning to curl up on the sofa under the blanket while you wait for him and his hugs. But he had other ideas as he grabs your wrist to pull you closer, pinning you between him and the newly closed front door. Your surprise translates into a gasp that becomes a choke as he drops to one knee. Your heart pounds in your chest at the way he looks at you, worshipping you. Without warning, he bends down to untie your shoelaces, still smiling and even a little mischievous.

“What?” He smiles proudly. “Can’t I look after my Starlight?”

You open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out, too surprised by his playful tone.

“Cat got your tongue?” He sticks out his tongue as he stands up.

“Yes, you got it!” You slap him gently as a reward for nervousness.

“Not in my mouth though…” He whispers so quietly you almost don’t hear it, and that earns him another slap, only he steps back to avoid your blow and you stumble and fall on top of him.

“I guess it will be easier to carry you now,” he chuckles, kissing your forehead.

He puts his arms under your knees and around your waist and you squeal as he lifts you up, bridal style. This man will be the death of you. Oh, how you would kiss him if you weren’t so heartbroken and hadn’t just broken up. And he would kiss you just as much. You’re both madly in love and it shows.

He wraps you in a blanket as he lays you down on the sofa before kissing your forehead for the umpteenth time. Then he goes into the kitchen and fetches your favourite foods, drinks and desserts, which he sets out on the coffee table. You were surprised by the homemade dishes, as if he’d made them with a special purpose in mind. But he doesn’t say a word or make a comment, he just slips under your blanket when he’s done and hugs you, breathing in your scent.

You stay in each other’s arms for a while, not saying a word, just enjoying your hearts beating in unison. It feels heavenly, relaxing and you can almost feel yourself coming back to life. If Sunwoo was your lifesaver, Juyeon is your guardian angel. He is always looking out for you and giving you his utmost special care, just like right now, for no particular reason (even if there is one now).

He doesn’t pry, he just waits for you to speak while he grabs the remote to put on the latest show you’ve started together and feeds you. You’re quite grateful for the little comments he makes during the show, distracting you from the truth: the burning love you have for him that consumes you. In the end, you tell him that you still love Sunwoo, but that your recent incessant arguments have taken their toll on you.

That, against all odds, you’ve spilt up properly. And that it will be a while before you move on, but that the door is not closed. You made sure to emphasise this part, because what if there’s a small chance that Sunwoo was right and Juyeon is a fool in love with you? You’re not ready yet, but when the time comes, you want to confess your love to him and live out the childhood romance you’ve always dreamed of, until death do you part.

The next few of weeks passed in a blur, and you have basically settled into Juyeon’s apartment – going back and forth to your house to pick up your things and put them in his closets. Your shoes sits nicely in the new shoe rack he bought for you to go out together, and your toothbrush sits proudly next to Juyeon’s. You even have matching ones. Oh, and Juyeon can finally happily say that you’ve got your side of the bed, with your cute belongings on the bedside table and a picture of the two of you at 16 in a frame.

In fact, you slowly become a domestic couple-like going grocery shopping together and going on so-called dates. Life with Juyeon is easy. Whether you go out at dawn or dusk, he’s always with you, matching your pace and holding your hand from the streetlights to the dancing starlight. When you saw your hands touching and your steps overlapping, it reminds you of your first encounter and the fluttering of your heart. How you shyly looked at him, only to see him already looking at you lovingly, red on his cheeks. That cold winter you spent together was actually the warmest moment of Juyeon’s life, and that day might have been the day you hid a present for each other in your sleeve.

Even more slowly, your relationship with Juyeon develops as the months go by. It was hard not for it to blossom, considering the fact that you live together and that you absolutely do everything together, but it’s happening. Juyeon has started to walk around bare chest when he gets out of the shower and sometimes! He even goes to bed naked, with just his pyjama pants hanging low on his hips.

Of course, you get to snuggle up against his warm chest and cuddle to sleep. When it comes to sleeping, you don’t even try to fall asleep on your own side of the bed anymore because you always wake up in each other’s arms. You have definitely grown closer and closer in just a few months.

Your touches with one another have become more sensual and romantic and your words more flirtatious. You wear his clothes more often than usual, sometimes getting out of bed in just his t-shirt and underwear, awakening certain feelings within him. From time to time, he dares to put his hands under your (his) t-shirt and kiss your forehead tenderly, for lack of being able to kiss your lips sensually and make you his, right when you wake up.

“All pretty for me hm?” He said the first time you went to sleep in this garment. “You know I’m just a man.”

And if you sat on his hips to cuddle him afterwards, maybe the message got through. Maybe a little too much, given that a few minutes later he pretended to be in a hurry and the water ran for a long time. He’s just a man.

Yes, your man.

Another time, when you were out shopping at the mall, people addressed you as a couple and you didn’t mind, oh no. Perhaps it was the smiley eye contact you made, or the way he held you in his arms and you leaned into him, almost as if you were going to kiss, that gave it away. At least, that’s what gave Sunwoo, who was watching you nearby, the courage to send you a message.

Woo ☼ (1)

Hi, hello! I saw you at the mall with Juyeon, can we talk? I’m with Changmin, we can ditch them together?

Hi Sunny!!! Sure we can, the cafe nearby?

Juyeon was a little reluctant to leave you alone with Sunwoo due to the countless nights you spent crying and the difficulty you had opening up (not to mention your blossoming love for Juyeon) but he quickly gave up because he knew you wanted it and he was happy to spend time with Changmin. Juyeon is the love of your life and you can’t pretend that he isn’t anymore.

“Hi Sweetheart, I saw you left your shopping bags with your man,” he laughs and you kick him under the table so as not to draw attention to yourself.

“Stop that Kim Sunwoo!” You whine.

“Stop what? Calling you sweetheart or calling him your man?”

“Both!” You laugh embarrassed and shy.

“How are you?” He changes the subject after one last laugh and you’re happy to see that he hasn’t changed, he’s still as playful and lively as ever.

“I’m fine, nothing has really changed since our last messages. I told you I got my dream job, so Juyeon and I are treating ourselves with my first salary. Oh, and Juyeon has also found a new job he’s really enjoying. Hence, the reason why we’re out shopping.” You went on to rave about your everyday life, happy to share this new chapter with him, whom you still love very much, just not romantically anymore.

“You must love him a lot,” he says softly, almost as if he were muttering to himself. “It’s cute, you’re cute, I’m happy for you.” And you don’t answer, curious to hear what he’s going to say next.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past six months,” he begins. “Thank you for always reaching out to me and not ghosting me despite the break-up, it meant a lot to me. Being away from you has been hard. I will not lie. But it also taught me that I was too dependent on you and it felt great to spend time by myself and with our friends. I got news from them and saw that you were doing well, as anyone going through a break-up would be. And it made me realise that, if you were fine, I should be fine, even if it was just a facade, that somehow the sadness would pass.”

You nod to let him know you’re listening and that you’re on the same wavelength as him.

“And it did,” he whispers almost happily, as if the weight he was carrying close to his heart has been lifted. “I thought I would love you for the rest of my life, but then I met someone.” You gasp at his words and tear up a little.

“It came as a blessing, without me even looking for it, and I can say that I’m happy now. So when I saw you so happy on Juyeon’s arm, looking at him lovingly like he hung the stars in the sky I thought: “Ah, you’re really on cloud nine with him”. I shouldn’t hold you back from your happiness. You have my blessing, not that you need it but date him, kiss him, make love and live happily ever after.” To emphasise his words, he squeezes your hand which he has started to hold somewhere in his monologue, and kisses it.

You swear you didn’t want to cry, and Juyeon will probably be worried to see your swollen eyes, but how can you remain impassive in the face of so much love? It’s true, you held back and would have kissed Juyeon if it wasn’t for Sunwoo. But now you’ll both be happy.

You chatted for quite a while, enjoying your reunion as friends, learning more about the person he had met and ranting about your life with Juyeon, when he appeared before you with Changmin, impatient to get you back. You missed him. How did you manage to live without Juyeon so far? Ecstatic, you jump into his arms and bid your goodbyes promising to meet again soon. As you walk away, Juyeon’s phone beeps and he just shrugs at the message in his inbox with a smile. Then he ruffles your hair, earning a pout from you that he kisses away at the corner of your lips. You wonder what the message was, but the kiss is definitely more important.

Sunwoo (1)

I’ve seen the way you look at each other, it’s full of love. Give it a shot!

Yes, there will be many more kisses now.

And here you are today, on Juyeon’s couch, enjoying your home date for the tenth anniversary of your friendship, with Sunwoo’s blessing in the back of your mind. You spent the day cooking together, sweet and savoury, having fun with the shapes of the cakes and pizzas (hearts and dicks like the children you are), playing games, dancing and listening to music in a good-natured atmosphere.

Today’s a day to celebrate your friendship. Yes friendship, when all you want to do is kiss him senseless. Maybe confessing today is not such a bad idea. Especially when you see him coming out of the shower in all his glory, beads of water running down his naked torso, hair tousled and wet, tongue running over his lips sensuously as he looks you straight in the eye, ready to pounce on you. Oh, and, his cinnamoroll pyjama pants, low on his hips and revealing the Apollo belt of his abs, make you smile as much as it turns you on.

Juyeon takes his place between your legs, smiling, his hot muscular back resting on your chest as he lays his head back on your shoulder, dampening your matching melody pyjamas. He chuckles as he turns his head to see you gawping. His big veiny hand that had been squeezing your thigh flies to your cheek, turning your flushed face towards him so he can kiss the pout at the corner of your lips. His beautiful lips linger a little longer on your neck, but you welcome his touch with open arms and lean into his embrace.

His eyes are full of stars when he rises from your embrace to grab the remote and turn on your series. But he remains seated between your legs, unconsciously resting a hand on your knee to preserve the intimacy you’re so immersed in. You help him on with his t-shirt, not without kissing his shoulder first, making him shiver. And your hands take the opportunity to wander down his torso to his waist, making him smirk as well. You become more and more adventurous, he loves it and can’t wait to run his lips all over your body, discovering all of it.

You place a kiss on the crown on his hair and when you notice that it’s already dry, an idea crosses your mind. Juyeon’s focus is back on the show, so much so that he can barely feel your hands playing with his hair. You give him a rather pleasant massage, moving down to the small of his chest, across his neck and up into his hair, twisting it between your fingers.

“How does it feel?” You murmured in a hushed tone.

“Heavenly,” he moans.

The tension is palpable as you continue your services, your hearts beating wildly, almost as one. He takes one of your hands in his to kiss it, the attention making you blush, before replacing it in his hair and nodding for you to continue. So you undertake one of the most romantic acts of love in your eyes, braiding his hair. Strand by strand, your fingers caress the edges of his face. The braids come undone as quickly as they are made, but he smiles broadly as he touches them, feeling butterflies in his stomach and his heart beating erratically.

“I could see our everyday life like this,” you whisper in his ear. “Together.”

Juyeon, who had been purring at your display of affection, becomes still when he hears your words. He slowly turns to face you with the most charming smile and tenderly takes your hand to place it on his chest, where his heart burns with love. The fire in his eyes burns inexorably, lighting up his already sunny face, unable to leave him. You’re captivated by this intensity and he doesn’t look away, also in love with your sparkling eyes, even when he reaches out to grab a little box that has always been right in front of your eyes. Yes, his love has always been on display. You were just too slow to catch on.

But you get it now. You’re two fools in love.

“You know how our youth is filled with each other’s names?” He says, voice a little hoarse and heart beating fast under your palm. “Well, my heart has never changed, I’ve always wanted to be with you. You are my breath of fresh air, the warmth that keeps me going through the winter, and the words I’m about to tell you will never melt away. My everything is all about you, it has always been about you.” He pauses to take a deep breath and kisses the palm of your hand, which he then links with his own, intertwining your fingers.

“I love you,” he sighs with love and happiness. “I love you so much that I was reading my destiny inside your eyes without even knowing it.” The flame of love he has carried all these years dances in his eyes, making him irresistible and captivating. Your heart is pounding in your chest as you wait for his question, palpitations he feels through your bound hands.

“Would you be mine?” His gaze, dropping to your lips then back to your eyes, is determined as he opens the velvet box to reveal two rings. Not just any rings, the matching promise rings to the bracelets you bought months ago. The ones on your wrists that you’ve never taken off.

As if on cue, as a sign of future commitment, he kisses your left ring finger and places the ring on your right with such tenderness that you almost cry. No, you’re pretty sure tears are rolling down your face because he puts his thumb under your eyes to gently wipe away the tears and kisses the salty drops that have run down your cheeks, close to your lips. With that, you mirror his actions by kissing the ring, his left ring finger and placing it on his right finger with a dazzling smile, as an unspeakable promise – that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together.

“I have always been yours. I love you Juyeon, so much that I’m going crazy.”

Even now, after confessing his feelings and hearing yours, he remains respectful and lets you make the first move with a victorious smile. You grin, feeling the cool material of the ring on your cheek as he cups your face in his hand, reminding you that this is all real and that he loves you.

And he does.

So you finally lean in, closing the gap between you to rest your lips on his. It was meant to be a soft and quick peck, but he captures your body and deepens the kiss, years of longing and wanting not to be wasted, leaving you breathless. His lips search yours every time you pull away, not wanting to let go, intoxicated by your lips and this new closeness. If you spend the rest of the evening making out and exploring each other, no one will say a word. Not even your neighbours.

Ah, you’ve never been in love and wanted to be with anyone as much as you do with him, and this since you were 16.

#tulips : to read.#reblogging this for later

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minbulas · 1 year ago

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Teach Me How To Love | Kim Sunwoo

summary: the campus heartthrob whom you've had a crush on for the longest time finally asks you out on a date. since you have never been on a date before, you decided to elicit the help of your best friend, Kim Sunwoo, for some romantic advice.

pairing: f!ckboy Sunwoo x g.n!reader

genre: suggestive

warnings: kissing, making out with the one and only Kim Sunwoo

word count: 2,251

a/n: this is... umm yeah. (i'm still learning and new to writing suggestive so pls bear with me lmao 😭)

"He asked me out."

"Asked who now?"

"He asked me out, Yuna!!" You grabbed the shoulders of your best friend, shaking them vigorously.

That was when the sudden realisation hit your friend, and she formed an 'o' from her mouth, knowing whom exactly you were referring to.

You have had the biggest crush on Lee Hyunjae since your freshman year. Of course, who wouldn't be? He is literally the heartthrob of your campus. Everyone, including yourself, would do anything to get the man's attention. Even a smile or the slightest moment he turns straight in your direction works either way.

It wasn't in your third senior year that you got to pair up with the infamous man in one of your science classes. Biology. How fun.

Your lecturer chose you both to be lab partners throughout the semester, and that was when you had a legitimate conversation with the man himself. Oh, how you were so nervous back then, rubbing your palms together almost every minute, ducking your head down because you were too shy to look straight into the man's eyes.

However, his calming and friendly persona broke off that wall between you two almost immediately and little did you know, the both of you hit off as good friends. You both started hanging out casually, even after classes, seemingly bumping into one another in the hallway lockers.

In other words, you were whipped for the man, and when he finally asked you out, you immediately accepted the offer.

If you were like the rest, you would've felt happy, even excited, to be going on a date with your long-time crush. You, on the other hand, felt the opposite. You were panicking, nervous, and terrified of what was to come.

Your friend, Yuna, clearly notices your demeanour and proceeds to interrogate you on what's the matter, and that is when you let out the most inner thoughts of yours that have been bugging you for the longest time.

Clearly, you had zero to no skills on what to do when you're out on your first date. You've seen in hundreds of films and read many rom-com books how holding hands is the least you could do on the first date, to having a passionate kiss if both sides were up for it.

You were stressed out and had to do something to calm your nervousness. That was when a lightbulb dings right in your friend's mind, and she knew precisely the solution to your problem.

"I dare you to elicit some help from Sunwoo."

You paused. Sunwoo? Kim Sunwoo? Your childhood best friend?

You were confused at the beginning as to why she would even bring him up in the first place. But as you connect the dots, the sudden realisation hits you.

Kim Sunwoo. You both have practically grown up together since kindergarten, and you are still neighbours to this day. He was the one friend who has always stood by your side from the start, no matter how messed up or crazy your situation might be. He was also the person you'd always rant to, and he'd be more than happy to comfort you if that meant for you to feel better.

How close were the both of you? Well, close enough that you both have determined that every Friday of the week is a movie night in his apartment that he just recently signed the lease to at the start of the year. You'd both always get the cosiest blankets and drape them over you both while seemingly cuddling with one another to enjoy the films with Sunwoo's handy-dandy mini projector that he bought for a pretty reasonable price on Amazon.

Although there was one problem, your best friend is actually the f!ckboy of the campus.

It did not start out this way, though. Neither of you knew what snapped in Sunwoo's mind. Your only guess was that he was enjoying adulthood to the fullest and getting used to university life. After attending several frat parties, having a little too much to drink and eventually hooking up with so many different women, it was too late for the male to turn back.

You never judged him for that. It was fine by you since he still considers you to be his best friend, and you both technically still hang out with one another once every week.

So being the f!ckboy, he knew all of the necessary basics and tricks on how one should act around their partner, especially on the first date.

Right?

So here you were, standing right outside Sunwoo's apartment door.

You contemplated on even knocking on the door, for you knew it wasn't even a Friday; it was a Tuesday, to be exact. And god knows whoever he is making out with on the other side.

Because as far as you know, he was pretty “active” throughout the week except for the day you get to hang out with him.

You paused. You kept bringing your hand up to the door and then down. Your mind was literally at a tug-of-war at this point.

To do it? Or not to do it.

Eventually, you huffed and returned your hands to the door until it swung open and bumped you on your forehead.

A woman dressed in a periwinkle lace spaghetti strap sleepwear with a grey jacket draped across her shoulders noticed your presence. She immediately got you up on your knees, constantly apologising and asking if you were alright.

You knew that grey jacket. It belonged to Sunwoo. And it was the same exact one that you always got to wear whenever you came over because you liked how it always made you feel warm and comfortable.

But you have to brush the thoughts off immediately. Sunwoo is a f!ckboy for goodness sake, and these things are practically an everyday thing to do for the guy.

Just as you were about to reassure the woman that you were okay, a head popped out of the door, and it was the guy you just had in mind.

"Care to explain the sudden purpose of the visit, my friend?" Sunwoo asks while he makes a warm mug of hot cocoa in the kitchen.

While you sat at the kitchen counter, you contemplated for a while before finally telling him how the campus heartthrob had finally asked you out on the first date.

And how you actually came to elicit his help and advice.

It took a while for Sunwoo to process the message, and he burst out in laughter once he got it. In return, you started throwing daggers through your eyes right at him as you scowled at the man.

"I'm sorry, but this is just too funny for me." He continued laughing while placing the ready-made hot cocoa onto the countertop.

You pout. "And I thought you'd actually help a best friend out."

"Okay, okay, I would do anything for my bestie. So tell me-". He slips right into the chair beside you while plopping one of his arms onto the countertop, resting his face on his palm as he stares deep into your eyes. “What do you exactly need my help with?”

"I don't know. Teach me how to kiss, flirt, and all that jazz, I guess." You shrugged, hoping that he clearly gets the message that you're in dire need of some basic love lessons to please your date.

The man moves a few inches closer to you now, close enough that you feel his breath. He was studying your face intensely as if some sort of dirt or dust was sitting somewhere at the top of your face. He then suddenly backs away immediately, giving you a hesitant look.

"Are you sure, Y/N? That you want to do this?" Sunwoo asked with a serious tone, which was unusual for you since you were used to seeing the goofy side of him. But if he were to ask in such a manner, you knew that he wasn't joking around.

"You do know that if you want me to teach you how to kiss, we literally have to kiss one another, right?"

Oh.

You were new to all of this. Hell, you have never kissed anyone in your entire lifetime. And now, you were about to give your first not to your lover but to your best friend. It all comes down to whether you are willing to do it.

Kissing Sunwoo also meant he would give you an actual physical demonstration of the different ways to kiss or even make out with one another, which may include some physical touches on certain parts of one another's body.

"Yes, Sunwoo. You have my consent." You replied nonchalantly, anticipating whatever move he would put up with you.

But the man was still frozen in his seat, not moving an inch. "I don't know, Y/N. Are you sure this won't, you know, get weird between us? I care a lot about you, and I do not want something like this to ruin the relationship we've built over the years."

You could see where the man was coming from because this was the main reason you were contemplating even stepping into his apartment for this crazy love lesson situation.

However, it was now or never. And if this was all for your first date with your long-term crush, you're down for it.

"Yes. One hundred percent."

Like that, Sunwoo's facial expressions shifted as he licked his plumped lips. He then snakes one of his free arms around your waist as he inches closer.

"Tell me when you want to stop."

Before you knew it, he closed the space between you, and both lips were now against one another.

Holy shit. You are literally kissing your best friend now.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you moved one arm around his neck while the other moved up into his hair.

God, his hair felt so soft.

Sunwoo chuckled between the kisses. "Look at you go, Y/N."

He pulled away briefly, only to whisper in your ear. "I had no idea you tasted this good, baby."

Leaning back in, he began kissing you passionately, and eventually, it became a hot mess. His lips began searching other areas to nibble on, starting from your earlobe and then down to your neck, where he began to suck. In return, you elicit a soft moan which sounded way too sweet to his ears.

You were floating, and damn, did it feel so good.

Sunwoo seemingly slipped one of his hands under your shirt, earning a gasp from you.

"Sunwoo-" You gasped, trying to catch your breath. "Aren't you—supposed to go step-by-step?"

Sunwoo smirked against your jaw as he gently brushed his lips against your soft milky skin. "Baby, sometimes things just go with the flow."

While he rests his face on the crook of your neck, his hands are now down to your thighs, rubbing them gently. "Wrap your legs around my waist, and jump."

You were stunned. "J-jump? What are you even-"

"Trust me, Y/N. I'll catch you if that's what you're worried about."

"You won't drop me, right?"

He chuckled. "Only a fool would drop a person like you."

With your legs wrapped around him, he carries you towards his bedroom, slowly laying you on his bed.

This is dangerous. And this is all so wrong.

You only came to ask for advice on how to kiss your crush, not to have a steamy make-out with your teacher in question, Kim Sunwoo.

But why did all of these feel so good? Why couldn't you say stop? In fact, you wanted more. You wished that all of these would not stop and that you'd be down to continue with the man himself.

So many thoughts were going through your mind as you reminded yourself of the true purpose of your visit, your campus heartthrob. But you knew you are so screwed at this point, and there’s no turning back anymore.

Both of you deepen the kiss, and Sunwoo’s tongue slips right into yours, exploring your mouth. In return, your soft whimpers eventually turned into pleasurable moans to the man himself.

God, Sunwoo. Give me more. Give me-

And then it all came to a halt. Sunwoo backed away, leaving you both to catch your breath as he stood up from his bed.

“I think. We are done for the day.”

Just as you were about to ask him why he even stopped in the first place, you were cut off by the man's quick response, also seemingly turning his flushed face towards the side.

“I’ve taught you more than enough to please your date.” Clearing his throat, he helps you to get back up on your feet.

“Oh- um… yeah. You know, thanks Sunwoo. For everything.”

As he escorts you towards the front door, that familiar soft bubbly smile that you were accustomed to is plastered on his face. “All the best with Hyunjae. I look forward to our next movie night, Y/N.”

“Ye-yeah!! I’ll keep you updated. Good night, Sunwoo.”

As you turned your heel and headed toward your apartment, Sunwoo immediately slammed the door shut once you were out of sight.

His back now rests against the door, and he tries to calm his fast-beating heart down.

It was then he realised that kissing you felt entirely different from all the other women he had ever made out with.

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @flwoie @hokupi @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics (join my permanent taglist here!)

#heart : the boyz.#love : kim sunwoo.#ally ally ally... i can't explain how i feel now #i want him like i Crave him im not even kidding #THIS WAS SO HOT BUDDY IT TOOK MY BREATH AWAY FOR A MOMENT #MY BELLY WAS FILED WITH BUTTERFLIES IM DOWN ON MY KNEES #need to be kissed by the one and only kim sunwoo like please aha i dont know how to kiss suddenly oh no unfortunately he need to teach me #aha what a coincidence! i forgot everything!#HE'S SO HOT IM NOT KIDDINGG'GKFKD #im melting like a ice cream under a summer sun #on my knees crying holding my knees #AAAAJDKDKSKEKZZ #probably one of my fav writing #might need a part two tho.. js saying^_^#'teach me how to love' more like teach me how to lose my goddamn mind

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minbulas · 1 year ago

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daily texts with bf hyunjae!

a/n: @hcuyk i’m so sorry for not getting these out until now :(( i had them completely written but there were like three texts that were getting on my nerves and i didn’t know how to fix them until now. hopefully you like them tho !! 🫶🏻 hyunjae’s always here for you,,,even in the form of rp

#heart : the boyz.#love : lee hyunjae.#no because emma #i was reading this and i was like “this is totally hyunvae coded” and you can't tell me #it's not true because i genuinely feel like vae could TOTALLY talk like that to him #she would say and react exactly the same way #hyunjae is really her man dude 😭😭😭#but anyway i just!!!! love those little texts you wrote #i love the vibe and i must admit #it made me kicking my feet like a schoolgirl.#PLEZSE. do more of this i want to keep hyping you >:)#it's matty btw!#I LOVE YOU ALWAYS YOU'RE RHE BEST

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minbulas · 1 year ago

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ISA LANG ୨୧ PARK JONGSEONG ˒ JAY

purpose born to be niki coded, transformed into arthur nery coded ・ gender neutral reader + word count 857 genre fluff .. best friends au warnings mention of food note i swear this is based on a dialogue prompt but i forgot the user — return to the academy

jay wasn’t made for late nights.

as much as he doesn’t want to stir guilt within his best friend, he struggles to conceal the symptoms. swallowed by his wrinkled hoodie, he curls his tired figure against the headboard. the light hum of the air conditioning can’t conceal the yawns that falter from his lips every now and then.

through half-lidded eyes, he watches you huff one more time during your battle with your phone. jay may be sleepy, but he hasn’t breached the line between reality and fantasy. how could he when you’re so eager to show him something?

apparently you’d finally taken the near-full storage warning seriously and begun your trip down memory lane. it wasn’t the easiest task to fulfill, but for the integrity of your phone’s health (and future mementos that you were definitely going to earn), it was about time. besides, it’d brought you back to this elusive picture—that had sunk into the trenches of your gallery once more because you forgot that making a folder or saving it in favorites exist—that jay was just a little eager to see.

the bespectacled male’s frames hang on the precipice right when you exclaim, “here, finally found it!”

it’s almost comical how quickly he sits up the moment the announcement comes. he doesn’t like the taste of caffeine during hours like this, yet he absorbs the side effects of your excitement so eagerly. of course, he’ll always defend himself by claiming the circumstances are different—you’re different.

shuffling closer until he can feel your warmth—and smell your apple-cinnamon scented fabric softener—pressed next to him, he looks down at your phone screen. truthfully, and with little thoughts he had during the passing hour, he’d expected to see a picture of from a special occasion, your friends and family. if he had to stretch a little, perhaps a picture of your ex who triggered some sirens in his mind.

(only god, and his other best friends, know how relieved he was to learn that his radar weren’t far off. that, and you had believed him even when he himself was doubting his own instincts. he saved you a chapter of migraines and arguments.)

but no, he was actually staring at himself. well, his past self, but still him—park jay. your partner in crime, go-to consultant for a variety of matters (specializing in both look and cook books), best friend for this life and the following ones.

and he doesn’t even try to hide his confusion. “that’s.. me.”

“obviously,” you laugh, unintentionally drawing more invisible question marks over his head. “see, that’s one of the ways i knew you had fallen so deep into that conversation. i’d also forgotten to turn off the shutter sound at the time, but you didn’t flinch.”

as intently as he stares at the photo, jay can’t recall this moment in particular. he still owns that denim jacket, but it’s been a while since he’s seen those natural mocha tresses. his jaw’s a little sharper, but his eyes retain that soft edge you claim he possesses. with so many contrasts, it throws him off the timeline. but it’s not like he keeps track of things he himself says anyway, so he doubts he’ll remember without a refresher.

“wait, pause right there.. what was i talking about?”

“i can’t remember either.”

..that felt like the antonym of what he was looking for.

obviously amused by jay’s bewildered expression, you decide to throw him a stem. “i don’t think i was even part of the conversation in the first place. we were at jake’s birthday party, yet you, him, and sunghoon seemed to forget about that since the three of you were mostly glued to the living room. if heeseung hadn’t called you guys over so the birthday boy could blow out the candles, we would have cut the cake already.”

oh that; jay can remember that part. it’s not that he has favorites you’re his number one but when he and his fellow liner friends land in the same space and time, they’re bound to talk as if they haven’t seen each other in years. ironic, since he’s pretty sure they were just chatting on discord about their genshin pulls a few hours before the party, but he digresses.

“right, but still, what’s up with this picture? was it just a random snap for your photo dump?” he asks, more curious than anything else; definitely more than tired.

“i just really liked how passionate you seemed to be in that moment. you were so.. expressive, i guess? like, even if i had no idea what you were talking about, i could tell that it meant a lot to you. and then you’d do these small gestures to paint a more clear picture for the two, even add some silly sound effects to the moves. our other friends would smile or even chuckle over how enthusiastic you sounded before returning to their conversations, whereas i was pretty much stuck watching you go on and on.”

“sounds like i had you wrapped around my finger then.” he jests, lighthearted words complemented by the slight curve of his rosy lips.

you play along; rolling your eyes like it hurt to admit it. “i mean you’re not that far off. god, i almost fell in love with you then.”

god, he wish you had.

🎐 .. @stealanity @strxwberry-skiess @sohnric @sanaxo-o + send an ask to be added!

QUAISSANTS, 2024. do not steal or else i bite.

#heart : enhypen.#love : jay.#naurrr because this is adorable #subtil yet so soft and beautifully written #i love how reader talks about jay like he's the center of their world like he's so precious like a star in the sky #i missed you work sm 💔 so glad to read this right now #the way i can imagine perfectly his reactions because of the precise way you describe them #it's amazing i don't know what else to say expect that i liked that litte writing of yourse :(#can jay be my best friend too like i need him im not kidding #wait no i want sunghoon as a best friend #so i could fight him and torture him (kindly of course)#alright let's do this #jay's your best friend and sunghoon's mine #we're going to make life impossible for them 👊🏻

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minbulas · 1 year ago

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𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦 | 𝟬𝟭 : 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗔𝗗𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘

SYNOPSIS | 02 : THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Author’s Note: The following chapter will be where the misery starts but I wanted to build character and friendship dynamics here first. Updates won't be as frequent (because of one word: life) but I have pre-written a lot for this drama already so I'll see this work to the end! Hopefully this is enjoyable so far, and feel free to let me know what you think (or what you want to see in future chapters)! Until next time! ♡

"THE INNOCENT CIVILIANS HAVE LOST, AND THE MAFIA WON!"

Your heavy palpebrae that moments earlier masked your vision in dimness, adorned with a trace of gentle sleepiness, slowly flutters open at the announcement, eyes emerging from the veil of unconsciousness. Finding yourself awakening with an overwhelming and unshakeable wave of trepidation washing over you, your chest tightens in palpable distress. The heaviness pales no less in comparison to the weight of an anvil sinking down atop your sternum, lungs punctured by bowed bones.

You sit there in a state of unease, mind racing with apprehension and discomposure, searching for answers to the troubling sensation coursing through your body. The sense of foreboding grips your heart tightly like an invisible vice, leaving you breathless and unable to shake off the unwanted feeling.

In a haste, you slide open the window beside you, the glass screeching against rubber weatherstrips expanded by scorching summer heat. Through the humidity, a light breeze brushes past, breathing air and life back into you. It's not hard to recognize the way your subconscious whispers insistently that something is amiss, the combination of uncertainty and uneasiness blending together into something you can't decipher.

Your hand comes to rest against your chest, heart pounding strongly and ceaselessly against your ribcage, almost as though wanting to escape from its confines. It sends you reeling, akin to an out of body experience. For some unexplained reason, confusion clouds your thoughts as you struggle to clear the thick shroud of fog encasing your entire being, the mist muddling and settling deep within you. A haunting sense of premonition creeps over as if some elapsed memory shares in its ominous secrets. Yet, try as you might, you could not uncover the source of this inexplicable anxiety. You're left clueless except for the empty feeling both in your mind and soul, like you have forgotten something important.

When your breathing returns to normal and your pulse has settled back into its regular rhythmic beat, you shake your head to clear it of the sudden upsetting thoughts. Only then do you realize you had fallen asleep at one point, head tilted back against the warm and worn peeling leather seats of the bus. The sound of loud conversations and even louder hum of the engine, the smell of smoke, and the bump of the vehicle's wheels on uneven pavement brings with it a gentle sway of movement that returns to you a sense of comfort you can't put into words.

Glancing down at your lap, you notice that you had left the entirety of a horror movie playing on your phone, the end credits having long since rolled endlessly, words drenched in red blinking cursorily across the screen. You rarely experienced nightmares, not even after indulging in disturbing content, and certainly not when it's broad daylight out still. So then, why now?

The sound of a book plopping down to the ground pulls you out of your reverie and you lean forward to pick it up, folding it closed to survey the front cover.

흰나비의 살인.

The White Butterfly's Murder.

You smile to yourself. It was so like Yoon-Seo to read a murder mystery on a school trip, the same exact one you had gifted to her only yesterday for her birthday. A love of thriller was what brought you both to be such good friends in the first place, and it didn't seem those like-minded interests would diverge any time soon.

"Yoon-Seo ah..." Scooting forward in your seat, you lightly tap her on the shoulder and she jolts upright, turning back to look at you, unreasonably startled, a shiver running down her spine. "What's wrong?" Your grin drops slightly at her growing restlessness, face now pale as if she had encountered an apparition. Her eyes shift back and forth, guarded for a microsecond before snapping back into her usual self.

Yoon-Seo takes noticeably deep inhales, drawing the attention of Jung-Won, her seat mate for the ride, who pauses mid-coding to look over, displeased.

"What did you dream of?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Han Seol-Hwa. Lee Yoon-Seo.” Jung-Won clicks her tongue teasingly, pointing a finger from you to Yoon-Seo. “I'm making it a rule that you guys stay away from blood, murders, and deaths this trip, alright?"

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. "Alright, I promise you eomma. No more nagging Yoon-Seo and I."

Jung-Won scowls at you playfully, pushing her glasses up higher on the bridge of her nose and you stick out your tongue in her direction impishly. Yoon-Seo laughs quietly at the exchange as you hand her back her book.

"Thanks, Seol-Hwa."

"Tell me all about it later when we've arrived." Despite muttering it under your breath to avoid being heard by Jung-Won, you fail miserably.

"Seriously?!"

You and Yoon-Seo laugh together as Jung-Won goes on a tangent about how psychologically, scary things are not good for young, impressionable minds, fingers click-clacking away all the while. Fortunately preoccupied, she doesn't notice Yoon-Seo sending you a wink, a hidden promise between you two to indulge in the realm of the supernatural regardless.

A resounding and victorious scream travels all the way from the back of the bus and you turn around to observe the friend group seated there.

"See?! I told you all Yool was the Mafia! Let's play again," Eun-Ha says, arms crossed. "You idiots never listen to me, do you?" She slaps both Yeon-Woo and Eun-Chan on the back of their heads as petty punishment.

"What can I say? You simply can't kill the master." Yool leans back, legs thrown atop the headrest of the seat in front, a proud smile stretched across his face.

As they're about to commence another game, Jin-Ha gets relayed a message through Seung-Bin. "Tell them that Kyung-Jun is sleeping and to shut the hell up."

"YAH!" The random shout is so out of place and entirely uncalled for, but it's effective for the time being. "Kyung-Jun is sleeping," Jin-Ha parrots, obedient. "You guys are always so fucking loud that we can hear you before we can see you!" Met with blank stares all around, he's finally satisfied at the reduction in volume and goes back to looking at something Seung-Bin points out to him on his phone. Unbeknownst to him, the rest switch to eyeing him in disfavor behind his back.

It wasn't hard to see the hierarchy of the bullies' group, although Jin-Ha most likely doesn't notice anything wrong with the skewed power dynamics.

Kyung-Jun unpredictably opens his eyes, turning to glare at Heo Yool specifically, but when he swivels back around again, your eyes meet coincidentally and he simply stares, an unreadable expression on his face. You avert your gaze hastily, not wanting to stir up trouble with the bullies, especially not Kyung-Jun who was quick to anger if someone so much as breathed wrongly in his direction.

Your eyes search the rest of the bus lazily before landing on Jun-Hee, sleeping peacefully unaware, head tilted towards the window. The sunlight bathes him in a soft yellow glow and you can't help but stare as a single ray of light filters through the curtains, slanting lightly across his face. You etch every slope, every contour, and every dip of his countenance behind your eyes so that the image of him doesn't fade.

The comfortable rise and fall of Jun-Hee's chest, synchronized with his steady breathing is so serene that it captivates your heart. In high noon, the gentle curves of his face seem even more soft, accentuated by the calmness enveloping his features. Fondly, you observe him in the morning's bright golden haze, and in the beauty of the falling sunbeams, you wonder if he'd ever see you in the same way.

A rolled-up piece of paper hits you square in the face and you finally drag your gaze away long enough to see who it is. Whipping your head around, you're met with snickers from Hyun-Ho and Dong-Hyun, who don't even try to hide they're the culprits.

You're being obvious. Hyun-Ho mouths the words discernibly. Just sit next to him if you're going to gawk.

You chuck the paper ball back toward him and it smacks him in the mouth, your nose scrunching up in focus mixed with annoyance.

"I think that's the most creative way I've ever seen someone being told to shut up," Dong-Hyun voices approvingly, shooting you two thumbs up.

"Are you my friend or hers?" Hyun-Ho asks childishly, somewhat snubbed.

"To be honest, she can be more frightening than you at times even though she's half your size."

You giggle to yourself as the two start squabbling in their seats across the aisle from Jung-Won and Yoon-Seo.

For the most part, after having transferred to Yooil High, you were fairly well-liked by everyone for your just and nonjudgmental attitude. That, and you pretty much kept to yourself, stayed out of trouble, and knew not to dig your nose in other's business if it didn't concern you. You weren't popular by any means, but not a single person had a true reason to dislike you and you hoped to continue that track record.

By a stroke of bad luck, your parents died a few years ago in a car accident, and you've been living with your cousin Hyun-Ho ever since, adopted by your aunt and uncle-in-law. They have been nothing short of welcoming and loving, and the same goes for Hyun-Ho, who acts no less like your real brother. Sure, he's annoying at times but it's just his overprotective nature and ease of accepting the older sibling role. You got on quite quickly with Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won, and Hyun-Ho made sure you adapted to his own friend group, introducing you to his best friends Jun-Hee and Dong-Hyun. You loved your companions dearly, all incredibly close and inseparable ever since you could remember.

But you couldn't remember when you began to see Jun-Hee as more than that.

Friends.

It's not the first, and it certainly won't be the last time you remind yourself of that fact.

Just friends. Nothing more and nothing less.

Except, you're not the only who was harboring feelings for him. Where you were quiet and discreet about it, So-Mi is loud and unabashed. It's hard to ignore and pretend you don't hear her snapping pictures of Jun-Hee shamelessly and without permission, the shutter ticking in quick succession.

"Isn't this crazy? It's like a photoshoot, right? How does he look like that? Even while sleeping?" So-Mi rattles off questions in awe, more to herself than anyone else.

Woo Ram doesn't miss a beat in his reply. "I'll tell Jun-Hee about your crazy obsession with him."

"Could you, please?" So-Mi widens her eyes, batting her lashes imploringly. "I'll use that as an opportunity to tempt him."

You hear Ji-Soo's laugh ring out brash and clear. "This delusional girl, seriously..." she chides. "You've been saying that since last year. When will you actually find the courage to tell him?"

That's the question you ask yourself also. You don't blame So-Mi. Sometimes, you think it might be better to not have been best friends with him. It only complicates your feelings further, too afraid to ruin years of friendship, but also too filled with wishful thinking on the mere possibility of it growing into anything beyond that.

Sighing, you turn to look out the window, trying your best to tune out their conversation even though it doesn't work. There's not much to hold your attention when the scenery is endless stretches of barren trees and even emptier infrastructure, or lack thereof, rolling by.

The setting sun dyes everything in a blaze of orange, making it appear as if the city was burning, the sky collapsing.

"Seduce him now," Yu-Jun taunts, voice giving way to his utter lack of confidence in So-Mi's coquetting abilities, knowing full well the impossibility that the two would ever end up together.

"Cut it out! It will happen soon...just not here." So-Mi tries to shush her friends as they holler at Jun-Hee teasingly, with all intent to wake him up.

Woo-Ram and Yu-Jun successfully manage to rouse him if the sound of So-Mi's indignant squeals is anything to go by, coupled with the unmistakable clicking of her phone's camera shutter, pressed by accident this time around.

Somewhere in between listening and musing, you had begun to doze off again when you feel the seat shift and sink beside yours. The movement is so light and careful that you don't pay it any notice at first.

"Hey, I thought when you flirt with someone, they're supposed to come to you and not away from you." Ji-Soo's snickers mix in with So-Mi's annoyed remarks aren't as jarring as you thought it'd be after everyone was subjected to the silent rule earlier.

You feel your head droop forward before someone touches the side of your face gently, fingers grazing the curve of your cheek to angle your head into the broad line of their shoulder.

The pads of their fingers trace the underside of your jaw in a featherlight motion, and you lift your face in alarm, curious as to who would do such a thing especially if they weren't necessarily close to you

Eyes trailing upward, your vision refocuses and they widen at the sight of Jun-Hee staring down at you, gaze soft and unwavering as he stares, transfixed, pupils shining. One hand is hanging in midair, held steady to shield your face from the sun.

You open your mouth to say something, anything, but no words come out, a frozen expression of surprise on your visage.

Jun-Hee's lips tilt slightly upward, the motion bunching his cheeks up, almost as if he was trying hard to suppress his laugh.

Pulling yourself together, you sit up properly and lean away from his shoulder. "Sorry."

You don't notice Jun-Hee's smile dropping imperceptibly and the light in his eyes dimming as you're no longer within close proximity. "Why are you apologizing?"

"It's nothing." The response is too dismissive even to your own ears as you can't conjure up an excuse for the sudden pretense, or for your outlandish behavior.

It would be quite a long bus ride, sitting next to each other, both not knowing what to say.

The space between Jun-Hee's eyebrows crease together in confusion, but he doesn't push the matter further.

You clear your throat awkwardly, shifting in your seat to sit on your hands. When did simply talking to him become so hard to do? You've hidden your feelings for years without problem, so why was it so different now? Those feelings changed and grew. "When did you come to sit here? Weren't you just sleeping earlier?"

Jun-Hee knocks his shoulder into yours, a teasing lilt to his voice. "You were watching me?"

"Pft, as if," You deny with lackluster confidence, scoffing. "I was just observing what everyone was doing."

"Right..." He elongates the word. "...And what I was doing was sleeping. That you watched." Jun-Hee looks at you again, a deadpan but knowing look on his face. Flustered, you duck your head only for him to mirror the movement, subtly leaning his own toward yours and trying to catch your eye. It ends up with him chortling as your forehead nearly collides with your knees in the slouched over position you had subjected yourself to.

Knowing full well you were being made fun of without a hint of malice, you twist your body sideways and lean your back against the window, turning to him with a glare. "Is this fun to you?"

As he laughs, you find yourself wanting to follow suit, but stick to the bit of maintaining your mock angry façade, slapping him on the arm. If anything, he continues to chuckle, barely flinching, finding your reaction rather amusing.

"Don't worry. I promise I didn't sneak any pictures." It quickly registers to you that he was clearly teasing So-Mi for earlier. You can't help the scandalized look on your face, cheeks puffing out as you try to hold in your laugh. "I guess you did notice a camera being pressed up to your face, huh?"

"Kind of hard not to with all the noise." He shakes his head in annoyance. "But I am still sleepy." Jun-Hee pulls your arm so that you're pressed against his side again, no semblance of space remaining between the two of you as he lowers himself, sinking further down into the seat, eyes shut and head now leaning against your shoulder.

"Jun-Hee..."

"Let me borrow your shoulder for a little while."

You're about to pull away, thinking he's playing around when his grip tightens on your arm.

"Think of it as returning the favor from earlier. We can call it even."

Making a vague sound of neutrality but not moving, you relax, and Jun-Hee lessens his hold, adjusting his position to be more comfortable. "Are you going to watch this time too?" His hand squeezes your forearm once.

"Dream on," you kid.

"Maybe I will," he answers with certainty. "Until it becomes reality."

"I didn't know you were this affectionate with everyone."

"Not just anyone. Only you," Jun-Hee mumbles, tilting his head further into the crook of your neck. His lips move dangerously close to the juncture of your shoulder, your pulse point centimeters away as he shifts around, finding the most relaxing spot to rest.

"Don't say things you don't mean." You can't bite your tongue fast enough as the words tumble out unprompted. That was supposed to be an inside thought no one else should be privy to but yourself.

"Who says I don't mean it?" You tense up beside him, at a loss for words, but Jun-Hee doesn't point it out, more than not nice enough to ignore it for your sake. "I'm self-proclaimed as your favorite." He bumps his knee against yours. "I know you better than anyone else."

"Do you, though?"

"...Of course, I do."

But you don't know that I'm already halfway in love with you.

"On what basis, mister?"

"Best friend privileges."

"Right..."

You stare down at the top of his head, Jun-Hee unaware of your blatant staring and the way your smile fades at the same time one appears on his face.

"That's acceptable, no?"

"Of course, it is. Best friends. That's what we are..." You trail off.

And I guess that's all we'll ever be.

Hours later, the sky has since darkened and you can see the visible outline of the full moon on high, light not concealed by the stars weakly glimmering to illuminate the night.

Most, if not the entirety, of the students on the bus were asleep, except for you and your two lovable, but mischievous best friends sitting in front of you.

Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won peer over the back of their seats like cute meerkats, only their eyes visible, phones raised suspiciously in your direction.

"You're welcome in advance," Yoon-Seo says cheekily, showing the widest grin you've ever seen on her, eyes crinkling as Jung-Won stifles her laugh behind her hand. At your persistent eye signals, they sink back down into their seats, satisfied after overfilling their camera rolls.

As the bus slows down, indicating that your class was nearing your destination, the road gradually begins to get rougher and bumpier. It's a surprise Jun-Hee still hasn't woken up yet, sleeping soundly away still leaning on you.

Deciding to mess around with him, you slightly pivot your body so it's facing him, leaving enough room for his head to not fall off your shoulder.

"Jun-Hee," you call, tilting your head down in front of his.

"Jun-Hee ah." The bus is rocking him, lolling his head forward along with the movement, his face nearly downturned.

"Wake up, sleepyhead." Your shoulder is no longer acting as support when you turn your face directly below his and peer up, tilting your head like he had done to you miles back, smiling at his obliviousness to the harmless prank, peacefully undisturbed in his slumber.

"Kim Jun—" The bus lurches abruptly, running over a speed bump the driver misses, and your words die in your throat as it jostles Jun-Hee's body forward and consequently his head toward your own, his lips meeting yours. The next slope in the road, and the fleeting press of the accidental kiss fades away, but the butterflies in your stomach refuse to settle.

You're motionless, eyes wide, hands immediately coming up to touch your lips where they're still tingling from the lingering imprint of Jun-Hee's lips against your own, barely registering just how close his face is to yours still, remaining asleep all the same.

"Kids, we're here!"

Your teacher's announcement snaps you out of your thoughts and you hurriedly sit back as Jun-Hee's eyelids sluggishly part, the first thing they focus on is you. He grins drowsily, and you wonder what can truly fix the irreparable damage to your heart.

Get a grip, Han Seol-Hwa.

Forcing a smile that you hope isn't as awkward as it feels onto your face, you decidedly withhold the truth about the incident.

"That was the best sleep I've had in a while," Jun-Hee tells you, leaning closer to be heard over the ruckus of everyone moving around in their seats, wanting to alight the bus the moment it stops.

You scoot back reflexively with your face aflame, still not over what had happened.

Jun-Hee also pulls away, worry mixed with bewilderment evident on his face. "Are you alright?"

"What do you mean?" You cringe internally at how guilty the tone of your voice comes out.

"It's just..." Jun-Hee regards you for a moment, studying your face as you avoid his searching eyes. "You've been acting a little weird since this morning."

"I'm tired is all," you lie through your teeth.

"If I—"

Suddenly So-Mi appears next to the two of you in the aisle, eyeing you up and down judgingly. "Jun-Hee, the teacher said he wants to talk to us."

As Jun-Hee gets up but doesn't reply, you swiftly scoot out of your own seat and attempt to scurry away to where Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won are waiting for you by the wheel, wanting to avoid the dreaded conversation you knew was sure to follow.

So-Mi dismisses your presence completely, standing into the empty space between the rows in an effort to block Jun-Hee off.

His eyes count your steps and before you can move even a feet away, he grabs ahold of you, fingers wrapping securely but tenderly around your wrist. Your pulse quickens beneath your skin, and you wonder if he can feel how rapidly it bounds under his touch.

"Seol-Hwa—"

Jun-Hee appears a bit dejected for some reason you'd rather not dwell upon. You gaze down at his grasp on you before turning to face him.

"Didn't you hear me?" So-Mi interjects, trying to make him focus on her by stepping into his line of vision, but his eyes remain fixed only on you. "Seonsaengnim needs both of us for something."

Your fingers graze Jun-Hee's as you slowly remove his hand, much to his reluctance. To the bitter distaste of So-Mi, he doesn't seem like he'll go along with her any time soon. She directs her glare at you once more, and you sigh quietly, not wanting to be in the middle of this interaction one bit.

"I'll see you later Jun-Hee."

"Wait—" He tries to grab your hand again, but So-Mi is quick to turn his shoulder away, making up filler dialogue.

Given the slip unintentionally, you speed walk toward your friends, and the three of you descend the steps. You feel Jun-Hee's stare burn through the back of your head yet refuse to turn around.

Maybe if you leave everything that happened on the bus and the thoughts along with it, you'll go back to being yourself soon enough.

The teacher is pacing the edge of the curb looking perturbed, voice frustrated as he speaks into the phone, the person on the other end not comprehending a single word.

Before you can tune into what he's saying, Yoon-Seo taps you on the forearm, whispering, "Have we been here? Why do I feel like I have? It's so familiar..."

"All the youth centers look the same," Jung-Won settles, rummaging through her backpack. "Yoon-Seo, Seol-Hwa, I'm heading in first. See you inside."

You wave to her as Yoon-Seo stands beside you, unmoving and gazing up at the third-floor window of the building.

"Yoon-Seo...?" You move your hand back and forth in front of her face, and she finally blinks, her gaze returning to normal.

"What is it?" she responds absentmindedly.

"That's what I should be asking you." You halt at the blank expression on her face staring back at you.

"I thought I saw something..." She points at the window but when you look, squinting against the dark to focus your eyes, all you can see is the white curtains billowing back and forth from the window barely cracked open.

"It's only the wind. Your mind is probably playing tricks on you." Yoon-Seo seems assured by your answer for the time being, nodding. You rap on her head lightly with a loose fist, mock admonishing. "Aigoo, Miss Detective. The books are taking over your imagination."

Yoon-Seo laughs and shoves you playfully. "Don't act like you don't also live and breathe all things horror."

"But I'm not the one seeing things, am I?" Raising your eyebrows at her teasingly, Yoon-Seo simply rolls her eyes and links her arm with yours.

"Come on, let's go. It's cold out here, and I want to see the rest of this place."

The two of you enter the lobby, and the first thing you take note of is the pure white marble statue of a girl, sitting atop a pillar and staring down into nothingness, eyes soulless and devoid of emotion. It’s melancholic in a way, a personified goddess, yet alone and ostensibly powerless.

"Yoon-Seo, don't you think those eyes remind you of anyone?" You fix your gaze on the figurine closely, examining the features etched haphazardly into the rock. Whatever intention the sculptor had, you couldn't find the purpose for the seemingly out of place decor.

Yoon-Seo nudges you. "Now who's the one with the wild imagination?"

"I'm being serious here."

"I don't see any resemblance to anyone we could possibly know. There's no informative plaque on who it may be either."

You shrug. "Maybe it's just me then."

"Aren't you two going to scan?" Jung-Won ushers you and Yoon-Seo toward the flyer:

[ sᴄᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ǫʀ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪ-ғɪ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴsᴛᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴏᴜᴛʜ ᴄᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ᴀᴘᴘ ᴀᴜᴛᴏᴍᴀᴛɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ]

"This place has an app? What for?" you question.

"Hmm, I'll just stick to this paper booklet they have instead." Yoon-Seo decides quickly, rifling through the readily available printed maps.

"You'll have to lead me around," you say in all earnestness. "I'm very direction disoriented."

Jung-Won doesn't even try to hide her smile. "We can tell."

"It's not my fault I was born like this." You dramatically fall back onto Yoon-Seo. "Would you two really lead me astray as my best friends?"

Yoon-Seo giggles behind you. "No way. We saw how dazed you were getting off the bus earlier. You need all the help you can get."

Jung-Won snickers, shaking her head while dragging you and Yoon-Seo through the double doors of the gymnasium where the rest were gathered.

Everyone is off scattered into their own respective friend groups, your trio throwing your backpacks haphazardly on the floor before sitting against the wall of bleachers yet to be pulled out.

Jun-Hee and So-Mi enter shortly after with the teacher, engaged in a discussion. You look away before they can notice, and focus on the girls attempting to practice for their performance instead, Woo-Ram filming their efforts. Joo-Young pushes Mi-Na out of her spotlight and steals it openly, not that Woo-Ram minded. If anything, he holds the camera ever-sturdier, a newfound excitement apparent this time around as he zooms into her face. His happiness is short-lived however, as Kyung-Joon turns off the speakers nonchalantly, forcing the girls to start over from the beginning, much to their irritation.

Despite what you decided on earlier, you can't help but throw glances over in Jun-Hee's direction. He's seated at the table reserved for school council members by the entryway, overlooking everyone as So-Mi talks his ear off, undeterred by his indifference.

"Stop staring. You're going to wear away his pretty face," Yoon-Seo jokes from your left.

"I wasn't staring," you reply back half-committally, knowing she's caught you in the act.

"You totally were," Jung-Won joins in, slowly leaning her head on your right shoulder. "Let me borrow your shoulder while I code."

"If she's allowed, I should be too," Yoon-Seo copies, mirroring Jung-Won from your left side.

"Careful, that one's Jun-Hee's. You'll have to wait your turn, Yoon-Seo."

"Oh my god," you groan, embarrassed, hiding your face into your hands as the two laugh beside you, kicking your feet from both sides with theirs. "You two are merciless."

"Are you going to deprive me of the best sleep I'll ever have?" Yoon-Seo snuggles closer, hugging you tightly to her.

"Yah! Lee Yoon-Seo!"

You had the intention of taking Jun-Hee off your mind by hanging out with your friends, only for you to see bits of his personality in Yoon-Seo, their long-time friendship having had them taking on one another's mannerisms.

"I'm using my best friend privileges." Jung-Won pats you on the knee. "Stay still."

As Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won squish into you from both sides, you can't help but giggle at the sheer absurdity of the reenactment and their dedication to coming up with jokes on the fly. You try to fight back the onslaught of laughter, but it's entirely pointless in their presence. Traitorously, your eyes crinkle in mirth, half-crescents resting atop your cheeks as your laugh tinkles in the shared space, making the other two giggle along, shaking with glee where they're pressed against you.

Jung-Won eventually caves and sits up properly when all the hooting you and Yoon-Seo are doing keeps rattling her laptop, messing up her coding. A permanent smile sits on her face though, watching you two bicker.

"Jung-Won, help, I need my inhaler. I can't breathe from laughing so much," Yoon-Seo gasps out, holding her stomach.

"I'm not getting it for you."

"I can't believe you would tease me at the expense of your asthma." You push Yeon-Seo away, sniggering as she goes back to clinging onto your arm and laying her head back on your shoulder.

Jung-Won turns to look at you and Yoon-Seo briefly, her eyes shifting to the side momentarily, a ghost of a smile settling on her lips before she resumes attention to her laptop. "Don't look but Jun-Hee is watching."

Right as she says that, you make to move your head, but Yoon-Seo expects it and holds your chin in place with her hand, pinching your cheeks playfully.

"I said don't look!" Jung-Won chuckles.

It throws Yoon-Seo into another fit of giggles as you try to speak through your puckered lips. She releases her hand quickly after, and you drop your head to lean on the crown of hers, giving up.

You elbow Jung-Won in her side. "Were you messing with me?"

"Why would I?" she says innocently, typing away.

You look at her pointedly. "Yeah, you totally wouldn't."

Jung-Won holds her hands up in a motion of surrender. "I'm not this time, really. Seeing So-Mi angry is my favorite past-time."

"So mean," Yoon-Seo sing-songs.

"And you had no part in this?" You poke Yoon-Seo in the cheek. "Who told you to have an annoyingly cute and kind best friend?"

"You mean you?"

"You know what I mean."

"It's true."

"Guess I'll have a crush on you instead."

Yoon-Seo chortles with laughter. "So, you do admit you like him!"

"I didn't say that!"

"I read between the lines."

“It was one line!”

"This really sucks," Jung-Won says off-handedly, scrolling through the app. "I can make something like this in a day."

"Huh?" Yoon-Seo inquires, lost.

"You really didn't scan the QR code earlier? It was installed automatically. Give me your phone. I'll do it for you."

"No, it's okay. I'll get by. It's a short trip."

"I wouldn't put it past Yoon Seo to carry around the paper map for two whole days," you jest.

"Careful, you can't even navigate well, Seol-Hwa."

Jung-Won snorts at Yoon-Seo's jab.

"You got me there. If you tell me to walk back the way we came from I'd probably end up walking in the opposite direction."

Yoon-Seo shakes her head in fond disbelief.

"I'm not getting any signals in here." Jung-Won holds her phone up high, arm stretching.

While you watch as Jung-Won moves her device around to figure out the cause of the lost signal and no connection to Wi-Fi, Yool rushes past, making a mad run for the storage room. Adjacent to the bleachers where you and your friends were sitting, he flings the door open with purpose and digs through the contents of the room. Various apparatus gets upended from their designated places, the speed and sheer amount of hiking gear, equipment for ball sports, as well as other items meant for the gymnasium flying out from the doorway is nothing short of the effects in a comedic cartoon. Knowing how much of a jokester Yool was, you pay it no mind and turn back to the task at hand.

You pull out your own phone to try and locate even one bar of cell phone service, only to be met with the message that the vicinity was an unserviceable area. "That's weird. We're not in a remote place or anything like that. What happens if the power goes out, then?"

Right as you say that, static from the speakers produces head-splitting screeches, causing everyone to recoil with palms over their ears in annoyance, the lights flashing once before cutting out.

With everyone fearing the worst, a few remain unmoving while screams of the rest bounce off the walls, echoing in the spacious room. You and Yoon-Seo however, have no reaction, more curious than anything else.

"Why did you turn the lights off?" Someone you can't put a name to probes in the dark. "Turn them back on!"

Following in haste after one another, the students make good use of their phone flashlights, aiming it at the court's center, revealing a figure cloaked in white standing as clear as day amidst the obscurity of the room.

While the majority cower in fear, clutching onto their friends, Hyun-Ho imperturbably throws a basketball at the unknown prowler, knocking them over in one go.

"Ouch!"

The white sheet is flung off theatrically, and out crawls a disheveled but cackling Yool.

"Aish, seriously," Hyun-Ho admonishes. "Quit goofing around."

Kicking the blanket to the side away from his feet, Yool raises his hands up in the air dramatically, acting to the end. Not a single person has managed to find the overhead lights in the meantime, the only ones illuminating the outline of his thin frame were the stage bulbs operating on a different circuit.

"While I have your attention, you guys have to listen up," he begins conspiratorially. "I heard a harrowing tale that's been passed down to everyone who steps foot into this building." Yool looks from one classmate to the next, more serious than he's ever been. "They say a female high school student took her own life here." He continues on as gasps and murmurs spring up around you. "There are things you absolutely can't do." He waggles his pointer finger dramatically for emphasis. "Don't look back after glancing in the mirror past midnight, and ignore it even if someone were to grab your ankle while you are asleep. If you don't follow these rules..." Yool pauses for staged effect before walking in broken steps like he’s possessed, arms and legs bent in odd angles, rushing straight toward the dancers still seated on the floor.

"...YOU'LL SEE A GHOST!"

Shrieks pierce the room as someone manages to flip the lights on again with perfect timing, ending Yool's one-man show.

Jung-Won clucks her tongue while you and Yoon-Seo look at one another. You were expecting her to be as nonchalant as you were, all her readings considered, but she's staring straight ahead, spooked.

"Earth to Yoon-Seo?" You touch her hand and she flinches, causing you to jump as well from her unexpected reaction.

"Huh?" She whips her head toward you, still zoned out. "Sorry." A forced smile settles on her face, an infrequent sight to her usual bright demeanor. "Don't worry, it just felt like deja vu for a minute."

"You said something similar earlier. Are you sure you're doing okay?" Your voiced is laced with worry.

"See, this is why I told you two to tone it down with the heebie-jeebies. You're only scaring yourselves." Jung-Won pats your head and then Yoon-Seo's in turn. "We should go to our rooms anyway. They all have too much energy they can't wait to waste away," Jung-Won states, gesturing to everyone milling about.

"Let's go?" You pull Yoon-Seo up, and she nods in return, reassuring you that she was finally present and not off and away in her thoughts.

As the three of you leave, your ears perk up at the last thing you hear Yool say.

"Did you guys really believe it?" His sentence is cut by a boisterous laugh, pleased to no end at the affirmative from his friends. "Eyy, come on now, it was just an innocent and fake joke. None of us are going to die. Not tonight and not for a long time to come."

SYNOPSIS | 02 : THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

© 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨, 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞, 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭. 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.

#daisy : night has come.#tulips : to read.

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minbulas · 1 year ago

Text

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

in which...

you hate heeseung. you hate his snobby little voice, his stupid little glasses that are too big for him, his nosiness, and his ability to prove anything or anyone wrong easily. you hate hate hate the way you try to avoid him, but somehow he’s always around, and he can’t see how much you hate him. you swear nothing could make you like him, but after you get caught in a sticky situation with him playing your knight in shining armor, you realize that maybe he isn’t so bad after all.

pairing — heeseung x fem!reader

genre — one sided enemies to lovers, highschool au, he falls first she falls harder, oblivious x obvious, tutor x tutoree (kind of), childhood friends (ish because the whole one sided enemies thing) to lovers, long fic

wordcount — 19.7k (oops!)

warnings — profanity, kissing, miscommunication, parties/underage drinking, reader gets called and calls someone a bitch, food, violence (but literally just one slap and reader thinks about it but doesn't), yn is kind of the problem LMFAO, mentions of vomiting but no actual vomitting.

featuring — lia of itzy, miyeon of g-idle, hyung line of enhypen (sorry maknaes too many people), ocs : sooyun + teachers

disclaimer — i am not saying this is an accurate representation of these idols or trying to sexualize them at all. this is just something i do for fun.

yenqa — wow okay. ive been working on this since literally january 1st. i cant believe i actually finished this 😭 but if you’re reading (or about to) thank you! and i hope you enjoy months of my hard work <3

YOU WATCH AS THE SNOW FALLS SLOWLY TO THE GROUND

A blanket of white has got you and the guests at your house locked in for the night. You weren’t very happy with these strangers staying at your house for the night—In fact, you had just been completely shut down by your dad when you asked him to kick them out. It was obvious why he did that, but this definitely had to be your least favorite christmas out of the eight you had been through.

You snap out of your thoughts, continuing to eat whatever you had left on your plate, hesitating when you saw the amount of vegetables still left.

“Mom! I’m full.” You try to hide your plate from her, showing her instead a pout with a hand on your stomach.

It didn’t work—obviously, so you were stuck at the table, a frown on your face as you forced in the greens. Across from you, a boy your age, who didn’t seem to mind, he almost looked like he was enjoying it.

That’s impossible though, no one likes vegetables. Maybe he was doing it so Santa would get him an extra special gift?

You grumble when he finishes his place, showcasing his plate that had been licked clean to his mom. He stared at you for a second looking down at your—full plate then looking back at his mom, she said “Great job Heeseung!”. He returns his plate to the table with a smile.

Stabbing your fork back into your food, you stuff it into your face, hoping that you would enjoy it as much as Heeseung did. Again, it didn’t work, and the bitter taste returned to your mouth.

After what felt like hours of groaning and complaining, you had taken the last bite of your food, a proud smirk on your face when you made eye contact with the boy from earlier, who only smiled at you in return.

Throwing away your plastic plate, you realized that now it was present time, and Santa just had to reward you for your good deeds.

Rushing over to the tree, you spot everyone gathered around the area, opening their presents. You run to your present, recognizing the wrapping paper from last year. Looking at your mom for approval, she nods and you tear apart the paper, lifting up the box inside.

You squeal when you see the picture, you had been begging your mom for weeks for a Lego set, specifically if it was minecraft themed. And Santa had gotten you just that. You hug the box, squeezing it. You exclaim a loud “Thank you Santa!” before running up to your room to assemble the build.

Reading the directions, you start the house, quickly getting confused on how it isn’t looking like how it does in the picture.

“I think that’s the wrong piece.” A voice says, you whip your head around to see the same boy who sat across from you.

“Who are you?” Your eyebrows furrow at the sight, confused on why those were the first words he said instead of “Hi!” or something.

“My name’s Heeseung—Um, my mom told me to come upstairs and said we should be friends. Do you want to be friends?” He chuckles awkwardly.

You huff, “I’m Y/n. Also no, I don’t want to be friends, you’re mean.” You force your legos together, frustrated already with the pieces. You continue to reread the directions, pushing—what you think are—the exact legos to the board. But it doesn’t seem like it’ll fit. Maybe if you push it harder?

“Oh—okay.” You jump slightly, too focused to realize how he's been watching you for the past few minutes. “Do you need some help?”

Yes, you need help. But did you want to accept his help? This was your christmas gift from Santa, you shouldn’t have to share.

Glancing at the picture then to the building that had looked like an abstract rendition of it, you let out a sigh. I mean, it wouldn’t hurt, right? “Yeah, I guess.”

He takes a seat on the carpet next to you, focusing hard on the directions before breaking off the wrong pieces, reassembling it so you’ll be on the right track.

“Does this go here, do you think?” “No, it goes here.” That was a summary of what the conversation was between you, and somehow you were always the one asking the question. Sighing, you lean back, taking a short stretch break before starting again.

You’re shocked at his speed and efficiency, it almost seems like he’s always a step ahead of you. Geez does this guy ever slow down?

The roles are quickly switched as you are sitting watching him instead. Rummaging through each box only for his eyes to lighten up one he finds the right one. You watch him for a while, getting a break that you very much needed.

You hope that he waits for you to finish it, or that he doesn’t completely do it all by himself because again, it’s your Christmas gift, and he wouldn’t do that, right?

Not right, because apparently he’s a machine—he finishes the build. He stands up, pushes his stupid glasses up also and smiles at you, heading to the door. You think he’s going to say something else like “Sorry for taking away your present!” instead, he thanks you for sharing and happily skipping away.

Heeseung. Even his name infuriates you. He was very unpredictable and you hated that. Why did he just do that? He’s so rude. People don’t make sense—especially boys, they have cooties.

Your head was filled with calling him the rudest things you could think of—You even said a few curse words.

Though later you realized that you probably would never see him again, you were ecstatic, so ecstatic you had disassembled your legos just to rebuild it, to completely forget about your bad experience with the boy.

Only two weeks later were you disappointed to see that same boy, sitting across from you during dinner once again.

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY WAS THE PEN LIA FOUND ON THE GROUND.

It was a bright magenta color, topped with a donut at the very top. She showcased it proudly to you both, then happily tucking it into her pocket.

“I need a new pen, I keep losing mine! I think I’ve blown off so much money buying new school supplies” Miyeon sighed, tucking her hair back behind her ear.

“That must suck considering you didn’t just find the cutest pen ever!” She shoves the pen in Miyeon’s face, spinning it around boastfully.

“Well that magenta color is ugly!” Miyeon snaps, and they start bickering over if the pen is cute or not.

Not this again. Every morning they have some kind of debate, whether it’s whose outfit is cuter to who does Mr. Park (their astrology teacher) like more.

Though, no side ever ends up winning since they are quickly distracted by the loud ringing sound blaring through the speakers.

It’s like a ritual at this point, a staple to your morning routine—which also felt like a staple to your head because god were they loud.

Sometimes, you forget they even are friends until the bell rings, always happily skipping off to their class hand in hand. Which happens every time but no one seems to comment on it.

“Y/n, is this pen cute or not?”

You did not want to engage in this conversation at all, in fact you think a staple in the head would be nicer. But the ones above decided to look away from you, leaving you stuck in between their quarrel.

“Well I think-”

You’re quickly cut off—Thank god you’re cut off—by the bell. Quickly, you wave your goodbyes and start walking to the other side of the school to your first period. Step after step you walk past each classroom, looking in to see if you know anybody in each—

“Hey Y/n!”

You whip your head back to see Heeseung’s snobby little face. You hadn’t actually talked to the guy in months considering you two have such close connections. He was wearing a black hoodie and some baggy jeans, his glasses layed low on his nose, leaving you wonder how he can even see if they were that low. He looked horrible.

Okay maybe it wasn’t that bad.

Rolling your eyes, you ask, “What do you want?”

“Your mom said you needed some help in physics? If you needed help you could’ve just asked y’know.” He shrugs, keeping up with your pace even though you’re doing everything you can to leave him behind. Fuck those long legs.

“Leave me the fuck alone Heeseung, I don’t want your help.”

“Are you sure? I’d be happy to help-”

You put your hand up, stopping him right in front of the classroom, “No, I don’t need your help Heeseung, I’m fine on my own.”

Turning your head to his, you give him the nastiest glare you could muster, then walking to your seat—which was right next to his but you’ll think about the details later.

Sometimes you wished you could take three seconds before saying things because you definitely needed the help, you both knew it.

Anyone who had eyes could see that you were visibly struggling every time any physics related object was placed in front of you. The quiet room was often filled with your sighs and the loud erasing of your pencil, sometimes inducing a chuckle or two that would always end in a dirty look from you.

The bell rings soon afterwards and Ms. Nam never misses a beat to start taking attendance, which makes it impossible to ever be tardy without her noticing.

Though it doesn’t seem to work as well as she thinks it does, people who don’t care about their attendance, don’t show up anyways.

She never misses a beat either, she takes a sip from her mug then jumps up to teach, what you would do to see her falter just once–

“No spacing out in my classroom! Eyes up here everyone!” She makes eye contact with you–or the person in front of you, you couldn’t really tell, clicks her tongue, then continues reading. You groan internally, moving your eyes to zone out right on the board.

There seems like no end to her endless amount of explaining directions (which are on the board and everyone can read) and yelling at people who are talking–until there finally is.

After what felt like the whole class period she points to the table up front not being able to stop explaining why she does everything she does, including making it a big deal that the desk up front is where the worksheet is, and to not ask her where it is or where to turn it in.

She shuts up–finally, and the class gets up to the front of the class, taking worksheets for themself.

You’re about to get up when the crowd around the paper dies down when Lee Heeseung stops in front of you, saying he grabbed an extra one by accident and hands it to you.

He did not get an extra one on accident.

He just wanted to get your attention.

A simple plan, and completely foolproof– a win-win situation really. He gets to have your attention for an extra second, and you get your paper without having to walk up.

He pats himself on the back internally, before plopping down on his seat, right next to yours.

“Thank you?” You mutter, giving him a confused look.

He chuckles, shaking his head before looking down on his work.

Heeseung ignores the dirty look you give him–even though he’s not sure why you hate him so much, he ignores that too. Pretending in the little movie in his mind that you really really like him.

Scanning the worksheet, he rolls his eyes, not a single inch of his body wants to do this useless assignment but he forces himself anyways, internally groaning at every question.

Finishing the first three he moves onto the last question on that side of the page, he looks up at the clock, noticing that only ten minutes had passed.

He then lowers his eyes to your hunched over picture, glancing at the paper below you to only see a sentence written on the first question.

I don’t know?????

He watches as you giggle at your own antics. Letting out a breathy laugh himself while you hurriedly erase it and look around to see how much progress other people made.

Your eyes soon turn to his, locking eyes with him before giving him side eye-ing while looking away. Seems like Heeseung was on a roll today with your nasty looks, because that was his second today!

“Hey do you want some help?” He asks, and if he could slap his hand over his mouth–and maybe choke himself in the process if he wouldn’t look like a total weirdo to stop himself from saying that–He would. Though the words came out before he could even process that he wanted to help you, he tries to look the most genuine he can–just so you don’t get the wrong idea.

Sighing you look at him, mumbling, “No.”

He reads the question you’re on anyways. He can feel his heart start to race. His stomach tingles as he scoots his chair closer to yours, rereading the question at the top of the page.

“The mass is 32 grams and the velocity is 3 miles per hour. Do you know the formula for finding the amount of kinetic energy?”

“Umm– that’s why I’m still on the first question.” Oh lord.

He blinks once, then continues, “Oh! Sorry! Okay, so you would multiply the mass by ½ and then multiply that by the velocity squared. It’s simple math really.”

You stare at him through the corner of your eye, and Heeseung notices.

“I mean, that’s like middle school math. I’d be a little worried if you were struggling with a 12-year-olds problems-”

“Okay, that’s enough!”

His mouth is immediately zipped shut as he watches you do the math on your page, staring as your hands move delicately to write every number carefully. “It’s 144, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay–I don’t want your help, Heeseung.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Are you sure? I’m fine with helping you with the whole thing.”

You almost scoff, “I’m fine! Thank you so much for asking.” You turn your head away from his, gluing your eyes to the worksheet.

Met with the paper once again you’re in the same position you were five minutes ago, you had forgotten half–if not all these vocabulary words and didn’t understand a single thing he had said.

So you continued to zone out on the paper, rethinking every single life choice you had made up until this point of your life.

Maybe if you hadn’t worn that blue sweater last week–

“Y/n! How’s the worksheet going?” You whip your head to the sound, to see Ms. Nam’s smiley face–exactly like a robot. You’re convinced that you could write an essay on how she’s definitely not real, how she’s an alien or some artificial intelligence trying to fit in with other humans by becoming a teacher, it’ll surely be better than any other essay you’ve written–And maybe it could be your college essay.

You blink twice before completely processing her implements, looking down at your paper you subtly try to cover it in shame, trying to charm her with a small smile. “Great! I’m doing so great!”

She laughs wholeheartedly even though it wasn’t that funny. Finally she stops, looks down on your paper and silently judges all your silly doodles around the border.

Clicking her tongue–you hate it when she does that– Ms. Nam smiles, “If you need any help, you can just ask me Y/n.”

“Okay, thank you.” You don’t want her help at all, you think that Lee Heeseung would be a better company than her.

“Or you could ask your classmates!” She exclaims, acting like she discovered dinosaurs or something, “Your seatmate, Heeseung is very gifted in this subject! He’ll be very helpful if you need it!”

Okay maybe the offer for her help sounded pretty good right now. You look over to him to see a shy smile on his face, your eyebrows furrow at his innocent expression. You wish you could punch that stupid–

YOU THINK YOU’LL DIE TOMORROW IF ANYTHING ELSE GOES BAD FOR YOU.

It almost felt like the universe was plotting against you—okay maybe a bit dramatic but who could blame you? Your mom just told you the Lee’s were coming over for dinner.

“On a Tuesday? Any specific reason?”

Your mom chuckles, “I just wanted to see them honey, they’re family friends after all. And they haven’t come over for a while.”

“Didn’t they come over two weeks ago?”

“Last month, that’s a long time compared to someone who sees their friends everyday!” Your mom shrugs, cutting some green onions.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. Sighing, you mentally raise a white flag, telling your mom that you were heading up to your room.

Letting out a sigh of relief you drop your backpack on the ground, staring at your room for a little bit too tired to decide what to do next. But, you pull yourself together, plugging in your phone and deciding if your outfit was good enough for guests to see.

Shrugging at your reflection, you move to sit down by your desk, starting on your assignments that you hadn’t finished because you were too busy messing around with your friends.

After finishing one assignment, you check your phone for messages, or just to cure your boredom. It was always a huge mistake on your part, but old habits die hard, right?

Wasting an hour just messing around on your phone, you begrudgingly put it back down, starting on some reading in the fat textbook laid ahead of you.

It seems like angels singing from heaven when your mom calls you down for dinner, because you’re sick of all these big words blending together in the textbook.

You're halfway down the stairs before realizing that the bane of your existence will be there. The lightened mood you once had now dropping leaving you wishing you could crawl back into your desk chair and pretend you hadn’t heard anything.

It was a shame that you were starving, so there was no excuse for you not to eat dinner with them. Mentally preparing yourself you walk down the few steps left, almost immediately being greeted by your Heeseung’s mom.

You're surprised to see no Heeseung in sight, just his smiley parents who are always happy to see you. You look around once more before asking “Where’s Heeseung, Auntie Lee?”

You don’t care, of course. But you can’t say you weren’t happy that his seat was left cold and untouched.

“He’s at the library, tutoring other students! ‘Said he wouldn't make it to dinner but he’ll be here later Y/n sweetie, don’t worry about him.”

Smiling, you nod acting like you give a fuck about him before taking your seat next to his empty one.

The dinner is going fine. Dining with people who are triple your age and too proper to be comfortable with isn’t really your favorite thing to do but it’s much better than having to do the same with the chair next to you being used.

Feeling optimistic you happily chow down the food your mother has served, relishing in the satisfying dish.

“So, Y/n how’s school?” Heeseung’s dad stares you down. It’s a very typical parent question they usually ask you to include you in somehow. You always have the same answer every time.

You put on a smile for him, “It’s good! Just a little homework here and there. The same old usual.” You’re careful not to ask about his work, not wanting to hear his whole dinner rant about how his coworkers or his boss is annoying the crap out of him. Instead you ask, “Have you been golfing recently?”

His eyes lighten and you know you asked the right question. “Just Sunday I went! I dragged Heeseung with me because everyone was busy” Letting out a hearty laugh, he continued. “He’s great at everything he does! He could be a professional if I pushed him harder!”

Chuckling to hide your hatred for his boy, you answer, “Better late than never, right Uncle Lee?”

“Yes! Exactly Y/n! Anyways–”

He’s cut off by the doorbell and everybody stares at your mom in confusion. You stand up letting everyone know to continue eating without you as you walk to the front door. Unlocking it, you stare up slightly to see Heeseung’s awkward smile.

“Thought you weren’t supposed to make it to dinner?” You squint at him, moving to the side to let him in, watching as he takes his shoes off.

He chuckles, “Did you miss me or something?”

“Are you stupid?”

His smile falls slightly, so slightly you’d miss it if you weren’t glaring at him so hard.

“They canceled, some family issues came up.”

“Why’d you come so late then?”

“Told me thirty minutes after it started, I knew you missed me.” Nudging you with his elbow he waits for you to start walking to the dining table.

You push him to the wall.

Then you start walking to the dinner table.

Walking until they spot you, you notice everyone's smile and kind greetings as he shyly waves to your parents. Seems like the mood is lighter now that he’s here, but your mood definitely lowers. He sits at his usual spot and you sit in your old spot. Right across from each other.

It’s crazy to you how much he can change from in front of you and your parents. He acts like he’s the most humble but smartest man alive and he’s yet to find out. He’s kind to you too, no teasing remarks, just smiles in your direction. You don’t smile back, moving your gaze elsewhere. It’s a shame, he is smart, but humble? You could definitely tick off a few points for him.

You don’t act differently, other than obviously not bickering with Heeseung in front of his parents. You’re tolerating him, it’s the most kindness you could give him after all.

Heeseung isn’t humble, if you could describe him in a word it would be weird. Heeseung is weird.

The aftermath of dinner was a huge bang.

It would be if you decided to slam the textbook into your head–which seemed like a pretty good option.

This time though, you were not being dramatic, because when you finished dinner you excused yourself to your room. Finishing your reading and the questions.

Unfortunately, you only had your physics homework left. And obviously physics is the best subject to exist. Ever.

It was so awesome that it had you staring into the textbook. Trying to process what the hell they were talking about in the text.

Rereading and rereading again and again, makes you wonder why you even try. Because it seems the only words you understood were the determiners that connected each intricate word.

Sighing, you close your book, leaning back in your desk chair. Closing your eyes you let yourself take a minute break.

It’s silent in your room, letting you focus on the small background noise of your parents conversing, probably talking about work, or you. Usually it’s you.

You didn’t mind though, if they talked bad it wasn’t in front of your face at least.

“Want any help? I dabble.”

You let out a scream, feeling your heart race as his unexpected entrance to your room.

Letting your face contort into a disgusted look you retort, “Jeez, no knock or anything? It’s like you’re out to kill me, Heeseung.”

“I think it’s the other way around, plus you know how good I am, I literally helped you in physics today.”

“No, I don’t want your help. Also “dabble”? Don’t act like you’re an eighty year old man.”

He laughs, raising his arms in surrender before taking a seat on your carpet floor.

You almost feel bad for the man, your nice, cozy bed is sitting right next to him but he sits on the floor. Which you definitely haven’t vacuumed for a while.

Turning back to your textbook you mutter, “You can sit on my bed, just sit on top of the blanket.”

A smile spreads through his face as he plops down onto your blanket, careful not to touch the mattress or any of your pillows. You nod in thanks for not getting his dirty outside clothes on your clean bed.

You’re not sure if he notices or not but he doesn’t say anything so you decide to leave it at that.

Refocusing on the textbook, you reread the words for at least the third time, flipping to the vocabulary page for each word you don’t understand–which was most of them so it must’ve been a funny sight watching your head go between two pages repeatedly.

You start to lose hope quickly, you read the question on your packet then reread the whole page. Scanning for any answer that actually could make sense with the question.

You were starting to enjoy the quiet that Heeseung had given you, whipping your head to see what he was doing to be so abnormally quiet you instead make eye contact.

There’s a weird prolonged moment of silence before you say, “You freak, why were you watching me do my homework?”

His eyes crinkle as he breaks out into a smile, “Was waiting until you would crack.”

“I don’t have any drugs on me.”

“Not that kind, Y/n. Didn’t take you as a bad girl,” He chuckles.

“I’ll be an annoyed girl if you don’t let me finish my work in peace.” You retort, rolling your eyes at whatever he’s implying. His smile turns into a smirk, and just by his face you can tell he has a smart way to annoy you.

“Y’know I could help, if you asked me.”

“Get over here and help me then?” Your eyebrows furrow. You’re ready to watch him rush over to you but instead he stays still.

He crosses his arms, cocking one of his eyebrows, “Asked me with a pretty please.” He adds.

You spin your chair back to the desk, eyes set back to the paper, “Kinky. No thanks.”

He leans back onto your blanket, sighing, “Your loss, we could be done with those questions in twenty minutes if you said so.”

You try not to get your eyes stuck behind your head from the amount of times you’ve rolled your eyes in the past three minutes.

It’s been pretty effective other than the fact you think it would be better to get your eyes stuck to get away from this homework.

You mean, Heeseung wasn’t the worst help last time, right?

Just this once you would ask him a favor.

Spinning around once again, you call out his name.

He looks up at you, instead of the sly smirk you expected, it’s weirdly soft. Whatever, just get this over with.

“Can you help me with this homework, pretty please?”

It sounded a little too desperate for your liking but you definitely were desperate. His soft gaze quickly turns into the smug look you’re used to.

He gets up from your comfortable bed, walking over to you, towering over your seated self.

“You’re on question two?” He stifles a laugh, but you can tell he’s teasing you.

“Oh wow he can read!”

Pointing to your textbook, you look up at him. “Just explain this section to me.”

And he does. You hate to admit it but he really does help. What would’ve taken you hours to finish you had completed it in just under thirty minutes.

Which was very surprising considering that you had a million more questions than answers, but he was patient. Which you didn’t like.

How could he be so patient with you when you’re asking questions like a broken cd? It’s almost suffocating how patient he was, it was like he had completely switched to a different persona.

How weird.

Once you’re finished you both sit on your bed in silence, but it was weirdly comfortable. You didn’t like anything about that guy, so why were you not kicking him out of your room?

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when he decides that it’s time for him to go home, he’s almost out of your room when you gain the courage to call out his name once again.

He stops in your doorframe, turning back to face you. You look down, unable to see–probably a smug look before pausing for a second and muttering, “Thank you.”

You look up again, surprised to see he doesn’t tease you, he doesn’t laugh, he doesn’t ask you to repeat it and yell it to the whole country. Instead he smiles, and nods before walking out your door.

Heeseung is weird, really weird.

“I THINK YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION NOW, Y/N.”

You don’t know how you keep getting into this predicament. Where you’re stuck asking the worst man to exist on how to find the answer to half of the questions but it always happens.

This time you had a plan. Ask literally anyone around you, then the teacher, then maybe the Cheeto crumbs on the floor from previous classes, then Heeseung.

So you tried, but turns out everyone in that class had one big friend group that excluded you and Heeseung so you gave up on that.

Then Ms. Nam. You had grown up the confidence to ask her only for her to reread the question in a stricter tone.

So absolutely no help at all because you had read the problem at least three times, and you definitely couldn’t ask her for help again or else you think she might use her robot powers on you.

Which left you with one live option. Which definitely was the worse out of the two.

“That wasn’t funny.” You huff, you turn your paper so he can see it clearly.

He leans over to your desk, and you don’t miss the way his eyes flicker from your lips to the paper.

He scoots his chair even closer to you, and you try not to flinch at his warmth that seems to fill up your senses all at once. You let out an awkward chuckle to express your uncomfortability, but he keeps reading the question you’re on.

“I told you if you wanted a tutor I could help.”

You huff, “I don’t want your help.”

“But you can’t stop asking for it, huh?” The boy smirks, his eyes locking into yours. He lets out a chuckle–Why was he laughing? Maybe it was your incompetence for physics. Why did you take this course anyways?

Not coming up with a quick enough insult back, you give him an exasperated look. Waiting for him to explain whatever was going on in the class.

Leaning back in your chair, you watch as he tries to explain everything in simple terms. How his hands resemble a model as he describes some kind of motion you can’t name.

After he finishes you look at him with a blank stare.

He lets out a breathy smile, almost awkwardly he waves in your face.

“Y/n, are you listening?”

“No.”

“GOD I HATE HER.”

After a dreadful four periods it was finally lunch, though the cafeteria was never the ideal place to eat–you could talk about the people around you, which came in handy for times like these.

“Sooyun? I still can’t believe she did you like that.” Miyeon sighs, shoving a–soggy fry into her mouth.

Lia nods in agreement, “Wait–catch me up again. She said you flirted with her boyfriend?” She gestures to you with her chin.

You nod angrily, “No but–she literally asked me to hold her drink at the party while she went to the bathroom. But she was gone for literally thirty minutes to god who knows where– So I gave her drink to her boyfriend because I had a curfew!”

Taking a sip of your water, you continue, “And then, she apparently sees our hands touching when I handed him the cup–which was not true, but she totally freaked out and accused me of trying to get with her boyfriend and ruin her relationship.”

Sooyun was your best-friend. She was smart, pretty, sweet–all the good things you could name about a person, would apply to her. Back in middle school you were so envious of her, because everyone liked her, all her crushes–even your crushes liked her.

You didn’t really mind, obviously you were slightly jealous but so was everyone else. Everything was going well between the two of you until you had started wearing makeup, and styling your hair. And people started liking you more.

All of the sudden she had become really self conscious around you, constantly reminding you that you were so pretty and she wasn’t. You didn’t really mind, of course–in fact you understood it and always denied her comments, after all you felt it about her just a few months back.

Then she had gotten a boyfriend, and totally distanced herself from you. There was nothing you could do except watch, she hadn’t done anything to you, so why hate her?

That’s until you found out that she had been talking bad and spreading rumors about you, that was when your boat had finally tipped, and you cut her off a week after that party.

That was four months ago, but somehow the wound was still fresh from the fact that–your childhood best-friend had totally dropped you the second she found a boy.

Miyeon’s eyes light up, “Oh! I remember that! Lia, that was the party where you did purple eyeshadow and someone asked if you got a black eye.”

The group bursts into laughter, you wince at the feeling of Lia’s hand hitting you a few times while laughing.

You three move on to new topics, Miyeon talks about whatever new thing her mom is buying her for an event, which reminds the other two of you to talk about something else. You all cut each other off with new stories or opinions to tell. But it works for the three of you.

That’s until Lia stops her story-telling abruptly as her eyes get caught onto something behind you. She immediately stops moving, Miyeon follows Lia’s eyes and catches on too, smugly smiling at the sight. You almost feel like you’re missing something.

“Why are you guys so weird? Don’t tell me Sooyun’s coming up to us.”

They exchange looks, and Miyeon starts, “Your boy-toy is totally staring at you right now,” She giggles.

Whipping your head around you don’t see anyone, turning back to them you watch them with confused looks.

Lia raises her eyebrows, “Lee Heeseung? Ring any bells? Blue hoodie, glasses–”

Cutting her off you whip your head around to see, As she said–Lee Heeseung staring at you, eyes widening once he’s realized that you found out about it. His friends, who you think are Sunghoon, Jake, and Jay don’t seem to pay any attention to him at the moment.

You study his features. You like the way his hair falls around his glasses– or how his hoodie looks just perfectly baggy, you would ask him where he got it if he wasn’t the most annoying person alive–Are you going insane? Did you seriously just compliment him?

His face contorts into something different, a smile. His friends give him teasing nudges but he ignores them.

Instead Heeseung chuckles like he always does for some reason and you give him an almost disgusted look, breaking literal air molecules as you turn back to look at your friends with an irritated expression.

Beat that physics.

Miyeon lets out a high pitched giggle, and Lia hit’s you even more, speaking nonsense and acting like he’s in love with you and vice versa or something. You wince at the feeling, hitting Lia as revenge.

You’re not sure why they’re freaking out, it’s just Heeseung. The guy who’s been annoying you since you were eight. The guy who everyone knows that you have something against. But the knocking you’re feeling from Lia’s hand says anything otherwise.

You’re not in love with Heeseung, you don’t even like him. You can’t stand his little smug smile or voice–you hate both. You can’t stand that his glasses style never seemed to change for the last six years he’s had them. You can’t stand how he’s so much smarter than you and makes sure you know it.

You can’t stand Heeseung.

He’s like a leech, one that you can’t seem to get off of you. From tutoring to him staring at you whenevers convenient. You’re starting to think he lives to annoy you.

“You can’t tell me he’s not cute.”

Miyeon’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you resist the urge to look back at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of you looking twice.

“I’m telling you now.” You retort, and the lie flows easily through your teeth.

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE COME TO THE PARTY.

The idea seemed fun at first. Letting yourself be irresponsible after weeks of not doing illegal shit and not getting caught. You weren’t the party type but everyone had asked you to come to this party.

Everyone–meaning Lia and Miyeon–had begged you to come to this “rager” (their words not yours), but you had let them run off and do whatever irresponsible things they could think of.

And now you knew you definitely weren’t the party type.

You stood in the corner watching as everyone was either having the best time of their life or the worst time (you) and no in between. The bright disco lights had you wincing every few seconds when it was directed straight for your eyes.

Clutching your drink, you gulp another sip of it, feeling a slight burn as it runs down your throat.

Everyone was singing to some song that you didn’t know, like it was a classic or something. You swayed slightly in the corner, trying to feel whatever everyone else was feeling.

Pulling down your white mini skirt, you had wished that you hadn’t worn something so cute to something so not-cute.

You give the people making out nasty looks as you try to find someone you know and like–which sadly totalled to two people.

Feeling a little bit like a loser, you decide it’s time for yourself to leave. You find a random trash bag that is–seemingly, full of garbage and drop it in there.

Letting out a sigh of relief you scan everywhere for your two friends, you can see them having a ball dancing in the middle of a crowded pit. Walking up to the edge of it Miyeon’s eyes lock into yours, and you give her a signal that you are going to leave.

She sends you a thumbs up, then blows a kiss at you before repeating the words to Lia then pointing at you.

Lia shakes her head sluggishly, like you would absolutely change her experience if you left. You gave her a confused look, signaling again that you were leaving. Instead this time you turned around, not waiting for her approval.

Then, you look around for an exit to this absolute hell. You can see the door behind a crowd of people and it seems like it’s glowing in your eyes (or maybe it was the few cups of that god nasty punch you had). Whatever it was, it felt like it would be the exit to your grave.

You’re thankful that you didn’t wear big heels to this place, because you could barely even walk in a straight line–Let alone walk.

Somehow dragging yourself to the crowd of people blocking the exit, taking a sigh, you start to push yourself through this apocalypse.

You’re abruptly pushed into someone. Massaging the shoulder that was shoved, you look back to see the person you bumped into.

“Oh my gosh–I’m so sorry-”

Sooyun.

Your eyes widen, and it seems like your throat has gone dry.

She gives you the nastiest glare you’ve ever seen, fixing her hair before she scoffs, “What the hell is wrong with you? I have a drink in my hand y’know!” She waves the bright red cup tauntingly in your face. Taking a messy sip from it.

You watch as the red liquid drips down her chin and onto the floor, your eyebrows furrow at the weird sight, “Sorry, ‘got pushed into you.”

You weren’t really sorry, obviously. But you wanted to cut off any conversation with her as soon as possible.

“You’re such a bitch. You flirt with my boyfriend then you bump into me and make me spill my drink over my dress? You can’t stop asking for attention, huh?”

You scan her body, only seeing a drop of the red drink that has been on her own accord, looking up at her angry eyes it reminds you of the look she gave you during that party.

You were getting deja vu.

“Sooyun, that was an accident,” You argue, pointing at her, you continue. “And stop calling me an attention seeker when I have told you thousands of times that I wanted nothing to do with your frog-looking boyfriend!”

She gasps, quickly collecting herself to answer.

“You’re sorry?”

“For bumping into you, can you leave me alone?”

“See how I feel and then I’ll accept it.”

Sooyun launches her cup at you, you flinch, covering your face so your hair doesn’t get super sticky.

She laughs like a witch, then you feel the stickiness all over your clothes.

Looking down you see your outfit stained red from the forbidden fruit punch that she has–or had in her drink. Watching as the drink drips down your legs you try not to cry at the feeling.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You yell, trying to find an ounce of guilt in her expression only to find nothing.

“Well I said-”

Cutting her off, you yell, “This is not about the drink, this is about you. Calling me an attention seeker because I wanted to hang out while you had a boyfriend? Sorry–should’ve realized that you would’ve left me for any guy that looked at you since you were “so ugly”, right?”

She scoffs, trying to avoid looking at you. You take an exasperated breath, almost not believing that she would do something like this to you.

You continue anyways, “Well have you wondered why you can’t seem to find anyone that likes you? Because you do shit like this.” Gesturing to your stained red clothing, you look at her in disgust.

“So instead of calling me an attention seeker. Remind yourself that the last time anyone genuinely liked you was in middle school when you weren’t a fucking bitch.”

Your words were slightly slurred when you yelled that out, but she seemed to understand every single letter of it. She stands in silence, with an unamused face, you can’t tell if she’s thinking of what to say next or waiting for you to be finished.

You wish you could slap her, hit her, or really do anything to get your anger out. But the most you can do is yell, because you know that every second after you would regret doing that.

You can’t stand to look at her. Or anyone or anything at this stupid party, pushing her away from you, you walk as fast as you can without damaging your feet so you finally reach the pearly gates of heaven, the exit. And you push open the door, feeling the cold gust of wind blow through your legs.

Even though you’ve finally seemed to make her feel somewhat bad. You don't feel satisfied at all. In Fact you feel empty. You feel guilty. You feel as if you just shamed a person who’s just trying their best to fit in.

You shouldn’t feel guilty. But you do. But your mind feels like it’s being torn apart whether you should feel that way. Though now every little thing that irked you tonight seemed to be adding up now. Because you can’t stop the one single tear drop from spilling from your eyes.

Wiping it as quickly as you can. You look back to see if she followed you, only to be met with the nausea of the party running back to you. You need to go home.

Though everything seems to be going wrong for you tonight, because 1. you’re drunk and can’t drive home. And 2. you don’t have a car.

Squinting your eyes at the bright light emitting from your phone, you scroll through your contacts to find the one person you could call.

You dread hearing the ringing, it rings one, two, three times before it’s answered, your eye catches the time on the screen. 1:42. Ignoring it, you put the phone up to your ear.

“Y/n,” Even though it’s so late he has a light tone. “I knew you liked me but not this much.”

You burst into tears.

Processing the situation, he exclaims, “I’m so sorry!” He frantically answers.

“I didn't mean to make you cry—Y/n are you okay? Where are you right now? Are you safe?” He bombards you with so many questions but you can’t seem to find the strength to answer them all.

Through your hiccups and sniffles, you mumble into the phone, “I didn’t know who else to call.”

Hearing lots of shuffling from his side, you can assume he’s getting out of his bed. “Y/n I’ll come pick you up, where are you?”

“Yeonjun’s party. I-I’m sitting on the edge of the sidewalk.” You say through sniffles.

You can hear him let out a breathy smile, “You shouldn’t get that pretty outfit dirty by sitting on the sidewalk, is there somewhere else for you to sit?” He talks to you as if you were some kind of child, but you’re too exhausted to mind at the moment.

Standing up immediately, you lazily wipe off any rocks that could’ve gotten onto your clothes, “My skirt is already dirty, and my feet hurt” You whine into the phone, trying to wipe off the big red splatter on your white skirt.

The phone goes silent for a couple of seconds, and you don’t think you can take it.

“Seung, I’m sorry”

Seung. That’s the first time you’ve called him any nick name other than annoying. Heeseung smiles at the name, glad that you can’t see his rosy cheeks.

“For what, angel?”

The name slips by your ears, because you’re too focused on trying to stop your hiccups and talk rather than focus on a swoony nickname that he had just said.

“I’m sorry for calling you and-“ Another cry comes out of you, taking a pause, you start again “And I-I’m sorry for asking you for so much help in physics because I suck at it-“

“Y/n how much have you drunk?”

The car engine growls softly in the background of the call. You start walking in a circle though you can’t stop from tripping over yourself every couple of seconds, wondering if you had taken three or four cups of that punch.

“Only like three cups of that weird punch” You slur, your mind is brought back Sooyun, and your vision turns hazy, your hiccups start again and you feel like everything around you is suffocating you but the small voice coming from your phone.

“Heeseung.”

“Yes, angel?”

“Talk please. Anything–I don’t care. Just say something to get my mind off myself.”

“Okay.”

You pace around in circles listening to Heeseung’s smooth voice, chuckling at some of his smart remarks or his embarrassing stories that he knows he’ll regret telling to you. The hiccups soon fade away and are turned into small giggles of his silly remarks.

You must've done at least one hundred rounds around the imaginary circle you're tracing. Even though your feet hurt like hell and your heel is definitely about to break, you repeat the cycle. Waiting for a familiar man-

“I’m here, look to your left.”

Whipping your head to the left, you can see the outline of him. His black glasses caught your gaze and still somehow he looked good when he had just woken up. His arms are spread wide open, waiting to be filled.

You run into his arms.

Wrapping your arms around his neck you hug him as if he’d turn around and leave if you let him get a single breath of air.

He gently places one hand on the lower part of your back, the other hand he uses to tuck your head into the space between his shoulder and neck.

Heeseung is warm.

One word you never thought you would describe him as. Though hundreds of positive words seem to be spilling through your mind at the moment and you can’t help but close your eyes, and cry.

You can feel a wet spot growing where your face is but Heeseung doesn’t seem to care. You had fully expected him to push you away when your tears came rushing down again but instead he pulls you in tighter.

Mumbling nonsense into his shoulder you let the whole story out. Sooyun, the music that was too loud, the punch that had your legs moving awkwardly because of the stickiness–Everything.

He doesn’t laugh at you, he doesn’t offer advice, he doesn’t push your gross, wet face away, he doesn’t laugh at you for being such an emotional drunk. He listens. Just silence, with a few hushed mumbles of how you’re going to be okay.

You had always been given advice instead of a listening ear, and you never knew how nice it felt until now.

He pulls away slightly, wiping your tears as he whispers, “Let’s go home. Okay?”

You nod.

You’re mentally preparing yourself for your feet to shoot pain through your body when Heeseung picks you up. You scream, quickly slapping your hand against your mouth as you’ve disrupted the people leaving around you.

He picks you up easily, as if you were a feather. He bridal-style carries you to the car.

You hate yourself for getting so red because of him.

“You said your feet hurt, right?” He places you gently into the passenger seat of the car.

You hate how you can’t form a response. Your brain is too fuzzy from the alcohol and him to give him anything but a nod.

He just smiles at you, closing the passenger door.

The drive to your house is silent. A comfortable silence. Because you don’t think you could make any conversation while he has a warm hand on your thigh.

He stops in front of your house, parking the car then rushing over to your side, picking you up just to walk you to your door.

The story is a blur in your eyes, but before you know it, you’ve changed into your pajamas with a clean, bare face. Snuggly tucked into the comfort of your bed.

“THIS IS FAKE, RIGHT? YOU’RE KIDDING.”

You huff, “I’m serious Miyeon! Can you believe he saw me while I was crying my heart out? I thought pigs would fly before that ever happened.”

Lia raises an eyebrow, “But he comforted you didn’t he? I don’t see the problem.”

When you had woken up with a horrible headache and puffy eyes. You thought you had just cried so hard the last night that it was headache inducing. Trying to remember whatever you did last night you had found one of your blue sticky notes planted on your bedside table.

call me okay? let me know if you’re okay – heeseung

You had ripped the paper in half.

You were definitely not going to call him. Or contact him in any way.

That blue sticky note had brought out every single detail about the night before, and you’re left wishing to forget it again. You sigh at the bright blue sticking out in the trash, you were never going to drink again.

“The problem isn’t that he comforted me! The problem is that he’s going to tease me about this until the day I die–I mean, he can’t even help me with physics without poking fun at me.”

Lia sighs–Which you don’t appreciate at all but you stay silent. “Y/n, this is different.”

“How!” You exclaim, covering your face in shame.

“It’s different that you’re in completely different moods. Obviously he might tease you about something when you’re in a good mood. But when you’re fucking bawling your eyes out–anyone would get the hint that you probably shouldn’t joke around about stuff like that.” She argues, and you don’t want to agree, but her point makes sense.

You shake your head anyways, “But it’s Heeseung we’re talking about here! The guy who laughed at me when I started crying at the dinner table years ago.”

Miyeon chips in, “Yeah–years ago, he’s not going to be the same immature boy he was in seventh grade! And I’ve talked to him a couple times, he’s so nice. I don’t know why you hate him so much.”

Groaning, you’re annoyed by how they don’t understand your perspective.

Heeseung, from all the years you’ve known him. He’s been this snarky boy who’s always acted like the perfect boy to everyone else. You can’t help but feel jealous of him because everyone likes him. He’s perfect for everyone. Smart, funny, handsome. All the good qualities a person could have.

And you can’t stand it.

You’ve seen through his facade since the first day you met to now. And it’s left you wondering if he was just a good actor or he’s a sweet angel to everyone but you.

But you couldn’t care less. You hate him, end of story. Nothing will ever change that.

“I don’t think I can ever face him again.” You admit. You’re so embarrassed. So embarrassed that he was the only person who had ever seen you in such a vulnerable state.

“Y/n don’t be dramatic” Miyeon sighs.

“I’m not!”

Furrowing their eyebrows, they both give each other a look. As if they were communicating through their brains and they had blocked you out.

“What? Why are you looking at each other like that?” You exclaim. Brushing your hair behind your ears, your mouth transforms into a scowl.

Lia has a cheeky smile on her face, “I mean, if you hate him so much, why did you call him? Out of anyone you could’ve called?”

You scoff, “You think I have friends? Who else would I have called?”

“I thought you said earlier that you didn’t hesitate to call him though? Why would he be your first choice if he was the bane of your existence?”

You can’t think of an answer for that. And you have no idea why.

HEESEUNG ALMOST THOUGHT IT WAS A DREAM.

He knew you didn’t like him, or he thought he knew. So why did you seem so ready to open up? Or didn’t mind the amount of touch he had done or the amount of care he had provided? Heeseung was lost. So lost.

He kept telling himself, You were drunk or You had no idea what you were doing. But something inside him, a creeping feeling he had had told him that it wasn’t true. And that he was some sort of comfort to you.

Heeseung could almost smile at the thought. Being the first person you would call for anything, not even just comfort. If something had happened like you had seen a cute cat on the street or you tripped on a rock. He would want to be the first to know.

He had been in love with you since you had met. He tried his best to help you out but it always resulted in failure. He wasn’t sure why, or what he did. But he seemed to keep messing up, because you had never forgiven him.

Your parents had never lost contact with each other, but after that first encounter you had never seemed to talk to him again. Or any interactions would end up in dirty looks or straight up arguments.

It’s a shame that he’s so hopelessly in love with you. He didn’t know it when you had first met but one day it shined upon him and brought light to his day. He loved your warm smile when you were with your friends, that face you make whenever you’re focused on something, your stubbornness and refusal to take help (especially from him), and how you speak your mind whenever.

How long could you hold grudges?

It worried him. Because Heeseung just loves you. And everyday it had been itching him to say something, but his fear of rejection–which he knew would happen–would remove his hopes of ever even having a normal relationship–even a friendship with you.

When you had called him that night, he thought he was reading your name wrong.

Then when he had rubbed his eyes countless times he answered the phone.

Answering the phone, his first reaction was to tease you. Why would you be calling him in the middle of the night?

He definitely did not expect to hear you sobbing your eyes out. And before he knew it, running his ass off trying to get to his car as fast as possible. To get to you as fast as possible.

He didn’t tell you that he had his friends over that night.

The relief he had felt when he had finally reached you couldn’t be expressed in any form. The warmth he felt when hugging you had made his heart beat so fast he thought he was going to die.

When he wiped away your tears he felt like he was dying, it was too intimate, and as happy as he was that he was there to comfort you. He knew that you would regret it the day after.

“Do you think she meant it?” Heeseung asks. Voicing the thought that had been taking over his mind for hours and hours.

“I mean,” Jake answers, “Drunk words are sober thoughts?”

Heeseung sighs.

“If she’s sorry that means she doesn’t hate you, right? Because she feels bad?” Jay adds, giving Heeseungs shoulder a slap of reassurance.

“Heeseung you’re crazy for leaving your friends who’re sleeping over at your house. I expect an apology with tears next time.” Sunghoon rolls his eyes.

“Hey I came back didn’t I?” He argues, crossing his arms.

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. “Apology with tears.”

Heeseung thinks he hates Sunghoon more than you hate him.

YOUR PACKAGE WAS SUPPOSED TO ARRIVE TODAY.

You had run to check the mailbox immediately after school, unlocking the key you were supposed to see a small package containing the lip tints you had bought two weeks ago, only to be disappointed when you were met with a sea of envelopes.

Rolling your eyes at the sight you walked back to your house, with a head full of disappointment

It was hard to focus on your homework when you were checking your phone for any updates on if it had arrived at your home or not.

And you were getting frustrated to see the only notifications you had were from your social media.

That is until you checked your phone the fifteenth time, and you heard the doorbell ring.

Running down the stairs, “I’ll get it!” You yell, unlocking the door.

Your package was being held by someone.

Your package was being held by Heeseung.

Heeseung was at your door. Holding your package.

“Hey Y/n! Can we come in?” Ms. Lee asks.

You snap out of your daze, “Yeah of course!” Moving to the side for them to walk in, “Sorry I didn’t know you guys were coming.”

Heeseung waves at you awkwardly and you can’t find it in you to wave back. Snatching the package from your hands you walk them to the living room. Then when you were out of focus, you bolted to your room.

Catching your breath you rip open the bag. Feeling excitement bubble inside you when you see the packaging you’ve been waiting for for weeks.

Trying on all the colors you bought, you’re pleasantly surprised to see that all of them look good on you.

Lifting the gloss with a squeal, you put them all safely on your desk, to be used another day.

Looking in the mirror at yourself you realize how not-pretty you look. You quickly curl your lashes slightly, and brush through the tangled and messed parts of your hair so you don’t look like a total mess in front of the guests at your house.

You’re not sure why you care so much. It’s just Heeseung and his family for god sakes. But you can’t help but put a dot of tint on your lips. You don’t want to look bad in front of the guy you hated so much?

You can’t believe he hasn’t mentioned the party in front of you yet. Instead he looks at you with pitiful eyes like he actually cares. You hate that. You hate him. But he’s still in your house downstairs. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Walking down the stairs, you spot Heeseung in the kitchen.

You’re confused on why he’s there until you see him cutting up scallions as a finishing touch. He’s helping your parents cook?

The last time he was fine with sitting in your room. So why was he avoiding it now?

He looks up at you watching him, he lets out a breathy laugh before looking back down. Focusing on not cutting off any of his fingers.

You despise the fact that he acts like there is nothing weird between the two of you. How you hate each other yet he was your first call to comfort you. You don’t like how laid back he is about the whole situation.

But, you keep quiet. Nodding to him you walk up to your mom. Asking if she needs any assistance cooking. She shakes her head no, but asks you to set the table.

Grabbing napkins, you place them in front of each seat before grabbing utensils and bowls. Repeating the process again.

You sit in your usual spot, but you think you’ve gotten something wrong when Heeseung takes the seat right next to yours which rightfully belongs to your mom.

You look at him with a raised eyebrow and he whispers, “They wanted us to sit together for some reason.” He shrugs.

Rolling your eyes, you take a sip of water to hide the fact that your cheeks were heating up.

When everyone is sitting down and eating. You realize that you had zero appetite at all. Picking at your food, you eat at a snail's pace while everyone is eating like a cheetah's.

You pretend to eat your food while contributing in the conversation whenever you’re mentioned. You take another bite once the taste is gone from your lips.

You haven’t realized how slow you’ve been eating until you see that everyone has finished eating except you and Heeseung. They had moved on to cleaning, or watching the ongoing golf game.

You also hadn’t realized that his knees were brushing yours.

The table is silent, and awkward. Looking at him ever so often, you’re embarrassed to make eye contact with him every time. Looking away as soon as you spot his eyes looking at yours.

“Hey Y/n.” He says, attempting to break the weird tension between the two of you.

You hum in response, finally gaining the courage to look back at him.

“Are you okay? If you want to talk about the whole “Sooyun” situation I’ll listen.”

You almost choke on your food. “No, I don't want to talk about it. Sorry I called you–I guess.”

He chuckles. Chuckles. You’re cut off by the small laugh he lets out, looking at him in disbelief for laughing at your oh so vulnerable state.

Your cheeks have never felt more warm.

“You’re a pretty crier, angel.”

He walks away before you could make one of your snarky remarks back. But for some reason, all you can think of is Heeseung and his weird smirk.

YOU WEREN’T SURE IF YOU HAD GOTTEN WORSE AT PHYSICS

But it certainly felt like it. Because you’re handed a random vocab quiz that you had definitely forgotten about–Not like studying would help– and you don’t understand any of the questions.

Some of them, you get lucky and know the other answer to. But a majority of the other answers were guesses with a randomly thrown in “i don’t know! sorry :(”

Yeah you were definitely failing this class.

Taking a break from the measly black text, you look at the people around you taking the test. Trying to see if they’re struggling as much as you are. Turning your head to the right you see Heeseung working on a question two ahead of you.

Sighing to yourself he looks up at you. He turns his paper to you with a teasing smile so that you could read it.

You try to read everything you can before whipping your head back to your paper so you don't have to interact with him more.

You erase half your paper before rewriting his answers with an explanation you think makes sense.

Scribbling and hoping that you’re doing things right, you apply that same logic to the rest of the paper.

Taking a deep breath before you walk up to Ms. Nam. You’re not the first one to finish, but definitely one of the earlier ones. She gives you a pointed look before snatching your paper.

Feeling a weight added onto your shoulders, you sit back down at your seat contemplating why you’re failing such a simple class.

Maybe it’s because Robots don’t know how to teach. But that was definitely false. Because why would Tim and Moby exist?

You tried to think of the better possibilities that could come of this test. Like maybe you’re guessing actually worked and you would get anything over a 80.

Or maybe you would fail out of the class and be forever known as the girl who couldn’t pass physics-

A chuckle comes from your right, you whip your head around to see Heeseung turning his head back at his paper.

Following his line of eyes, you see the answers on his quiz that he was almost done with.

You had gotten at least half of the third page different from Heeseung’s. But maybe he got the question wrong–Who were you kidding? Heeseung would never get half the paper wrong.

Looking up at the teacher's desk, you happily discover that her line of sight was being blocked by two students still working on the quiz.

Carefully, you take your phone out and open the group chat.

you :

guys i totally BOMBED that physics test oh lord

miyeonieee :

LMFAOOO we gotta get u a tutor or something

diarlia :

shes already got a tutor iykwim…

you :

heeseung is NOT my tutor.

diarlia :

notice how i didn’t even mention heeseung

i was going to say like jake or something

yn :

oh sure u were…

miyeonieee :

oh yeah hes good at physics

kinda forgot about him LOLL

you :

i can’t ask him to be my tutor i dont even know the guy

miyeonieee :

hes one of heeseungs bffs girl what

you :

its not like i keep a roster on him hello

diarlia :

you don’t need to cause you think of him 24/7 AYYYY

you :

girl stfu no i dont

You close the group chat.

Looking up from your phone you notice Heeseung turning his paper in, he turns back—locking eyes with you.

Time seems to still, just for a moment. You give him a dirty look, and he returns it with a small smile. When he sits down in his seat, his attention elsewhere is when you smile back. You don’t realize it for a few seconds, but when you do, you drop it completely.

You don’t know why but you’re starting to think you’re being too mean to Heeseung.

TODAY YOU’RE SKIPPING DINNER WITH THE LEE’S

You weren’t sure why you hadn’t thought of it before. But as you walked into the library, you felt a sense of relief.

It’s not like you hated having them over, you just hated having him over. They used to be rare dinners, where you and Heeseung would only talk if absolutely necessary. And you were fine with keeping it that way. But your mother and his had different plans, because it’s apparent that they had become super close again.

Dinners used to be once every few months, but recently it has become once every few weeks, sometimes even two weeks in a row.

Which meant that Heeseung would be staying in your room for a few hours every few weeks. And it felt weird.

It was new. A change that you couldn’t force yourself to like.

So you ran away.

Just for a little bit of course. Until they stopped coming over, and Heeseung stopped hanging out in your room.

You had gone to the library to study. Maybe even read a textbook to understand a single thing about anything you were learning about Physics. Because it took you all your power to ask Heeseung for help, and it left you none to actually consume the knowledge he was giving you.

Today you decided that you were done asking for Heeseung’s help.

Scanning the library for different sections, you realize that you weren’t sure why you had never thought of studying at the library. The warm hues and the comforting sight of organization had never felt more pleasant. Finding a deserted seat you set your stuff down. Pulling out materials you would need.

After organizing your notebook and pencils, you mindlessly walk through each aisle. Postponing the actual study session.

The library is eerily quiet today. Though all libraries are meant to be quiet, there seems to be no pen clicking or keyboard clicking sounds.

You then realize that the library is filled with only a handful of people. And they’re all spread out throughout the room.

Walking in the aisle that you were supposed to look for, your eyes catch sight at the couple at the end of the aisle.

No, it’s not a couple. You then recognize that it’s Heeseung. The man who had made you ditch dinner at your house had also decided to be at the library today. You curse yourself for your bad luck.

Your eyes trail to the girl next to him. Too close to him for comfort. She looks up from the textbook to whisper something softly to him. Her hand touches his arms as they’re laughing. But Heeseung tenses up.

Wait.

That’s Sooyun.

Heeseung was with Sooyun at the library.

Sooyun was flirting with Heeseung.

Your Heeseung.

And what seems like the worst timing possible, you spot the textbook you were looking for. Right at the end of the aisle, right in front of Heeseung and Sooyun.

They haven’t noticed you yet, so slowly walking–careful not to make any noise. You dip down to the bottom shelf. Pulling out the textbook you need.

Okay all you have to do is stand back up and walk away and you’re good-

“Oh hey Y/n!” May Zeus strike you down–

Whipping your head back to Heeseung’s cheering voice, you strain a small smile, waving at him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at dinner?” He asks.

“Why aren’t you at dinner?’ You retort, standing up from your squat.

He chuckles, “Tutoring, remember?” He gestures to Sooyun who gives you a smile–a bitchy one that’s for sure.

Fuck, you forgot he had tutoring.

“Right.” You nod, you’re about to depart when Sooyun cuts you off.

“Hey Y/n you get that stain out of your skirt yet? It’s really too bad that skirt was white, huh?” She laughs.

You’re not sure how to respond. You seem to be going blank a lot these days. You aren’t sure whether it’d be a good idea to punch her–which you want to do. Or if you should walk away like a civilized person.

“Don’t run out and start crying, Y/n! It was just a joke!” She continues. Feigning innocence.

She saw you crying. She saw you run out and start crying. Gosh it’s not like that night could get any worse. You’re sure Heeseung would step up to defend you, I mean–he heard your rant, and he even took the initiative to comfort you and get you ready for bed.

That’s until you hear a chuckle.

Heeseung just laughed at her joke.

Your shame soon turns into frustration. How could he just laugh along like you weren’t sobbing your eyes out to him literally minutes after?

Heeseung says something but you just miss it. Though it seems to be directed to Sooyun with a smile on his face.

“Shut the fuck up, Sooyun. Leave me alone.”

Before you know it you’ve turned and started walking back to your seat. You’re surprised your body remembered to bring your textbook with you. Because your mind was still processing the situation.

Sure, it was obvious Sooyun was going to bite back somehow. But watching Heeseung laugh along with her jokes hurts. And you don’t know why.

It’s obviously something he would do.

But for a second, you thought he had changed. You thought that he was turning a new leaf instead of the little boy who found joy in you knowing that he was smarter than you, but it turns out, nothing had changed at all.

You still hate that little boy version of him. And you still hate him now.

Though you had never liked the boy, disappointment blooms inside you. Catching you off guard like a lightning bolt, waiting to strike.

It’s an hour later when you decide to pack up and go home.

You had told your mom two hours at least–that this time you would actually look into the work for once. But that scene replayed in your mind like a broken cd. It took over your thoughts, making you rethink everything you thought you knew about him.

It’s made you realize that you don’t feel disappointed. You feel betrayed. You feel betrayed that he laughed at a joke at your expense.

It doesn’t make sense to you, why were you feeling betrayed anyways? You didn’t even like the boy.

Maybe you were being dramatic, maybe you were thinking about it too hard, maybe he forgot your rant to him.

Or maybe he only felt pity for you after the party.

You didn’t want to be pitied. You didn’t want to be pitied by him. So you did what you should’ve done–at least–twenty minutes ago, and left.

Driving home, you blast the music to cover your overwhelming thoughts. Turning into your driveway, you stop the car. Slamming the door too hard on your way out, you wince at the sound.

Walking in, you begrudgingly wave to everyone at the table, avoiding eye contact with your mom before you run upstairs to your room.

You didn’t want to cry about something so stupid. That would just be proving Sooyun’s point. So instead, you laid down in your bed, and slept.

HEESEUNG HADN’T SEEN YOU IN THE HALLS THE DAY AFTER.

His eyes scanned everyone that walked past his friend group–he was listening to the conversation of course–but it was a little obvious that he was preoccupied.

“Heeseung?”

Fuck.

“Sorry, what did you say?” He asks. Eyes off the few people passing them but now on Jake’s.

He rolls his eyes, which Heeseung kind of deserves, then says, “How was your tutoring session with Sooyun? Hope she didn’t badly flirt with you like she did with all of her other math tutors.”

His eyebrows furrow, “No I don’t think she did. Just a little too friendly I think.”

“She definitely was, I don’t even need to see you two to know,” Sunghoon says, “He was too busy thinking of Y/n anyways.”

His eyes widened as his head whipped towards Sunghoon. He felt his cheeks heat up at his comment. He was thinking of you during the tutor session, but that was beside the point!

That’s when he sees you. Your hair was perfectly down, and you were carrying your physics book. Heading to–what he assumed was–your shared first period.

You pass by him, eyes following yours, he waves. But, you don’t wave back–which he was accustomed to even if you rolled your eyes right after–instead, you turn your head away with a disgusted look on your face. Almost like you’re embarrassed that he was waving to you.

He gets nudged by Jay and that snaps him back to life. Jay teases him but his eyes are still following yours, watching you turn the corner and escape his view.

“I thought you were on good terms?” Jake asks, eyes gesturing to the spot you had just left.

“What?”

Jake looks around, “She looked kind of mad at you.”

“I don’t know what I did, maybe she’s still embarrassed about the party.” He sighs, rubbing his temple.

Heeseung can usually tell what most people are thinking. He has labeled himself as an observant person in his mind. But with all three of his friends staring at him like he was an alien. He definitely knew there was something he wasn’t getting.

He puts his hand down. Raising his eyebrows instead, “Why are you all looking at me weird?”

Jay’s mouth parts slightly, and Heeseung swears he sees a fly run in. “Dude—You’re saying you saw Y/n at the library?”

“Yes? What about it?”

“And you’re wondering why she’s avoiding you?”

“Is it because she thought she looked bad? Because if it’s that then she’s wrong because she looked-“

“Heeseung. You’re really making it obvious you’ve never talked to a woman before.” Jake buts in.

He was totally lost now.

“Heeseung.” Sunghoon starts, “Who do you think you were tutoring?”

“Oh shit.”

Heeseung was stupid—apparently. Because even though he swears he’s an observant person, he didn't notice how ignorant he was.

Another problem, he doesn’t know how to approach you and explain himself.

He watches as you sit down next to him, not even glancing at him before you put your head down

Pushing his glasses back, he forces himself to look up at the board.

Well—he tries. But his eyes keep lingering to you, who might just be the most gorgeous person to ever exist.

He raises his hand to answer a question Ms. Nam asks. He gets it right as always, but he doesn’t see you roll your eyes at him. Which nudges him in the wrong way.

Ms. Nam gives out a digital assignment, which he loves but you can’t seem to be bothered to do it.

He’s halfway through the assignment when he sees you pull out your laptop, clicking random keys to turn it on.

It’s almost dead. He watches as you search your backpack for a charger, only to be disappointed when you don’t have one.

“I have a charger, if you want to use it.”

Heeseung waits almost anxiously for your reply. Unzipping the compartment already before you answer.

“No.”

He doesn’t know how to react. He’s nervous to be around you when you’re upset–and in general–so he chuckles. Horrible timing—like always but he does that when he’s anxious.

“Okay, let me know if you need one.” He says, trying to offer a warm smile, in hopes of you returning one.

“I don’t. Leave me alone.” You don’t even spare him a glance.

He knows you’ll be annoyed. But he would never want to leave you alone—or avoid you, he wouldn’t even dream of it.

“I JUST—CAN’T BELIEVE HE LAUGHED!”

Yes—you were still upset. You had been avoiding him all day because you couldn’t even think about snapping about him. You would feel so guilty.

You were good at holding grudges. Why you hated Heeseung for so long was because a stupid grudge from when you were seven. You had always held little things against Heeseung for years on end. And it had built into this void of hatred for you.

But for some reason, you don’t think this grudge will last long.

“What an asshole. Next time I see him you’ll have to hold me back.” Lia says.

You let out a breathy laugh, taking a chip from the bag in front of you.

The salty flavor sits on your tongue for a few seconds, you chew it, swallowing it as you take another from the bag. You think at the rate you’re all eating at you’ll finish the bag of chips in five minutes.

Miyeon swallows her chip, rubbing her greasy hand on a napkin when she says, “So why are you upset? I thought you didn’t like either of them.”

“I do!”

“So why would them–hanging out together be a problem?”

You sigh, “I don’t know! It just irks me the wrong way–Plus he laughed at her joke! Even though he knows that I was super upset that day.”

You’re not sure why it bugs you so much. You tried to convince yourself that it’s because two people you didn’t like were hanging out and flirting. But you knew that wasn’t it.

You knew that you were so hurt by Heeseung for laughing more than you were by Sooyun for making that joke because that’s how Sooyun is. She tries to drag people down whenever she’s not given everyone's attention, then she acts like the nicest girl to exist when it is. You were foolish enough to fall for it, but you didn’t think Heeseung would be.

Heeseung is smart. There's no point in denying it. Heeseung is a genius. When he tries to be–And he flaunts it. So him falling easily for such a simple facade had you questioning everything you knew about him.

You thought he hated you. As much as you hated him. You thought he only approached you to annoy you just like the day you met. After you had called him crying you thought he had a change of heart, or maybe he actually didn’t hate you all this time.

It was obvious that out of the two of you, that you were the less smart one. But after being manipulated by your ex best friend so many times. You thought you could tell the difference between a real–genuine interaction or a fake one.

Turns out you were just as stupid as you thought.

“Y/n if you hate him because he’s rude, why would he offer to tutor you? Or he picked you up after the party and got you ready for bed? Or even the time he helped you with your homework? Why would he do that if he was such an evil person who hated you?”

“I don’t know. He’s weird.”

“Y/n.” Lia huffs, “Why would he be doing these things even though you’ve been rude to him?”

“I don’t know! What are you trying to say?”

“Y/n. The boy likes you.”

You snort, “That’s not funny.”

“I didn’t make any jokes.” Lia deadpans.

Your head spirals trying to process the new information. He loves to annoy you–why would he want to annoy you if he liked you?

You try to think of every interaction you’ve ever had. Racking your brain on how this could even be a possibility. This is Heeseung. The same guy who would look at you weird when you were passing by.

Wait. He stared at you weirdly. But it wasn’t a death glare. You didn’t know what it was. But you swear you could feel imaginary puzzle pieces together, as you come to conclude.

“That makes sense.”

And it really does make sense. But something in you doesn’t want to admit the fact you don’t think he could ever like someone like you.

“It does, doesn’t it? Now what do you think of that?” Miyeon asks, eating two chips in one bite.

You don’t know how to think about it. You don’t know how to feel about it. It’s impossible for something so small to make it feel like your world has been flipped upside down. But it seems to happen a lot recently.

The weirdest thing about this whole situation is that you don’t seem to mind. In fact, the idea of him liking you brings warmth to your chest. Like the warmth you felt when you were hugging him. Or the racing of your heart whenever you think about him.

“Oh my god.”

The room stops, just for a second before you continue.

“I like him.” You say.

The words sound foreign to you. Like you’re trying to speak a new language with no idea of what you’re saying.

But weirdly, you aren’t annoyed by the idea of you liking him and him liking you back. You actually think you like the idea of that.

Just as you had expected, you ran out of snacks after talking about Heeseung for the next thirty minutes. But you didn’t mind.

You actually liked talking about your feelings to them, it was something different that you had never experienced. Giggling over boys and talking about what they did or something you found weird, it was fun, something you had never done before but you couldn’t wait to do again.

Eventually, you had run out of the party sized bag of chips–that were half empty anyways so you didn’t really eat much–and much to your dismay, you had lost the rock-paper-scissors battle. Meaning you had to run to the grocery store to get more snacks.

They had given you a list to go off of. Arizona tea and a bag of barbecue chips for Lia, Hot Cheetos for Miyeon, and some snacks for yourself.

You didn’t mind driving to the convenience store nearby. It had given you a twenty break alone to recharge for a bit, since they were probably staying the whole day.

Pulling in the parking lot, you back into a space. Shifting gears, you park the car. Walking out and closing the door, you press a button on your key. Hearing the familiar beep that locks your car you push open the doors.

As you walk in, the cashier greets you. You awkwardly wave back, heading straight toward the chip aisle. You scan the columns for the familiar bags before you see someone else in the aisle.

You spot a bag of Hot Cheetos and reach up to grab it. Your hand reaches for it but you find another’s reaching for it too. Your eyes widen at the sight of him.

Why does the universe keep making you bump into him at the worst times?

“Y/n! Hey!”

A period goes by where you're just staring at each other, wide eyed. But you seem to bring yourself together quicker, snatching the bag of chips before he could get them.

“Hi.” You respond flatly, passing by him to get the chips you had wanted, and Lia’s barbecue chips.

Even though you’ve come to terms with your true feelings, it’s embarrassing how often you’ve missed seeing him these past few days. The grudge in you still sticks in the back of your mind, you watch as the same scene replays every minute you have of quiet. But you still don’t know why he would do something like that. Or why he was so nice to you these past days.

“Can we talk?”

You’re squatting on the floor trying to get the bag when he says that. You look up at him, “No, I really don’t want to.”

Quickly standing up, you walk away from him, walking to the cashier instead.

You pass by the drink aisle, and you see your reflection. You can feel your face heat up at how you look right now. Your hair was down but you could tell it was a little greasy, you had no makeup on–mostly because you didn’t think you’d see anyone here–and some old pink hello kitty pajama pants that you had definitely gotten when you were younger.

Walking to the end of the aisle, you sigh. This was not how you would imagine you looking when you saw him again.

Not that you had been imagining the scenario a million times over.

And not because you hoped that he would beg for forgiveness and you would reject him.

“Y/n, I really want to talk to you please.” He’s walking after you, and fast.

Turns out you were a very weak girl.

You stop, turning around, “Fine, but can we not talk about this here? I’m trying to get food.”

“I’ll wait for you outside?”

He hands you his card, and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Let me pay for it.”

You think you’re going to die.

“Yeah, whatever.” Taking the card from his hand, you watch him walk away.

You don’t think you can face him. This time, for opposite reasons than before. You like Heeseung, but you still remember him getting all buddy-buddy with the bane of your existence. But you’re not sure if you’ll be able to remember that when you’re face to face.

The possibilities of this conversation scares you–so you take your time in the store, picking out an extra snack for your home.

You begrudgingly walk up to the cashier, using his card, you insert it into the machine. Following the directions on the screen you take your receipt, walking out with your bag in hand.

Walking to the door, you try to walk as slowly as possible, to try to prevent the situation as much as possible.

You soon find yourself face to face with him. Nothing seems to be coming out of your mouth, so the conversation stays silent.

He says, “I’m sorry.”

“What?”

You’re shocked. This was not how you expected the conversation would go. You’re speechless also, your mouth is slightly agape and you’re looking at him like you’ve seen a ghost.

“I’m sorry for being with Sooyun-Not together like that but I don’t want to tutor her–but I had to tutor her. Her family paid me really well and I’ve been trying to make some extra money to help out my parents–for college.”

Oh.

Your cheeks turn pink at his explanation. A pit continues to grow in your stomach while he keeps and keeps explaining himself–like he had done something so wrong even if it was for his college funding, when you seemed to be misunderstanding the situation this whole time.

“Y/n I’m so, so sorry–”

“Heeseung.”

“Yes?”

“I forgive you.” You were a weak girl anyways, “But, why did you laugh at her joke? I thought you would understand if anything.”

“I laugh when I’m nervous, I don't know how to respond–or how to defend you–and I got so nervous on what to say, I laughed. But I told her to stop but she didn’t listen. I didn’t mean to, I swear but it’s just a habit I need to get rid of. But I wasn’t trying to make fun of you I actually think you’re really cool and I don’t want you avoiding me-”

Oh god, how did you not notice that about him? The amount of times he’s laughed at weird times around you were too many to count. You’ve known him for more than half of your life, but you didn’t even notice this about him?

“I’m sorry–Oh my gosh.” You cut him off, this time, he’s surprised.

“I didn’t even–I totally misunderstood this situation and blamed it on you. I should be the one apologizing, I’ve been so rude to you all these years-”

“Y/n it’s okay.”

“No–It’s not okay. I’ve been such a bad person to you–”

Before you can even process anything, he pulls you into a hug. He lays his head on top of yours and you can feel yourself freeze.

“Don’t apologize, please. It’s not your fault.”

It definitely was, but you listen to him anyway.

You slowly relax, wrapping your arms around his neck. You squeeze him tighter, muttering apologies into his ear.

This time, you don’t have to be drunk to admit it. But when you hug Heeseung, he’s warm, a warmth like the summer sun you can’t help but bask in.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE?”

The cold air of the morning catches you off guard. The grass outside your house is frosted white, so are every roof in your neighborhood.

You close the front door, about to walk to your bus stop when you see a familiar car outside your house. With a familiar face outside of it.

“I wanted to pick you up–It’s cold.”

“I have a jacket.”

“Y/n–just let me drive you to school.”

You roll your eyes playfully, following him as he opens your car door, letting you sit down before he closes it.

The car is warm, and he’s already had the seat warmed up for you. No words are exchanged between the two of you when he pulls out of your driveway. You both listen to the quiet music that he was listening to.

You close your eyes and lean back into the chair, Trying to get back the sleep you had missed the night before.

“Tired?” He asks, his voice is barely above a whisper. But you can still hear the smile in his voice.

You chuckle, opening your eyes–you answer, “I couldn’t sleep last night.”

“I really couldn't either.”

You both know you both stayed up replaying that scene over and over. But you decided it would be best left unsaid, to wait for another day to unpack it.

When you get to school you open the door for yourself. Feeling the cold air wash over you. Taking a deep breath in the crisp air your breath comes out white. You blow out to see the white again.

Heeseung laughs at the sight, noticing his visible breath himself.

You two walk to the school doors from his parking spot. Your hand brushes and you’re quick to apologize.

He doesn’t respond, instead he takes your hand in his, interlocking each finger.

Your cheeks turn pink which if he points out–you’ll blame it on the cold weather.

“Can I come over saturday?”

“What?” God he was bold.

“I have a surprise for you.”

You frown, “I didn’t get you anything.”

“I know, it just reminded me of you.”

“I knew you were obsessed with me” You smile, but Heeseung doesn’t deny it.

He pushes open the door for you two, and you feel a wave of warm air. Which you really needed.

“I think your friends are waiting for you.” He points out, gesturing to your friends at your locker, where you usually meet in the morning.

“It’s okay, they can last one morning without me,” You squeeze his hand, but he shakes his head.

“No, go to your friends, I’ll see you in first period, Angel.” He gives you a teasing smirk, squeezing your hand one more time before walking to his friends.

Your eyes follow him, stuck in your position for a few seconds before realizing that you looked stupid standing in the middle of the hallway. You walk up to your friends, greeting them. They start pushing you around, teasing you for coming to school with him.

You aren’t paying attention though, because your eyes catch onto Heeseung and he chuckles, eyebrows raising at you.

You raise yours before your mouth cracks into a smile.

PRESSING THE DOORBELL HE WAITS PATIENTLY OUTSIDE YOUR HOME.

He’s been to your house thousands of times in the past few months. But today he’s extra nervous.

Maybe because he isn’t forced to come here, and you actually tolerate him this time. Either way, Heeseung is nervous.

The sound of the door opening brings him back to life, he’s met by your mother.

“Oh Heeseung! I didn’t know you’d be here today–Is your family coming over? It must’ve slipped my mind!”

He lets out a breathy laugh, “No ma’am. I’m here to see Y/n, is she here?” Pushing up his glasses, he waits anxiously for her answer.

“Oh of course she is!” She welcomes him in, patting his back as he takes off his shoes, “She’s just in her room.”

“Thank you,” He says, gripping the paper bag tight in his hands.

As he walks up the stairs he can feel his nervousness start to get to him. His breaths get shorter and his heart starts beating a few tempos too fast. What if you hated the present?

Taking a deep breath. He clears his mind, knocking on the door saying, “It’s Heeseung, can I come in?”

There's a small moment of silence that follows. You didn’t think he would actually come today.

“Come in!” You yell, he opens the door to see you snuggly tucked into your bed. you quickly sit up, letting a small smile grow on your face.

You internally pat yourself on the back for making sure you looked nice–but not too nice for a random day at home in the case he actually did come. Your eyes catch onto the brown paper bag behind him, but you don’t question it.

He hides the paper bag behind his legs, “Aren’t you going to ask what your surprise is?”

You laugh, “I didn’t think you were being serious.”

“Of course I was.”

Tapping the edge of your bed, you gesture for him to sit down, which he does. Before placing the bag in front of you.

“Can I look inside?”

“That was kind of the point–”

His sentence is cut off by your gasp. You pull out the box to reveal Lego orchids.

“Seung, are you serious?” You exclaim, admiring the lego orchids that he had bought you

Seung.

His cheeks turn pink, “I saw it at the store and I thought of you–Remember when we first met how we bonded over legos? That’s why I got them for you–If you don’t like them it’s ok. I can still retu–”

He stops working when you kiss him on the cheek, hugging him like it’s his last second on earth. “I love it so much–Though I wouldn’t say we bonded over legos.”

Heeseung isn’t sure what you mean, eyes furrowing when he sees your smile. But he doesn’t question it.

He watches intently as you open the box carefully, taking out each bag before reading the directions. Heeseung notices how you furrowed your brows trying to figure out what to do, or how you would tap his shoulder and show him the case if you wanted help.

It had been around a week since you had talked at the convenience store, and Heeseung thinks that was one of the best moments of his life. Recently, you two have grown much closer and Heeseung likes it. Heeseung loves it. Heeseung loves how you can hug each other and touch each other without it being weird, Heeseung loves how he can be around you without it being weird, Heeseung loves being around you, and he’s unsure why it’s taken you two so long to be like this.

Heeseung watches you quietly, but he doesn’t take his eyes off you, Like you’re a light leading him through a dark maze. He knows you notice his obvious staring, but neither you or him say anything.

Whenever you’re together, Heeseung notices that it’s quiet. Not like it’s a bad thing. He thinks it’s like a breath of fresh air. Hanging around someone where even if you don’t talk you enjoy eachothers company.

A strand of hair behind your ear falls into your face. Though you’re too focused on the legos to even think of it. Heeseung reaches his hand out, gently putting it behind your ear.

You look up and smile at him, and he smiles back.

The fan in your room blows softly in the back, creating white noise that fills the silence. Heeseung likes the white noise, but he likes your voice even more.

“Heeseung?”

“Yes, angel?”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

Again, Heeseung isn’t sure what you mean. This time, he questions it.

“What do you mean?”

You look at him with a soft frown–God he loves your lips.

“I mean–I’ve been nothing but mean to you all these years, right? But you still offered to tutor me and do all of this stuff for me, so–why?”

Fuck.

“Why not?” He chuckles, hoping that you’ll leave the topic alone.

“That’s not an answer, Seung.”

He knows it’s not an answer. But he offered to tutor him just so he could spend time with you–the girl he’s in love with. He doesn’t think he’s ready to tell you that–Turns out his mouth speaks before his head thinks.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Your heart skips a beat.

Your frown deepens–He wish he could kiss it away–

“I’m being serious, Seung. Don’t mess around like that.”

He pushes his hair back, “I’m being serious too, Y/n. I've been in love with you–Hopelessly in love, since the day we met.”

Your mouth drops in shock, you don’t respond, so he continues.

“Remember when I said your mom asked me to tutor you in physics? That was a lie–She didn’t ask me to do anything. I noticed that you were struggling a little bit and I thought that if I could spend more time with you–and help you, then you would start to like me. Or even just tolerate me.”

“I don’t know what I did to make you dislike me, but for what it’s worth I’m sorry. You can get your revenge on me by slapping me in the face right now, but I really really want to be your boyfriend.”

The unsaid words in you can’t seem to come out. You can feel your heart beating out of your chest. Did you hear him wrong? Something in you can’t comprehend that Heeseung likes you. Since the day you met. Your mind races with possibilities trying to convince yourself that this isn’t true. But when you finally look up at him, you can see a small chuckle fall from his lips.

“It’s okay if you want to ignore that and pretend it didn’t happen–I get it.”

Heeseung tries to bring a smile to his face but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

You don’t know what to do. You can’t think of what would be a good response to this. So you let your heart take over, leaning in to capture a kiss on his lips.

His lips are soft. but he’s obviously startled. It takes a second before he melts into the kiss. He cups your face with his right hand, making your stomach erupt into butterflies–or erupt in itself, you couldn’t tell anymore.

You place your hand on his chest as he deepens the kiss. You feel sparks flying around you, like a firework show. It’s euphoric and so addicting you don’t want to pull away.

The smell of his cologne made you feel dizzy, the husky scent makes you yearn for more.

Heeseung pulls away first, catching his breath as you catch yours. Exchanging shy smiles while trying to get your heart to calm down.

“Was that okay?” You ask, nervously tucking your hair behind your ears.

“More than okay.”

Your smile grows into a toothy one, letting out a breathy smile you can feel your cheeks heat up.

“Was that a yes?” He asks.

“To what?”

“Me–being your boyfriend.”

And with a teasing smile, you answer, “Yeah–Okay.”

WHEN YOU PARTED WAYS WITH HEESEUNG THIS WAS NOT THE PERSON YOU EXPECTED TO BE STANDING AT YOUR LOCKER.

Every morning it was the same–or for the past week or two it has been. Get ready for school, go outside and make sure Heeseung was driving you, get picked up and leave for school, part ways with Heeseung once you get there–since you’re meeting in first period anyways, then talk to Miyeon and Lia at your locker.

But when you got to your locker, you noticed that the hall was weirdly empty today. Weird.

On rare occasions they’re both very late–which is once a week–you sit by your locker waiting on your phone until they come, or until it’s time to go to class.

This was not the case today, because someone was blocking your locker.

You recognized the back of her head immediately, walking up beside her you say, “Can you move? I need to use my locker.”

It seems like Sooyun is starting to like your attention. Every incident between the two of you she has instigated. Maybe she has a crush on you and is bitter that you’re dating Heeseung.

Whatever it is–you hope she gets the hint and leaves you alone. Which might be impossible considering the situations you keep getting yourself in.

She looks up at you annoyed that it was her locker you were standing in front of.

You try to mentally prepare yourself for whatever she’s about to say. Until she says, “I pity you.”

Okay, definitely not the worst thing she’s come up with–but pretty bad.

“Okay? Move.” And surprisingly she takes a step back, giving you enough space to open your locker and accidentally elbow her in the process.

“Aww” You want to vomit when you feel her rubbing your arm, “Y/n don’t be sad that I took Heeseung from you–You know he would never like you anyways.”

You try not to burst out into laughter.

Shaking her hand off you, you continue to take out your books, closing your locker. You try not to look at her but end up giving her a quick glance which she notices.

“It’s okay Y/n! I’ll take care of him for you.” She feigns innocence. But this time–it’s laughable, extremely laughable.

“Just like the multiple guys you took care of when you had a boyfriend, right?”

It comes out of your mouth before you can even realize it–And you swear you can hear someone gasp a few lockers down, but you don’t see who it is.

Guilt immediately takes over you when she stays silent for a few seconds. She looks at you once more and you swear you can see a hint of sadness behind her eyes. One that she doesn’t show but is still obviously there.

Slap!

You wince at her hand, hoping that she misses really badly and embarrasses herself too. You immediately change your mind about feeling guilty. Because did she just try to slap you? And why did you hear the sound but not feel it? You’re starting to think she did miss really badly–because you feel fine.

Opening your eyes, you put your hand to your cheek, you massage it–trying to make sure that you actually weren’t slapped until you see a hand, stopping her midway.

Looking behind you, you see Heeseung, once again–your savior from the devil herself. He quickly throws off her hand, turning to you with a smile.

“Heeseung!” She whines, “Y/n was being so rude!” Suddenly, her voice becomes two pitches higher–which makes you want to vomit.

You roll your eyes. Then your eyes catch a group of boys weirdly positioned near your locker–wait a minute. Those are Heeseung’s friends. Jay, James and Sungwoo–You think. You hear one of them chuckle at your situation.

You don’t blame them for eavesdropping. But they aren’t necessarily good at it. You had heard one of them gasp earlier. Giving them a death glare, you turn back to your current situation.

Heeseung is frustrated at her–and it’s kind of hot–he’s glaring daggers like you’ve never seen before. But somehow he speaks calmly. Though he’s also firm with his words when he says, “Leave Y/n and me alone. You’re annoying both of us.”

Elbowing him, you whisper, “Heeseung I don’t think that’s going to work.”

He looks at you, face immediately contorting to a softer expression. “Just trust me.” He whispers back, and you nod.

You honestly didn’t think it would work–no offense to him. If you said that to Sooyun then she would’ve definitely tried to slap you again or something. But she stays weirdly silent. Muttering a small whatever and walking away to god who knows where.

Though you were pleasantly surprised it drove her away–you forgot to realize that Heeseung is smart. He knows how to work his way through conversations–when he’s not talking to the girl he likes–and get the outcome he wants.

You’ve watched him persuade Ms. Nam–who by the way, is as stubborn as a rock–to lift his grade up a few points for his “excellent participation skills” and his “ability to help others pass''. Which were true. But even if he was Isaac Newton you still didn’t think that Ms. Nam would agree.

“Gosh we just parted ways, are you obsessed with me?” You tease, feeling how he wraps an arm around your waist.

“I might be.”

Chuckling, you snuggle your head into the dip between his neck and shoulder. Quickly lifting your head up to look at Heeseung’s friends. You wave goodbye to them as you two walk to your first period.

On the way, you pass one of the entrances to spot Miyeon, coming in absolutely drenched. As you're about to go up to her the bell rings, making the hallways fill up with people trying to get to their class.

Luckily, you two make eye contact. You raise an eyebrow addressing her situation. In return, she laughs, showing her ripped umbrella.

Laughing to yourself, Heeseung looks at you with confused eyes. Telling him the story, he lets out a small chuckle. Telling his own story of how he broke an umbrella trying to fence Jay with it.

When you get to your first period, you take your seat next to him. You usually dreaded going to your physics class every day, but this time, you realize you don’t think you mind being in this class as much as you thought.

And after years of hatred and resentment, you feel like when you’re around him that you can finally breathe again.

6 MONTHS HAD GONE BY SINCE YOU STARTED DATING

But it seemed that every other week the Lee’s came over. It was more awkward than ever.

You can’t remember when it started, but Heeseung’s seat wasn’t across from yours. Instead, every other week that the Lee’s came over, or you went to their house–he had started to take the seat next to yours.

But as often as they visited–that didn’t stop them from making the situation awkward. For example–

“When are you guys getting married?”

You choke on your rice. Feeling Heeseung’s firm pat on your back when he lets out an awkward chuckle. “Not anytime soon–In the future. After college when we’re both situated.”

“Yeah what he said–” You choke out, drinking gulps of water to wash down the cough that's coming out.

You can hear him ask, “Are you okay?”

Looking to your left, you nod, smiling softly.

The hand that was on your back moves to squeeze your thigh. You stare at his face for just a moment longer, before turning back to the dinner table.

Together you continue to eat the food your mom has graciously made. The warm end of spring sun lays across you making the table glow a light orange.

The light makes Heeseung’s hair look a lighter brown than it usually is–And you like it a lot.

The conversation turns from your relationship to any small talk they can think of. Like the neighbor’s gossip or how someone else's daughter got accepted to Korea University which only had an 8% admission rate.

Sometimes you would butt in, giving knowledge on something they know less about or they would ask you if you knew the person. But for the most part you stayed quiet like you always did.

After you two had both finished eating, you had both been dismissed by your parents. You walk up to your room, and Heeseung follows hands interlocked with each other.

You let out a sigh of relief when you finally sit down on your bed, you lay back–tucking yourself under the blanket and you can feel a dip next to you.

Scooting closer to him, you can feel his arms wrap around you. No words are exchanged but you can hear the soft humming of the laundry machine or the tweets of the birds outside your window.

It’s not dark outside, but the sun has started to set. Casting a golden glow that peeked through your window covers.

You thought you were wide awake after dinner. but for some reason a yawn slips out of you. You close your eyes slowly.

“Are you tired, angel?”

Angel.

You swear you can feel yourself turn into mush whenever he calls you that. It was a nickname that had started soon before you were dating–but he never had gotten rid of it. And you didn’t mind at all.

“Hm?” You let out, barely above a whisper.

“Are you tired?”

Your body acts in weird ways when you’re around him. Sometimes you can feel your stomach burst into butterflies or how your cheeks start to burn. But recently you’ve been getting so sleepy around him.

You open your eyes, “Yeah kind of, I don’t know why.”

He raises his arm, his hand comes up to your face and lays his thumb on your cheek. Rubbing it soft and slow.

“You can go to sleep Angel, I don’t mind.”

You shake your head slightly, just so his hand won’t come off. “It’s too early, I don’t want to ruin my sleep schedule.”

He hums in response, moving his hand to play with your hair. “Do you want to watch a movie? We should get ready for bed first though.” He offers.

You agree, it’s barely above a whisper but he can still hear your voice.

Slowly sitting up, you both walk to the bathroom.

When you walk back to your room, he’s already sitting down, waiting for you to sit down next to him.

You're glad he’s already picked a movie, because you know if you picked you two would be spending hours just scrolling through the selection.

The movie starts– displaying the title “10 Things I Hate About You” in red text.

You smile at the movie, knowing that it’s one of your favorites. You snuggle in closer, wrapping your arms around his and laying your head on his shoulder.

It’s nearing the end of the movie when you mumble, “Did you mean it earlier?”

It’s pitch black now. The only light coming through your window was now the bright moon, reflecting the sun’s light.

You loved nights like these, where you would stay at your house, just watching a movie. But somehow Heeseung had always fallen asleep after you–curse his night owl habit.

“Did I mean what, pretty?”

“When you said that you wanted to marry me when we’re both settled down, did you mean it?”

He pauses for a second, and you hear the movie playing in the background. But somehow the sound felt so far away.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.

His silence starts to worry you “It’s okay if you don’t I just–”

“Of course I want to marry you. If I could, I’d propose right now. ”

You can feel your heart start to race, you lift your head off your shoulder to look at his face. To make sure he’s not teasing you. But he’s looking at you with the most love sick eyes you’ve ever seen. You feel yourself grow small and flustered under his gaze, but he doesn’t falter. Only a small smile appears on his face.

I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare

“You’re serious?”

I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.

“I haven’t given you any reason to doubt that, right?” He says that teasingly, but you can tell there's a hint of genuine questioning behind it.

“No.” You mumble.

“Okay–just in case you’re lying, I love you, Y/n. I love everything about you, I’ve loved you since the moment we’ve met and I’ll love you until the moment we die and even after that. I love you, Y/n, I hope you know that.”

You can feel your breath hitch as he says that. You two don’t say those words often, not because you don’t love each other but because you think that actions matter more than words.

You’re silent for a few seconds, processing every thing he’s just said. You can still hear the movie, but you seemed to have missed some lines–not that it matters anyways. You have the whole dialogue memorized.

I hate it that you’re not around. And the fact that you didn’t call.

When you realize he’s waiting for your response, you kiss him. You kiss him until the butterflies that flood your stomach get tired and stop flying, you kiss him until you can feel your lips grow swollen and red, you kiss him until the only thing he can think of is your lips on his.

When you pull away your both breathless, staring at each other with tinted red cheeks.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

“I love you–by the way. That wasn’t a way of avoiding saying I love you.” You blurt out, and you can see the smile growing on his face from miles away.

He chuckles, squeezing your cheek in your hand before turning his head back to the long forgotten movie. “We missed the best part” He frowns.

“You’re saying I just made out with you for you to only care about the fact we missed Kat’s poem?”

Yeah, Heeseung is still really weird. But you don’t mind it. Not at all.

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#heart : enhypen.#love : lee heeseung.#tulips : to read.#i need to read this asap #reblogging this not to lost the writingw

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minbulas · 1 year ago

Text

Forbidden | Ji Changmin

SUMMARY: you have been separated from your childhood best friend, Changmin for years. so when you both finally reunite on a mission together, he is no longer the childhood friend you have once come to know of, and things were going to take a turn for the both of you.

PAIRING: spy Changmin x spy f!reader

GENRE: ex-bffs to lovers au, angst, crime, suggestive

WARNINGS: nc-17, violence, mentions of gambling, mentions of human trafficking, kissing, making out

WORD COUNT: 3,168

A/N: here is the 3rd entry from my 100 followers event, and this was requested by my 妹妹 @sungbeam 💕 the way you chose that specific prompt lmao i knew i had to deliver some ✨good food✨ for you, and i hope it was worthy of your taste miss beam 😮‍💨 (it might be a bit rushed so i humbly apologise i wrote this in one sitting)

“Agent Y/N, reporting in.”

You knocked at your boss's door and stood there enthusiastically, awaiting your next mission.

It has been a while since you were deployed on field missions, hence the excitement you felt when you received a code entitled “S-Rank”, which indicated the highest rank of difficulty of missions that only a selected few are allowed to participate in.

You have been with your current agency for a few years, and through hard work and determination, you rose up to one of the higher-ranking agents in the field. With that, you are mostly deployed on the field, dealing with many missions that are far more gruesome and dangerous, which could eventually cost you your life if you weren’t careful enough. But you were a fighter—a soldier equipped with wits and extraordinary martial arts skills.

As a result, you have been placed on training duties where you were assigned to train the new recruits to prepare them as they make their official debut on the field. Not that you were entirely mad about it, since martial arts was one of your fortes, but you surely miss being on the field and on an actual mission.

Hence, you couldn’t contain your excitement for the day, and you couldn’t wait to gear back up and return to your comfort zone.

Your boss—Director Ji, was pretty pleased with the number of upcoming recruits that were going to officially join the team, as several agents were currently abroad to fulfill their own missions. In other words, your company desperately needs potential ones who could take on field missions.

This time, however, he hands you a red folder with all the necessary information about the mission. You knew what the red folder exactly meant—ones that could indeed cause a life or death situation, and there is no room for even a single mistake for this one. Usually, these were given to the elites, not even to higher-ranking agents like yourself.

The Elites are the best of the best, and they excel in every possible scenario or situation that they are in, no matter how brutal the mission may be. They do not engage much with the other agents except for the director himself, as they are often sent away far abroad to handle much more trivial matters at hand.

If your director has handed you such a folder where it’s not meant for you on a usual basis, that could only mean one thing. You were to step in as a substitute and be paired with at least one of the members from the elites and fulfill the mission as swiftly and hassle-free as possible.

As you were about to turn back and take your leave, your director stopped you just in time to inform you that this mission requires some more training than usual, and you were to be paired up with one of them to prepare for the big day.

Training with one of the elites? Obviously, how could you ever say no? It is definitely a dream come true for you as you have always admired them from the shadows. Enthusiastically, you nodded and agreed with the offer as you stepped out of the room.

“This is going to be so much fun.”

“I could teach you how to fight, but I wasn’t equipped to take care of you.”

The brunette shoots you with that cold and blunt statement, and in return, you give the male the biggest frown of the day.

As much as you were enthusiastic the entire morning as you prepared yourself for whoever would join you for the mission, the excitement immediately died down when the infamous elite member, Ji Changmin, stepped foot into the training room.

Your ex-childhood best friend.

Both you and Changmin go all the way back to kindergarten, you both were literally neighbours up till high school. You have spent both of your childhood together, to the point that you both knew exactly what were the biggest insecurities each of you had, even knowing how many crushes you had and how you both are hopeless romantics.

But as Changmin and his family moved away after graduating high school, you both lost contact with one another, never speaking or keeping in touch for many years.

Until you graduate from university.

Somehow, you have managed to stumble upon the Director’s Ji company, which he has been operating secretly for many years—thanks to one of your seniors who recommended you to him. He was more than delighted to take you in, knowing how you eventually pursued criminology and eventually keen on the idea of becoming a spy yourself.

That was when you were reunited with Ji Changmin. You were beyond ecstatic when you first saw him in person again. You wanted to run into him, give him the biggest embrace, and take in all his scent—one you have missed so dearly after all these years.

But the male eventually shut you off before you could do anything. He was nowhere near like the Changmin you used to grow up and love—he was now cold, often very stern, and would work alone instead rather than with others.

Because of that, you have never gotten the chance to talk things out with him, and you realise that it’s best for you to keep a distance from him now.

Never in a million years would that day come so soon for you both to reunite on a S-Rank Mission.

His simple yet cold statement immediately ruined your mood, and you were about to fire back at the male. But he was already prepared with his gear and gloves, waiting for you to join him on the training mat.

Given his demeanour, you knew that dragging his time would be a fatal mistake right now, and you had no choice but to equip yourself with the necessary items and join him as fast as you could.

As you make your way to his way, you can’t help but notice his appearance. His hair was parted to the side, and a little scar was situated right on his left cheek. He was wearing a simple black tee, but you couldn’t help but notice how buff he had gotten and how the shirt was clearly a little too tight for him.

The way his biceps were clearly so toned than ever, and god. The veins—

“When will you stop ogling and get yourself together?” He shoots you with an unfriendly look. Clearly, his patience is running out.

“Fine. God, what an impatient man you have become.” You blurted out by accident, eyes widening as you just realised you had let out your frustration and most inner thoughts. You looked up to meet the male face-to-face, only to realise that he was not bothered by that comment at all.

He has dealt with much worse before, this is nothing to him.

As you finally got into your position, you raised both of your now balled-up fists and stood in a defensive mood, ready for whatever moves the male would lay upon you. Unfortunately, you were a bit too slow to notice the swift movement he had made, and immediately, you were on the ground, groaning as you felt a slight pain upon your lower chin.

“Just so you know, I won’t go easy on you just because you are a girl. I’ll have you know that the enemies we deal with on S-Rank missions are far more murderous and barbaric than you have ever encountered. They could potentially become your worst nightmare. If this is how you will act on the field, I’m afraid you will lose your life within minutes.” Changmin spat, and boy, did it hurt as hell.

Angered, you got back up on your feet as you repositioned yourself again, trying your best to keep up with his swift movements this time.

This training went on for quite a while, and never once did you manage to land a blow on Changmin himself. Instead, you were constantly attacked at your blind spots and always on the ground, trying to find your way back up again.

God, this is going to be a hell of a ride.

The intense training with Changmin lasted for a few days, and the amount of bruises you have gotten thanks to him was uncountable.

Every day, you would return home and find yourself sitting by your bedside, applying an ice pack and ointment to each and every one of them. It has been quite a while since you have felt like this.

Humiliated and defeated.

This only happened when you were still a rookie, as you were training with your superiors then. Ever since you made your debut, you have done nothing but win in all the physical battles you have dealt with, both on and off the field.

“I could teach you how to fight, but I wasn’t equipped to take care of you.”

His words constantly echo into your mind, and you just can’t seem to get it off as much as you wanted. No matter how cruel they seemed, you knew his words meant well for you.

This is a S-Rank mission, for goodness sake, Y/N. It is either you defeat the enemy or be defeated yourself.

Taking in a deep breath as you closed your eyes, you just mentally prayed and hoped that all of the intense training with your ex-childhood best friend has at least done something for you and that you will be well-prepared as you both head into your designated location for tomorrow night.

Let’s just get this done and over with.

The both of you arrived discreetly at the location, equipped with a radio earpiece to receive necessary transmissions from one another to keep each other in the loop as you both parted ways to scout around the area.

The target of the mission was to infiltrate one of the largest and most well-known casinos in the heart of Seoul, The Grand Palace, as it is believed that the area itself was used for human trafficking, which explains the sudden disappearance of a handful of women in their early 20s over the past few months.

According to the information you both were given, as written in the red folder, the CEO of the casino, Mr Kim, was the mastermind behind all of this and had his men surrounding the casino at all times to prevent information from spreading while keeping his gambling business on the run.

Both of your mission was to infiltrate the control room—download all of the necessary information that could potentially expose the hidden and true business the casino was making money from. And, of course, to get the girls out of there once and for all.

Changmin suggested taking on the latter as he knew the area would be armed with more enemies to keep the girls out of reach. It was best suited for him to take on the role of doing the dirty work instead of you potentially. In return, you were to get to the control room and bypass the security, download the necessary data, get out of there, and pass it on to the FBI, who were already armed and ready for your signal.

So that was precisely what you did, with no room for arguments this time. It was kind of a maze to navigate to the control room, especially when the casino was filled with many individuals and the place was dark as hell. Yet, you had to bypass everyone while being undetected. To the best of your abilities, you eventually reached the destination, and sure enough, you were met with your worst nightmare.

Tons of red light laser security filled the room way before the entrance to the control room.

You were flexible, to say the least, but there is no way you could bypass all of these on your own. Whenever you were met in such a situation, you always had your superior or partner to figure it out together. But time was ticking, and you had no choice but to do it all alone this time.

As you slowly bent through each of the lasers and eventually made your way to the last one, you breathed in relief that there was no one around to notice your presence. But your happiness did not last for long, as you missed out on one of the lasers that was situated close to your right ankle. Sure enough, the alarms have begun going off.

Panicking, you tried your best to figure out an escape route as quickly as possible. But given the room's darkness, it was impossible to notice anything in particular.

That is until a lightbulb dings in your mind, and you look up to see a slightly ajar air vent.

It’s now or never.

With the equipment you were geared up with, you somehow managed to quickly get into the vent right before security guards came pouring into the room, trying to find the culprit behind all of this.

You began trying to calm your fast-beating heart down, that is, until you felt a pair of warm hands cupped over your mouth.

“Have they not taught you well how the very first rule of becoming a spy is not to get caught?”

That voice. It was Changmin.

You turned behind to find the male looking very displeased, and he was still cupping your mouth, not letting it go as he was convinced your breathing would definitely blow up both of your covers. Frustrated, you tried your best to fight against his grip, loosening yourself from him and yelling back at him silently.

“Look, laser securities was not my best forte.”

“That’s not a valid excuse, Y/N. You literally had one job, and you failed at doing so.”

You scoffed. “Really, Changmin? After all these years, you suddenly show up in my life again, only to turn into this cold-blooded spy with zero empathy left inside of him? Has becoming one of the elites affected your ego that much?”

Then, there was a slight pause. Changmin’s face then darkens as he scooches closer to you. “Don’t you dare say it as if you knew what I have been through over the years that we were separated from one another.”

Clearly, you were not backing down this time. “Oh yeah, then tell me. All the bullshit you went through made you turn into such a heartless individual.”

In the blink of an eye, Changmin cups his hands around your mouth once again as he pushes you down on the surface of the vent. He is now crawling up against you, moving in closer to you.

“You take that back right now, miss Y/N. I swear if I ever hear one more word from you—”

“Then what?” You muffled.

Then it all happened. Changmin did what he knew was best to shut you up. As swiftly as he often portrays with his martial arts abilities, he removes his hand from your mouth and plants a kiss directly onto your lips. The whole thing was aggressive and messy, as one would say, he was now kissing you messily, trying by all means to keep your mouth shut as the enemies were still down below.

On the other hand, you were far too taken aback by what happened, and your eyes were now as wide as they could ever be. Somehow, your body did not reject his touch or the kiss, in fact, you actually liked it.

Was it because you were too deprived of having him close to you? How badly you have missed him so much?

And how you never got to confess to him that you had feelings for him right before he left all those years ago.

This kiss was a dream come true for you. And you were not planning to let him go anytime soon. Instead, you moved your hands to tangle in his hair as you opened your mouth slightly to allow for more room for the both of you. Changmin then lays one of his hands on the side of your waist while the other travels up to one of your breasts, giving them a light squeeze. Adding to the tension, he then makes way for his tongue to enter your mouth, trying his best to devour up all of the elicit moans that you were letting out to keep this whole make-out session as quiet as possible.

And god, how much he loved hearing the moans coming out from you.

Neither of you planned on stopping anytime soon because this all felt so good. It was as if you both had longed for each other and now that you finally had, you were not going to let him go just yet.

Finally, after minutes, the both of you were gasping for air when Changmin realised that nobody was in the room anymore. The coast was clear, and both of you were safe enough to return and continue the mission.

Trying your best to steady your breathing again, you decided to shoot the male with a little tease. “You treat all of your ladies like this?”

“...Shut up.”

It did not take you both long enough to be able to infiltrate the control room. With your abilities, you both managed to knock out all of the individuals in the room cold while you went to the main system to download all of the information needed to expose the casino. As ordered by Changmin previously, you wasted no time leaving the premises as soon as possible to get help from the FBI.

While you were doing that, Changmin made his way to where the girls were kept captive and defeated all the guards on standby on his own. He then managed to free them all and escorted them out, where the police and medical assistants were already waiting for them.

At the end of the day, the mission was a huge success, and the mastermind and his team were eventually placed behind bars, facing life imprisonment as punishment.

After returning to your headquarters a few days later, you were then promoted to joining the elites by Director Ji himself, as he was pleased with your performance. However, there was one strict rule that these agents were to follow.

Never engage in personal matters with one another.

Before you could think about it further, your phone buzzed and you exited your agency, feeling slightly excited as you made your way into the black vehicle already waiting for you.

As soon as you opened the door and entered, you stared at the male with one of his hands on the steering wheel while the other came up to cup your cheek.

“Say, won’t your dad eventually discover all of this?” You questioned with a concerned look on your face.

Changmin then leans in to give a peck on your lips.

“Who says he needs to find out about it?”

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @hokupi @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics @sulkygyu @jaerisdiction @vernyangel (join my permanent taglist here!)

#heart : the boyz.#love : ji changmin.#MAN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS #im literally a sucker for spy trope but jesus christ we don't have enough fic about it on this platform #BUT YOU'RE HERE using your so wonderful mind to write this one and im down on my knees begging the world to offer me a spy ji changmin #i was so immersed in the story that i didn't want it to end BUT IT ENDED TO QUICKLY #too*#i felt so out of place when they both ended up in the vent...#i really was the third number in the equation / the third wheel / the one holding the candle #but goddamn it was a hot kiss of reconciliation i could feel the tension through my phone screen #and i'm kinda jealous. i need him to kiss me that way im not even kidding /hj #in the end im glad they finally made up #especially if they had parted on such terms without changmin ever being able to explain his behavior #it's so sad <\3 #but it took your life being in danger for the man of your dreams to finally realize how important you are to him #boys can be pretty dramatic sometimes..#anyway that was amazing ally i'm happy ^_^

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minbulas · 1 year ago

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okay since you're back, may i please request something around 4am with changmin (or sunwoo?) and make it angst or comfort or whatever just because why not thank you my love i'm so happy you're here you don't imagine how much

[4:01AM]

Not often did you wake up in the middle of the night, yet something felt different. Maybe it was because there was a sudden lump that had developed within your pillow or the temperature in the room had changed, but your dream had slowly faded into darkness. As you slowly adjusted to your senses and reality itself, your eyes fluttered open and caught a glimpse of Changmin in the dark.

Your eyes traced the silhouette illuminated by the moon, noticing his eyes wide and fixated on the ceiling. Unsure of both the time and if Changmin had noticed you, you scooted over to where he was and wrapped your arms around one of his, hugging it close to your chest.

“Why are you up?” you mumbled while tucking your nose behind his shoulder, wanting to remain as close as possible.

Changmin turned his head to face you, slightly startled that you had woken up, but his parted lips of shock curled up into a warm smile—it was almost impossible to not be in love whenever he saw you. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before shifting in his spot, adjusting so he could bring you into his arms.

“Why are you awake, hm?” He pulled you in close and against his chest, allowing you to snuggle up against him within his embrace.

“I asked you first,” you retaliated. You gave him an exaggerated pout before having it interrupted with a yawn. He shook his head and laughed at you softly, his arms squeezing you. He then had one of his hands gently pat you on the head, providing a weak attempt to get you back to sleep.

“Just woke up randomly, and I couldn’t go back asleep,” he whispered.

“You better not be bullshitting.” He giggled at your grumble, causing you to shuffle your feet under the comforters and kick his legs when you found them. Changmin then burst out in laughter at your terrible attempt and refuted the action by locking his legs around yours, trapping you completely in his hold.

Instead of fighting back, your tired state melted against him, but you still glared at him as a threat.

“I’m not bullshitting, I promise.” Your skepticism made him coo and kiss your nose, watching as your bunched-up facial features began to relax.

“We sleep together?” Noticing your slight worry, he nodded and pressed a soft kiss against your lips to reassure you.

“We sleep together.”

It had taken less than a few minutes for you to knock out, but Changmin was still completely awake. He would play with your hair, tucking strands behind your ear, before his thoughts drifted off once more. He kissed your cheek with a whispered ‘I love you’ before untangling himself from you to glance at the ceiling once more.

His eyes then trailer over to the nightstand by their bed, and without much thought, he silently pulled out the drawer to take out a small velvet box. He flipped it open to reveal the ring he had bought you and raised it to where the moon was shining, wanting to look at it once last time before officially getting down on one knee for you.

His heart thudded against his chest and fluttered the moment he thought about you wearing it on your ring finger. He smiled and put it away so he could go back to holding you, finally relaxed enough to fall back asleep.

You were his forever, and he couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

permanent taglist . . . @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp

author's note // first timestamp for changmin! (the other one was unhinged and we pretend it doesn't exist 😭). matty my biggest supporter ilysmsmsmsmsmsmsm thank you for sending this in i hope you enjoy ALSO this may or may not be canon kidult changmin 🫣

#heart : the boyz.#love : ji changmin.#legend has it that reading this was the first thing i did when i opened my eyes this morning #and i have to admit that i have absolutely no regrets because imagining things when you're half asleep is #even more impactful than when you're perfectly awake #like i can imagine the sensation of his cooled skin against the warm skin of y/n who has just thrown off the sheets #and i can just imagine his skin lit up by the moonlight making him even more handsome than usual #(wait a sec i don't know where i read that reader had left the warmth of the sheets when they just moved but that's how i imagined it but-)#anyway #specifying at the end that it could be changmin from kidult made me kick my feet up in the air because #that's so much of the energy this character radiates like FOR REAL even before i saw you telling it at the end i was thinking 'damn that is #so much kidult jichang coded'#you already know the chock hold this story has on me and i swearrrr im always looking for things written for changmin that makes me think #of kidult #BUT ANYWAY IM HERE TO TALK ZBOUT SMTH ELSE AND BY THAT I MEZN THE TIMESTAMP ANYWAY #it's so good to read your work again 🥰 i missed it sm i still love your writing style dearly and gosh i missed your little scenarios #he's so comfort i just want him im not asking for much but yea #he's :( so dreamy

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minbulas · 1 year ago

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3.30am, eric or any other tbz members. i’d appreciate it if u could write a piece based on joji glimpse of us :) i luv ur writing btw!

[3:30AM]

Eric had done everything in his power to get over you.

Out of the many relationships he had been in, nothing compared to what he had with you. The hopeless romantic side of himself had always dreamed of having an unconditional love in his life, but until he met you, he would often shrug it off with partying until the sun rose and running off at night to do stupid things on the railroad tracks with his friends.

It was the way he lived and the life he attempted to return to when you broke up with him.

Ever since then, with his weak attempts to hook up with strangers and drink until all his thoughts were rid of you, his close friends would barge into his room each morning at 4, drilling him to wake up and jog around campus shirtless. The exercise was nothing to him, not when he had always actively visited the gym, but each morning he dreaded it.

Because with every passing day at 3 A.M., he would wake up, unable to fall back asleep, and get lost in his thoughts as he eyed the popcorn ceiling above him. His nightlight would tint the ceiling and the walls around him your favorite color, and he would wonder about your whereabouts and if you were doing better without him. Everywhere Eric looked—it was always you.

He couldn’t fathom dreaming of being another person because, regardless of how attractive or charismatic they were, he would always get caught up staring into their eyes and catching a glimpse of hope, something your eyes once held.

Throughout your last few months of dating, he watched that light dissipate into utter darkness, one that he couldn’t go through and pull you out of—to make you believe that he was the one for you, the one who would watch you grow into your greatest self and he’d love you more with every day that passed.

But instead of being able to enjoy each day with you, he was left to witness how your actions have morphed into ones of a stranger. He watched you give up on their relationship, and nothing hurt him more than knowing he lost someone he loved for so long.

He wished that if you were capable of holding onto that hope, that spark and newfound love and drive to fight for your relationship, then maybe you two would’ve lasted. Maybe he would’ve been able to see you thrive in your dream career field while he pursued his, and you two would be each other’s number one supporters. The ‘what ifs’ plagued him day by day, always wondering that maybe if he had done something different, you two would still be together. He wished that regardless of what lifetime you two shared together, he wanted this one to be with you.

He wanted to do everything with you.

Eric jolted to the sound of his roommate moving in his bed across the room. He didn’t think much of it aside from Juyeon having a bad dream, but that was until his roommate had actually gotten up onto his two feet to change. Eric scrambled to find his phone on the bed and checked his phone for the time, confirming that there still was another thirty minutes until their daily jog. Before he could process what Juyeon was doing, his roommate had spoken up before him.

“You’re awake early.”

Eric squinted at him, puzzled at Juyeon’s sudden need for a conversation this early in the morning.

“I always am.” Eric turned in his bed to lie on his side. He watched as his friend removed his shirt and replaced it with a tank top. “Why are you up?”

“C’mon, dude. I can hear your thoughts from here.”

The two stared at each other in silence, and Juyeon stood with his feet stapled to the ground, refusing to move. His arms were crossed, and he was ready to get Eric out of bed. When Eric didn’t move, Juyeon cocked a brow at him.

“Am I wrong?”

The slight tension they had between them had disappeared when Eric mumbled ‘no’. Juyeon pursued his lips and held back a sigh, replacing it with a slight shake of his head in disapproval. Eric caught this and parted his lips to explain, to explain how much it hurt, but Juyeon interrupted him with a look of understanding because he knew.

Eric would always talk about you endlessly, and to have that ripped away from him was a pain Juyeon has yet to experience. He always believed you and Eric were endgame too.

“I miss them,” Eric whispered, his voice strangled as he desperately looked at his friend for any sort of mental assistance. He was prepared to be called stupid, to say that he shouldn’t be thinking about you after a month of adjusting without you and to move on, but Juyeon did none of that. Instead, he stared elsewhere, his heart empathizing with how much his friend was still in love.

“I know.” Juyeon kept his tone gentle, and with a forced tug of his lips, he wore a warm smile and approached Eric to pat him, comforting him as best as he could.

“I really do miss them.”

Juyeon watched as Eric curled up under the comforter, hugging his legs close to his chest, as he grew smaller in his bed. He took notice of how Eric buried his lower half of his face under, physically shielding how vulnerable he was, but Juyeon knew Eric better than most. He patted him again, gently.

“C’mon, buddy. Let’s jog.”

permanent taglist . . . @the-cereal-simp @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout

author's note // picking up requests from like two years ago because it's about damn time 🧍‍♂️ thank you for sending this in! it's not really true to the song, but i tried to implement it as much as i could!! thank you so much for supporting me :] ^^ also the last time i posted smth for eric he was on a hiatus??? ??? ??? ?? HAS IT BEEN THAT LONG????

#heart : the boyz.#love : eric sohn.#okay i can finally talk about this because i read it like 4 hours ago but i was half asleep and i cant talk in english properly when i'm #half asleep anyway i hate tumblr i can't even fisnish a sentence without being disturbed but ANYWAY THAT IS NOT THE TOPIC #first thing i have to say is : welcome back here my dear it's so good to see you and i'm so happy to read some work or yours again i missed #your writing so much like cRAZY i kept rereading kidult from time to time because it's still the story that has had the biggest impact on m #since i started tumblr (i'll keep talking about it when the opportunity arises (you can ask mona))#anyway i think i've fallen in love with eric all over again since i saw the nectar teaser photos #and this writing was really necessary i just love break-up and post break-up writing don't ask me why since my heart has never been broken #but i don't know? i need to feel something even if i don't like seeing him sad and everything #but i just love the way you describe his thoughts and i like overthinkers writing in general so yea #thank you for adding juyo to this btw^_^ im kinda obsessed with him ever since i saw that shirtless photo of him for that magazine #(his back is attractive okay)

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minbulas · 1 year ago

Text

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙜𝙣𝙚 — 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰

genre: brother's best friend!sunwoo ft. brother!eric, strangers-to-slight enemies-to-lovers au, angst, fem!reader

warning: mentions of physical abuse, eric is too overprotective, lack of trust between friends

word count: 7k

synopsis: It started from fighting with each other to fighting your brother for each other.

a/n: very late update as usual.

𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

"I got here first."

"Well, I need it more."

"Does that matter? I need it too."

"Just give it-"

"Excuse me, miss? Sir- oh, Sunwoo..." The store worker sighed at the realization, "You two are causing an inconvenience here at the store. If you could just settle this through, that would be greatly appreciated."

You see, you arrived at the mini grocery store to buy a bottle of champagne for yourself after a long, busy week. It turns out that only one bottle of that certain brand you wanted was left, and it was only 11 in the morning on a Thursday. What the hell? So you quickly grabbed the bottle until a voice stopped you from behind, telling you to stop and give him the bottle. The nerve this guy in a hoodie and baggy pants has, he should wash up.

"But I came here first and got this bottle before he arrived, and he's forcing me to give it to him. The disrespect I'm feeling right now from this young man."

"Young man???" The guy in the hoodie furrowed his eyebrows, feeling very offended, "She called me a young man."

The store worker couldn't help but shake his head, pinching the bridge of his nose to maintain his patience. "Sunwoo, just give it up. She clearly got the bottle first, stop causing scenes. This is like the third time this month, I'm tired."

Sunwoo tutted, "Yeah, whatever." He eyed you in annoyance before leaving the aisle to look for other drinks he could buy instead.

"And as for you, miss, please do take that bottle for yourself. We are sorry for the inconvenience, have a great day!" The worker reassured you with a smile, putting on his best customer service tone.

With that, you smiled back at the worker. "Thank you..." You glanced down at their nametag, "...Chanhee?"

"Yes, that would be me." Chanhee nodded to confirm.

"Have a great day too!"

As soon as you were out of sight, Chanhee immediately slapped Sunwoo's arm to scold him about earlier's events. "What did I tell you about fighting with other customers? This is your last warning, Kim. I don't care if we're friends, I might have to ban you from coming here if that happens again." He threatened the man but Sunwoo couldn't care less, he just wanted to get the day over with.

Sunwoo came home with bottles of soju and some chips to pair them with, settling them down on the coffee table without bothering to get them out of the plastic. He slumped down on the couch tiredly, as if he had joined a marathon, instead of fighting a lady at the store for a bottle of champagne. He's definitely going to put the blame on Eric for asking to play a game with the loser having to buy the drinks...and you know exactly who the loser was.

"Where's the champagne?" Eric's loud voice resounded across the room, catching everyone's attention. "I've been waiting, what took you so long?"

Sunwoo groaned at the mention of the drink, "No champagne, stop asking." The look he gave Eric was one that could kill if he didn't shut up.

"But, we need it-"

"No, we don't. Now get drinking."

Sunwoo's commanding tone scared Eric in the slightest, so he rushed to get the glasses, ice, and some cooked food from the kitchen to serve everyone in the room: Sunwoo, Juyeon, Kevin, and himself. It was another boyz night, just as usual.

"Hey, man." Juyeon placed a hand on Sunwoo's shoulder before downing his drink in one go. "What happened back there? Why the gloomy face?"

"Some chic-" Juyeon suddenly let out a loud 'ahhh~' beside Sunwoo which made the latter close his eyes in disgust, "...stole the last bottle."

Kevin rolled his eyes from his side of the couch, "We all know you caused a scene again, Sunwoo." He spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Well, it wasn't the first time it happened anyway—don't even ask how many times.

"I don't care, I hate her."

"You hate everyone at this point."

"As it should be."

Despite Sunwoo's refusal, Eric had brought the man with him to his house while he changed his outfit before going to the nearby club. Sunwoo didn't understand why he had to go with him instead of the others when all he wanted to do was stay in bed until Juyeon picked him up at his own place. But no, Eric insisted that Sunwoo should be there for moral support. Ridiculous, the latter thought.

"Just to let you know..." Eric stopped Sunwoo by the front door, "My sister's home and that's a warning."

Sunwoo quirked an eyebrow, intrigued by the sudden warning. "Oh, should I be scared of her?"

"Man, she's crazy. The worst! You'd hate her."

"Nice, I love hating people." Although it sounded sarcastic, there was a hint of truthfulness in his words.

The noise from inside the house caught their attention, so Eric opened the front door and met with the sight of...

"You?!" Both Eric's best friend and sister exclaimed, clearly displeased with each other's presence.

"You guys know each other?" Eric stood in between the two but was completely ignored.

You were busy preparing yourself a glass of champagne—the same drink that was almost stolen from the man standing just a few feet away from you. Sunwoo's gaze dropped towards the familiar bottle in your hand, and the memories from the store the other day came rushing back.

"Eric, why didn't you tell me?" Sunwoo turned to his best friend incredulously, pissed at the current situation.

Eric, on the other hand, was taken aback, having absolutely no idea what the hell was going on. "What do you mean?"

"Why didn't you tell me that she was your sister? This girl-"

"Don't you fcking point your dirty finger at me, kid." You harshly slapped Sunwoo's hand away from you. Eric almost choked on his saliva at what you had called Sunwoo before bursting into loud laughter.

"Shut up, Eric." Sunwoo glared at him, "Go get changed, so we can leave. I don't want to stay here too long and see her face; that would ruin my night."

"On it." Eric quickly ran upstairs to his room and got changed into a new set of clothes, which was his intention in the first place. Meanwhile, the situation downstairs didn't stop there.

"You talk like you own the place, your ego must be bigger than that head of yours." You remarked from the dining area as you swirled the glass of champagne with your fingers.

The more Sunwoo sees you drinking, the more annoyed he becomes. Just the way you wanted it to be: him losing his patience. You can sense his footsteps coming towards your way until you feel his presence behind you, a hand resting on the table beside your figure.

"Hmm, are you sure? There's something bigger than that." You knew for sure that he had a smirk on his face, and you wanted nothing but to slap it off of him.

Unfortunately for you, you only roll your eyes at his bad attempt at dirty talking. "Just leave."

"Why? I wanna do bad things to you, though."

"Oh, really?" You gave the fakest look of interest ever, "Like what?" Batting your eyelashes to rile him up even more.

To your surprise, he moved his face closer to yours. His breath was fanning the side of your ear, causing shivers down your arms as he whispered softly. "Break your neck."

"Hey! No fighting...or flirting, whatever the hell you two are doing." Finally, Eric's annoying voice broke the growing tension between you and Sunwoo like a lifesaver. "Leave her alone, Sunwoo."

"I will, don't worry. Just gave your sister some words of respect, is all." The man moved away from your face and patted your shoulder, which was a little too harsh for a friendly gesture. "She's needs to know some manners, don't you think?"

What an asshole.

"Gosh, how much did you drink?" Your friend asked you for the third time tonight after seeing you stumble your steps towards your seat beside her.

You simply shrugged, "Lost count."

Your friend sighed and looked at your state worriedly, but you assured her that you were fine. You obviously weren't. The loud music, the blinding lights, the people dancing around—you really didn't care about anything at the moment. You were invited by your friend to the club at the last minute because her boyfriend wanted to go and she wanted you to have fun too, so you did only because they paid for you. Wouldn't wanna pass on free party and drinks.

Wanting to get another drink, you stood up with all the energy left in your body and steadied yourself with the table before walking up to the bar. That was until you heard a voice from behind you—a voice you found annoyingly familiar.

"Why are you here?"

You turned around with a bored look, "Why are you here? You own the place?" You scanned his appearance tonight: a black leather jacket with a black shirt underneath and some baggy jeans paired with his usual Jordans. Nothing new except for the gelled-up hair, which showed his pretty forehead.

Sunwoo rolled his eyes at your reply as if it wasn't already expected of you, leaning on to the bar in front of him to order some drinks. "Give me the usual, one for me and one for the lady here."

"Hopefully you aren't talking about me."

You hear him let out a laugh, "Unfortunately, princess..." He turned to you with a playful smirk, "I'm talking about you."

That nickname almost made you stumble on your seat, so you pretended to ignore it to not boost his already big of an ego. "I'm leaving." You stood up from your seat at the bar to go back to where you previously sat with your friend, not caring that you didn't get to order another drink for yourself because a certain someone decided to show up.

"Hey, you didn't even drink this yet-"

You didn't let him finish his words as you drank the drink he ordered for you in one go, so he wouldn't bother you any longer. "There, now leave me alone." You couldn't take another second of seeing his face.

A few more shots, and you were absolutely out of it. You excused yourself from your friends and made your way to the bathroom, but the world really was a cruel place, or so you thought. Of all the people here at the bar, did you really have to bump into Kim Sunwoo? Upon seeing you coming towards the hallway where he stood, he immediately blocked the way with his body to tease you, but you weren't having any of his games.

"I'm not here to play with you, Kim. Move."

"And why would I do that, hmm?"

You used all your strength to push him, but it was no use. He was stronger than you thought he was. "Seriously? How immature can you get? Move out the way."

Of course, he wouldn't do that. He loved riling you up and seeing the scowl on your face. He loves teasing you; he would do anything to tease you until you lost your mind over it. He usually doesn't do this to anyone else, but knowing that you were his best friend's younger sister brought a new feeling of excitement. That was his goal, and to provoke you even more, he pushed you against the nearest wall.

"You like this?" Sunwoo taunted you with a question to get a reaction that would satisfy him, only to receive a scoff and a look of disgust.

"I'm not interested."

As if he hadn't bothered you enough, he went closer to whisper beside your ear. The same thing he did earlier in Eric's dining—the same breathy sound he made, which he knew had an effect on your body. "You sure about that, darling?"

Again with the petnames. You decided to play along for once after realizing that he was nowhere near done with you...

"What are you gonna do? Kiss me?"

...and immediately regretting it.

An amused grin was now evident on Sunwoo's face. He was enjoying the moment and feeling satisfied with your reaction because, to your utter surprise, he did exactly what you said—he kissed you.on.the.lips!—making you freeze in place. What in the actual f-

"Don't think about it too much, princess." He gave you one last peck on the cheek before leaving you there in the hallway, stuck in place as you brought your fingers to touch your lips where he had planted his own.

No, you didn't think about it too much; you were still too shocked to process what occurred a few seconds ago. Instead, Sunwoo did against his own will. He had no idea how good and soft your lips actually felt until he did what he thought he wouldn't ever do—kiss you. He had no idea why he did it in the first place, but he knew he wouldn't be the same after that.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, Eric had seen the event play right in front of his eyes, and to say he wasn't happy about it would be an understatement. He loved Sunwoo as a best friend, but he wouldn't let any of his friends date you for multiple reasons. The two of you literally just met, and it already led to this. He found that absurd. The moment Sunwoo disappeared from his sight, he quickly walked up to you before you disappeared yourself. He held your shoulder to get your attention, his expression showing his disappointment in you.

"Stay away from Sunwoo."

"Eric, what-"

"I said what I said, do you get it?" He spoke with all seriousness, so you decided not to fight back.

"Don't worry, I hate the guy." You tried to reassure him with a smile, yet somehow it felt uncomfortable saying those words, and you had no idea why.

"Good."

"Mind telling me why you are trying so hard to play matchmaker with me and your friend, Juyo...what was his name again?"

"It's Juyeon." Eric pinched the bridge of his nose to control his patience with you, "Like I said, he's a great guy. I've already known him for years, and besides, I think it's about time you find someone to do all that romantic stuff with."

You eyed him suspiciously, "Hmm, that's weird, especially coming from you. You usually don't care about my relationships, then all of a sudden, you're doing this to me." Hearing no response from him, you nodded. "Don't worry, Eric. I absolutely want nothing to do with any of your friends." You waved him off, moving your way up the stairs, when his next words made you halt in your steps.

"I'm setting you up on a date with Juyeon, no buts."

You turned to study his expression, and, oh, was he serious, "Why are you even so persistent about this? I don't get it; what do you gain out of it?"

Eric walked past you, not bothering to look you in the eye. He thought that if he caught the look on your face, he might say things he didn't want to say. "Stop complaining and be grateful that I'm looking out for you."

You didn't fight back anymore, and you didn't know what to say after that. Eric may not show his affection much, but whenever he does, he means it. He always does, and despite acting the way he does with his friends, he never fails to be the best older brother for you. Right now, he's being overprotective of you, and you wanted to know what made him act this way. You're his younger sister, after all. But, why is he doing this?

Sunwoo let out a huff in disbelief at what Eric was trying to tell him right now, "You're joking?" He placed both his arms on the headrest of the couch, looking across the room to where Eric stood by the kitchen as he busied himself with some groceries.

"If I was joking, I wouldn't even bother doing this." Eric entered the living room and found himself a seat beside Sunwoo, grabbing a can of beer from the coffee table before leaning back on the couch. "I'm setting you up with a friend of mine."

Sunwoo had no idea why Eric suddenly proposed such a thing: setting him up with someone who he doesn't know, who might be a complete stranger to him...someone who isn't you. He wasn't the type to reject being set up on dates; he enjoys that, but it's different this time. It now felt oddly uncomfortable for him; it made him feel uneasy just thinking about seeing people who didn't match his energy and only liked him for his looks. He didn't want to pretend to be someone he wasn't; he wanted someone to understand him for him. His thoughts led back to you, how you always challenge him with confidence, how you always have your guards up, and to the incident the night before, how soft your lips felt, and how he wishes to feel more-

"Thanks for the offer, dude, but I think I'll pass."

Because you like my sister?, Eric thought, and he hated thinking about it even for a second. Both you and Sunwoo tried to reject the same offer, and knowing that something had happened the other night, he wouldn't let that go easily. "Come on, just go for it. You usually get hyped up with this type of thing; what changed?"

y/n happened. That's what changed. Sunwoo wanted to say, but it would sound like a sin coming from his own mouth. The thing is, he hated you. That's what he should be doing—hating you instead of imagining how it would feel to have you. All it took was one kiss and an attitude to leave a lasting effect on him—something he didn't know he could feel. Then again, it wasn't so 'Sunwoo' of him to be like that. If he accepted Eric's offer, maybe he could slowly forget about everything that had happened. Maybe he could pretend that he didn't feel anything towards you. There's nothing to lose, right?

"Who even is this so-called friend of yours?"

"Oh it's just you, Emily." Sunwoo stared boredly at the woman in front of him, "Why did you even agree to this knowing it was me you're being set up with?"

The woman let out a sarcastic laugh while her hands were busy stirring her now almost empty drink, "I didn't agree, especially when I knew it was you. In fact, Eric forced me to in exchange for free lunch for a week and maybe a month if we keep this up."

Sunwoo found it very weird how his best friend was doing all this, and for what? Sure, Eric would introduce him to women, but only when they were interested or if they wanted something. But this? Emily doesn't even see Sunwoo as anything other than a mutual friend; she has other things to care about.

"Hey, Sunwoo." Emily's voice brought him back to reality, and she noticed how distracted he had become since she spoke a few minutes ago, "If you don't want to do this, you can just tell me. It's not like I really care about the free lunch anyway."

He looked up at her, surprised at how she sounded concerned for him. Maybe she does care after all. "Oh, haha. It's not that; I was just distracted-"

"Clearly."

Sunwoo laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. Emily continued to observe the man who continuously fidgeted in his seat; she wanted to ask what bothered him so much, but she didn't want to pry into his business. Suddenly, her phone buzzed from the table, and she saw Juyeon's name pop up on the screen, so she excused herself to answer the call.

"Hey, Em...please save me~." Juyeon sounded like he was hiding in the bathroom from the echo of his voice.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"Remember the date Eric set me up with?"

"Yeah?"

"He set me up with his sister! His sister, Em! I can't believe this, I can't do this anymore." She can hear whines echoing on the other line, and Juyeon was clearly stressed about the situation.

Oh..."That's weird, why would he set his sister up with his own friend? I thought he hated that."

"Exactly!" Juyeon's voice got louder, and Emily had to move the phone away from her ear, "He even forced me to do this in exchange for food."

Emily's eyes widened at the realization, "Hold on." She looked back towards where Sunwoo sat at the table with his headphones on and a drink in hand, "I'm actually also on a date right now, but my date looks like he wants out. Wanna bring her here with us?"

And that's how you found yourself sitting beside Sunwoo with Juyeon and Emily across from you, staring at each other in awkward silence. Juyeon looked more confused than you and Sunwoo, while Emily shook her head and crossed her arms to her chest.

"Am I the only one who's aware here?" The lack of response confirmed her question. "Right, of course."

You and Sunwoo exchanged a look of confusion, shrugging your shoulders in the process. Emily sighed deeply before looking straight towards the both of you, catching you off guard. "Be honest, you two. Something happened between the two of you, no?"

She didn't miss the way your eyes widened at her question, and she smirked when she caught you right in her trap. "Knew it." It felt as if you were a deer caught in the headlights, and you could only hope that she wouldn't say a word to Eric or you'd be dead. Emily stood up from her seat, slinging her bag and brushing her hair away from her shoulders. "I think my job here is done; the same goes with my cousin. Poor thing looks like he could cry any second now." Juyeon whined, causing Emily to laugh at his reaction.

You, however, didn't know what to do, what to say, or how to act around the man beside you. Now that the two of them had left, you were again stuck in silence with the person you wanted to avoid so badly. No one spoke a word; all that was heard was soft breathing and the sound of other customers talking.

"Do you wanna go somewhere else?" Sunwoo turned to you with an empty look, "Since our dates ditched us, might as well spend the day together."

He wasn't wrong, and it wouldn't be wrong to spend the day with him after getting dressed up for a 'date' that was so painfully forced as if it would ever work out. It wouldn't. With that, you and Sunwoo spent the rest of the day at the arcade and the park, eating street foods and talking about each other's childhood memories. This went on for three more times, with Sunwoo secretly bringing you home at the end of the day instead of Juyeon. You and him made an agreement with Juyeon and Emily to pretend that the dates went well to hide from Eric the fact that you hang out Sunwoo behind his back.

As for Sunwoo, he wasn't as bad company as you thought he was going to be. He was actually pretty observant of your preferences, little habits, and how you react to certain things; he found it very intriguing and, as much as he hated to admit it, cute. You also noticed his little habits and how he always makes sure that you are walking on the inner side of the sidewalk, pushing the door for you, and insisting on paying for the food despite your constant complaints about it. Nevertheless, he was fun.

"It didn't work out with Juyeon? Why? Did he do or say anything to you, or is it the other way around?" Eric bombarded you with questions after you mentioned to him how you stopped seeing Juyeon after the third 'date', "Tell me, y/n."

You couldn't tell him the reason why. If you did, you wouldn't see the end of his anger, and you understood why. You couldn't blame him, but he also couldn't blame you for enjoying Sunwoo's company either. What exactly could you say at this moment?

"Our personalities probably didn't match; we barely have any common interests, so it wasn't going to work out even if we tried."

"Bummer." You heard Eric humming beside you while you were busy washing the dishes at the sink, "There's probably someone else I can set you up with; maybe Younghoon? Jacob could work too."

You appreciate your brother's efforts in finding the right man for you, but the thing is, you didn't want anyone else. Your mind would always come back to the thoughts of his best friend, the man he warned you about. You only wanted him: Kim Sunwoo.

How could I want anyone else when Sunwoo treats me so well? He treats me as if I am worthy of being loved, being spoiled, and being alive.

Sunwoo brought you lots of food to your place when you told him through the phone that you hadn't had dinner yet because you got too caught up in paperwork and left a note on top of it with the words "Finish this or I won't show up ever again. Goodluck :)" written on it. You made sure nothing was left on the containers, not even a grain of rice or a single crumb.

Sunwoo also went out of his way to borrow Juyeon's car in the middle of the night to drive himself to your friend's house, where you were. You had so many drinks that night that you couldn't think straight anymore, so your friend told you to go home. Your first thought was to call Eric, but because you were too drunk to think, you decided to click on the name at the top of the screen, the most recent person you sent a message to. The person picked up the call, but you were already asleep, so your friend answered the call instead. That's why Sunwoo was there in no time.

"Sorry for the inconvenience; we couldn't stop her from drinking too much." Your friend apologized to Sunwoo while he gently carried you to the back of the car, where you could lie down.

"Don't worry about it, I'm just glad she called me."

Until one day, he changed your life. The day you realized you needed him by your side until your last breath, almost quite literally. Sunwoo was your angel, your lifesaver, and you would never let Eric take him away from you this time.

You were on your way home late at night from a friend's house, and you didn't bother calling Sunwoo because it was only a few minutes walk to your place, except he knew better than to leave you in the streets at that time, so he forced you to tell him your whereabouts. If it weren't for his persistence, he might not be able to forgive himself ever again.

He was already nearby where you were when he noticed a man in black strolling a distance behind you, his steps fastening in pace, ready to jump on you, and he was alerted to your safety. As fast as he could, he ran in your direction before the man could lay his dirty fingers on you. He grabbed your wrist without warning and quickly pulled you faster to where your place was, making you shriek in fear until you slowly calmed down when you realized it was him. Sunwoo pulled you into a tight hug the moment you two entered your house, locking the door behind him. He was so relieved you were safe.

"Sunwoo...what's wrong?"

He didn't reply; he only hugged you tighter if it was even possible. "Hey, what happened? Why were you in a rush-"

"Don't." He let out a deep breath beside your neck, causing shivers down your spine, "Just- let me stay here with you tonight." He finally pulled back to look at you straight in the eyes, and you saw a mix of worry, anger, and relief behind his gaze, "Please."

Since then, he hasn't brought that incident up because it made him mad and he didn't want to remember the day that your life was at risk. He was just glad he was there to save you, and you were still standing beside him with a smile on your face.

"I don't ever want to lose you, y/n."

Unfortunately, Eric had other plans. "How many times do I have to tell you to stay away from Sunwoo?" He was fuming, and it made you scared, but you weren't going to give up just like that. "You cannot date him; you cannot love him."

His last words suddenly made your heart hurt. It might sound like the craziest thing if the old you said it, but you love Sunwoo. He was more than just the man you fought with at a store or the man who kissed you at a club, he was the man who made you laugh so hard until your stomach would hurt and he was the man who made you believe in love again. Eric just doesn't see that; he doesn't understand any of this. "Is that why you set me up with Juyeon, or are you trying to ruin everything for your friends?"

He walked up closer to you, but you didn't move an inch from where you stood, "Is looking out for you ruining it for my friends, y/n?"

"You didn't have to do this, Eric. You could've ve just been honest with me, and it wouldn't have to reach this point."

"Oh, and if I were honest with you, would you really stay away from him? You think I'd believe that?"

Now, you were mad. You were hurt by his lack of trust in you; your own brother doubted your honesty. And I thought he cared for me; what about my feelings? I can't hide this any longer. "So, what if I like him? Is Sunwoo really that bad? Because, as far as I know, he did nothing but treat me with respect. If you think so badly of him, why bother being friends with him then?"

"Sunwoo as a friend and Sunwoo as a lover are two different things!" He now raised his voice with every word he spoke, but you didn't budge.

"And we are different people, Eric. How sure are you that he would hurt me? You don't know him enough." He doesn't know the whole story.

Eric let out a breath of disbelief at your words. He couldn't believe what he was hearing from your mouth right now. "And you do? You know him better than I do?"

"That's not-"

"This is exactly why I don't want you near him!" You flinched at the sudden raise of his voice, and you wondered if the neighbors had heard him at how loud it was, "I don't want history to repeat itself, y/n. Can't you understand?"

You do; you know exactly what he's talking about, and you don't have the courage to fight back anymore. Eric would do anything not to let you experience the past all over again, and you get that.

So the next day, you found yourself in another argument with Sunwoo this time. You told him you'd visit him at his place, but he had no idea what your visit was for. Your back was facing him as you tried to hide the pained expression on your face; you couldn't face him properly like this.

"We can't be together, Sunwoo."

"Why? Because of Eric?" He stepped closer behind your back, "His opinion doesn't matter."

You closed your eyes to keep the frustration in, "It does, that's just how it is."

Then, silence. No one spoke a word for a few minutes—just the sound of breathing and his heart beating so loud that you hoped he couldn't hear yours. It was so painfully quiet that you wanted to turn and see his face, which admittedly calmed you down all the time, but you couldn't until he questioned you with a hushed voice.

"Why are you so mean to me? Why are you pushing me away after everything we've done together as if what we had didn't mean anything to you at all, as if I didn't matter to you."

"Please, don't say that."

"No, y/n. I want to know why you're doing this, why you're letting me go so easily-"

"Because the best way not to get your heart broken is to pretend you don't have one!" You finally turned to him, losing your composure as you let out all your frustration into your words, "Yet, here I am." You caught the way his eyes stared into yours with shock, curiosity, and worry, and you were afraid he would see right through it, so you quickly averted your gaze away from his.

To your surprise, he brought your chin up with his thumb and index finger to meet your eyes again. He didn't want to step boundaries, no. But the way you said those words with hidden anger and pain made him feel protective of you. He wanted to change your perception of love the way you did with his; he wanted to be the man who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated: with the utmost care, love, and respect. He never knew what genuine love felt like until he knew the real you.

In the most careful way possible, he asked, "Did someone hurt you before?"

His question brought back memories of your past—the past where your abusive ex-lover was still in your life. It triggered memories of your ex treating you so badly in any way he could: ignoring you when you drove hours just to see him, talking badly about you to his friends even when you were in the same room, blaming you when minor inconveniences happened that were caused by other people, and the worst one, slapping you on the cheek when you accidentally broke one of his figurine collections. Even though you were willing to replace it with the exact same figurine from the same store, he didn't have plans on forgiving you that easily. His temper became shorter, he got more aggressive, and it actually got so bad that Eric had to intervene by beating the hell out of your worthless ex and telling him off. Eric made sure that man wouldn't step a single inch near your place and lay a single finger on you ever again. That's exactly why Eric did all this—to keep you safe. He couldn't trust anyone to be near you anymore, not even his own best friend.

"What a douchebag. If I were Eric, I would've made sure your ex wouldn't ever lay a finger on you because he'll end up without any."

As much as you wanted to smile at the thought of him being very protective, like Eric was with you, you couldn't help but ask him a question that always bothered you whenever you and Eric would argue about this. "Aren't you also like that...?"

Your question left him speechless, and he felt his heart shatter at your lack of trust with him the same way you felt with Eric. He wanted to ask if you ever doubted his love for you, his actions, or his words. "And who the hell told you that? Who told you such a lie, y/n?"

"Ah...well, it's not exactly like that-"

"No." Sunwoo's voice raised in anger, "I need you to tell me right now who told you that bullshit because I am nowhere near your asshole of an ex; I will never be that toxic and abusive." He brought a finger to his chest harshly, "I may look like this and act like this, but I would never ever hurt any woman like that...especially not the woman I love. I know I tease you here and there, but I have never intended to touch you or hurt you in any way, you understand?"

"Sunwoo..."

Sunwoo let out a loud huff at the realization of the situation, resting both his hands on his hips. "If that's the reason why Eric did all that, then we have a problem here. The problem isn't us having feelings for each other; the problem is him not trusting me as a friend, and he even made assumptions about me. How does that make me feel?" He took a deep breath to calm himself down before he lost his mind, so he continued to speak in a softer voice this time. "When I love someone, I would never betray them. Yes, I had my share of questionable experiences, but the point is, he probably doesn't know me enough to say that about me."

That's what you told Eric too.

Sunwoo then turned to you, gently taking a hold of your hands and bringing them to his chest. "If you were to give me a chance, y/n, I can promise you that you will never experience pain, not even a scratch. What do you say?"

"Where is the idiot, anyway?" Entering Eric's house, you stood in his living room with full determination.

"I'm right here." You turned to find Sunwoo standing awkwardly behind you with his hands behind his back.

You gave him a reassuring smile, "Suprisingly enough, I'm not talking about you this time."

Footsteps were heard from the stairs, and there, Eric stood in confusion at the sight of you and Sunwoo beside each other, too closely for his liking. He looked at the two of you suspiciously as he asked, "Where were you and why are you with him?"

Sunwoo was about to speak up to explain on behalf of you, but you didn't give him the chance. "If I say that he's my boyfriend, are you going to tell us to break up?"

Sunwoo almost choked on his saliva while Eric's eyes widened in shock, and the two stared at you with silent questions, but you only nudged at Sunwoo to play along, which he immediately understood. However, Eric was not here to joke around. No, not at all. It was serious for him.

"Have you not learned anything?" Eric moved slowly closer to you.

"We talked it out last night." And a few confessions too... and maybe a few kisses.

Eric tittered, his gaze landing on Sunwoo, then towards your direction. "Oh, so that's where you were last night?"

"We didn't do anything bad, Eric, if that's what you're worried about. We just talked, and even if we argue sometimes, I trust Sunwoo; you have to understand that."

It took Eric a few seconds to process your words, and you gave him the time he needed. Eric's eyes shifted between you and Sunwoo, sighing to himself afterwards. "Do you...really love each other?"

"Yes." You and Sunwoo quickly turned to each other after saying the same thing at the same time, but Sunwoo broke the moment to continue his words.

"I would never hurt your sister in any way, Eric. Why don't you trust me?"

Eric quirked an eyebrow in his direction, "You really want me to answer that question?"

Sunwoo pursed his lips from that, but he continued to defend his side; he had to defend you and everything between you two. "No, but y/n is different. She makes me feel so comfortable, and hurting her would be the last thing I'd do. She's your sister; I don't want to lose you too."

That last sentence struck a part of Eric's heart, and memories of their friendship together ran through his head. From the first day they met at a dance school to the fights they saved each other from, every ups and downs they experienced together, yet here they still were. Sunwoo wouldn't want their 10 years of friendship to end because his best friend didn't trust him enough to date his sister, and Eric wouldn't want their friendship to end either, just because he wanted to protect you. Well, it was his fault. Eric knew that, but maybe he was still so furious about what you went through in the past that he wanted to beat up every man that tried to get with you, even if it was his best friend.

"Okay, fine." Eric finally replied after he thought about everything and realized that the two people in front of him, confronting him to defend their love for each other, knew what they were doing and the consequences that came with it. At the end of the day, you still make the decisions for yourself, and he was only your brother who would be there to protect you, not decide for you. "I won't intervene anymore, but if you hurt her even with a scratch, I swear, Sunwoo, I will make sure you experience worse. Got it?"

"Got it!" Sunwoo answered too quickly and enthusiastically to everyone's surprise, but you understood why, "But, where's my apology?"

"No apologies! Now, leave me alone." Eric waved you and Sunwoo away as he turned to leave the room, heading back upstairs to his bedroom, where he came from earlier before you broke into his house.

You can hear Sunwoo's breath of relief from beside you, so you slowly held his hand and intertwined your fingers with his in reassurance to let him know that you were equally as relieved as he was. The warm smile on your face brought a much bigger smile to his. He hasn't felt this happy and proud of himself until today, and he was grateful he felt it with you and because of you. It would've sounded too cheesy and annoying to Sunwoo's liking, but when he was the one experiencing this kind of emotion, all that cheesiness wouldn't even matter at all because it felt too good. Love felt so exciting to him.

"From now on, I hope the only thing we would fight over would be for a bottle of champagne."