mindfulpeach

[mindfulpeach]

GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT

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um hi, my friend wants to know if you think im hot

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help him 

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Eye contact is way more intimate than words will ever be.

(via quelmareciavevafregato)

م

(via fucking-kuwaiti)

[mindfulpeach]

Recalling these feelings 9 months after the thought is so surreal. I’ve flipped my perception of the world in a short time, it seemed like my light began to beam out of nowhere....but it really did not happen that way at all. Years of cycling through hard work, let-down, then hopelessness over and over again seemed worthless, but thats what has me standing on two feet today. I didn’t give up, I kept cycling through... practically my whole life...

Absolutely no one will understand the battles I’ve fought with myself, no one will understand how goddamn hard I worked... but it has only made my soul stronger. My work has built me a system to work with... the war will never be over, but now I have a strategy... and I’ll come out of every battle, whether lost or won, with a stronger heart. It is no one else’s fight but my own, and I deserve every Medal of Honor for each enemy I defeat and each soul I help.

Feeling worth is a process and it will be felt slowly. Climbing over the mountain that stopped me from traveling was the hardest thing I have done. Recovery doesn’t exist. I’ll have battles and mountains in this war of the life I’m living, but I won’t let those obstacles interfere with the gift of life I have. Happiness is always accessible, even after the bloodiest battles. My gaping wounds will not stop my fight, because in the end they always heal. Time is necessary. This thing doesn’t come when you want it to.... but it will be there soon.

a mood: 4/21/17

It feels like I’ve been transported into a movie and I’m just watching everything happen around me. I feel like the actions I make are doing nothing and the words I’m saying are only audible to myself. The bits of connection I’m having seems to be all forgetful and unimportant. I stare into the mirror and I don’t see myself. I see some sort of stranger, my body is not me, I don’t have physical relevance or anything to make me feel real. I’m reaching to feel like a real human but everything is a dream and I’m questioning what’s real and if reality is even a reliable source. I’m told to reach outside of myself but I can only get so far before I burn. I feel like I’m not even controlling it anymore. There are people around me that I want so badly to connect with but no matter how close I come, I still haven’t broken through to them. I’ve worked so hard I’ve tried my best but I can’t do enough. I want to be a better person, I want people to love me, I want people to want to love me, but I’m still stuck. I’ve been stuck and I don’t know how to get out. I don’t know how to step into someone’s light without feeling like I’m invading. I need someone else to help me, but I can’t even ask for help.

[mindfulpeach]

I just feel like heaven and hell are a place that’s inside each of us and we’re the ones who choose which one to explore. I mean, like, you know, I think you have to have both to have an understanding of why they exist. Shit wouldn’t be balanced if we didn’t have hell. I don’t think you’d be able to appreciate how amazing it feels to sit on a rooftop with all your friends as you’re watching the sunset listening to your favorite Lorde song if you didn’t want to kill yourself sometimes. You know and I think we’re all like, you know, a step away from both. I feel like both universes are so near to us. I don’t really think that heaven is all the way up at the top of whatever all of this is, and that hell is all the way down at the bottom. I think it’s all right here in front of us. I think they layer onto our realities like filters on an Instagram image. We see our lives through heaven and hell, and I think we always have a say in which one we can choose. You know because, even when your life is dog shit, heaven is just as close as it was before. You don’t really get further away from it, you just lose the ability to take notice of it, I guess. But I know how you feel, man. I feel like God is really quiet sometimes in my stupid life. But I still know that it’s all still right there in front of my face. It’s not really a matter of looking or searching, it’s a matter of seeing things for what they are. It’s all so much closer to you than you think it is. It’s all just a breath away.

Excerpt, THE INTIMACY GAP (via theintimacygap)

[mindfulpeach]

every year when the leaves fall,

when we eat turkey with eight and not nine,

the weight slides in and we all notice,

but we ignore it without giving in.

I am not sure if it matters to them,

to me it hurts like five years haven’t passed.

If you let me I’d weep just the same,

I didn’t forget, I sure did not.

I see a package,

wrapped like green tinfoil with a bow,

addressed to you and unopened.

December 2012 they said the world would end and part of mine did.

everyday someone’s family like you is lost,

but they never knew them like I know you.

I must have missed my chance to wallow,

because everyday I think of you the same.

A hole deepens in the chair you sat,

the laughter and noise cannot fill it up.

When we give and receive our presents,

the happier we are the lonelier it gets.

I know you’re somewhere you’re supposed to be

so when I pray I hope you hear me loud.

I miss your life.

Please visit me soon.

to pops from me! :)

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Like a game we treat death.  Like loss of life is not permanent.

done

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Only now have I discovered what followed me down the road in which I have travelled for eternity

satisfied frustration

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It’s December, and I have learnt that you can be both strong and fragile, all at the same time. So, when you feel like you have fallen apart so many times before this year, don’t forget the strength that has always been holding you up.

melodramatlc, writing prompt #72, write about December (via wnq-writers)

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How can she says Jesus was a white man when he died the blackest way possible? With his hands up, with his mother watching.

Crystal Valentine, from “And the News Reporter Says Jesus Is White” (via oofpoetry)

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The true meaning of being alive is constantly choosing to find meaning in your suffering.

Juansen Dizon (via juansendizon)

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Things I want to remember in 2018 1. Shameless people are everywhere. They will say what they have to say to get what they want out of you. Even if don’t mean it. Even if they know they don’t mean it. Shameless people will do what they have to, to get what they want out of you. They won’t care about your well being. They will not care about your loss. The thing is, their shameless-ness makes you feel ashamed if you don’t oblige with them. Because they are so persistent about what they want. But that’s just messed up. So be shameless when you have to deal with shameless people. Be shameless about the fact that your time, your life, you are only yours. Not in a selfish way. Only while dealing with such people. 2. Know your worth. No one will tell you your true worth because that will be a disadvantage. You being lost and confused and insecure is beneficial for them. You have to know your own worth. 3. Pick one thing. One thing you want to work on in this new year. I know there are so many things that need your time and energy. But pick one. And then dedicate time and energy to that. Everything but this is negotiable. Don’t stop working on this. You can have other things you’re working on too. But when situations arise in which you have to give up your time and focus to do something unanticipated, something unavoidable, cut down on those secondary things. But never on this one. Just one. 4. Sleep on it. Not to avoid it. Not to procrastinate. But to not be so overwhelmed. To not be so high on emotions. To not be irrational. To not make quick decisions that are reckless and rash and stupid. Sleep on it. 5. We keep thinking that we are getting older. I mean sure, we are. But being 20 is young. Being 25 is young. You’re a young adult until 32. Did you know that? Did you? I’m a 20 year old youth. And I’m not old. And I’m not going to be for a while. I know I have silver hair strands. And I know my idealism is…I won’t say it’s dying. I will say it’s altering. And that’s not a bad thing. But I’m young. And I don’t have to be dumb. I can give being young a new definition. But before, I should stop feeling so old. Being old isn’t a bad thing. Not at all. But it’s wrong to convince yourself that you’re something that you’re not. 6. Don’t follow other people. I know the thought of life after graduation seems very daunting and confusing but don’t look at others to do what they are doing. You have never liked crowds. Crowded places make you sick. Those paths are crowded and so worn out. And I know if you want to create your own, it will take time. Construction always takes time. It is a long term project but it will also provide long term benefits. And guess what? you can completely customize this path. Just like you like it. 7. What do we do about the people we hate? Endure. When it is professional, we endure. Sometimes we have to quietly bear the annoyance and frustration in the present to be able to get what we want. But remember, when it’s personal we never endure! 8. Body. I have given too much importance to my heart and soul. In that pursuit I have majorly neglected my body. For that, I am sorry. And because I know a genuine apology follows a corrective action, I will take that corrective action. I will make this right.

creatingnikki  (via wordsnquotes)

[mindfulpeach]

We are appalled by President Trump’s tweets about banning transgender people from military service. There are an estimated 15,000 transgender people already working in the Department of Defense, putting their lives on the line to protect our nation and its values. Those values do not include the heartlessness exhibited by Mr. Trump this morning. Discrimination has no place in our government, in our workplaces, our schools, or anywhere else in our lives.

While it’s still unclear what the actual policy ramifications of these tweets will be, we recommend keeping up with (and, if you can, donating to) the ACLU and the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund. 

You can also directly tell the president how unacceptable his attack on American servicepersons is by using this form provided by the @transgenderfreedomproject.

We know there will be plenty of conversation about this on Tumblr in the coming days, and we urge you to take this moment to support and educate each other in whatever ways you can. And if you just need someone to talk to right now, there are people here to listen, 24 hours a day, seven days a week:

Trans Lifeline: A crisis hotline by and for the transgender community. 877-565-8860

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Crisis Text Line: Text START to 741741

The Trevor Lifeline (@thetrevorproject​): Confidential hotline for LGBTQ+ young people. 1-866-488-7386

The GLBT National Help Center: Free and confidential peer support for the LGBTQ+ community at 1-888-843-4564. Youth Talkline: 1-800-246-7743

[mindfulpeach]

I never change, I simply become more myself.

Joyce Carol Oates, Solstice (via wordsnquotes)