pain.
tear in my heart — jung wooyoung.
— he loved you too much that you felt like you didn't deserve it.
pairing: jung wooyoung x reader
word count: 1.4k
genre: angst — with a bit of smut (not explicit)
additional notes: first things first, yes i've been posting so much lately, i know. this is one of the works i kept in google docs for so long, and this was written last year, if i’m not mistaken. i already proofread this and changed some paragraphs, but i didn’t want to edit it too much because i’ll end up contemplating if i’ll post it or not (hah). this is not connected to ‘when you love someone’ but there are a few key points that may have similarities *cough* mc not making up her mind (dedicated to @neo-shitty, by the way. here i am again. love you lol)
enjoy reading, i would greatly appreciate it if you leave feedback when you finish. thank you! xo
“You’re… breaking up with me?”
You look away from Wooyoung’s slowly faltering gaze, trying to stop yourself from getting caught up on how his voice was breaking – as if he was trying to stop choking up on his own tears. The two of you stood in the middle of his apartment, silence enveloping you both for a few moments. Wooyoung was surprised at your decision, but a part of him knew this day would come – even if he hated to admit it. Lately, the two of you have done nothing but fight all the time, with you initiating it. Guilt was slowly eating up a small part of you every time you realize that you’re starting fights when he has been nothing but kind and protective of you.
Those fights resulted in you not responding to his calls—to you having drunken nights at the bar with your friends, to Wooyoung not being able to sleep at night just thinking about where you could possibly be at that time of the night. Three nights earlier, you fought with him when he picked you up at 10 PM in the club. You were drunk – and Wooyoung’s chest hurt at the sight of you not wanting to go home with him.
He kept wondering where he went wrong. More so, he blamed himself that you were upset with him most of the time.
Was he a bad boyfriend? Was he not doing this right?
No. He was doing it right. You were just a terrible person.
“Y/n,” his voice snaps you back to reality, and your gaze returns to him. “Why?”
You try to take your eyes off him again, but you find yourself just staring at him – a slight look of guilt in your seemingly emotionless gaze. “Wooyoung, you don't—” you sigh, swallowing the tight lump in your throat. “You don't deserve me.”
He shakes his head, “I do deserve you. I'm going to give you all the reasons why I do.”
This time, you couldn't help but snort back a laugh, as you dismiss his statement with a wave of your hand. “This is what I've learned to hate about you.”
Wooyoung blinks, lips parting in surprise. “What?”
“You've always been too nice—too considerate. I could run you over with a truck and you'd still see the good in me. You'd tell your friends it wasn't my fault when it was,” you reply, your words slowly sinking into his head as he falters once again and tries to stop his tears. “I could break your heart in a blink of an eye and you'd still continue to love me.”
You finally look away, clenching your fists out of annoyance—not at him, but at yourself. You couldn't believe you're saying all of this to Wooyoung—to the man you loved. Now you're watching him break apart right in front of you.
“You don't mean all of that,” Wooyoung swallows, and you wince.
You're right. I don't.
“Do you not love me anymore? Please be honest with me. I won't be mad, but are you–” he stops for a moment, trying to choose his words carefully as he also tries to ignore the heavy sensation in his chest. “Are you seeing someone else now?”
The moment you refuse to respond, his heart heavies even more. You weren't seeing anyone, that's for sure. It wasn't the reason that you're leaving him, either. You were just tired of everything, you were tired of being in a relationship—but even with all those reasons, you wouldn't leave for somebody else. Seemed to be a pretty bullshit reason to give up on someone who did nothing but love you, but your mind was a fucked up place.
“I'm not seeing anyone,” you finally say, and Wooyoung visibly breathes out in relief, suddenly feeling less tense than earlier. You figured you didn't have anything to say anymore, so you reach to the side and grab your bag. He notices this immediately, as his expression solemns once again.
Before you could grab the door handle, he grabbed hold of your hand. “W-Wait—Y/n wait,” his voice was so soft, so gentle and pleading. You close your eyes shut, your stomach churning.
Please just let me go. Don't make this harder for the both of us.
“I need to go, Wooyoung.”
Wooyoung tightens his grip around your hand, almost pulling on it as he begs. “Please… just stay with me one more night.”
You turn around, looking up at him as you narrow your eyes and frown. “Wooyoung,” you press, a little bit of warning hinting at the tone of your voice. “Stop. This is going to hurt you even more.”
“I don’t care,” he has always been so stubborn, and these were the moments where you just wished he wasn’t. This whole situation he was putting himself on was risky. “I just– I need you tonight… even just for the last time.”
“Okay,” you finally respond, your fingertips slowly letting the door knob go. “You have me for tonight.”
Wooyoung doesn’t waste a second as he leans forward, holding your face gently before pressing his lips to yours. You close your eyes and kiss him back, slow and gentle, and you feel him take in a shuddering breath as he pulls you close. The way he kissed you was soft and passionate—with sadness lingering behind it, and your hands made their way to where his was and held them tightly.
At that sudden action, he tries his best not to cry even more, and you can taste the saltiness of his tears dropping from his eyes to his lips. Your heart tightens as you feel it dropping to your stomach – the guilt of leaving him slowly eating you alive.
That night, the two of you were tangled in the sheets for the last time, Wooyoung leaving gentle and passionate kisses all over your chest as your bodies joined together. He muffles your moans by kissing you, savoring you while the moment lasts. As you hold tightly onto him with every thrust, the promise ring on your finger—the one he gave you on your first anniversary—glistens against the moonlight that was peering from the window.
Before reaching your highs, he reaches for your hand and intertwines your fingers, and this time, his promise ring was the one that glistened in the moonlight.
When you both release, he lets out a grunt before collapsing beside you. He scoops you up in your arms and you embrace him back half-heartedly.
“I love you.” he blurts out after a few moments. You looked up at him, and you could see his tear-stained cheeks and swollen lips. Wooyoung managed to give you a small smile despite the heavy weight in his chest.
“Wooyoung…” you beg. Please stop hurting yourself.
“Just– Just say it back, please,” he swallows tightly. “Even if you don't mean it.”
You frown, but give in. “Okay, Wooyoung. I love you too,” you say, and Wooyoung hoped the heaviness in his heart would disappear when you said it, but it didn’t. It tightens even more. You shift gently in his arms, before sighing softly, your hand reaching to his cheek to caress them gently. “Get some rest. I'll be here all night.”
He gives you one longing look first, before nodding his head, holding you close before his heavy eyelids flutter close.
The next morning when he woke up, he was greeted with nothing but an empty space beside him and messy sheets. The promise ring he gave that once meant so much to you was placed on top of the bedside table, along with the memories and scent of you lingering behind.
— © 99zmist.
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ATEEZ comeback goals!
Hello ATINY! Here are our Comeback Goals for the upcoming Comeback on September 13!
if you have any questions, please DM me or check out @AtinyNetwork @AtinyAcademy and @ATYstream on Twitter!
Album Sales:
Pre-orders: 500k
1st Day Sales: 200k
DO NOT BUY FROM MMT/MYMUSICTASTE ON THE FIRST DAY BECAUSE THE FIRST DAY SALES AND PRE ORDERS DO NOT COUNT THERE
YouTube:
1st Day: 8-10M views
1st Week: 18M views
iTunes:
#1 Worldwide iTunes Songs Chart
#1 Worldwide iTunes Albums Chart
Shazam:
1st Day - 15k Shazam’s
Spotify:
1st Day - 600k Streams (Title Track)
1st Day - 2.5M streams (Album)
Billboard:
Debut @ BB200
BB World Digital Song Sales: Top5
Digitals:
Genie Real Time Chart - Top 50
Genie Weekly Chart - Top 150
BUGS! Real Time Chart - Top 5
BUGS! Weekly Chart - Top 100
Gaon Weekly Chart
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For only $20 you too can fuck Satan
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CREAM. TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK.
MEMORIZE THE PACKAGING SO YOU MAKE SURE YOU NEVER BUY THIS CREAM FOR YOURSELF OR ANYONE YOU LOVE.
This post is about vaginas. My vagina in particular. I get yeast infections pretty regularly, and until recently I was able to afford to see a doctor who could prescribe me fluconazole.
Fluconazole, a drug also known by the brand name Diflucan, is a small pink pill. You take two pills a few days apart from each other to restore balance and harmony to your bountiful folds. I’ve never ever had a bad side effect from taking this pill.
Cut to November 2016. I’m a recent college grad without reliable health care coverage in the process of finding a job. And I’m dealing with a yeast infection. Before I moved out of state, my previous doctor told me about Miconazole. She said it was as effective as the pill and hallelujah, it’s over the counter! I decided to purchase the cream pictured above. This treatment only lasted 3 days, a convenient time frame for my schedule.
The application process was a little messy, and some of the cream came in contact with my vulva and labia. Within 5 minutes every piece of skin that had come in contact with the cream, excluding my hands, was on fire. I wanted to scream it was so painful. I began frantically searching for what I should do online.
I found a whole forum of people on drugs.com who had experienced something similar. These comments saved me, and these were just on the first page. There were 33 pages total, the earliest dated July 2009.
I was writhing in pain at 2AM when I found this forum (which I found by searching “my vagina burn itch hurts after miconazole” on Google). As soon as I read these comments I threw the devil cream directly into the trash and jumped in the shower. I didn’t feel any actual relief until I reached in and scraped the cream out of me. I paid $17 plus tax on this bullshit, but I could have just as easily ripped up my money or paid someone to not hurt me.
The moral of the story is that vaginal health care is is completely fucked up because we don’t have access to an over the counter cure for yeast infections that is safe for our bodies and also YOU SHOULD NEVER BUY THIS CREAM EVER.
Reblog to save a vagina.
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Listen up!
You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled
Hit that.
Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern
Yes.
Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in
Tumblr will follow up and help them.
Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!
This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.
YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.
And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.
You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.
This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.
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