miraculan-draws - Tumblr blog

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Astarion walking into the fight with Cazador, skin glowy and moisturized, recently fed off of thinking blood, hair freshly curly girl-routined, surrounded by allies (one of them on fire... several of the others in possession of at least 2 different "disentigrate that old man" spells), dressed to the nines in the finest clothes the world has to offer, pockets jangling with the 30k gold and the copious amounts of jewelry we have given him throughout the journey, chapstick: on, four ghouls he summoned with his newly acquired Necromancy of Thay knowledge b-boying along beside of him, big wet kiss mark on his forehead: fuck you!

Cazador, with 2 bucks and cobwebs in his bank account, no steeze, no friends, no real plan of attack except the 8 dudes he found on craigslist, and yet all the audacity in the world: I got this... He has NOTHING ON ME!!!

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I AM NOT DONE YET BECAUSE I LOVE ELF SHIT!!

More Astarion speaking elvish. More complicated emotion in regards to religion—for a high elf named after the stars, one who tried all the gods and was ignored. More about being abandoned by Correllon, the Protector of Elves, the Father, who guides wayward souls by starlight. More about his FAMILY because he's not even that old!! They're like most definitely alive!! Where are they from? Did he leave home on good terms? More Astarion as our translator, more Astarion gossiping with Elf Tav and feeling so much more at ease and less prone to performing, but if you EVER BRING IT UP he'll shut down. He's all pointy ears. I would like to discuss the pointy ears and their implications.

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The answer is however many show up outside the window he tosses food scraps of. I'm sure Astarion comes up with beautiful names for each of them but they're just called "cat" 85% of the time.

Bed time would be a real unbalanced situation during winter.

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Hey we saw you from across the glade and we really hate your vibe.

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Something I find. VERY fascinating—like a lot of this is just vibe reads verging on hc but bear with me—

Cazador Szarr is very like...buttoned up? We hear him described as a very powerful monster by Astarion through the whole game and when you finally meet him he's like so PRIM. He's not unhinged or rabid. His body language is very upright and rigid. He's buttoned up to the neck, not a hair out of place. He has an objectively handsome symmetry to his face, but not moreso than any other elves we see in-game really. There is a strange sort of like. Sexless read I get on him that feels intentional—theres none of the classic "Dracula" appeal with him, despite the fact that THATS the role he pushed the spawn into. There's nothing to be drawn to. He's a possessed mannequin. There's nothing left to pick away at or gnaw on until youve killed him.

And so much of the violence described in this quest line is psychosexual in nature, but its orchestral conductor, its engineer, does not wear that nature in his appearance or posture or speech. You almost picture a smarmy Gortash type to be our master vampire, but no. It's a neat and tidy Cazador Szarr. It is fascinating design and writing.

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Anything for you pookie <3

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most dramatic wizard ever

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Patch 7 Elminster showing up to tell Gale to blow himself up

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theo doodles wyll

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☝️IM ALWAYS SOMETIMES SAYING THIS

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I literally couldn't love this man more

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Astarion is still fluent in elvish you guys are just scared of the comedy potential that is having to put absolute faith in ASTARION!!! to be your translator in de-escalation scenarios.

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Petras Leon Yousen Aurelia otherwise normal but now have advantage against being charmed and magic can't put them to sleep

It is a cool nod to the monster manual that Cazador's staff "Woe" has the spell "Blight" on it, beCAUSE!! Each race does not receive vampirism the same way and powerful elven vampires CAN IN FACT drain the life from the environment. The REAL QUESTION IS!! Does the curse of vampirism adapt to its host, or does it have strains? Like is Petras infected with elven vampirism??

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The Bear

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Me in 2018: I can't thirst post that's embarrassing

Me now: I know he nuts loud and abundant

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#starry comp for more

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I forgot to share this here... Very cursed Astarion memes, for fun, as a lil treat