mischiefmanaged777twoofus

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

me, wiping dust off of surfaces in my room: It's times like these that I truly empathise with the admin.

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

tribbles: just worse poofs.

Another reason why should everybody love Star Trek:

a heap of devastated expressions of Jim Kirk in The Trouble with Tribbles

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

do pillows turn into crocodiles when punched? do you ride legs or walk a bike? what is the meaning of pumpkin?

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

almost *nobody* wants to listen to me talk about things I like and then they wonder why I don't talk much when asked about topics I don't care about or don't know about or am not good at talking about

Man though you know what makes me sorta sad is when nerdy, “quiet” kids latch on to me during camp and they just talk and talk and talk about a thing they’re into (Skyrim, Pokemon, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, dinosaurs, whatever). And I see the kids just light up when they say something and I can chime in with an ‘oh hey, are you talking about [x]? I love that thing! Tell me more about it.’

Like, their parents will warn me ‘so-and-so is pretty quiet and hard to engage’ but no, man, just listen, your kid is so smart and so into This Thing, they’ll engage like fuck and talk your damn ear off it you let them. Frame it in their damn terms. Or! Just! Listen to them about their Thing! And they will engage with the rest of the material! Because they know you care about them! Amazing!!!

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

I remember one time I had to eat a bunch of sugar for some medical test thing and the person handling the test was like "do you want me to squeeze a lemon on that, it's probably too sweet" and I went "nope" and ate all the sugar it is very hard to get me to declare something too sweet

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

I am proud of myself every time I actually recognise someone who I haven't been looking at for most of my life. Some people are easier than others, though. I might not even have this thing but I still relate.

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

Is there a way to search tvtropes for media that has several tropes you like all at the same time?

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

This is a Russian cartoon series thing called Kotenok Gaf (Котёнок Гав) = (a) Kitten (called) 'Bark' (as in the sound a dog makes)

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

Don't mess with a schoolteacher.

My mom was a schoolteacher, and the sponsor of one of the school’s student organizations that did charity work in the community.  One of the ways they raised funds was to sell candy bars.  She had a locked cabinet where said candy bars were stored, but there was one problem– the maintenance guy had keys for all of the cabinets, and he was going in to the cabinets and helping himself to ridiculous amounts of free chocolate.  We’re talking $10 to $15 worth a day, which of course was severely depleting the funds raised to the point where they were raising as much money to support this jerk’s sweet tooth as they were for the community.

When she brought it to the attention of the school administration, the maintenance guy threatened to sue both the school system and my mother for slander, and since there was no way to prove it (this was the 80’s and surveillance technology was not cheap at the time), the administration told her to back off on the accusation or she would be fired for being a legal liability.

So my mom asked me to create a few fake flyers for a bake sale, and made some large double-chocolate fudge brownies. I had wrapped them and put labels on them marking them at $2.00 each, and she locked a tin full of them in the cabinet on Friday– he always took a little extra on Fridays, to get him through the weekend.

In addition to taking almost $20 worth of chocolate, he took FIVE of the brownies.  Mind you, when I say they were large, we’re talking about small cakes.  And when I say they were double chocolate, I mean they were the normal amount of chocolate– followed by a healthy dose of chocolate-flavored laxatives.

He wasn’t at work for a week.  Mom actually felt kind of bad about it– she had no idea he would take so many of them, and he very well could have killed himself. 

So after a week, she gets called into the office, and there’s maintenance guy– he’s clearly lost several pounds and still isn’t looking very healthy.  And there, on the principal’s desk, is the tin of brownies.  He is again threatening a lawsuit, and says he’s going to the cops.

Mom, of course, denies everything, and says if he doesn’t have any proof, he’s the one that’s going to get sued.  He says that he’s got the brownies as proof– at which point she opens the brownie tin that now contains REGULAR brownies, normal sized, and all in one zip-lock bag.  She eats one right in front of the principal, and offers him one.  (Remember, I was the one that had wrapped them, and the label was computer printed– none of her fingerprints, none of her handwriting.)

The principal then fired the guy because he’d just admitted that he was stealing.

Petty Revenge: Your daily dose of the best petty revenge stories.

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

Labyrinths that contain two versions of each thing in sizes human large and lilliputian small and some things change your size. People chasing me and I have to hide, disguise myself, and fly. Only I can fly and flight has a very specific mechanism which is not the most convenient but makes perfect sense in my head. Meeting people and doing stuff with them, including fictional people, possibly even primarily fictional people. All objects are made of edible things, in particular sweet things. Things or people switching. (Like, I am having tea with Alexander Hamilton but then he turns into Harry Potter and then back again and again) Nightmare #1: I, for whatever reason, can't breathe. Lucid dream #1: I am all-powerful. I clean EVERYTHING. Everything is clean. Air is the most clean and fresh. Then people read my mind.

I’m curious - reblog with the most common themes of your dreams in the tags.

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

ELF BELL !!!

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

Pulling all nighters by greenapplefreak

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

Iliar’s Guide to kidnapping

Make sure to use the correct titles for your kidnappee. A king is referred to as your majesty, a duke your grace, a prince your highness.

If your kidnapee is in need of comfort be sure to provide it. A hug can do wonders.

Accept hugs in return if you’re upset.

Try and come up with solutions for any problems in their life. There’s no reason that everybody can’t leave this situation better off.

Take them for a relaxing walk to enjoy the scenery. People don’t spend enough time in nature.

Don’t flirt with them.

Don’t tell them they’re pretty.

It doesn’t count as flirting if it’s done by apophasis, right?

Fuck

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

A thought

Heading to bed, but I had to share this thought. Imagine a world where Superman grew up watching Steven Universe.

Where a young Clark Kent could follow the story of a boy of extraterrestrial origin learning about his own powers. Some were useful (like his bubble) some were scary (like the cat fingers) and he didn’t know what he could do since new powers he didn’t understand would keep popping up. 

Imagine how Clark would have identified with him in “The Test″ when the Gems were talking about how Steven was a kind of life form they’d never seen before, and while they were trying their best, they weren’t sure if they were raising him how he needed.

Imagine him smiling over Greg Universe. A human man who didn’t always understand what was going on in his son’s life, but loved him unconditionally, just like Ma and Pa loved him.

And imagine his glee when Steven continued to save the day, not because of his amazing powers, but because he truly was a good person who’d rather talk to people than fight them.

And just imagine on quiets nights in Metropolis, him floating about the city, where no one could here him, and singing softly under his breath “Is there anything that’s worth more than Peace and Love on the planet Earth.”

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

Okay but Momentum also has pretty cool magic and doesn't peal with any Ardas! (mostly kind of advice or something idk) (actual answer for me:) I might choose to go to any of: Revelation (if I can be guaranteed I will land in the Incandescence version, which (I think?) allows offworlders to become daeva, or if that does not the MWF version definitely does because I remember an Angel Vorkosigan, I forget which one or what but still!), Wellspring <3 (also only if I can be guaranteed at least a Cooper's/Effulgence Wizard Cam's worth of magic or possibly also if I can go back and forth *and* take people), Nuime :D, Henshin ^_^ (thank you @maggiedeshiboux for inventing this world it is one of my favourite worlds), Claimverse (thank you Unbitwise for inventing this world it has a very very satisfying mechanic) or the aforementioned Momentum. I might also like choose to go to a pealed world and talk to the bells there and tell them all the stuff I know that's going to happen and let them ~read my mind~ and hope they decide I am nice enough to give magic stuff (AURAS why doesn't everyone want auras I have no clue whatsoever if they didn't trust me for wishcoins I would beg them to figure something out to let me have an aura, behavior constraints, constant mind reading, WHATEVER) and talk to them about their policy of not giving normal people any magic and advise them to set up a gendershifting ground rule *at least*, if applicable, and hopefully all my thoughts on safe useful powers (what harm could anyone possibly cause with flight, bells?). Possibly I might choose to go to Alisa Selezneva's world (Russian book, Space Opera type thing, dunno if that's the best way to transliterate the name but whatever) but that is pending a re-read of it.

If you could magically transport yourself to some fictional world[1], which one would you pick? And is the answer any different if you could go back and forth between it and the real world, versus being stuck there forever? [1]An existing one, not one invented for this purpose--but you can pick the time period, like, "middle earth during peaceful times".

If it’s one-way then the only sensible answer would be a peaceful future where humanity has flourished and gone to the stars, like Greg Egan’s Amalgam.

But if you can make return trips then it would be ideal to be able to visit different fictional worlds, basically the ultimate VR experience.

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

Aww!!! List of nice cute people who I currently remember existing and want to send nice feelings at: @shitifindon (infinity cute, too much to list), @throne3d, Teceler (idk if she has a tumblr, if she does someone tell me), @aestrix, @shedoesnotcomprehend (Jean: too moridorable), @inquisitivefeminist, @luminousalicorn (re-reading very early Effulgence and loving Stella and empathising with Alice about how Stella is awesome), @curiousdiscoverer (Faix!!!)

Hey I haven’t interacted with @aestrix in a while but recently remembered that she is a very nice and good person, yay for Aestrix existing!

[mischiefmanaged777twoofus]

I am imagining scandalised Elves now.