miserablyfestive

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i think i struck a nerve there

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[miserablyfestive]

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

[miserablyfestive]

"this filter will show you if your teeth are yellow" "this filter will show you if your nose is perfect" "this filter will show you if your face is symmetrical" "this filter will show you if your lips are big" how about if we all blew up our phones forever

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working a non food service job for the first time in over two years and now i Make Appointments. and the fun thing about Make Appointments jobs is if you dont like someones vibes you can say there are no more Appointments

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Achilles wouldn’t have died if he was wearing OSHA approved work boots.

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throwback to that time in my existentialism class where the professor asked ‘who thinks hell is other people’ and half the class slowly and meekly put their hand up

then the prof was like ‘…i mean who originally said it’

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beach boys… city girls… mountain goats…

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Milestone day for Rutabaga! He's grooming and playing! He's managed to hold onto the "regular kitten" form for most of the day!

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what socks do pirate love the most?

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losing my MIND

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Please boost this!

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hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*