misguided-matchmaker

[misguided-matchmaker]

My latest New Scientist cartoon. Based on a true story. Well, the first panel is true, anyway.

[misguided-matchmaker]

My latest New Scientist cartoon. Based on a true story. Well, the first panel is true, anyway.

[misguided-matchmaker]

also speaking of jakub różalski this painting of his is my FAVOURITE like yes girl snitch on the knight!!! get his ass!!!

[misguided-matchmaker]

having spent one (1) day in brooklyn i now feel entitled to make #relatable nyc posts. let me try:

when you take the 'A Train' and you. sit on the train, and travel several stops and then you reach your destination and then you get off the train .🤣

[misguided-matchmaker]

[misguided-matchmaker]

saddest thing that can happen is a cat so delicately and cozy putting their small apple head on your leg like a pillow to sleep while fully unaware that in like five minutes you're going to get up to go eat because they don't know human language or how time works

[misguided-matchmaker]

[misguided-matchmaker]

internet pro tip, you can go to ANY internet browser, type in "tiny kitty cat", then click on images. you gotta try it

[misguided-matchmaker]

[misguided-matchmaker]

so. um. the good news is we found your boyfriend. the bad news is that, well, we sort of…dug him up…in the middle of a car park. in leicester (buckley et al. 2013). leicester, yeah. sorry. they demolished the friary he was hastily interred in when henry viii dissolved all the monasteries. you know how it is. and as it turns out, well, shakespeare was…sort of right about him. scoliosis, yeah, sorry (appleby et al. 2014). if it makes you feel any better we analysed his bones and it turns out he had a pretty high-protein diet before he died (lamb et al. 2014). and he drank so much wine that it changed their chemical composition, which we didn't know could actually happen before we analysed him (lamb et al. 2014), so he was having a good time, at least. 

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Appleby, J., Mitchell, P.D., Robinson, C., Brough, A., Rutty, G., and Morgan, B. (2014). The scoliosis of Richard III, last Plantagenet King of England: diagnosis and clinical significance. Lancet 383, 1944. 

Buckley, R., Morris, M., Appleby, J., King, T., O’Sullivan, D., and Foxhall, L. (2013). ‘The king in the car park’: new light on the death and burial of Richard III in the Grey Friars church, Leicester, in 1485. Antiquity 87, pp. 519-538. 

Lamb, A.L., Evans, J.E., Buckley, R., and Appleby, J. (2014). Multi-isotope analysis demonstrates significant lifestyle changes in King Richard III. Journal of Archaeological Science 50, pp. 559-565.

[misguided-matchmaker]

Izzy: *fully in tears, screaming in laughter*

Brennan: *voice full of laughter and quiet desperation* We- we- we can't have our child in the dome. We can't have our child in the dome.

[misguided-matchmaker]

A Cut Above

[misguided-matchmaker]

this is making me lose it

[misguided-matchmaker]

getting older and looking at ur own ocs like okay i know i said you were like 16-19 when i made you at 13 but no fucking way. youre 25 now

[misguided-matchmaker]

trans girls will be like “yeah i mean my voice isnt that good” and then make noises that activate the prey drive humans haven’t had for thousands of years

[misguided-matchmaker]

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.