misncmers

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Dev Patel in Modern Love episode 2 “When Cupid Is a Prying Journalist” (2019) dir. John Carney

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“ There is a snake in this room whose venom is so deadly that your heart would stop before you even knew he’d bitten you. There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize. But all of these snakes are in cages with much sturdier locks, and all of them can be handled safely when one has studied them enough. I promise that if you take time to learn the facts, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU HERE IN THE REPTILE ROOM. ”

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(    *   & .   —   THE  HAUNTING  OF  HILL  HOUSE  SENTENCE  STARTERS

*   warning   :   may  contain  spoilers  for  episodes  one  through  ten .

‘  if  you  were  me ,  you  wouldn’t  be  such  a  fucking  asshole .  ’

‘  the  world  out  there  has  teeth  and  it  is  hungry  and  it  is  stupid  and  it eats  and  eats  mindlessly .  ’

‘  you  listen  to  your  gut .  even  if  it  makes  them  hate  you .  ’

‘  i  am  a  dream  and  so  are  you  and  so  are  we .  ’

‘  you  are  a  looker ,  aren’t  you ?  ’

‘  honey ,  someone’s  in  the  house .  ’

‘  i’m  dreaming ,  right ?  ’

‘  i  just  need  a  little  time  away .  it’s  nothing  more  than  that .  ’

‘  you’re  saying  it  was  an  accident ,  so  you  accidentally  put  your  hand  through  a  mirror ?  ’

‘  i’m  scared .  that’s  all  i  am .  there  is  nothing  else .  i’m  only  scared .  ’

‘  do  you  think  there’s  something  wrong  with  me ?  like ,  really  wrong ?  ’

‘  it’s  alright ,  sugar .  it’s  just  a  dream  —  just  a  screaming  meemie .  ’

‘  we  yield  to  it  or  we  fight  it ,  but  we  cannot  meet  it  halfway .  ’

‘  i  seldom  am  well  behaved .  ’

‘  i  enjoyed  the  conversation ,  but  i’m  gonna  say  goodnight .  ’

‘  did  you  just  punch  me  in  the  boob ?  ’

‘  just  enjoy  me .  i’m  loving  you .  ’

‘  i  wouldn’t  have  changed  a  thing .  i  need  you  to  know  that .  ’

‘  forgiveness  is  warm  like  a  tear  on  a  cheek .  ’

‘  i  loved  you  completely  and  you  loved  me  the  same .  ’

‘  that’s  all .  the  rest  is  confetti .  ’

‘  forgive  a  girl  for  being  lonely .  ’

‘  there’s  nothing  sadder  than  a  cold  bed .  ’

‘  journey’s  end  when  lovers  meet .  ’

‘  journeys  don’t  end ,  not  if  you  love  someone .  they  don’t  end  at  all .  ’

‘  probably  best  you  didn’t  say  anything  to  them .  ’

‘  i’m  asking  you  to  love  me  hard  for  the  next  few  minutes .  ’

‘  i’m  gonna  jump  and  i’m  asking  you  to  hold  my  hand  while  i’m  falling .  ’

‘  i  have  something  that  i  have  to  tell  you ,  but  i  need  you  to  remember  when  i  do  that  i  love  you .  ’

‘  i  wish  i  would’ve  loved  you  better .  ’

‘  pandas  don’t  like  macaroni .  ’

‘  i’m  just  floating  in  this  ocean  of  nothing  and  i  wonder  if  this  is  it ,  this  is  what  death  is .  ’

‘  i  wonder  if  this  is  what  death  is ,  just  out  there  in  the  darkness ,  just  darkness  and  numbness  and  alone .  ’

‘  i  wondered  if  that’s  what  they  felt ,  just  numb  and  nothing  and  alone .  ’

‘  he  was  a  light  in  the  darkness .  he  was  a  life  preserver  in  the  ocean .  ’  

‘  i  reached  for  him  because  i  had  to  feel  something .  i  had  to  feel  anything .  ’

‘  god ,  i’m  so  glad  i  did  it  though .  thank  god  it  worked .  ’

‘  i  felt  scared .  so  fucking  scared .  ’

‘  honestly  i  had  to  do  it  because  it  felt  better  than  feeling  nothing .  ’

‘  that  thorough  fucking  shame  was  so  much  better  than  that  horrible  empty  feeling .  ’

‘  you  have  to  live .  ’

‘  i  don’t —  i  don’t  know  how  to  do  this  without  you .  ’

‘  i  learned  a  secret  :  there  is  no  without .  i  am  not  gone .  i  am  scattered  into  so  many  pieces ,  sprinkled  on  your  life  like  new  snow .  ’

‘  when  we  die ,  we  turn  into  stories  and  every  time  someone  tells  one  of  those  stories  it’s  like  we’re  still  here .  ’

‘  we’re  all  stories  in  the  end .  ’

‘  you’re  supposed  to  protect  me ,  but  you  say  the  meanest  things  to  me  when  i  try  to  tell  you  things .  ’

‘  that  was  really  wild  stuff .  ’

‘  that  was  really  wild  stuff  considering  you  were  asleep  for ,  what ,  like…  ninety-nine  percent  of  it ?  ’

‘  i’m  sorry .  i  should  have  made  more  of  an  effort  with  you .  ’

‘  you  tried  the  best  that  you  could .  i  should’ve  met  you  halfway .  ’

‘  people  fuck  up .  i  guess  you  don’t  get  that  —  you  really  don’t  get  it  until  you  fuck  up .  really  fuck  up .  ’

‘  i  felt…  nothing .  just  nothing .  and  it  spread  everywhere  in  me ,  this  nothing ,  until  i  couldn’t  feel  anything  anymore .  i  was  just  this  dark ,  empty  black  hole .   ’

‘  i  felt  nothing  and  so  i  drank  and  i  drank  and  nothing  worked .  i  couldn’t  feel  anything .  ’

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“ There is a snake in this room whose venom is so deadly that your heart would stop before you even knew he’d bitten you. There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize. But all of these snakes are in cages with much sturdier locks, and all of them can be handled safely when one has studied them enough. I promise that if you take time to learn the facts, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU HERE IN THE REPTILE ROOM. ”

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RP MASTERLIST. a series of unfortunate events (netflix, books, movies) + all the wrong questions / lemony snicket

REBLOG this post if you rp a canon or oc character from the aforementioned fandom or have a verse for it and specify in the tags so you can be added.

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Montgomery Montgomery - The Reptile Room

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THE MEME FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE HAPPINESS.

Who doesn’t love soul-crushing angst? Send me a 💔 and I’ll generate a number, 1-75, and post a starter based on what scenario I get. 

Please note that some of these scenarios may be triggering.

Keep reading

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okay but how Extra™ is Uncle Monty, a man who has a door with gears and chains and mechanics and lights made so it looks like it’s super high security just to distract from the doorknob

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“ There is a snake in this room whose venom is so deadly that your heart would stop before you even knew he’d bitten you. There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize. But all of these snakes are in cages with much sturdier locks, and all of them can be handled safely when one has studied them enough. I promise that if you take time to learn the facts, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU HERE IN THE REPTILE ROOM. ”

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A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS » THE REPTILE ROOM

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A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS: The Reptile Room

↳ “Sometimes, even in the most unfortunate of lives, there will occur a moment or two of good fortune.”

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ASOUE Week – Day Three: Favorite Guardian

Dr. Montgomery Montgomery “Life is a conundrum of esoterica.”

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Stephano has explained to me that he has a very strict fitness regimen, where he has to run up and down the stairs brandishing a knife at least three times a day. So, that makes perfect sense.

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❝ what a STRANGE turn of phrase. ❞ in this instance, as with most instances where monty uses the word --- strange, here, does not mean bad. rather, it means of incredible interest.  ❝ where does it come from? ❞          [ @reportd liked for a starter ] 

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Things end. People leave. And you know what? Life goes on. Besides, if bad things didn’t happen, how would you be able to feel the good ones?

Elizabeth Scott, Perfect You (via books-n-quotes)

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This seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn’t want you doing. Good thing I’m an uncle!

Doctor Montgomery Montgomery (via incorrectasouequotes)

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❝  what a great load of books ! please, let me help you with those. ❞   a hand is extended in offering, before he is all too quickly distracted by one particular title at the bottom of the pile, ❝ goodness ! is this a FIRST EDITION? ❞      [ @skillfulstunninglibrarian ]