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😀 lmaooo i love being so regular and normal
#sol speaks#unwellmaxxing#so many mixed emotions this week ALONE#everythings mixed up and jumbled and its like#i might as well have a good time but RAAAGH#i miss grace a lot#otw back home today i stopped in her town#not in a crazy way#i was just craving ice cream thats only there#and i walked around and saw the places we used to go#and i just#idk i felt incredibly lonely#i thought i saw her car pass by and i almost had a heart attack#i wonder what she'd be doing now#if she's still thinking of me#i wish i could be doing hw and she'd lay her head on my lap#or sleep next to me and i could play with her hair#i miss her so bad#she used to be my motivation for everything#idk life just tbh isnt all that without her#i wonder if i'll ever be like. excited about my life again#idk feels impossible rn but thats also me going thru a breakup ofc imma feel this way#i miss her smell#i miss hearing her breathe next to me#i miss how perfect and warm she was in the mornings right before she woke up#i miss holding her hand and her being the only person that could Really hold me#her arms were my favorite place in the whole world#idk this is getting really gross and vulnerable but i just.#part of me is posting this so maybe she'll see this and know how much i still love her
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Semi spoiler version under the cut
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They call me Wracked With Guilt Sol
#sol speaks#unwellmaxxing#aaaauuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhh i feel terrible in my body#im a bad person who does bad things and will continue to#AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUOOOUUGH#idk. just been CRAZY anxious today and i am like. really really disregulated
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daily affirmations:
i am kind
i am in control of my emotions
it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone
everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen
i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone
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Istg men should find a hobby. Never leaving the house for example!
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hanging out with a femme lesbian today is making my heart hurt quite a bit. i miss my femme, i love my femme friends so so dearly and i wish i had more butchfemme comrads! but also. i miss a very special and specific femme and i wish we could go back to our bubble.
#sol speaks#unwellmaxxing#ik im blocked but i wish she knew that im thinking of her#me and femme friend talked about TLT and it just. made me heart hurt a lot
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lilies – devotion, rebirth
('the lily means "I dare you to love me"')
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everything comes back to feeling her absence, huh.
#sol speaks#unwellmaxxing#it's never not about that#all i have is memory isnt that crazy?#i can pretend to imagine how she'd react to things or what we could be doing but thats not real#its not her#i just have what i can remember and whatever else is tangible#like obviously yknow#but every day its harder for those things to feel like I'm still close to her#but ig thats the point of breaking up? are we not close anymore? she's still my best friend
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i want to text her but i also want to preserve that our last texts were our goodbyes ugh
#sol speaks#unwellmaxxing#idk it's just#like my friend said#I'm not allowed to whatever this away#i need to feel it
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they should invent a grief that doesn’t define you in new and strange ways for the rest of your life
#😀#my whole life is gonna be a sequence of before and afters huh#my love for my people will always define me and how i move in the world#makes sense that the grief would to. how could i not be
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was doing fundraiser thing for world pride, only to find out later that she was also there and very possibly could've walked past or checked it out when i wasn't there. i want to see her, i do. i just also think I would've crashed a lot harder today if i had y'know?
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WE MADE IT!!! Thank you all so much for supporting me on this crazy journey to DAY 999 OF ALECTOPAUSE!!!
This was such a long, tough, journey to finish this comic. I started outlining in March of 2024. There was lots of starting and stopping as life got crazier and crazier. I currently work 5 jobs (I know, i'm not kidding.) The ONLY reason this was ever finished was because of all the amazing support I got along the way and the amazing energy that the TLT fandom has kept up. Especially @alectopause kicked my ass in gear and gave me a deadline to finish.
So, thank you all so much. I never would have considered myself a comic artist but this project has given me so much confidence.
I love you all.
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we're going to have an OLDER BROTHER summer. we will be drinking MONSTER. we will be LIFTING WEIGHTS. we will be ignoring our MOM. we will be surviving off of CHIPS and NOODLES. we will NOT be SHOWERING. we will only be putting on AXE DEODORANT. we will be bothering PRETTY WOMEN and getting REJECTED. OLDER BROTHER SUMMER !!
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nothign wrong with me that an orgasm a glass of orange juice another orgasm tweleve hours of sleep another orgasm a fuckload of pasta another orgasm a hot bath anothe roorgasm a bullet to the head another orgasm taking up smoking anpther orgasm a large alcolgic beveerage and aother orgams wont fix
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growing old with a femme. watching her hair slowly fade into a mix of the most beautiful grays and silvers. going out dancing with her even though our muscles ache for days afterwards. bringing her to our old favorite bars and restaurants just so i can see the light in her eyes shine brighter. getting choked up realizing how far we've made it. loving her more and more with each passing day.
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google play anything by adrianna lenker. loud enough to kill STAT
#sol speaks#unwellmaxxing#i wanna kiss kiss your eyes again#wanna witness your eyes lookin#/ listen to your heart beatin#listen to the way you move#i dont know how im supposed to ever be okay again#werent we the stars in heaven?#UGH i hate this#its my fault and im weak and i let it get to this point#it didnt have to be like this#but now its all fucked. and my best friend is gone and i just feel like the biggest failure#if i fucked this up how could i ever do anything good again#it's toolate. at least for the people we are rn it's too late.#i really hope we're different in the future#maybe then we can make it good#i don't think I've genuinely felt real since everything happened#ugh i need to lock in on my hw
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“oh so only your hyper specific interpretation of this character matters? no one else gets to have theirs?” yes precisely. now go my flock peck them clean for their insolence 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
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