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Be good for daddy or else

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nature doc narrator just described a snake's failed hunt as 'leaving empty handed' and that just makes me laugh like dawg of all the metaphors. why that one.

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"learn to be bored" "being bored is good for you" "be at peace with yourself" NO! 4 SCREENS AT ONCE!!!!!!

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A real 3-hit combo of tumblr posts rn

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I came up with this three-way table to help me (and now you, if you want) to rate things out of 5 stars. I was thinking of books and films when I made it, but you can probably use it for other stuff.

The idea is that you rate the thing on how much stuff you loved and how much stuff you hated, and those things weight against each other. There's only one way to get 5 stars or 1 star, so those should end up as the rarest ratings, wtih 3 stars being the most common.

'Spicy' means that the thing inspires emotion, whether positive or negative, while 'bland' means it doesn't affect you much either way.

An example of a 3-star (spicy) - for me personally - would be the Twilight series, because there's plenty of garbage in there but also some things that are like crack to me. I can't think of an example of a 3 star (bland) because by nature they don't stick in the mind.

(This also assumes giving 0 stars isn't allowed. That'd throw it out of whack...)

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y-your honor, i would like to request that opposing counsel be barred from sounding a dog training clicker every time i mess up

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does anyone else think that its crazy (remembers i’m in discourse time-out this week) how the wind blowing thru the grass is so common yet so beautiful. one of many marvelous experiences in this wonderful life

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No one tells you that one day you will get older and look around and notice that 95% of ppl who own a dog should not own a dog

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Tumblr used to be so funny. There was a shoplifting community there was rabies pride

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it would be crazy to be the first guy to be blown up by a hand grenade. what the hell just bounced in here. some kind of component

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me, eating a pile of nuts, cheese, and apple: mmmm tasty

the medieval peasant in my head watching me eat: thou knowst what would MAKETH this meal? dried fruits.

me, getting out the raisins: god damn, etheldred, you are SO right

the medieval peasant in my head: yet thou art still not heeding mine words regarding the blasphemy

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The history of the Disney company is so fucking fascinating and complicated that I could spend the rest of my life studying it.

I hate the company. I love the media. I want it to burn. I was profoundly shaped as a person by some of the art its workers have produced. It’s evil. It’s beautiful. It’s an eldritch horrorterror personified as a charismatic mouse. It’s a nightmarish example of capitalist hell. It destroys as much as it creates. It’s a flaming trainwreck. I can’t look away.

It’s the goddamn Elephant’s Foot of media studies.

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bringing it up again for the millionth time but I'm still obsessed with the way that hannibal lecter is canonically aware of the narrative not because its ever explicitly stated but because the author who created him genuinely believes this to be true and stopped writing the book series because he's afraid of him