mj1343

[mj1343]

My one friend really likes "yo mama" jokes, but she feels bad for saying them to me because my mama's dead, and lately she's been circumventing this by adding "in heaven" to them, a concept I was introduced to with zero warning via a text that said, "Yo mama's so stupid she's in heaven pre-heating the microwave."

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I sent Gaben my Half-Life Alyx fan art and he actually answered! I couldn't be happier 😊

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today was single handedly the best day of my life. i caught a cop stealing from the store i work at

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I’ve trained my dogs to expect their dental treats when I offer them “the body of Christ”. Is this heresy or blasphemy?

A rare occasion where it's both! Animals can't receive communion/experience the sacraments because they have no souls. Additionally, I am going to safely assume you aren't a priest, so you aren't allowed to perform transubstantiation. Additionally, the Eucharist cannot be made of dental treats. Finally this whole thing is making a huge mockery of one of the single most sacred acts in Catholicism. Well done!

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[mj1343]

thinking about when my brother got chatbanned from overwatch and the email they sent him after he tried to appeal it said “we dont normally bring up the incriminating messages, but in this case we feel its necessary to show you what got you banned” and it was all shit like “ i will kidnap you in the desert and make you forget how to eat”

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He means a little squeeze bottle with brine shrimp inside but… bottle feeding the loblings…

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Why did we ever stop wearing 18th century clothing

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reverse suicide note where everyone you write on it dies

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reading nabokov is maddening because his writing is so playful and evocative and effortless and english isn't even his first language. he's doing things in a second language most people could spend their lives trying and failing to replicate in their first language. makes me feel like this

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[mj1343]

Help I'm at a con surrounded by screaming nerds this was not part of the great trancendance.

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[mj1343]

Went to loserville. You’ll never guess who I found

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shouldn't have used that dubious disc...

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letter from a mother of a gay man. sent to ONE magazine, 1958.

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This post was flagged as adult content and the original poster was deactivated so I'm bringing it back.