mlpoccritiques - Tumblr blog

[mlpoccritiques]

Sorry if I sound impatient, but how many more OC's do you have left to critique?

Mod b; A lot.

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so, when are you guys posting next?

Mod b; When we have the time to do a critique or two.

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Are you guys still alive?

Mod b; yes, but we're all extremely busy at the moment. At least one or two of the mods should have more free time in a few weeks, but we ask that you be patient with us, since we do this blog for fun and therefore only work on critiques when it's practical to do so.

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I took a screenshot of the page getting 5000 views, I want a prize.

Mod b; You win the mods eternal affection, and a small, invisible (but valuable!) badge.

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((Hello, I'd like to ask a question. You tell people to keep the submissions short so that you'd be able to read through them more fast... I don't mean to be rude or anything, but if you tell people to work on something (bio for example), after you read the short submission and the details are actually WORKED OUT? I mean they didn't write it because you asked to keep it short. [I did write a long submission myself, but that was before you asked to keep them short.]))

Mod A: the "keep submissions short" thing is more about summarizing, not leaving out important details, for example :

Good backstory : X was raised on a farm with three sisters and three brothers. She was often ignored or treated without individuality and soon begin to strive to make herself stand out, leading her to start learning how to become an awesome rocket designer. Along the way she meet A and B, now her two closest friends who taught her that she was special no matter what. X had some troubles along the way, including an incident with a dragon that left her with two large scars on her face, but she has finally accomplished her goal and become the best rocket designer in Equestria. She now lives in Canterlot with her coltfriend, Y.

WAY TOO MUCH INFO backstory: X was raised on a farm on an island in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. Her sisters were called I, Can't and Be while her brothers were called Bothered, Thinking and Of Names. Her sisters were all fashion designer ponies except for I who was secretly a ninja assassin and her brothers all worked as farmers except for Thinking who was married to Applejack and didn't actually live at home anymore. When X was a foal she was 2 feet tall and when she was a filly she was 4 feet tall and now as a mare she is 6 feet tall and in her childhood she had [complicated and dramatic event involving childhood friend that she eventually reunites with after spending two pages explaining the long and arduous journey to her goal to being a rocket designer while mentioning and describing every single character she passed by]

If you have to leave out important/complicated details because they're very long, SUMMARIZE IT AND TELL US and we will not count it in our critiques.

Hopefully that clears some things up! :)

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when you said you do not critique ponies that you have before, what if it gets a design change? And i don't mean to bug ^^*

Mod b; we understand that, but for the time being we'd rather accept 'new' ponies :) perhaps we will have a specific submission time where we only accept ponies we have critique'd before! I'll talk about it with the mods.

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Mod b; closed submissions, because now we have 46 or so ponies to critique! :S oops! Also, since there seems to be some confusion - summarizing information is for the MODS, not our lovely followers. Linking to a novella of information is just as likely to get you put to the back of the queue as just putting it in the text box.

(also, at this current time, we do NOT accept ponies we have already critique'd. We may change this policy at a later time.)

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Whats the difference between a "canon" or "non-canon" OC? Wouldn't all OCs be "non-canon" since they aren't actually part of the show?

Mod A: "canon" refers to characters that fit in with the laws of canon eg colors that only appear in canon, alicorns being very rare/god-like characters, no hybrids etc etc

"non canon" refers to characters that do not fit in with the mlp:fim universe, eg ponies with four wings, gradient bodies, extreme markings, stories that do not correspond with the mlp universe (eg sniper) etc

...at least in the context of this blog ;)

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Would you critique the design of a ponified non-fandom OC?

Mod b; As long as it's tagged 'non-canon'!

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Any name ideas for a unicorn mare specializing in law and order, her cutiemark being that of a document and a gavel?

Mod b; Justice Bell? Paige Honor?  I don't have much for this one, sorry! :S

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Mod b; we gently remind submitters that it is greatly preferred if you summarize your ponies information. We simply do not have the time to go through so much information - unfortunately, this means that ponies with less information (or design only) tend to be critique'd first, because we can do them without dedicating so much time to reading ):

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What are your favorite ponies to critique? :D

Mod A : DESIGNS. Give me designs to critique. ⊙︿⊙

I also like critiquing ponies that stick to canon but do not interact with canon characters.

Also, alicorns. I like reading people’s justifications for alicorn-ness, for me it’s very interesting.

Mod b; designs, but the other mods (cough mod a cough) always dibs them first. I like non-canon ponies without pages and pages of text.

For me, the weirder and more unique the better!

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I hope this is enough ^^'

I don't really have a proper reference, but this should do for now.

I'd like you to just critique her design, if that's okay with you c:

The first thing that struck me was her cutiemark- What exactly is it? Also, the ":3" looks a bit out of place - I'd suggest removing it all together (emoticon faces rarely look good within cutiemark designs)

I'd suggest making her main coat a bit lighter, and perhaps a tad more saturated. I would also suggest changing her hairtie colour to either a light yellow or some shade of black/grey/white.

Not a bad design by any means, but one that could use a bit of improvement :)

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Name: Pitch Patch

Made by me mod of Askpitchpatch

Information: PitchPatch is a not so bright, but sweet pony. She is very nervous around others but is very trusting and naive, if others show her kindness. Like i said, she is not too bright, which often gets her in trouble. 

apperence like she is not very special. By ponystarndards she is on the more ugly side, but you would not notice her in the crowd

She stutters a lot, even when she is relaxed, which makes her pretty awkward.

She suffers from different kind of psycical disorders, since she has been locked away in a cellar by her 'caretaker' (kidnapper) for several years. The stongest of these might be 'stockholm syndrome' since he feels an unusual friendly (but not sexual) attraction to her 'dear' caretaker she has named 'Butcher'. She is often seen with blue and sore marks, and huge black bags under her eyes because of abuse and mistreatment (non sexual)

I want everything judged <3 Don't hold back ^___^

Originality : 4/5 Design : 3.5/5 Development : 2/5 “Special Snowflake” Syndrome : 0/5 Overall Grade : 3/5

This pony has an excellent design! It is very appealing and I particularly like her mane/tail style and the patches on her thighs!

I find the stockholm syndrome quality a little disconcerting, but that's just me. Her backstory could use with some development; How was she captured? Does she see anyone else except her "caretaker"? Was she initially resistant/negative towards her captor?

I think the stuttering trait is very cute and endearing.

This pony has a very interesting concept and a great design, just needs a bit more fleshing out (bio wise)

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((I'm more interested in the bio rating than anything. I know art is not my strong suit, and do not spend much time at all doing it. I do have pictures other than Pony Maker though! Thank you!))

Name: Spoonful Heartflight

Nickname: Spoon

Age: 19 years old

Creator: Andrea (Known as Mod Andrea on the page)

(Spoonful's page link, Non Pony Creator's Page link)

Bio: (It's long, just warning you)

Spoonful Heartflight is a mare who was born into a matriarchal family of cupid like pegasi that worked like local Princess Cadance's where they resided. She was born with an illness, however. She was born with a scar on the underside of her left wing. This scar is now hardly noticeable, and isn't visible unless her wings are out. As a child, she was not given the full Heart Flight name because of her illness and the belief that she would never be able to fly. She was still loved by her family and close friends though. She gained her cutie mark at the class Field Day in school. She competed against her classmates in the flight race, nervous that she would be last because her scar prevented her from flying as fast. She went ahead anyway, and gave it all of her might. She closed her eyes and flew as hard as she could, and came to find out that she had won the race. She looks back to see what's wrong, and sees her class all on the ground in laughter. She then notices her wings gave off this purple and blue dust that instantly made her giggle for no reason. She then got her cutie mark of a spoon with a butterfly resting on the end. Ever since then, every time Spoonful flies, she creates a 'happiness dust' that affects everyone near her. She still cannot fly as fast, but this combined with her 'never give up' attitude, gives her the ability to live a happy life, regardless of her normally hidden problems. She now resides in Ponyville, and commonly hangs out with other ponies without question of her health. Spoonful is very forgiving and understanding of other ponies that cannot do as well as others, and typically tries to help out whenever she can (you can sometimes see her trying to help Nurse Redheart, but sometimes she needs to get help from her,). She still wishes she could be a part of the Heart Flight's heritage, but does not try to achieve this goal, because she does limit and doubt herself on some things.

Spoonful is still young, but learns as she grows about life and how to deal with things when unable because of limitations. She has several friends who have made an impression on her, the most important being Bright Feather. He is a pegasus in Ponyville who likes alchemy. He ended up making a potion for Spoonful to stop the progression of the disease from killing her. After a long winded storyline, the potion proved positive and stopped progression. Spoonful still has the scar, the dust, and the stiff joints, but will not die from the disease she was born with. This doesn't mean she can't die at all, just not from her illness.

Spoonful's cutie mark is a spoon with a purple butterfly resting on it, which symbolizes both The Spoon Theory and Lupus Awareness (the purple butterfly).Spoonful's color scheme is also related to Lupus Awareness, which is often symbolized with the color purple. Her dust, which is purple and blue, signifies Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis awareness for illnesses the creator has.

Both Spoonful and Mod Andrea have SLE, or Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. Spoonful does not know the name of her illness, but is relatable to this illness in humans.

Originality : 3.5/5 Design : 2/5 Development : 4/5 “Special Snowflake” Syndrome : 0/5 Overall Grade : 3.5/5

This is actually a very well-thought out pony! I don't really have much to say about her, unfortunately - for an awareness pony, you've done a good job of not making her overly-tragic, or over powered to compensate for her illness (so it goes beyond 'wish fufillment' territory.) I do like that she seems to inspire other ponies and bring joy to them without the typical 'i-saved-the-day-now-praise-me" mentality!

well done :)

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Name: Davvid Daggers.

Made by: http://thelunararmy.tumblr.com/

Special Talent: Brilliant Strategist

Background: He is the second son of his ambassador Father and flower pot maker Mother. He spent much of his early life alone in the care of his friend's families in Canterlot, and saw very little of his parents as both parents were always out of town on business and his brother was forced to serve in the military because of an attitude problem.

Davvid always had a knack for thinking games, he wasn't the brightest of ponies but practiced many hours at night. Through his teenaged years Davvid got to travel with his father on tracks to the Gryphon Peaks, where he had the opportunity to meet many other equestrian beings and enriched his cultural understanding of life. Coupled with his obssession with understanding, Davvid decided to join the Equestrian Royal Guard, thinking it would be a good way to further enhance his learning capabilities.

The strict military protocol soon governed his life - he came to respect and enforce a rigid life style. The army life wasn't easy but it hardened his body and sharpened his mind. Davvid was well known among his peers as a great strategist - a trait he furbished himself with the years of late-night studying and being mentored by a host of creatures across the globe.

As he slowly rose through the ranks, Davvid finally got to meet his almost forgotten brother: Damien. Damien, a night watch guard pony for Luna's part of the Canterlot castle, was surprised to see his brother still donning the gold armour symbolizing the sun - despite knowing his little-brother love of the night. The two connected again and shared a lot of time in the military. Unfortunately the peace would soon be abrupt by a sudden rebellion in the at Gyphon Peaks. Part of the Peace keeping force, Davvid was sent to investigate. The cause of the rebellion was because of bandit ponies stealing Gryphon eggs to sell on the black market, causing the bloodfury parents to go on a rampage. The Equestria Guard General at the time deemed the angry birds (pardon the pun) unsafe for captivity and ordered his troops to execute the gryphons.

Outraged by his orders, Davvid abandoned his post and returned to Canterlot, uninterested in mindless bloodshed. But as he entered the city limits, he was arrested and jailed for high-treason. Stripped of his honors, he was sentenced to life imprisonment, doomed to stay behind bars in the dungeons for the rest of his life.

At midnight the following day Davvid was freed by his brother. As the two tried to escape the castle the two bumped into the night Princess herself. Fearing for their lives, the two were surprised to find the gracious alicorn to turn a blind eye and show them the way out. Davvid tried to thank the princess - but she instead nodded to Damien, as if she was signalling something.

Outside the city Damien stopped and gave Davvid his lucky pendant he was wearing. Telling him to run as far as he can. After much hesitation Davvid listened and decided to flee to his adoptive home in the Gryphon country. After some time it was announced that Damien was found guilty of helping Davvid escape and was sentenced to stone imprisonment.

A now furious Daggers seeks revenge on not only the entire Equestrian Military, but their prestigious leader: Princess Celestia. Under the guidance of his Gryphon mentors, other pony outcasts and with the marvel of technological ruins found in the Everfree forests - Davvid hopes to rise and lead his own band of mercenary troops: The Lunar Army. Secondary Reference pictures (less armour): LINK

Originality : 3.5/5 Design : 2/5 Development : 3/5 “Special Snowflake” Syndrome : 2/5 Overall Grade : 3/5

The first thing that stuck out to me was "Special Talent : Brilliant Strategist", followed by "he wasn’t the brightest of ponies". That seems a bit contradictory to me.

His design, while complicated, seems to be fairly well thought out. However, I feel as thought the blue doesn't sit quite well with the rest of the design. I'd suggest a much more desaturated colour.

His backstory is definitely interesting and explains a lot about the character. I do find issue with very non-canon storylines involving canon characters, however this feels very "AU"ish so I don't think it matters much. There are some slightly confusing parts that need explaining - Wouldn't the gryphons object to a non-gryphon living with them?

An interesting OC overall, but I'd be wary of involving canon characters in something that deviates so much from canon (setting wise, not plot - in OC stories it's generally accepted that the show's plot has very little to do with anything)

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Mod A : Submissions are open! Get in while you can. :)

We do not accept joke OCs. Any joke OCs will be immediately deleted from the inbox.

Mod b; please remember to try and summarize when you can! Less to read = more time to critique!