mmmerimari

[mmmerimari]

s2!rafe drives his car as fast as possible when he’s coked up. He’ll lock the doors and stare at you as he’s going 100mph down the back streets. He gets some twisted pleasure out of seeing your reaction when he takes your life into his hands, risking it all.

[mmmerimari]

coping!reader - test drive

He didn’t call it a date. Didn’t come to her door either. Just sent a lazy “here” text and leaned against his truck, arms crossed and head down like he was doing time. No flowers. No plan. Just the implication that she should be flattered he showed up at all.

She came anyway. Slid into the passenger seat with a too-large cardigan tugged around her arms, her bangs freshly trimmed and curled. Yellow ribbons on her sneakers. A little strawberry lip gloss.

“Hi,” she said. Not too cheerful. Performed casual.

Rafe glanced at her once. “You always dress like a crayon box or is this special for me?”

She smiled, slow and soft. “You're lucky I didn't wear the banana earrings.”

He didn’t laugh. Just shook his head, pulled out of the lot without saying where they were going. Some old rap station crackled low on the speakers, mostly static. She didn’t ask him to change it.

They ended up parked in front of the marina. Not by the yachts. Down where the dock was rotting and the tide smelled like algae and salt rot. Somewhere no one would bother them. Or see them.

There was a convenience store bag in the backseat. He threw it in her lap without ceremony.

“I got snacks.”

She peered inside. Gummy worms. A flat soda. A melted Hershey bar. “Wow,” she deadpanned, “someone’s aiming for a Michelin star.”

“Didn’t realize you were a bitch about candy.”

She pulled out the Dr. Pepper and cracked it open. “You look like someone who’s never had to buy their own groceries.”

He smirked, leaning back. “You think that’s an insult?”

That earned a snort. She sipped the drink, wrinkling her nose at how warm it was, but didn’t complain. He watched her from the side, pretending not to.

Her phone buzzed in her lap. She didn’t look at it. Just picked at the label on the soda can until it peeled into strips.

“You always this quiet?” he asked, finally.

“No.”

His mouth twitched. “That was a quick answer.”

She shrugged. “It's a simple question.”

It wasn’t though. Not really. Her gaze landed on the water in front of them.

“You know most girls would kill to be here right now.”

Y/n just hummed. Noncommittal.

“Christ, you’re weird. You remind me of Sarah,” he said eventually.

“I should hope not.”

“I mean,” He gestured vaguely. “You pretend you’re shy, but I’ve seen the way you talk to people. You like the attention.”

“Sure,” she said. “Everyone does.”

“No,” he said, cutting her off like she was stupid. “Girls like you, the yellow shoes, baby voice, ‘I’m-so-nice’ complex, you live for it. You want everyone to think you’re harmless so no one calls you out when you’re full of shit.”

She turned to look at him, calm and unimpressed. “What's so wrong with that?”

“It’s pathetic.”

“Mm.” She blinked once. Tilted her head. "Or maybe it’s just strategic.” She smiled. Not sweet. Not even fake. Just like she already knew he wouldn’t get it.

That made him pause. Not because it hurt. But because it didn’t. She wasn’t coming for him. She was just… playing.

He cracked his knuckles, watching the marina lights flicker. “So why'd you say yes? I- I know people say things... about me and-”

“I don't care,” she said. “You seem chill.”

That made him smirk and laugh softly. Chill. Sure.

He studied her now. Really studied her. Bangs a little uneven. Collarbone freckled. The kind of pretty that didn’t beg to be seen but still made people look twice.

She shifted in her seat, crossing her legs and tucking one hand under her thigh. “I do like fun,” she said lightly, “and you seem... entertaining.”

There was a little shimmer on her eyelids, glitter probably, that sparkled when the sunset got low enough.

“You don’t know me,” he said.

“I know enough.”

“No, you think you know.”

She shook her head softly. “I don't think it's that complicated.”

Rafe stared, her smile grew.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “You’re insufferable.”

She hummed and turned to the window, resting her chin on her palm, staring out at the half-lit dock like it was somewhere worth being.

He didn’t move. Just sat there next to her, quiet. The radio kept crackling and she started mouthing the lyrics to something old, offbeat. Her lips were pink and sticky and smiling in the corners like she knew he was watching. She liked being watched when she pretended she didn’t notice.

Eventually, he leaned back, adjusting the seat. “You wanna go do something, or just sit here and waste time all night?”

She smiled again, warm this time, and nodded.

"Can I drive?"

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[mmmerimari]

leading on!reader - like a siren

The air upstairs is almost silent except for the faint pulse of bass drifting up from the living room. Y/N leans against the banister in nothing but a midnight‑blue lace bralette and denim jeans, one heel slipping off as she arches an eyebrow and tilts her head back into the corridor’s whisper of cool air. Her hips sway slowly, deliberately. She can feel the breeze teasing at her skin, can’t help but smirk and tuck her hair behind her ear, glancing over her shoulder as if daring anyone to notice the mess she’s left below. She’s pretending she’s drunk, fingers loose between her thighs, shoulders rolling back so she looks taller, more unhinged than she really is.

Rafe finds her by accident, drawn up the stairs by the sight of a lone figure moving like a flame in the dark. He pauses a few steps back and watches her for a beat, then steps forward, hands gesturing, then dropping to his sides as if to calm himself. “You okay up here?” His voice is soft but threaded with something dangerous. He touches the bridge of his nose as he lies, he definitely doesn’t care if she’s okay, not really.

Y/N turns, one hip jutting out, and feigns a drunken sway. “Perfect,” she whispers, voice husky. She wiggles her fingers at him, beckoning. “You should try it sometime.”

He lifts a brow, half‑smile twisting on his lips. He steps closer, enough that she can feel the heat from his body. He points at his chest as if proving some unspoken argument. “What’re you doing?” His hands lower, palm‑out, as if he’s trying to stay in control.

She tilts her head, lashes fluttering down. Then she spins, her heel clicking on the hardwood, and faces him, backlit by a sliver of hallway light. She spreads her arms wide, peacock‑proud, daring him to see all of her. His eyes wander down lower, a smirk over coming his face before her moves his eyes back up in one swift motion.

He licks his lips out of reflex like he’s trying to taste the moment before it slips. “You always dance by yourself?” he asks, voice rougher now, something fraying under the surface.

Y/N shrugs, slow and sultry. “Sometimes people ruin the vibe,” she purrs, letting the syllables slink off her tongue. She steps backward, away from the banister, into the center of the narrow hallway where the light spills sharp and golden over her collarbones. Her fingers brush the top button of her shorts. She tilts her head again. “You gonna stand there or…?”

Rafe breathes out a laugh that’s half a scoff. “Or what?”

She smiles, but it’s a sickle moon, sharp, cold at the edges. “Or are you as curious as you're pretending to be?”

He purses his lips together and glances behind him before he closes the space between them with two lazy steps, eyes pinned to hers like they’re playing a game only he just realized he’s losing. “The fuck are you even doing up here?” he mutters, almost admiring.

“I needed air.” Her voice flattens, but her eyes burn. “Needed to move.”

He’s watching her like he doesn’t know whether he wants to kiss her or pin her to the wall just to stop her spinning. “And all this?” He gestures, vague, wide like he can’t pick a part to blame. “For you or for them?”

Y/N lets out a soft, breathy laugh and steps so close her chest almost brushes his. “Does it matter?”

For a second, the tension flares too hot to name. Then she steps away, spinning again, her back to him. Her hips start to sway, not like before, not coy, but indulgent. Private. Like she’s letting him peek into something she never shows.

Rafe chuckles softly. “You trying to set me up?”

She laughs again, louder this time, letting it echo down the hallway. “Where'd that come from?”

He stares, fists balled, and he’s not sure if he’s the one she’s baiting or just the first idiot to bite.

“Come on, Rafe.” She says his name like it’s an afterthought like she just remembered who he is and that pisses him off more than it should. “Don’t pretend you didn’t come looking.”

He steps forward again, grabs her wrist firmly enough to stop her spinning. Her breath hitches. His face is inches from hers. “I came up here to get away from people like you.”

Her lips curl. “Then why haven’t you left?”

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[mmmerimari]

depressed!reader - swimming lesson

The sun was already sinking when Rafe pulled Y/n onto the sand, his hand a vise around her wrist. "Come on, babe," he said, grinning over his shoulder like this was the best idea he ever had. "You gotta get outta that damn cave you been living in."

The beach was chaos, with music blaring, a bonfire roaring, and shrieking as people threw each other into the surf. Y/n stood stiff and pale beside Rafe, twisting the hem of her oversized t-shirt with damp fingers, already shivering even though the night was warm.

She didn’t belong here.

She never had.

Rafe didn’t notice, or he didn’t care. He stood behind her, chest to her back, arms draped lazily around her shoulders like he was keeping a leash hidden under all that fake affection. Every few minutes, he'd shove her head down onto his shoulder quick and smooth, a sharp little nudge like 'stay put'. His fingers brushed the edge of her jaw, checking like he thought she might slip away if he wasn’t holding tight enough.

"You’re doin’ good," he muttered in her ear, grinning when she didn’t react. "See? Nothin' to be scared of."

She bit her lip gently and nodded automatically.

Rafe didn’t let her drift. He kept her right there, pulled her between his legs while he sat on a log, his arms heavy and caging around her waist. "Relax," he muttered into her hair, almost scolding. "Ain’t nobody lookin' at you."

Rafe kept her glued to him like she was an accessory he didn't trust to stay in place. His hand stayed locked around her hip or the back of her neck, guiding her movements without asking.

He thought he was being good to her. Being what a man should be.

Taking control. Fixing it. Then the couples started racing into the ocean, squealing and picking each other up, slamming into the waves like it was the best thing in the world.

Rafe pulled her into his lap fully now, lifting her bodily like it was nothing. His knee pressed up between her legs, his chest solid behind her. She stiffened, embarrassed.

He kissed her temple, quickly and possessively. "You’re alright," he said like a command. "You’re gonna thank me for this later."

She opened her mouth to protest but he was already scooping her up, arms locking around her legs and back, making her gasp and throw her arms around his neck, clinging to him with all the strength she had.

He just laughed, carrying her into the surf like she weighed nothing.

"You gotta stop being so soft, Y/n," he shouted over the roar of the water. "A little water won't hurt, right?"

The first shock of cold hit her calves, and she panicked, readjusting her arms around his neck, nails digging into his skin.

Rafe grinned harder.

He thought it was cute.

He thought it was progress.

The water surged up to his thighs, dragging at them. Y/n whimpered against his throat, heart slamming itself bloody against her ribs.

Then, without warning, he shifted his grip.

"Time for you to trust me," he said, smug like he was doing her a favor.

Before she could scream, he dipped her down, lower, her back arching and head dropping dangerously close to the black, heaving water.

She gasped a raw, animal sound. Her hands scrambled, frantic, clawing at him.

"Rafe, no, you know I- I can’t swim- " she sobbed out, voice so choked it barely carried.

He just laughed, swinging her back up against his chest like it was a joke.

"There," he said. "You didn’t drown. Proud of you, baby."

She shook, trembling so hard she could barely hold on, face buried against the hollow of his throat, breath coming in broken little gasps. Her whole body pressed tight to him, desperate.

For a second, the ocean pulled at them, sucking the sand out from under his feet. Y/n felt it, felt the terror slick and alive under her skin.

Rafe set her down roughly, hands still on her waist to steady her. The sand under her feet and the cold sweeping all around them.

"You're fine," he said, voice flat now, serious. "You’re just in your head too much."

She stared down at the black water swallowing the beach and bit her lip until it split wide open.

He didn’t notice the way her fingers wouldn’t stop twitching.

He didn’t notice the saltwater tears that weren’t from the ocean.

He thought he’d won.

"You’re gettin' better already," Rafe said, smug, walking them back toward the shore with her still locked in his arms, like a trophy. "Just needed a little push. Didn't you?"

Y/n didn’t argue.

She didn’t scream.

She didn’t do anything but let herself jump back in Rafe's arms, lip split, arms aching from clinging so hard.

She just closed her eyes, feeling the ghost of the water still pulling at her, cold and endless and hungry.

And she held on.

Because there was nowhere else to go.

"You’re stronger than you think, Baby," he said with a smug look on his face when he examined hers.

The salt stung her nose. The spray made her cough. But she stayed there because where else was she gonna go?

if you're interested: readers

[mmmerimari]

avoidant attatchment!reader - I think I just want gum

The doorbell of the convenience store jingled but Y/n kept her eyes focused on the gum section. She'd been here for like ten minutes, sweating and anxious. If she's going to waste money on a pack of gum, it better be a fantastic pack of gum. She couldn't decide if she wanted something sweet or minty.

Sweet was easier. Minty made her feel like she was ready for anything. It woke her up. She liked feeling awake and aware.

She rocked back on her heels. The gum rack squeaked when she tapped her fingers across the top row.

Behind her, voices grew louder. Familiar ones.

“Bro, speak of the devil.”

“Don't be weird, Dude.”

“It is kind of funny.”

Y/n sighed through her nose. Topper and Kelce. Which meant you know who. Then it hit. That pause. The silence. The sudden shift in air pressure only came when Rafe was near Y/n.

She stayed crouched, eyeing a pack of cinnamon gum. Her skin was already starting to tingle. Like it remembered his hands before her brain did.

“Y/n.” His voice landed flat on the tile. Not soft. Not angry. Not yet anyway. She turned slightly, chin tilted, eyes tracing the baseboard instead of his face. “Hey,” she said lightly and with a smile as if she'd just barely noticed him and was happy to see him. As if she hadn’t bailed last minute and ghost him the week before.

Kelce gave her a once-over like she was a zoo animal. “Long time Y/n,” he grinned, elbowing Rafe. “You two still—?”

Rafe cut him off. “Shut the fuck up.”

Topper dragged Kelce into another isle.

Y/n went back to staring at the gum, with a smile on her face as a mask. She picked up a pack of spearmint gum and a watermelon one. One in each hand. She didn’t look rushed. She never did.

“Mint’s better,” Rafe said, low.

She raised an eyebrow, turning her head to look up at him. “You think?”

“I know.”

There was a beat.

The air in here sucked. It was too cold. Her fingertips were starting to freeze. She could feel Rafe's eyes. How she hates to be perceived. The translucent lights above only flickered.

“You look…” Rafe trailed off. He gestured vaguely with his hand like he didn’t want to finish the thought. His ring caught the light. She blinked slowly.

“Hm?” she murmured, gently. Like she hadn’t heard him. Like she didn’t notice the way his mouth twitched. The way his body leaned a little too still.

Rafe scratched his nose. “What? Acting all innocent now?”

Y/n smiled faintly, breath fogging up the gum shelf for half a second. “I think I just want gum.”

“You…” he started again. His hand did that twitchy gesture once more. “You’ve been hiding. You think I’m fucking stupid?”

She blinked slowly. She never said he was stupid. “No?”

“No, you didn’t say anything. You just disappear. Like you always fucking do.”

She pressed her lips together like she was thinking. “I haven’t been on my phone much.”

“You left me on read.”

She made a soft sound, like an oh. No apology. No defense. Just the sound.

“Fucking bullshit,” Rafe snapped. “Don’t play dumb with me, Y/n. I saw you avoiding me last week. I saw you scurry from that party before I could even get across the room.”

Her thumb rubbed over the edge of the pack of watermelon gum. “That was you?”

Rafe laughed once, sharp, bitter. “You're unbelievable”

“I didn’t see you. Sorry.” Her voice stayed even and polite. Almost airy as she stood up finally. Her hoodie slouched around her frame. She was going to buy the spearmint gum.

He stepped in closer, right up behind her shoulder. The air between them thinned. “You think you’re so above everything, don’t you?” he muttered. “Floating around in that little bubble of yours. Playing all soft and silent until you get bored and vanish.”

She didn’t flinch. Her fingers tapped against the spearmint pack. “You want gum?”

His jaw flexed, his eyes fluttering as he rolled them in agitation. “No, Y/n. I don’t want gum. I want you to stop pretending like none of this fucking matters.”

There it was. That edge. The need. The fury just behind it.

Y/n stayed quiet. Not frozen, just still. Like a mouse waiting for the hawk to fly past.

Rafe’s hand twitched at his side. “Say something.”

She turned slightly, finally meeting his gaze. Her voice was calm with an edge of humor from her smile. “You scare me sometimes.”

He stared at her like she’d spoken another language. Rafe looked at her like he wanted to say something, something cruel or sentimental, she couldn’t tell which. Instead, he sniffed and shifted his weight.

“It’s good to see you,” she added to cut the conversation short. Then she walked to the counter without waiting for a reply.

She paid in cash. Didn’t ask for a bag. Pushed the gum into her hoodie pocket and walked out the door like nothing had happened. The cold air outside hit her skin and made her blink. Her heart was climbing up her throat. But she kept walking down the sidewalk like she hadn’t just locked eyes with the one person who made her skin feel like it was too tight.

She didn’t even chew the gum.

She just wanted something to hold.

Rafe stood still facing the gum rack, jaw clenched, eyes half-lidded like he was trying to burn a hole through the metal shelf.

Topper wandered back over with a bottle of Gatorade in hand. “Dude… what was that?”

Kelce followed, chewing on a Twizzler. “She curved the fuck outta you.”

Rafe didn’t respond.

“Seriously though,” Topper said, glancing toward the door, “you guys were like together, right? Like for real?”

“She’s weird,” Kelce added. “Always has that look on her face. Like she’s somewhere else.”

“She's not weird,” Rafe muttered.

Topper raised an eyebrow. “Okay, well she ghosted you.”

“She didn’t ghost me,” Rafe snapped, finally turning toward them. His eyes were glassy, sharp. “She’s just… doing her little act again. Like nothing touches her.”

Kelce shook his head with a half-laugh. “She didn’t even flinch when you got up on her. That was kinda terrifying, honestly.”

Rafe pointed at him. “You don’t know shit, Kelce.”

Topper leaned against the fridge door. “Then enlighten us, man. Cause from where we’re standing, she dipped on you. Again. And you’re acting like she told you she loves you.”

Rafe looked down at his hands. He flexed his fingers once, then twice.

“She thinks she’s better than me,” he said deeply. “She thinks if she keeps everything quiet, soft, floaty then she can just disappear and I won’t notice.”

Kelce laughed through his nose. “Bro. You’re obsessed.”

Rafe’s head snapped toward him. “Shut the fuck up.”

Topper stepped in. “Alright, alright. Chill.”

“I am chill,” Rafe said too fast, too sharp. His voice cracked at the end. “She just gets in my fucking head.”

They stood there a moment. The humming buzz of the store lights. The open freezer door beeping in the background.

“Let her go, man,” Topper said after a beat. “She’s just some girl.”

if you're interested: readers

[mmmerimari]

crash out!reader - the gala

The gala was all soft lights and polished shoes, a fundraiser, or some other excuse for the Kook elite to clink glasses and pretend the world outside their money didn’t exist. The music was tinny, the air thick with cologne, and she felt like her skin didn’t fit around her ribs.

Rafe had insisted. “It’s important,” he’d said, brushing a curl behind her ear in that half-sweet, half-possessive way he did. “They need to see us together.”

So she’d pulled on a cream satin dress that fit her too well, painted her lips, had a tight smile, and had her chin tucked. She was mingling with the other women along a bar that had an outlook over the backyard where the kids had been chasing each other before the rain started. Then his voice cut through the din, loud from too much bourbon, too much Rafe.

“She’s hot, sure. But you gotta train her, man,” he was saying, grinning lazily at Topper and some old family friend in a gray suit. “Like a dog, right? Can’t just let ‘em run around thinkin’ they’ve got a fuckin’ say.”

Topper chuckled. Gray Suit barked a laugh. “Jesus,” he said, not disapproving, more so, impressed.

Y/n froze.

He kept going. “Nah, seriously, you just gotta break that shit early. Be firm. Show her who’s in charge.” He sipped his drink, eyes glinting. “She gets mouthy, but she knows who owns the leash.”

A burning started in her gut, slow and quiet, but it spread fast. Her chin rose slowly as her jaw tightened and her eyes darted between her hands on the bar. The burning had made its way to her temples and the cacophony in her head came to a halt. Silence as laughter broke out from Rafe.

"Hey, you alright?" the brunette beside her asked, gently stroking her arm. Y/n had met her earlier in the evening, her voice was soft and not grating. But her touch? Her touch had Y/n flinch.

Y/n let out a small laugh that soon turned into one that drew Rafe's attention. Unbelievable.

"I'm gonna head out," Y/n muttered as she threw her hair back. Her temples were still drumming but she felt a little lighter with the idea of leaving clouding her mind. "Bye," she whispered in response to the brunette's whining.

She turned, heel-clicked past the flowers and waiters and tiny gold forks, and found the narrow hallway off the side of the ballroom where coats were racked high. Sucking air through her teeth when she was alone.

Rafe followed eventually. Of course, he did.

“Yo,” he said, sliding up behind her as she yanked someone else’s jacket from the rack and slung it over her shoulders. “Where do you think you're going?"

Y/n didn’t look at him. "Where do you think?”

He rolled his eyes. “What? What did I say now?”

“Train her like a dog?” Her eyebrows shoved together and baring her teeth as she spoke, her face scrunching up as a result. "She knows who owns the leash?"

His lips pursed quickly before opening his mouth wide. “You’re takin’ it outta context.”

“There is no context for calling me a fuckin’ animal.”

“Oh, come on,” he laughed, stepping closer, tilting his head as he lowered his voice. “It’s a joke, Y/n. Jesus. Don’t get sensitive.”

And that was it.

That word 'sensitive' like her rage was some performance like her pain was pointless.

She shoved him.

“Y/n—” He grabbed her wrist, her name coming out in a whispered and weak, a whine hidden under an exhausted tone.

She yanked her wrists free before shoving Rafe harder, freezing after realizing what she had just done and where they were. Rafe tilted his head, offended but entertained. He let out a noise that was half scoff, half laugh.

"Woah," he said, tone so condescending. "You sure you wanna do that here?"

Y/n stared at him, chest rising and falling. Her skin was tingling and her jaw was aching from the tension.

Rafe licked his lips. He glanced down the hall before looking back at her.

“Y/n…” he said, tilting his head. “Look- I get it. Alright? But it really was a joke.”

She narrowed her eyes. “A joke for who?”

“I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t mean it like that.” He stepped forward again slowly and carefully. “You’re not a dog. C’mon, you know that.”

She flinched when his fingers brushed her arm. “Don’t.”

But Rafe just kept going, eyes wide and pleading. Fake sweet. His voice like syrup over glass.

“I just want you here. Please. You know that right?” His hand slid to the coat draped on her. “I need you with me tonight. I told my dad about you, remember? Don’t let one dumb comment ruin that.”

She backed up, two steps then hit the wall. And he moved fast.

He caged her in. One arm against the wall beside her head. The other planted by her hip.

“Just breathe, yeah? That’s it…” he cooed, brushing a whispy strand from her cheek. “Let’s go back out there. Let me make it up to you. I’ll hold your hand the whole night. Look at you like you hung the fuckin’ moon. Just don’t walk away from me. Please.”

Her body stiffened. Her fists were clenched again, nails biting into her skin. “I don’t want that,” she said, her voice tight and compressed.

He leaned in closer. “Yeah, you do. You’re just mad right now. You don’t mean that.”

She blinked. Once. Twice. Her jaw set. The rage was back and it was burning up. Before she could speak a loud voice echoed from down the hallway, "C'mon, Rafe! Tighten that leash and get back in here!"

Y/n let out a giggle and smirked, the giggle growing into laughter that interrupted every word of her next sentence.

“I know exactly what I mean.”

Then she shoved Rafe so hard he hit the opposite wall.

“Y/n, fuck!”

She didn’t turn around. Not even when he called her name again, this time louder. Angrier.

She stormed out and when the cool air hit her skin outside. She tightened the coat against herself and started jogging.

Rafe stood occupied in the hallway, cursing out Topper as his words triggered Y/n. It's all Topper's fault. Rafe had the situation under control. Rafe was so close to fixing her. Topper just had to interrupt.

if you're interested: readers

[mmmerimari]

Rafe Cameron’s mannerisms

[mmmerimari]

I just wanted to say thank you for creating a space for people like me to feel normal despite the setbacks we have to work through. I’ve struggled with avoidant attachment and depression for as long as I can remember, and it’s incredibly hard to feel comfortable in my own skin, let alone with another person in a relationship. Though your stories experiences may not always mirror my own, it’s comforting to have readers that struggle to fit into a cookie-cutter, rom-com types of fics that I’ve grown accustomed to on this app. Not that I don’t enjoy them too, I just find it refreshing to see myself for once instead of dreaming about who I wish I was.

Anyways, I think you’re page is incredibly unique and necessary to this platform. Being able to feel capable and worthy of love, flaws and all, is soothing to both the heart and soul. Keep doing what you’re doing, I love it from the bottom of my heart💜

omg hii ty for this message!! i am glad to hear all this :) i am thrilled to make you feel "normal". i'll work hard to keep the readers authentic so you can feel comfortable. i am working on uploading something later today so look out for that. also if i ever upload, check out the readers list because i am planning on uploading for all the readers every time i upload. have a great day/night everyone!

[mmmerimari]

avoidant attatchment!reader - so dramatic

The air in Y/n’s room was thick with sweat, heat, and something heavier neither of them would name. The sheets were twisted around their legs like vines trying to hold them together, but the illusion of closeness was paper-thin.

Rafe lay flat on his back, his toned chest rising and falling in slow, measured breaths. His arms were wrapped tightly around Y/n, his muscles firm and possessive as if letting go might mean losing control altogether. Y/n rested against him, her cheek pressed into the hard lines of his chest.

The longer she stayed wrapped up in him, the more the ick crawled up her spine. A sudden, intrusive thought flickered through her mind—how familiar the weight of his arms felt. Not in a comforting, romantic way but like something else entirely. Instinctively, her body tensed, the closeness turning suffocating rather than secure.

Without warning, she pulled away, rough and quick, breaking the contact as it burned her.

Rafe blinked, his brows pulling together. "What's wrong?" His voice was low, but there was an edge to it now. A need for validation is hidden under faux concern.

"Nothing," Y/n said quickly, sitting up and brushing her hand through her messy hair. "’s just hot." The words felt like an easy excuse.

Rafe let out a short laugh, that infuriating smirk curling at the edges of his mouth. "Alright." But his hand snaked toward her again, fingers brushing her waist like he owned her.

She flinched. "Back off, Rafe." Her voice was sharper than she intended.

His charm cracked, just a little. "You don’t need to be a bitch about it," he muttered under his breath, turning his gaze toward the ceiling.

Y/n’s eyes narrowed, anger flaring in her chest. "And you don’t need to be so fucking dramatic." The words cut through the tension like a knife.

The silence that followed wasn’t peaceful. It was charged, and acidic. The kind of silence where everything unsaid screamed louder than words could.

Rafe sat up slowly, muscles tense beneath his tan skin, jaw flexing as if trying to keep himself in check. "You always do this, you know." His voice was quieter now, but meaner somehow. "Push me away and act like I’m the problem."

Y/n’s jaw clenched. "Maybe you are."

That was how it always went with them. They didn’t fight so much as wound each other in little ways with a shove here, a dig there, all wrapped in the guise of passion.

She turned away, pulling the blanket around herself like armor. "Just go to sleep, Rafe."

"Yeah, whatever." His voice was low and bitter, but he didn’t leave. He never left.

Instead, he lay back down beside her, the space between them as wide as an ocean. But even as the distance grew, neither of them could seem to let go.

[mmmerimari]

depressed!reader - afternoon nap

The afternoon light at Tannyhill poured across Rafe’s bed, warming the sheets, and blurring the edges of everything. Late afternoon sun spilled through the wide windows, draping the bed in a soft, gold haze. Outside, the house was still—quiet in that rare, empty way it only ever got when everyone else was gone. Y/n was curled against him, half-asleep, her face pressed into his chest like she was trying to disappear.

Rafe wasn't tired.

He never really was anymore.

Too wired. Too restless.

But she loved her stupid little naps, loved dozing off like she was a child or a puppy, and today, he didn’t argue. He just let her cling to him, sighing every now and then like it took effort to even exist.

Her nose pressed into the crook of his neck, her breath slow and warm against his skin. Her fingers curled loosely against his shirt. She wasn’t asleep yet—he could tell by the way her foot kept twitching under the blanket, restless little kicks like she was trying to drift but couldn’t quite let go.

He ran his hand through her hair lazily, tugging slightly at a knot he found but not bothering to be gentle.

"You’re somethin’ else, you know that?" he muttered, half under his breath. "Always gotta be layin’ around. Like you’re allergic to doing anything."

Y/n didn’t respond, only nuzzled closer, her breath slow and shallow against his shirt.

Rafe chuckled low in his throat, shaking his head a little.

"It’s cute, though. Real cute," he added as if that made it better. "You just...you need someone to keep you in line, huh?"

He kept petting her hair, more absent-minded now, the rhythm slightly rougher like he wasn’t paying attention to the way her body flinched every few strokes.

"Good thing you got me," he said, smirking. "Otherwise you'd probably just nap your life away. Forget you even got one."

The words came out teasing but sharp, sticking in the warm air between them.

Y/n bit her lip hard but didn’t move. She let herself stay still, breathing slowly, letting the drowsiness suck her back under even though she wasn’t fully asleep.

"You’re lucky I don’t mind takin’ care of you," Rafe said, quieter now, voice brushing the top of her head. "Most guys wouldn’t deal with it. You’re kinda...a lot."

He laughed like it was a joke. Like he wasn’t half-serious.

"But it’s alright," he added, more to himself than her. "You're like...low-maintenance in your own way. Just gotta feed you, pet you a little. Make sure you don’t wander off."

His hand slid down her spine, not gentle, not rough—just there, staking his claim.

"You make it easy," he murmured, almost sweet again. "You’re good when you’re half-asleep. Quiet."

Y/n stayed limp in his arms, heart beating slow and miserable in her chest.

"You’re alright, baby," he murmured, stroking the crown of her head. "I got you."

Y/n let out a tiny sigh, barely audible. Her body sagged even more against his.

He smiled, lazy and possessive.

This was the good part.

The part nobody else got to see.

He whispered against her hair, keeping his voice low, coaxing, "You just gotta let me take care of you."

He dragged his hand down her back, slow and sure, feeling the little shiver she gave in response. His other arm stayed locked around her middle, keeping her pressed tight to him.

"You don't gotta do anything, you know that?" he murmured. "Just stay right here. Let me handle it."

Y/n gave a small, sleepy nod, her forehead rubbing against his throat. Her breathing slowed, soft and uneven like she was finally tipping over the edge.

Rafe kept stroking her hair, slow, methodical, like winding down a clock.

"Good girl," he whispered, almost to himself. "Always so good when you’re like this. When you’re quiet. When you’re mine."

Y/n’s body went completely limp against him, boneless and warm, her foot finally going still under the blanket.

Rafe smiled again, lips brushing the top of her head.

He stayed there, awake, holding her in that heavy quiet, watching the light outside their window slip into a deeper gold, already knowing he wouldn’t let her wake up alone.

Not ever.

[mmmerimari]

crash out!reader - it's raining dogs

The rain came down in sheets, hammering the cracked pavement outside Y/n’s garage. She sat inside, slouched in a plastic chair, dripping wet, still wearing the suit jacket she hadn't bothered to take off after storming away from some fancy bullshit event.

Her temples throbbed so hard she thought her skull might split in two. A half-drank bottle of water sat abandoned at her feet. Her hands shook from the rage that hadn’t gone anywhere. Just coiled tighter.

A bang against the garage door made her jump. "Y/n!" Rafe's voice was ragged, furious. "Open up!"

She didn't move.

Another bang. Louder this time. "I swear to God, open the fuckin' door!"

Y/n rose stiffly, her whole body buzzing with static, and pressed the button to lift the garage door. The metal groaned up, slow, revealing Rafe standing there, soaked, chest heaving.

"Why'd you run off like that, huh?" he demanded, stepping inside. "You fuckin' humiliated me."

"You don't just leave! You don't just- when I tell you to stay, you fuckin' stay!"

"Well I’m not your fucking dog," she said lowly.

He advanced, and without thinking, Y/n grabbed the nearest thing off the bench, a wrench, and threw it. Not at him. Past him. It crashed into the wall, making him flinch.

"Jesus Christ!" Rafe shouted. Slamming his fists together and turning around, doing a 360. "You're outta your fuckin' mind."

"Well, isn't the sky full of clouds?" she said lowly. Teeth grating.

He shoved his hands through his hair, water flying off the strands. "If you weren't so sensitive then maybe-"

"Sensitive?" Y/n hissed. Her fists clenched so hard her nails cut into her palms.

Rafe’s jaw ticked. "You can't just fuckin' leave me like that," he said dangerously.

"What the fuck do you expect from me? When you humiliate me in front of your friends?" she whispered. But her hands were trembling badly, and her throat was closing, and the migraine behind her eyes was about to detonate.

Rafe looked at her. Really looked. Her hair was plastered to her skull, the empty, shattered look behind her eyes.

Something crumpled in him.

Without warning, he grabbed her face between his rough hands. Y/n jerked, shoving at his chest, but he just pulled her closer, pressing his forehead to hers, trembling harder than she was.

"I don't know how to treat you," he gasped. "but I can't lose you."

For a moment they stood locked together in the rattling garage, the sound of the rain deafening.

Then Y/n shoved him off.

"I hate you," she bit out, stepping backward.

"No, you don't," Rafe said, voice shaking. "You hate what I make you feel."

Y/n laughed, bitter and breathless, backing toward the open garage door. "Same fucking difference."

She turned and walked into the rain, the migraine finally breaking loose, tears she couldn't control blurring her vision.

She didn’t look back.

[mmmerimari]

coping!reader - yeah. yeah. don't help me...

The smell of beer and sweat clung to Rafe like a second skin as Y/n dragged him up the stairs of the house. His weight was dead against her side, and he wasn't helping, muttering under his breath, stumbling every other step.

Normally, they'd crash on a couch, or he'd catch himself when the dizziness started, flashing that wild grin and deciding it was time to head up. Tonight was different. Tonight he'd gotten cut off, belligerent enough that the guy at the keg had waved him off with both hands, and Rafe, proud, stubborn Rafe, hadn’t taken it well.

He shoved at the stair rail as they reached the landing, cursing loud enough that Y/n flinched.

"Let go," he muttered, jerking his arm out of her grasp, his gold chain thrashing around.

"Rafe-" she started, tightening her hold.

"Let go," he barked, wrenching free. He staggered sideways, catching himself against the wall, and glared at her like she'd betrayed him.

Y/n's stomach twisted. She hated drunk people. She’d learned to be normal around them with fake laughs, and casual nods but this, the slurred anger, the unpredictability, the way he looked at her without seeing her? She wanted to run. Vomit. Scream. She hated it.

"Get in the damn room, Rafe," she snapped, pushing past the fear, grabbing his wrist and towing him toward the door.

He stumbled in, dragging his feet like a child.

"You don't even fucking like me," Rafe slurred as he flopped down on the bed, bouncing once. His voice was heavy and spiteful, words dragged through the mud. "You just wanna take care of me, like I'm... broken."

Y/n's fingers curled into fists. She hated arguing when he was sober; this was a hundred times worse. She crossed the room, grabbed a water bottle off his desk, and tossed it onto the bed beside him.

"Drink that. Sleep it off," she said, unsure if that's even how it worked.

He stared at the water like it had personally insulted him. "You think you're better than me?"

"No," she said flatly, pushing the bottle closer to his hand. "I think you're drunk and stupid."

Rafe shoved the bottle off the bed with the back of his hand, sending it clattering to the floor. Y/n flinched again. Her skin was crawling. The nausea coiled tighter in her gut.

"I'm not fucking stupid," Rafe said, voice rising, struggling to sit up. His chest heaved under his wrinkled t-shirt.

Y/n backed toward the bathroom without thinking, trying to breathe through her nose, through the smell, through the sickness. "Lay down," she said, voice cracking despite herself.

"You don't even want me," he slurred, face twisted with ugly hurt. "No one does."

Y/n gritted her teeth, forcing herself to look at him. "That's not true. Shut up and sleep."

"Make me," he muttered, sagging back onto the mattress like a marionette with cut strings.

She didn’t answer. Couldn’t. The second he stopped moving, and stopped looking at her with those vacant, poisoned eyes, she turned and bolted into the bathroom.

The door barely clicked shut before she dropped to her knees and threw up. Hard. Over and over.

Tears sprang to her eyes, not from emotion, but from the force of it. She braced a hand against the tile, the other curled weakly around the toilet seat. Her whole body shook — not from fear, not anymore. She was strong now. She was. But the smell, the sounds, the memories scraped at her bones.

Rafe's head began to spin, body heavy like someone had packed sandbags inside his skin. He winced, as he heard the sound of retching. The wet, choking noise of her puking her guts out while he lay there, face buried in the mattress. Rafe squeezed his eyes shut, shame burning under his skin. He couldn't get up. Didn't want to move. Didn't even call out to her. He shifted, turning his head toward the desk chair, and sandwiched his head between his arm and the bed to muffle the sounds.

When she was done, she wiped her mouth with a trembling hand and sat back on her heels, breathing shallowly. She listened for a moment. Rafe’s breathing was deep and slow, heavy with sleep.

Y/n forced herself up, rinsed her mouth out at the sink, and splashed cold water on her face. She caught her reflection for half a second — pale, hollow-eyed — and turned away.

She went back into the room. Quiet. Heavy. Careful.

Rafe was out cold, arm thrown over his face, mouth parted in exhausted sleep. He looked harmless now. Vulnerable. Pathetic.

Y/n sat down in the desk chair, pulling her knees up to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She wouldn't leave him. Couldn't. But she wasn't getting in that bed either.

Not tonight.

[mmmerimari]

leading on!reader - "fuck, matt- louis- fuck! rafe!"

The sky bled orange and pink across the horizon, soft streaks of light folding into the darkening blue of the sea. Y/n stood barefoot in the cool sand, arms loosely crossed as the wind teased her hair, carrying the salt of the ocean to her lips. The waves whispered low and steady, each pull of the tide like a breath being held and released.

For once, it was peaceful.

Until it wasn’t.

“Lose something?”

Rafe’s voice broke through the quiet like glass cracking under pressure. She didn’t even look at him at first. She already knew the kind of storm that was about to break.

It wasn’t until her phone dangled in front of her, unlocked and glowing in his hand, that she turned her head. A small, almost amused smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

“How’d you do that?” Her voice was playful, like this was just another joke between them.

Rafe’s own smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Cut the bullshit,” he said smoothly, though his gaze flicked back toward the house, where shadows moved behind the wide glass windows. He had an audience to consider family, friends, and anyone who might catch a glimpse of the golden boy being anything but.

Y/n let her arms fall to her sides, her expression unreadable.

“So…” Rafe’s voice lowered, venom threading through the silk. “Who the fuck are Matt and Louis?”

Y/n sighed like someone tired of hearing the same bad joke. She didn’t answer, though, not yet. Instead, she stepped closer, slow and measured, her hands sliding up to rest around his shoulders like they always did when she was trying to settle him down or maybe just playing at affection.

He didn’t flinch, but the muscle in his jaw tightened.

“I went through everything,” Rafe muttered, smile still plastered to his face like a mask. “No Matt. No Louis. You delete their messages, huh? Keep it nice and clean for me?”

Y/n’s smile didn’t fade, even as his words sharpened. She leaned in, close enough that her breath touched his neck. “You’re paranoid,” she whispered, voice almost teasing.

His hand clenched around her phone. “You think I’m fucking stupid?” His tone was soft, but the fury underneath simmered hot. “You don’t accidentally say random guys’ names, one after another unless they matter.” His smile stretched wider, dangerous now. “What, am I just another trophy for you? Something to play with until you get bored and move on?”

Y/n shook her head slowly, resting her forehead against his shoulder. “You’re exhausting,” she murmured like it was an inside joke. Her fingers traced lazy patterns at the base of his neck, casual and gentle as none of this mattered.

But it did. Rafe’s grip on her phone tightened.

“You’re a fucking liar,” he hissed through clenched teeth, voice low enough that the ocean nearly swallowed it. “You think I don’t see the way you look at other guys? You think I don’t notice when you’re just a little too friendly?”

Y/n’s laughter was soft, barely more than a breath against his skin. She pulled back just enough to look at him, eyes calm, cool, and utterly unaffected.

“It’s none of your business,” she said sweetly like she was indulging him.

That was what pissed him off most. Not the words themselves but the ease with which she said them like none of this touched her. Like all his anger, all his jealousy barely scraped the surface of her indifference.

Rafe’s smile didn’t falter, not with the house in view. But his voice dropped, low and bitter. “I brought you here. Introduced you to my family. And you’re out here acting like none of it means shit.”

Y/n’s eyes flicked toward the house behind him, her smile curling just a little wider, just a little colder. “Maybe it doesn’t.”

His expression darkened, the mask slipping for half a second before he swallowed it back down.

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” he whispered.

Y/n leaned in, voice soft as silk. “So are you.”

And just like that, the space between them vanished. They stood there, two perfect lies wrapped in each other’s arms, the sunset painting them in gold like they belonged together.

But every second was a loaded gun, and both of them were waiting to pull the trigger first.

[mmmerimari]

readers

coping!reader

yeah. yeah. don't help me...

test drive

leading on!reader

fuck, matt- louis- fuck! rafe!

like a siren

depressed!reader

afternoon nap

swimming lesson

avoidant attatchment!reader

so dramatic

i think i just want gum

crash out!reader

it's raining dogs

the gala

readers are not going to be consistent but pls correct me when it comes to rafe's character!

[mmmerimari]

intro

call me mari or meri

i'm 19. i'm interested in writing the most authentic version of rafe (in which he would be interested in someone) so pls correct me, debate, send me your opinions.

readers

[mmmerimari]

avoidant attachment!reader

aa!reader who knows that inside she is capable

aa!reader who gets frustrated easily during serious conversations

aa!reader who rarely looks at faces

aa!reader who is soothed by silence and loneliness

aa!reader who wiggles her fingers over the pressure plates of "traps"

aa!reader who craves intimacy

aa!reader who always wonders where that big scar on her chest came from

aa!reader who balls up like a hedgehog when held

aa!reader who's skin burns when she thinks about how she is being touched

aa!reader who gets rid of emotional evidence

aa!reader who plays dumb

Y/n was splayed out on the grass. Rafe looked down at her like she was some strange specimen.

"You gonna get up any time soon?" He asked, wiping his bottom lip as his eyes left her and glanced around the field they were in. Y/n stayed silent.

"I mean come on, we're going to be late," Rafe continued.

Y/n popped her head up, "Then you can leave?"

She twisted her head and squinted to make eye contact, "I never wanted to go."

Rafe made a 'huh' sound as his lips curled into an unintentional smirk.

"You serious right now?"

"I drove us out here because I thought it would calm you down before we head to midsummers. Now you're telling me you didn't even plan on coming with me?"

Y/n rolled her eyes and stuffed her face back into the grass.

The grass here was nice. Over many trips, she'd discovered that there were rarely bugs here (strange) and the grass was soft, long, and flimsy.

Rafe bent over and grabbed her wrist, "Yeah, no. You're coming. Get up."

Y/n wrist started to heat up at Rafe's touch. She tried to twist out of it. "Rafe, stop."

Rafe dropped her wrist and stepped back as Y/n sat up. His hands went to his temples. "Jesus, it's like you don't understand anything. Are you fucking mentally stunted?"

Y/n sighed and glanced to the side, into the sunset. The horizon wasn't a nice gradient of blue and orange this evening. It was a straight line across the skyline. Soft clouds took over the higher sky.

Rafe snapped his fingers in front of her face.

"The fuck is wrong with you? I go on about how important this shit is to me and you just space out?"

Y/n just huffed and tried to focus on Rafe's face. Rafe lunged forward and grabbed her by the shoulders. He forcibly held her, lifting her off the ground and forcing her to stand up.

Her shoulders caved in, her back rounding out as her eyebrows furrowed and her nose scrunched. "Get off me."

Rafe put a centimeter of space between his hands and her shoulders. He took a deep breath, "Listen, I told people you would be there tonight. Alright? And- and I need you to be there or else I am going to look like a fucking dumbass showing up alone."

His hands moved up to the sides of her face, brushing the stray hairs behind her ears as the wind blew them around.

"I didn't tell you to tell people. How is that my fault?"

Rafe's hands tightened around her head before he let go and backed up. His lips pursed as air filled his mouth. He wanted to scream.

"I'm not saying it's your fucking fault, I am just saying you need to come with me." His eyes darted around her face, between her face and to the tips of her hair blowing around again.

"No."

The next few minutes flew by. Y/n doesn't even remember what happened. Something about this being it. "This is it, the last time," spewed out of his mouth. Y/n chest tightened as she started to actually think about what it would mean to show up at midsummers with Rafe. And suddenly she didn't feel so bad about not going with him.

Just like that, Rafe got in his truck and drove off. Leaving her in the field.

if you're interested: readers

[mmmerimari]

coping!reader

coping!reader who loves yellow because that was her favorite color when she was a child

coping!reader who loves girly things because she was shamed out of her girly girl phase

coping!reader who is sarcastic, loves dark humor, and alienates you if you take her serious

coping!reader who has never thrown away a journal so she can remember

coping!reader who knows she was meant to be extroverted

coping!reader who doesn't believe she is who she was meant to be

coping!reader who cuts her hair randomly

coping!reader who loves expressing herself through performance

coping!reader who quotes shit all the time

coping!reader who ironically enjoys dad/dry humor

She sat across the lawn. Her hair was free, tangled but her bangs were like curtains to her face. It was hard not to see her in that yellow plaid, baby doll top that ensured she was covered up but airy.

She was surrounded by her friends sprawled across thrifted quilts, passing around popcorn bags and sodas. She laughed hard at something, throwing her head back, but it wasn’t the kind of laugh you shared, it was the kind you performed.

Rafe watched from where he stood near the edge of it all, arms crossed tight over his chest, taking sips of his drink every so often.

“Dude. Can we go yet?” Kelce complained beside him, shoving his hands in his pockets. Topper was halfway back to the truck already, pretending to answer some text that didn’t exist.

“No.” Rafe didn’t look at them. He didn't mean to let his eyes drift to her so often. It wasn't his fault anyway.

She wore too much yellow. Not just the top, but her tote bag, her phone case, and even her sneakers had these stupid little sunflower doodles on them. Her whole vibe screamed bright and loud but somehow she was neither. Every time she smiled, her eyes didn’t.

Wheezie bounded past him, almost knocking his soda out of his hand. “You’re such a creep!” she hissed, grinning, before sprinting back toward the foldout chairs Sarah and her friends had claimed.

Rafe didn’t move. He didn’t care.

The girl tugged her bangs behind one ear and dug around her purse.

Someone nudged her, probably teasing, but she flipped them off casually without even looking. Then she said something, too far away to hear, but it made the whole group lose it. She smirked to herself after like she knew she was pushing the line but didn’t care if anyone got it.

“You’re pathetic,” Topper muttered, coming back with a hot dog. “Let's just go bro.”

Rafe gave him a dead look. “My dad told me to watch Wheezie.”

“Bro, Sarah’s literally got it.”

“She’s Sarah.” His voice sharpened, making Kelce roll his eyes. The film started, the opening credits to some old cult classic splashing against the screen with the summer sky in the background.

She leaned forward on her knees now, quoting something, he could tell by the way she gestured dramatically, hand over her heart like she was giving a eulogy. Half the group groaned, fake-booing her, and she just laughed harder.

She loved attention, but not in a desperate way. She performed it. Played at being extroverted. He could see it in the way she scanned the crowd when she thought nobody was looking. Like she was trying to find a mirror to prove she existed.

if you're interested: readers