mmriesoftvat

[mmriesoftvat]

new blog link.

goodbye, memories of teyvat.

hello, new gremlin shits that i love.

FOLLOW ME THERE, THIS BLOG IS DONE.

[mmriesoftvat]

new blog link.

goodbye, memories of teyvat.

hello, new gremlin shits that i love.

FOLLOW ME THERE, THIS BLOG IS DONE.

[mmriesoftvat]

new blog link.

goodbye, memories of teyvat.

hello, new gremlin shits that i love.

FOLLOW ME THERE, THIS BLOG IS DONE.

[mmriesoftvat]

new blog link.

goodbye, memories of teyvat.

hello, new gremlin shits that i love.

FOLLOW ME THERE, THIS BLOG IS DONE.

[mmriesoftvat]

new blog link.

goodbye, memories of teyvat.

hello, new gremlin shits that i love.

FOLLOW ME THERE, THIS BLOG IS DONE.

[mmriesoftvat]

new blog link.

goodbye, memories of teyvat.

hello, new gremlin shits that i love.

FOLLOW ME THERE, THIS BLOG IS DONE.

[mmriesoftvat]

new blog link.

goodbye, memories of teyvat.

hello, new gremlin shits that i love.

FOLLOW ME THERE, THIS BLOG IS DONE.

[mmriesoftvat]

so i might (will) remake and attempt a comeback.

i've gone through too much on this blog. legitimately, i have a lot of bad memories associated with this account, i need a completely fresh start.

i'm probably going to drop most characters (or have them on a side blog over on my revamp), but they'll still be there in the background.

completely fresh start, mostly.

thanks for sticking with me this far over here, and i'll post a link when i remake.

love you guys!

[mmriesoftvat]

Some time back, I commissioned my dear friend @saphies-art-station for some Cyno/Wanderer art, dedicated to my friend Spencer @mmriesoftvat especially. It's here!

I cherish all Wanderers who have the guts to mess with Cyno, and Kaminari has proven himself one of the prickliest thorns at his side. How could I not fall in love?

To more of their shenanigans and adventures! And thank you again Saphie, so so much! I absolutely adore this!

Saru-mun\\

[mmriesoftvat]

.

the good news is my tf.2 hyperfixation is finally at long last, is wearing out.

the bad news is it's being replaced by sky.rim.

I literally cannot fight my brain at this point. should i offer discord rp at this point? or should I keep trying?

[mmriesoftvat]

"I'm aware of traps, I'm used to walking into them."

Chongyun has been led into many types of traps over the years, from strangers, to even their best friend luring them into traps. At this point, it's easier to just accept the possibility than to ignore it completely and risk getting hurt over it. It's not the General's fault he's not aware of how Chongyun operates -- the man probably has never left Sumeru.

"If you wish to accompany me, I won't turn it down. Some company would never hurt, either." Chongyun even offers a grin. It's strange; how does one go from despising the mahamatra to accepting his help? It's a mystery, but Chongyun also has a feeling the General woulsdn't allow a 'no' response regardless.

"Old ruins, specifically ones half buried in sand." Chongyun shrugs. "I'd need to refill on water to help keep my vision working, but I'm good on snacks. I think."

He mentions this, because Chongyun wonders how long he'd be wandering the desert if left to his own devices without food. He has a feeling food and water would be hard to find out there, though he's also never been before.

"I appreciate the help, General. Thank you." He offers a small bow.

"Money, huh?"

Cyno's arms had crossed sternly across his chest, his weight shifting on one foot more than the other as he stared at the exorcist. Clearly dissatisfied with this answer, he remained silent for a moment, while his piercing glare sought to pry Chongyun's very soul open to his eyes. After a few heavy seconds in which only the faint breeze could be heard, he lifted his chin slightly and spoke again.

"You must be in dire need to be accepting an offer blindly like that. If I were you, I'd suspect this to be a trap." He noted, resting hands on his hips with a tone that left no room for argument. "There's plenty of temples in Sumeru. It'll be faster and safer if I accompany you. Something's not right about this business, and I plan to find out the truth personally."

He didn't ask for permission; nor if Chongyun had reason to object. This was merely information on a condition the General Mahamatra had just imposed on the visitor, one that Chongyun would have to obey to.

"What were you told to look for? That should give me a better idea of where you're headed."

[mmriesoftvat]

maybe ready to come back. but i have some things i need to get off my chest. nothing about tumblr, just shit in my personal life and i need to share.

i have been very very depressed for over 10 years now. every friend i had in person up and left for various reasons. either drifting apart, or crashing and burning the friendship until not even the ashes could be salvaged. to this day i still don't know what happened or even if i had a chance of fixing things.

but that kind of shit eats at you, and it eats away at your very core until there's nothing left. i bounced around here and there, trying to find a sense of community, but even online bonds were fickle and shaky at best.

it's been excellent here. the problem is, as a result of all the shit going sideways in my irl life, i tend to take things a lot more personally online than i know i should. every time something even goes slightly haywire, it fucks with my head and i end up having anxiety/panic attacks, and then my boyfriend gets concerned/angry because i'm curled up in a ball sobbing over "online friendships" and it's just a neverending cycle.

my communication sucks. my guilt over not being here sucks. i figured if i took a break, i'd be able to step back and clear my head some, try to actually separate myself from tumblr and focus on other things. and i did.

i found some form of faith. i won't get into detail over it, but it's providing a comfort i didn't know i needed for so many years. i just needed SOME kind of outlet to turn to, and it's helping me little by little. the past month has been a test of my patience too. my boyfriend got covid, i reconnected with my younger sister, and things are still rocky at home, but slowly becoming a little more stable for me.

all in all, i actually, genuinely feel like i could be some level of okay, for the first time in many years. not pretending, not a glimpse or a fleeting moment of happiness, but a genuine sense of okay that is long overdue.

i don't feel like i've outwardly changed. i still feel like me, just with a newfound sense of happiness. all that said though, the hiatus and break was long overdue. THANK YOU for letting me figure myself out once and for all. the break without the overwhelming guilt definitely helped me out, and because of that, i feel ready to come back.

i'm not going to jump headfirst into things, because i still am and will be addicted to tf2 for some time to come (if you want to play it with me, message me. they finally got rid of the bot infestation), and i am making it a POINT to spend more time with my boyfriend and reconnecting with him. it's something we both needed.

anyway.

chongyun still best boy!

[mmriesoftvat]

maybe ready to come back. but i have some things i need to get off my chest. nothing about tumblr, just shit in my personal life and i need to share.

i have been very very depressed for over 10 years now. every friend i had in person up and left for various reasons. either drifting apart, or crashing and burning the friendship until not even the ashes could be salvaged. to this day i still don't know what happened or even if i had a chance of fixing things.

but that kind of shit eats at you, and it eats away at your very core until there's nothing left. i bounced around here and there, trying to find a sense of community, but even online bonds were fickle and shaky at best.

it's been excellent here. the problem is, as a result of all the shit going sideways in my irl life, i tend to take things a lot more personally online than i know i should. every time something even goes slightly haywire, it fucks with my head and i end up having anxiety/panic attacks, and then my boyfriend gets concerned/angry because i'm curled up in a ball sobbing over "online friendships" and it's just a neverending cycle.

my communication sucks. my guilt over not being here sucks. i figured if i took a break, i'd be able to step back and clear my head some, try to actually separate myself from tumblr and focus on other things. and i did.

i found some form of faith. i won't get into detail over it, but it's providing a comfort i didn't know i needed for so many years. i just needed SOME kind of outlet to turn to, and it's helping me little by little. the past month has been a test of my patience too. my boyfriend got covid, i reconnected with my younger sister, and things are still rocky at home, but slowly becoming a little more stable for me.

all in all, i actually, genuinely feel like i could be some level of okay, for the first time in many years. not pretending, not a glimpse or a fleeting moment of happiness, but a genuine sense of okay that is long overdue.

i don't feel like i've outwardly changed. i still feel like me, just with a newfound sense of happiness. all that said though, the hiatus and break was long overdue. THANK YOU for letting me figure myself out once and for all. the break without the overwhelming guilt definitely helped me out, and because of that, i feel ready to come back.

i'm not going to jump headfirst into things, because i still am and will be addicted to tf2 for some time to come (if you want to play it with me, message me. they finally got rid of the bot infestation), and i am making it a POINT to spend more time with my boyfriend and reconnecting with him. it's something we both needed.

anyway.

chongyun still best boy!

[mmriesoftvat]

Been doing some thinking, and I've reached a small, temporary decision:

I'm going on hiatus. I keep coming back and disappearing, I keep dropping one thread and calling it good, and I know it's disappointing, I can't keep making promises, plotting threads out and then not actually delivering.

THIS ISN'T FOREVER.

I just have so many other hobbies I want to focus on. video games to play, books to read, a life to live for once now that i'm finally pulling myself out of a several-year-long depression pit. I cannot focus on tumblr right now.

THIS DOESN'T MEAN I'M LEAVING THOUGH. i'm still reachable on discord (that's freezerburntspank for you mutuals, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHO YOU ARE BEFORE ADDING ME.)

i DO plan on coming back. i don't know exactly when, but don't count all our threads lost. i still do plan on getting to them when i let myself calm down. right now i just am yanking myself in so many different directions it's almost overwhelming, and i need to put one hobby down for others.

remember that hiatus aren't forever, and i'm not willing to drop my friendships or all my threads over this. i just need a good, solid break in order to focus on me for a bit. i love you all tons and i look forward to seeing you on discord, or here in the future!

[mmriesoftvat]

what if chongyun started making ice sculptures with their cryo?

actually, come to think of it, does the ice even melt, or do cryo vision bearers have control over that too?

[mmriesoftvat]

"Chongyun, have you heard of the spirit of the dead chicken said to hunt Sumeru's farmers every night during the New Moon?" Asks a familiar dry voice.

Quite fittingly for the occasion, Cyno looks dead serious. But then again, he always does.

"I'm no expert, but I think this might be a real poultrygeist."

Chongyun perks up, a little intrigued by the possibility of some fresh work in Sumeru. Things have been a little dry lately, and while funds aren't tight, Chongyun would still like to make some extra mora for survivability purposes. They still have to import food from Inazuma, after all, and it's more expensive than when they'd lived in Liyue.

Unfortunately, the more Cyno continues to speak, the more Chongyun realizes he's being set up for a joke. A brief flicker of disappointment crosses his features, before his lips curl upward. Cyno's sense of humor may not be the best exactly, but he certainly knows how to cater a joke to his audience. Jokes about ghosts and spirits especially tickle Chongyun's funnybone.

"I say we should go out next new moon then," Chongyun says casually, easing into the humor being laid out. "Maybe there's some truth to your joke. If not, then we can at least say we weren't chickens about the whole thing."

Oh, now they're hungry, too. Suddenly, some food, particularly of the roast variety, doesn't sound half bad.

[mmriesoftvat]

If I asked Kami to define “love” what would he say?

"you want me to define what, now?" a scoff, a snarl on his face, before he turns away and crosses his arms. inside is a mix of emotions, mostly leaning negative. he isn't used to the concept, had sworn it off after the boy. but kaminari can't help the swell in his chest, the growing empty feeling that feels like it'll never be filled.

sure, there are people in his life now that he cares for, but caring isn't the same thing as loving someone. he doesn't understand how someone can give their heart away so easily and not expect to be scorned in the process.

"you want to know what i think?" he dares peek back, face still sullen and expression filled with uncertainty. "i think it's stupid to waste your time and emotions on people who won't return it. too many people throw that word around without thinking of the ramifications. it's a waste of time to love someone in that manner."

he wants it he wants it he wants it.

"as long as you're prepared for the consequences and heartbreak that comes from loving someone, it's none of my business. but if you're not prepared for any of it, and think you're above it all, the world will find a way to make you remember the grief that comes with love. it's futile to try and escape it."