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how to get close to people for beginners

getting close to people strategies

first time getting close to people walkthrough

techniques for getting close to people

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a love letter to myself

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very specific situation that happens to me and my partners a lot

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parents will be like "We're good parents! We did our best!" while their child is alone in their room, terrified of footsteps, unable to conceptualize being loved by anyone.

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Your future self is hating you for the poor decisions you’re making today.

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Hhghhfhhgh another life update: I have to argue with people and establish clear boundaries or else I'll be stuck bottling up my emotions and my mental health suffering as a result

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Before I put myself back together, I spent some time among the ruins— a dark and magnificent place where I got to know all the pieces of my soul. Pieces of me that I didn't even know existed.

Kristin Kory

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I hope all my followers find their happiness so they won’t have to reblog my sad posts.

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one of the most boring lessons I’ve learned is that when a task feels overwhelming, you just have to start doing it. Even if you’re not sure how to do 90% of it, look for one small component that seems close and start there. Sometimes it’s reading one article on the topic, or searching one related term, or literally just googling how to do the task. Do anything other than thinking about it. The process of working on a thing inherently makes it less scary.

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What you call self-sabotage might just be your body saying: "Familiar pain feels safer than unfamiliar peace"

What you call procrastination might just be your body saying: "I'm overwhelmed and everything feels too much"

What you call anxiety might just be your body saying: "I've been in danger before, and I don't know if it's over yet"

What you call neediness might just be your body saying: "I didn't get what I needed, and I'm still longing"

What you call overreacting might just be your body saying: "This feels like danger to me because it once was"

What you call emotional instability might just be your body saying: "I was never taught that feeling emotions could be safe"

What you call resistance might just be your body saying: "I don't feel safe enough to do what you want me to"

What you call laziness might just be your body saying: "I'm frozen because I had to work hard for too long"*

What you call numbness might just be your body saying: "I had to shut down to keep you safe"

What you call avoidance might just be your body saying: "Im not ready to face this yet. I need slower exposure to it"

(the.trauma.educator on ig)

*gentle reminder that body gets tired also after doing mentally draining work/job (which includes feeling stressed too, not just studying or working 9-5 in front of a computer -which holds responsabilities, anyway)

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i am very proud of you for waking up today. you are very brave. existing can be hard sometimes and that is okay. i am proud of you even if all you did today was exist. i am proud of you for existing.

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Some helpful phrases I think when I’m starting to spiral:

I am not my intrusive thoughts.

This is not an emergency. I can slow down and think about what my next step is.

I’ve been through similar circumstances before and survived. I’m going to be okay.

I won’t argue with irrational thoughts.

It’s okay that I’m having these thoughts. I don’t need to act on them.

I am capable of getting through this.

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it won’t be like what you imagined. maybe you get the road trip to the beach with coffee in your hand and the radio playing, maybe you don’t. but happy shows up. it’s in a 2 AM game of jenga with your new college friends. it’s curling up for another marathon of netflix. it’s meeting the person who will be your best man at the wedding. it’s 4:45pm in the library when the girl in the study coral across from you quietly whispers “i’m going to set everything on fire” and then turns to you and asks if you wanna take a break for dinner (say yes, she’s very nice and you both need a moment away from the stress). it’s the mornings they have omelettes and in good books and in a puddle that looks cool. it’s sometimes picturesque, but more often it’s full-belly laughter at stupid things on the floor of your friend’s house while in the background someone is debating the best way to win settlers of catan. 

i know it gets dark early now and the tired is setting in and everything sort of feels blank and hazy and you want to spend ages staring at walls thinking of nothing

but happiness will find a way in. it will be small moments. look for them.

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