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[molotovgod]

Aneurysm pt. 3

[molotovgod]

Aneuversary (pt. 1)

Today, one year ago, my life changed completely as my life itself was challenged by a ruptured Aneurysm (Subarachnoid Hemorrhage). I’m still walking the road of recovery and I think I’m doing well, not great but well, which in its own way, is great.

As I was preparing to go to sleep, I remember making sure that my alarm was set, when all of a sudden I felt a very strange feeling from my ears, like cabin pressure that grew heavier as time went by. I didn’t know what this feeling was so I instinctively tried to pop my ears but the pressure didn’t go away nor did I feel the slight relieve one feels when air is released.

I sat on my bed confused but still didn’t worry about this strange feeling, it was nothing, I thought to myself. As I felt that immense pressure rising, another strange thing happened, I felt a sudden rush of—what I can describe as—fizz, from my neck all the way to my head. It felt like pouring a cup of soda and watching all those bubbles race to the top or like the feeling of eating pop rocks. I was not certain as to what this new feeling was but me being as stubborn and proud as ever thought nothing of it. I got up from my bed to get a glass of water and to try to understand what was going on, but things only aggravated even more when I realized something odd about my legs; they weren’t responding as they usually do. You see, now I know that we really take for granted our abilities to do stuff like running, talking or writing something. For instance, we don’t realize why we need the index finger until you jam it or injure it, and now, not being able to use that one finger, all of a sudden makes our life difficult—until it has recovered of course—and we go back to forgetting that picking up things or writing things was hard. It's not until something happens that we begin to worry about it. Having that nonchalant mentality, I was not expecting losing some mobility from both my legs and Instead of walking, I was dragging my feet. This was now somewhat scary but not enough to call for help still. Even after all of that, I thought to myself that it would be a burden to call someone at one in the morning to ask for help, so I didn’t because I thought I would get better, that this was only momentary. However, it wasn’t until my arms started to shake uncontrollably that I decided to call someone. I called a good friend of mine that somehow picked up the phone at that hour. I remember asking him to take me to the hospital, he didn’t say anything and just rushed to my house. I then called my chain of command, which was to me more of a courtesy not out of charity, they don’t need to know my business, I thought. Once my buddy made it to my house, I was able to somehow make it to his car. At this point I begun to feel my consciousness somewhat fade and my memory also became very faint. My buddy described the ride as “terrible”, I kept asking him to switch the air from hot to cold and he said I started to blabber random things, which I don’t recall, but knowing that now, I can assume I was going into shock. What I do remember is that every little jerk the car would make or a bump on the road would be extremely painful, a pain that I was not able to ease off, a stinging, throbbing pain that made me toss and turn from side to side; he’s right, that night was terrible. The last thing I remember from this terrifying night is getting to the E.R., where my buddy rushed to get some help. I looked over and both my friend and an Army medic that was pushing a wheel chair were rushing my way. I mustered some strength and managed to open the door. I wanted to help by at least carry both my legs outside the door but just as I began to do it, both my hands seized up nearing my chest. I remember the hands twisted as the arms came closer to my upper body and I tried with all my might to pull them away as hard as I could but I couldn’t. As the hands locked, crossed one over the other, my neck along with my head shifted to the right, where it rested on the right shoulder. I was scared and for the first time, between being conscious and unconscious, I thought it was a big deal. I don’t remember leaving the car and getting taken into the hospital. All I remember now is waking up in a hospital bed with a lot of tubes and PICC lines attached to my arm. For the most part, my ICU stay was very comfortable and I was glad that it was over. Unfortunately for me however, this was only the beginning of my life-changing experience.