mommarowan - Tumblr blog

[mommarowan]

Without hesitation, Rowan quickly pressed her hands to his face and brought it down a little closer to her. "I love you too, Red." She whispered before carefully pressing her lips to his. "I've always loved you too." She mumbled before pulling her body into his, feeling her heart pick up pace.

Red kept his eyes down in the moments she didn’t reply. He didn’t know what more to say. When he heard his name he looked up do see her stepping closer to him. He looked to her his eyes covered in a little sadness. He never thought he’d end up saying these things to her.. “I..” He nibbled his lip softly. “It hurt.. To see you when you were with other people because they always ended up hurting you.. They did something and I was there only to comfort you. I would drop anything I was doing because I really just wanted to see you smile and make sure you were okay..” Red shook his head looking down, “My hate only intensified everytime James messed up with you because he didn’t seem to know how lucky he was..” He said, struggling to keep a smile, but wasn’t working well..

[mommarowan]

Rowan paused, just where she stood and felt like her heart was nearly breaking at his words. The worst part of it all, was she barely knew. Rowan could always feel something between them when they were younger but the words he was using were so strong and dedicated.. She could feel the breath escape her, and it was nearly impossible to inhale. "Red." She whispered, closing her eyes before moving a little closer to him. "I want to hear it, I want to hear the whole thing, please." She mumbled, opening her eyes and looking into his. "It's so immensely important that you tell me right now all of it."

Red looked away hearing her words, “You don’t think I tried to change who I was.. I even considered actually going into jail again to be with you, Ro.. I tried.. I tried so hard to be with you.. When I found out about you two I just.. I didn’t know what to do..  I was pretty lost.. Pathetic I know.. And then I got the job offer and I thought ‘What a perfect distraction’..” He sighed and bit his lip hard. “I was going to tell you that once and for all that I was undeniably in love with you.. You were the one person that I actually felt something with..” He paused and sighed shaking his head, “It was a big love confession really.. It’s really not anything you weren’t aware of.. Then you came out and it just didn’t work in my favour..”

[mommarowan]

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Rowan sighed heavily. "You could have wrote me, or lied about who you were, I don't know. My life was different without you for sure, and then James and I got pregnant, the next thing I know I'm out of there, living a life without you." She sighed, turning her attention towards the ground once their eyes met. "I want to know, Red." 

Red walked silently in anticipation, waiting for her to respond. He rubbed his arm slightly, “I couldn’t call.. Could’t visit.. What more could I have done?” He muttered gently, glancing over. “I.. I don’t think it matters anymore..” He whispered, looking back to her eyes.

[mommarowan]

Rowan allowed his words to sink in before sighing heavily. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, nipping hard at her lip as a strong taste of metal covered her tongue. "I- you vanished from my life, Red." She whispered into the empty street way. "What were you going to say?" She mumbled, lifting her eyes to meet his.

Red smiled brightly at first but it slowly faded when he listened to her rambles that became a lot less casual “Uhm.. I..” He didn’t know how to put it.. It was something that he’d attempted to ignore and forget. “I contemplated calling when you got out because they wouldn’t let a ex con call.. I knew everything I was going to say.. I had it planned thoroughly.. But, I’m going to admit..” He paused and looked down to the iced floor. “I.. I found out that you were pregnant with your second kid, both have the same father.. James.. I didn’t know what to say.. I didn’t call.” 

[mommarowan]

Rowan felt the smile on her face grow as she walked with him. Her hands sliding into the front of her jacket, a soft chuckle escaped her lips. She quickly bit back her lip trying to hide her excitement. "What shall we discuss?" She questioned, tilting her head to the side ever so slightly. "The rain, the weather, the fact that you went to hollywood and I was here in this dumpy old time making a life without a single phone call from mister bigshot?" The young woman rambled, feeling her smile slowly fade.

Red shoved his hands in his pocket looking around and then back to her, “I’m glad we did too. I haven’t seen you in forever I think we needed some more catching up.” He said to her, smiling cheekily. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t miss her when he got out. She’d not only been the person he loved, but his bestfriend, he missed that. “I’m thinking we go wherever our feet take us. Just walk aimlessly looking at anything we find.”

[mommarowan]

Rowan chewed on her lip as she made her way out into the snow, a shiver running down her spine as the cold nipped at her exposed skin. Cupping her hands around her face, she giggled like a small school girl. "Oh Red, I'm so happy we did this." She nodded, the silence just left her body flowing with joy, she loved how secluded the two were, they could do anything and no one would know. "Where do you want to go first?" She questioned, looking to him with wide, hopeful eyes.

Red laughed, shaking his head with a large grin. It was just like the good ol’days they had. When they were younger Rowan would drag him round for adventures and just like back then, he couldn’t say no. “I know I have, don’t remind me.” He teased. Red allowed her to lead him out and when they stepped out he instantly shivered, but hid it. “Gorgeous.” He said looking from her to the snow all around.

[mommarowan]

I can't tell her, I can never tell her. Any time I try to tell her something she gets so angry with me and writes me off, she wants nothing to do with me, honestly. I don't even know how to tell her I've never given them bad news, not once that was always James' job, never mine. Now he's fucking gone and I'm so confused on how to do anything. I can't even properly put Amanda to bed at night.

Well… Sometimes teenagers just go a little too fast, and they don’t hold on to the greater things in life. Maybe she was just really rebellious. You know, moms come in all shapes and sizes, I doubt any mom is actually a Betty Crocker mom, and besides she probably wasn’t raised in prison, which is all that matters because that means you’ve changed and never went back to bad… Wait… Her dad’s dead? You should probably tell her soon or something- You’re not, you’re really not, you’ve just got a daughter who doesn’t realize she’s missing out on you.

[mommarowan]

"This is going to be great." ROWAN nodded, quickly reaching and linking their arms together as they always did. Something about her taking him out on a wild adventure into the cold, brought her back all those years ago to when she was just a young harlot, making a name for herself in a prison. "You've always loved it." She nodded, smiling as she continued to walk down and towards the front door to the building. "It looks beautiful, don't it?"

Red laughed softly at her excitement shaking his head, “You’re insane, Blitz, but I love it.” He commented, grinning wildly. He pulled on his coat and hat, walking with her.

[mommarowan]

"Yes!" Rowan screamed, quickly linking arms with the lad and rushing out of their room. Quickly she grabbed her jacket and hat before tossing his towards him. "This is going to be great, seriously, fantastic."

I… Fine, you’re such a bad influence on me.

[mommarowan]

She was only sixteen when she left home. She hates me, I know she does and I feel so bad. I know I wasn't the traditional Betty Crocker mother and she was born in the prison but it's not my fault. I was messed up when I was younger and never allowed myself to really be in touch with my feelings. And now, since she's never home, I just want her to have good times, none of the bad, I haven't even told her her father's dead. She has no idea, she thinks he's been away for three fucking months and I'm just such a terrible fucking mother don't try telling me differently!

Yeah, I can buy scratch tickets, and claim lottery money, too. I’m sure she didn’t want to move out, it was probably one of those I’m an adult now let me soar away like a big bird or some sad inspirational shit like that. Like, people grow up, or whatever, get older and they just have to be on their own, doesn’t mean you can’t still take care of her, just give her money for groceries or something. Hey, hey, you’re not a bad mom, I’m sure you were a great mom, you just got into some bad stuff, that’s all.

[mommarowan]

Oh come on, Red. The entire world is filled with danger.

Rowboat, we can’t just go outside. It’s still really dangerous out there. 

[mommarowan]

Oh, you're ninteen? God, how time flys. Madelyn is turning nineteen soon, I think. I don't know. I just- I wish she never moved out. Things were rough at home but I never meant for it to go so badly. All I wanted to do was take care of her and she just, s-she didn't want to stay with me anymore. I am a terrible mother, such a bad mom. I just keep trying and it's never, ever right.

I don’t know you’re not acting like you want to chop my head off or sell my organs in the black market… I’m actually nineteen now, which makes me an adult, but yeah… I guess I’m pretty cool.

[mommarowan]

I'm perfectly fine, maybe a bit tipsy but that's all! Exactly, plus you're a very lovely young man and you're growing up to be such a great kid! Give yourself more credit!

Are… Are you okay, Mrs Blitz? Have you been drinking? But I guess it shouldn’t be surprising since I am her favourite son.

[mommarowan]

I just want to get out of here, how about you and I hit the town, fuck the rules, I think the tornado passed, lets go sight seeing?

You think of dying, I’m thinking about getting drunk by just breathing. So much easier than taking back a shot. 

[mommarowan]

Oh come on Benji, you're a lovely boy. Why wouldn't she believe me? I mean, every year when I see her she's just beaming with nothing but love and appreciation for her beautiful baby boy.

You say that like I’m not a sweet young gentleman… Besides if you say that she’d probably laugh in your face and say you’ve got the wrong kid, that she produced the son of Satan or something. It’s better not to bring it up.

[mommarowan]

Oh please, this year when I see her at the New Years party I'll tell your mother all about how sober you were and what a sweet young gentleman you were.

You won’t tell my mom, right?

[mommarowan]

Aren't you afraid that we're going to like die just breathing in these toxins?

That, Rowan, is the best part.