amphetamine-hearts - Tumblr blog

[amphetamine-hearts]

Why is the only fucking thing that's able to calm shit down even a fucking little putting my shit on the back burner cause its "not as important" as the person I care about's issues......

[amphetamine-hearts]

I hate being aware of when I am bad... I am aware yet unable to fucking do anything in the fucking moment to stop and rationalize and actually fucking think... instead it ends like this......

[amphetamine-hearts]

Fucking stupid... just making shit worse... just a selfish fucking piece of shit is all i am... don't deserve you..... at all...

[amphetamine-hearts]

How do you stop masking your feelings and emotions when you talk to your therapist? how do you stop seeming like you are ok and mostly normal when on the inside you feel like a fucking caged possibly rabid raccoon? I only mention that I want to hurt my moms ex emotionally some... but that hardly covers the surface of my issues...I feel like I need a plan to actually try and start tackling the more deep set issues but I don't even know where to begin...

[amphetamine-hearts]

[amphetamine-hearts]

I love you and I hate how much I love you... No wonder those thoughts hurt so much....

[amphetamine-hearts]

I wish I would stop falling for people that won't/don't love me back....

[amphetamine-hearts]

01.16.21

im really really trying

[amphetamine-hearts]

[amphetamine-hearts]

[amphetamine-hearts]

[amphetamine-hearts]

I think I’m getting better and then everything gets bad again. 

[amphetamine-hearts]

yes my feelings are valid but i don't want them

[amphetamine-hearts]

Will it ever get better?

[amphetamine-hearts]

And others...

“I am a danger to myself if I get angry.”

— Oriana Fallaci - https://goo.gl/fr2veR

[amphetamine-hearts]

[amphetamine-hearts]

I don't think you understand how messed up things can get in my mind