momo1492 - Tumblr blog

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Here I go again - Music Video from Mollie Propheter on Vimeo.

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Taylor & Conner Short Video - Large 540p from Mollie Propheter on Vimeo.

Short Wedding Trailer for Taylor & Conner.

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Lambert Wedding Trailer from Mollie Propheter on Vimeo.

Tonya & Tim Wedding Trailer

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Oh look! (;

Bid day

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Tau ritual is so beautiful <3

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When God Throws the Eggs....

Today I got a message from someone who I thought I would never hear from again. During the summer, a former friend and confidant took me for granted. I called her out on a couple things that she needed to work on, and she blew it out of proportion, accusing me of the most ridiculous things. One of our mutual friends contacted me today and said, "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, Mollie. Although you may not have gone about the situation in the best way, I understand why you did what you did." I have been praying for a long time to be able to let go of that pain and hurt that this individual inflicted on me. It's very difficult when you care about someone to the point where you go out of your way and put as much effort as humanly possible into the friendship. After I stepped away, I realized how irrational and unreasonable she was and how much I was missing by letting her drag me down. God, once again you threw the eggs for me. Thank you for the small things in life, and I'm sorry if I have ever taken that for granted. Thank God for family and my close friends who are practically family. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you, and deep down, I am beyond happy that you have stuck by me and chose to stay by me no matter what I go through.

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College Stereotypes from Mollie Propheter on Vimeo.

This is a project created for Media Management Class. Based on the most common stereotypes one would see in a college classroom. This is a creative fiction piece.

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Adult Life

It's getting closer now. Only 7 weeks, and my life changes forever. I decide where I'm working, where I'm living, and I'll be supporting myself. I'll have bills to pay, work to do, and a more adult relationship to look forward to with my boyfriend. But I'm scared. I'm scared of growing up. I am excited for this new chapter, but I don't even know the first step I'm going to take. That terrifies me. What if I mess up? I mean, that's just to be expected. I'm going to push forward and make this new life the norm. I have to. This is being an adult

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I love my sorority 😍 AST FOR LIFE

Bid Day

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This song goes with my blog post ;)

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Thought of the Day: Jealousy

Maybe I'm weird or something, but I have never understood the emotion of Jealousy. I've expressed this to some of my friends, and they are like, "You're a woman, how can you NOT experience it?" The thing is, I never said I didn't experience it, just that I don't understand it.

Why?

Well, for one, I don't understand it in relationships. Why do women feel so threatened by other women, or feel jealous of a boyfriend or spouse's co-worker or female friends? Aren't relationships supposed to be built on honesty and trust? At least, that's what I grew up believing. If you are in a relationship, you HAVE the guy, he is COMMITTED to you, and you have laid CLAIM on your man. So why feel threatened if he is friendly with another woman? What do you expect him to do, be rigid and hostile? I personally believe that it isn't wrong to have friends of the opposite sex, but at the same time, make sure if you ARE in a relationship, that people KNOW you are in a relationship, so you don't stumble and make the mistake I did.

There was this guy I worked with. Yeah, he reminded me somewhat of an ex, but I chose to look past that and get to know him. We would hang out at games, sit next to each other, maybe flirt a little and goof off. Not ONCE did this guy say he was in a relationship. In fact, he alluded the opposite....that he liked me, or at least, that was the hint I was getting. Tonight, I was out with all my co-workers, and it was nearing the end of the night and I waved at him, and noticed a platinum blonde girl sitting next to him....and glaring at me....

It wasn't until I asked another friend who the girl was (because I knew she didn't work with us) and he told me it was the guy's girlfriend that a red flag went up.

Guys, WHEN did it become okay to flirt with women and allude to the fact that you're available, and then act like a completely different person when you're in front of the woman you're "with"? Is that why women are so jealous all the time? Is that why there is a lack of trust in relationships now-a-days?

I don't know, but I got to thinking, and it really made me think just on this feeling in general. I'm going to end this post with the definition, and if anyone decides to respond, be sure to re-blog me! <3

Jealousy

~An emotion, and the word typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something of great personal value, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust.~

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Thought of the Day: Introduction

So, I decided that in order to make this blog worth following, I'm going to make a "thought of the day" section. That could include something I've been thinking about all day, something I saw in public or in the news, or maybe an excerpt from a conversation I've had with someone. I know so far, I have only had some rants when I'm angry (sorry, I try to keep that to a minimum), some #diary posts, and then some funny and sorority re-bloggable posts.

This is going to be one of the many things I'm starting to do, just to re-vamp this blog a little bit.

Hope you enjoy my thoughts!

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Man I feel really bad for the Tumblr Staff because I bet they aimed for Tumblr to be a cool, suavé, photographic place for artists but in reality it’s made up of hormonal teenagers who obsess over gay fictional characters, and can’t even handle the reblog button turning green to teal

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Trimming the Trees, Pruning the Bushes

The other night I was talking to a mutual friend about the recent events of the past few days. We were discussing how a disagreement about the concert could've escalated into something so disgustingly huge to the point where I decided to drop the friendship. During the conversation, she asks me, "Did you insult her by saying she was Fat and Poor?"

I had to blink a couple times and put my phone down before I could answer. The question was so ludicrous that it took me by surprise. After a few minutes, I responded. 

"I said, and I quote: I am on a diet, and you haven't supported me. When we go on longer walks, you complain and you bring over junk food and eat it in front of me in my bedroom, and then leave the trash, and I get yelled at the next day for having a mcdonalds, taco bell or some other kind of fast food bag in my trash. You know it tempts me and makes me feel deprived, and it's completely insulting when you want to go out and get a whole second meal after my mom slaves away at the stove and makes dinner for us. When we go out, I would prefer to do something fun that doesn't involve food and is supportive of what I am trying to achieve."

Maybe I'm stupid or something, but the last time I checked, that wasn't calling her fat. I didn't care then, and I didn't care now what she ate and when she ate. I just asked that she don't eat extra food, especially fast food in front of me, especially after my mom made us an amazing meal. That's insulting to my family, and insulting to me.

I also said, "We all have priorities. You chose to use your money for a tattoo, and you have bills to pay. That's fine. I'm upset because you didn't communicate with us about not wanting to go to the concert."

I found out then (and I suspected this is the case) that she is going around and telling people that it was put in a completely different context. Since when was it my fault that she perceived something I said differently then how it was intended? Obviously that's not my fault.

I'm the type of person who wants to help the world. When people tell me their insecurities, and then consistently talk about them to me, or complain every time I see them, I want to help them rectify that. When they do nothing to help themselves, I get frustrated. Especially if I care about them enough to lay my life down for them. Then, trying to justify her actions by saying that she says stuff like that in front of everybody? No. That's not acceptable to me. She was aware that my family could hear her talking because the walls were thin, and her voice was loud and it carried throughout the house. My mom would inform me that they would be sitting in the kitchen and could hear everything she was saying. Every word and every detail. My mom would explain to me that she despised the "sailor mouth" and wished that I would find friends who had bigger aspirations for their lives, and didn't sit there and talk trash about their friends when they were mad at them and weren't available for her.

I should've listened the first time, 2 years ago when we had a fight that destroyed our friendship the first time along. When I saw how she put whatever guys she was with above anyone else, and how she clearly didn't care about what she said, and when she said it. I de-friended her the first time because she was selfish and self-centered, and when I contacted her again, my friend "J" who worked with her at Starbucks would tell me that she was an awful friend and she would constantly tell embarrassing stories about me, or talk shit about me behind my back. Why didn't I listen to J, and let this girl back into my life and trust her? Why do I constantly give people second chances when they walk all over me and drive me into the ground and make me feel like a big pile of shit? Now I'm being looked at as the bad guy. I did something wrong AGAIN, and now I'm being punished. Story of my life, right?

Good thing I got that toxic friendship out of my life. I don't need people like her dragging me into the abyss of her problems. I'm spreading my wings and preparing to fly, making the leap into the new chapter of my life. It's a repeat of everything that happened with "R" last year, and honestly, I'm better off.

Forget you, G. You don't know what you're missing. I was a better friend then you deserved. Have a great rest of your life, and tell all the stories about my past that you want, because honestly? I'm going to make something of myself. You will feel foolish for ever stabbing me in the back.

Karma is a bitch, sweetie. And some day, you will get yours....and I will have a front row seat. :)

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Mistakes

You know, you think you have good friends, so you come home one last summer to be with them, go out of your way to make them feel warm and welcome, and when one little thing goes wrong, all hell breaks loose.

You describe your feelings and how hurt you are when they tear you down and they block you on Facebook, and block your cell phone number, sending you the unspoken message of, “I’m right, your wrong. You hurt me by saying what was on your mind, and until you can see the error of your ways, you’re not in my life.”

I have 7 weeks until I go back to school, and my supposed best friend is taking one of those weeks to hold a petty grudge over what? THE FACT SHE THINKS IM MAD AT HER FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO GO TO A CONCERT THAT IM NOT EVEN GOING TO ANYMORE.

I could air out her dirty laundry like she did to me. I could stoop to her level and be malicious and mean and go to my other friends and tell them every single secret she’s ever told me and air it out on cyberspace. I could have her sit down with me and my parents and talk about the mistakes she made in the past and then have her look them in the eye, knowing that she had been knocked down a few pegs.

Today, I was talking to my mom about this entire thing, and she reminded me of something incredibly important: “If she was truly your friend, Mollie, she would take the time to listen to your feelings, let you apologize for letting your temper fly, and would not make you feel worse about yourself then you already do. If she was truly your friend, she would support you and not tempt you into junk food when you’re trying to diet. If she was truly your friend, she wouldn’t go to the extreme lengths to block you out of her life and make everything on her terms. That’s not being a true, self-less friend. That’s being selfish, and if you walk away, she’ll once again realize what she lost.”

Maybe I should start taking my mom’s advice and walk away once and for all. If there is someone who has a lot to think about, it’s me. I’m not a therapist. I’m not a punching bag. I’m a human being with feelings, and friends are not there to listen and solve your problems. Friends are there to celebrate the good times and be your support system during the bad times.

I’m done with drama. I’m done with being here. It’s time for me to move on, and if that means I push that friendship aside, then that’s what I have to do. This chapter is closing, and a new one is beginning. Time for me to open my eyes and realize that and listen to what people are saying and stop being her doormat. It’s time to spread my wings and fly.

Thank God I still have Chris, Nicole, Jen and Matt.

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I woke up this morning feeling awful. My eyes were still puffy, my body lethargic and my voice hoarse from crying. I thought this pain would go away, but it has only intensified. What did I do wrong, and why do I feel guilty for standing my ground? Why is it that everytime I try to do something to benefit myself, I only get hurt? I hate this, I really do.

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Fool

What did I do wrong in life that makes me go through this heartbreak over and over again? Why do I keep opening my heart up to people and think that if I trust them, and would lay down my life for them that they wouldn't hurt me? I get down on my knees and I cry and plead and constantly ask God why I am hurt over and over and over again, but I still let people crush my heart into a million pieces? Why do misunderstandings blow up and turn into something more than it really needs to be? Why doesn't it stay between the people that the problem is between, and why does it have to stem to everyone else when it has nothing to do with them? I wasn't mad about the fact she didn't want to go to the concert. To be honest, I didn't care. I was upset because of the fact that there was no thought process when it came to saying she didn't want to go. Honesty goes so far with me. All I want is honesty and straightforwardness. I feel like I have to constantly ask for that, and then it means nothing to me. If I was told, when I brought up the idea that the particular band that me and another mutual friend were wanting to see was not her cup of tea, I wouldn't have pressed forward with it. A "maybe. We'll see if I have the money for the ticket when it gets closer. It sounds fun." Sounds closer to a commitment. Not having money because bills need to be paid is one thing. But going out, buying a tattoo, then saying, "I got a tattoo so I don't have money for the ticket. Besides, I don't like that band." Hurts me. I would rather not get hyped up and excited for two months, and then told at the last minute that she doesn't want to go. I would rather know from the beginning. Then, so much is bottled up. The last time I was at her house, she told her family a story about me at Millikin when I said something I was ashamed of. She laughed and called me an idiot. I was so embarrassed, but laughed it off because I didn't know what else to do. I'm pretty sure the way they saw me was knocked down a few pegs, and I wanted to curl up and disappear. I couldn't even look her parents in the eyes. Then, when we were in the car, I didn't hear her say something, or I thought she said something else because the music was so loud, I could barely hear myself think. I repeated what I thought I heard, and I was instantly made the butt of the joke. By her and other friends in the car. I wonder if I'm really seen for who I am or just the dunce that is made fun of so that they feel better about themselves. Sometimes I wonder if people realize that I'm human and I have feelings too. Then there's the lack of support. I've been trying so hard to lose weight. I've expressed how being around junk food makes it difficult for me to stay on my diet, and makes me feel deprived. Like I'm missing out on so much. All I hear is complaints when I want to get out and walk longer distances. And then when she talks about her insecurities, and how much they match their own, my inner persona of "I want to help everyone. I want it all to be okay" comes out, and then when she does nothing to help herself, it frustrates me, because I want to help my best friend get over her insecurities too. Maybe my problem is that I care too much. Maybe I value life and love and friendships to the point where it's hopeless, and I should just let go and stop trying. My problem is that I love and care deeply. I do so much for those I love, that my heart is torn out of my chest more times then I can count. So here we are today. I let my temper get the best of me, and I'm hurt and bawling my eyes out. I don't even know what to do with myself at this point. Maybe, just maybe, I should accept I'm a fool. A fool that cares deeply and loves too much. God...what should I do? Help me, I'm desperate. I just want to be loved as much as I love. Knowing that someone I care for with all my heart blocked me, is like a punch to the stomach. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm broken.