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monchouliz · 4 months

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Thursday January 4, 2024

It's been a year since I wrote here lol, I'm growing lazier day by day. All I want to do is lay in bed and play games or sleep. A lot of things happened but none really had an impact. 2023 was the worst, I'm glad it was finally over. I can't even recall what exactly happened in that year. It was so forgettable. Full of pains or rather just nothingness. The day after Christmas and Christmas was quite fun, we played games with my cousins so we were loud. I received a total of 2,800 this Christmas. I spent half of it already...

This New Year celebration was really fun as well, I sang my heart out until my throat was dry and hurting. That damned karaoke is rigged, I mostly got low scores, my highest is 99. It sucks, I could've won the money if my score was a perfect 100 but the world decided that my luck this 2024 sucks. I still got a little amount of money tho, I'm still grateful for it. It's quite upsetting that we didn't celebrate it on the literal January 1 tho, We just slept the whole day... My uncle told me he'll bring me some fries but he never came here.

Time flies so fast, can you believe I'm already turning 16 this year? I don't want to grow old yet. I used to want to grow old and go work but now that I'm feeling a little old, it highkey sucks. I went to school today, Our school started on January 3rd but my stomach was hurting and I felt lazy so I didn't attend school. You know, My mom was waking me up today and she told me I even stood up but then went back to bed. I had no recollection of that moment, It feels like I'm slowly turning into that pandemic lindsey again. It sucks. I feel like I've given up. I want to change myself, I want to eat a lot and gain weight and do so much things for myself but I cant. I really wish I can.

School was pretty much the same, It was kind of fun tho. I couldn't connect to the school's wifi so it was boring. My only source of entertainment was the main characters are infuriating but they're fun, So I kept on reading it anyways. We had two quizzes today, I missed one since I was late. I'll take it tomorrow. The other quiz was hard. Don't judge me for this but, I cheated. Well, everyone in that classroom did. It was funny. Science Quizzes was the only time out classmates actually become one. That's the only time we don't dislike each other. I think our science teacher knows we're cheating, I mean why else will he come out of the classroom during quiz time, no? I think he's giving us time. He's eyeing some people too, If he can't tell we were cheating then he's dumb as hell. It was so obvious.

Our first quarter cards will be released tomorrow, I'm fucked. I don't think I'm in the honours, I want to be tho. I want to prove myself wrong and laugh at my scores and think "holy shit, I actually got in." but I don't think it's possible, I guess I'm being a little pessimistic and I'm actually gonna jinx it and get some low grades but I hope not. I mean I know what my grade is in 3 subjects, my score is disappointing but it was expected. What I didn't expect was me getting an 87 in English. Not that I'm bragging but literally the girl who kept asking me questions in quizzes and lectures, and the same girl who writes shit sentences and is always grammatically incorrect scored 91. I am so pissed. Maybe its because I have some missing assignments and incomplete attendance.. but still...

TBH, that's the only part where I got disappointed like hell. I realized how bad I'm treating myself. But you know, I think I've gotten numb again. I want to cry but I don't feel anything at all. I'm seriously chill about this. It's fucking disappointing that I'm not feeling anything, because that means I gave up on life. But I don't want to. And I can't help but feel disappointed for not feeling anything, anything at all. Like excitement, nervousness etc. I think I'm just tired of this. I don't want to study.

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monchouliz · 5 months

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Thursday December 7, 2023

Believe me, I was seriously about to write an entry on the 5th but got distracted and didn't realize it was already 3 something or 4 maybe so I just slept it out. I got lazy but I had a valid excuse, I was really tired. I even forgot what happened in these past few days. My head was hurting a lot too, I got soo dizzy often it was kind of frustrating, I even did something so embarrassing because of my dizziness that it made me want to kill myself.

Like I said I don't really remember what exactly happened so I'll just tell you what I remember. No specific dates though. Lol wait, I think I remember now. I scrolled through my gallery and saw the pictures with the dates so... I'll start with tuesday. Nothing really happened except we practiced and I slept inside the dance room, it was cold so it's nice. I thin I actually fell asleep or I was about to drift away when my damned bladder couldn't hold it in so I had to get up from my comfortable position to go piss, even met sir when I was about to go to the bathroom. He asked what we were doing, told him we were sleeping lmao. It was so awkward. Wait... what the fuck. I just had a realization, Ok so I think that didn't happen on Tuesday but instead happened on Monday, because I suddenly looked at my wallet log and realized that theres no classes yesterday so our performance was on Tuesday lmao. Fuck me, Im so sorry. See? I told you my headache was so bad it made me confuse reality. Well So yeah that's what happened on Monday.

Tuesday, it was a big day. I spent a total of 120 that day fuck me. It was a 50/50 situation for me, I was both sad and happy. On the mornings I felt fucking exhausted and I was constantly thinking of depressing things— just like how it is everyday, what the fuck is new. Shaina fucking annoyed me so much too, she won't just leave me alone she was annoying like hell. Of course I wouldn't talk back to her, I don't want to cause a fight ++ It would make me look fucking pathetic because that was only supposed to be a "joke". So yeah we performed the line dance, It was so hot, the sun was angry and glared at us. I felt like I was a marshmallow getting roasted. It was so embarrassing, I was like doing a lot of mistake it was both funny and embarrassing. If I was like on the back I wouldn't really mind but no— I was next to the person in front, basically the second one in line. The girl infront of me was short too, that made my mistakes so much more noticable it made me want to off myself. Well, after that we got ready for the opening. It was funny, I did my makeup there, which is very embarrassing but, I told myself I shouldn't give a fuck about them and did my make up. It was refreshing. We took lots of pictures but that damn bitch still won't send it so annoying. Yeah so I thought I looked fine myself, not that ugly but also not that pretty. Still, at least I looked decent to look at. It was funny performing that, It was sooo hot when we were waiting and then when it was out time, our performance was a mess! Kristina made soo many mistakes, Thank God I was behind someone tall (Not at all I'm so angry, at least let me be seen like wtf I'm being covered.. Fuck Sir jeff, he can fuck off) It was so funny I laughed when performing, she was such a mood booster, yeah I don't think Sir was having fun tho. he was definitely angry, too bad I didn't look at his expression. Well after that we just stayed in the dance room exhausted and laughing. Fast forward, I went to the booth with Tina, Sam and their cheerleader teams. It wasn't fun at all so I had to back out I was feeling out of place, So I hurried back to dance room and found jhamire and Alexis. They asked me if I wanted to join them so I did, I told them to wait a bit because my stomach hurts (I bought a 30php red tea and ran on the way there). And then jhamire told me "tumakbo ka siguro" I replied, "Oo, ang daming lalaki e" I think he said something like "feeling" or something I forgot, then I told him that "Ano? kahit pangit naman nababastos ng mga lalaki ah" and then he replied "Sinabi ko bang pangit ka?" WELL he didn't say it but he was implying like I wasn't even that attractive for guys to hit on me and become assholes because I was ugly. Does he think I'm pretty or what? I don't know, it made me upset. But anyways we went there and Alexis and I had to go back in the dance room because it was so hot and crowded and jhamire was talking with his other friends so.. And then I waited for a moment and went home. By the way I chose to do the long ride, It would take too much time to wait for jeeps so I had to. When I was getting on it was still moving a bit so I fucking slipped, that damned driver. Thank goodness a kind lady grabbed my hands and helped me get on, fuck the driver seriously it was so fucking embarrassing. I bought chicken skin btw, so yummy.

Nothing happened on Wednesday, I literally just chilled and lazed around. Now Thursday, today, I finally cleaned my room. I spent the whole fucking day cleaning it and having mental break downs in between I wanted to like destroy everything in my sight I was so pissed. Gtg, I'm going to piss lol and take a shower I'm like so nasty right now and I smell bad.

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monchouliz · 5 months

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Tuesday November 28, 2023

Sorry. I had no excuse this time, I was just lazy. It's been a week and two days, I am going crazy. Nothing worth remembering or mentioning happened these past few days, it was all just something. I had no motivation all those days, and when I thought I finally had some I FUCKING GOT MY PERIOD! It was fucking revolting. I was supposed to do a lot this sunday and monday.

Monday December 4, 2023

Edited: Above was a draft. Hello, it's been two weeks i believe. I totally have no excuses, I was just being lazy. I mean there was nothing worth writing except me slowly turning into that depressed girl I was during pandemic. I have no idea what I'm getting sad and depressed for, I just know my temper's getting shorter day by day and I just want everyone to fucking leave me alone. I don't even want to walk nor do some shits anymore, it's revolting. I just want to lay in anything bed, couch, whatever thing that doesn't require me to move. I just want to scroll on my phone all day— which is boring me already. I want to die. Everything is so repetitive, not that I'm blaming anyone for it, it's totally my fault that I have no friends to hang out with. And I have no fucking money, I need new outfits it's killing me. Well, since I'm here anyways might as well tell you what happened that two whole weeks (that is worth writing) and what infuriates me.

First, We had our Science test. It was so hard I failed obviously, and then I left my calculator on the lab. Fuck me. Thank God it was still there, but the case got stolen fuck. Second, after finishing science we hurriedly ran to the faculty to meet our Fil teacher to say some speech, I think I did well. Third, we had a meeting regarding SPA gen ass. It was ass, literally. I'm in trails, meaning I have to move and do some sports— which sucks, because I literally suck at sports. I'll be a burden. Third, Shania, Tina, and Mon called me cute. It was flattering but then I saw a tiktok just now saying "if you are called 'cute', you're average looking. just a little higher on the ugly side". fucking hell. Fourth, I am currently stressing on what the fuck should I do. I want to do a LOOOT but I can't move and now I'm stuck writing this. I want to do a lot of things but my body isn't cooperating at all, I'm stressing in my brain but my body's relaxed and calm as fuck. I forgot what you call that. I have sooo much things to stress about but I ended up doing nothing. fuck me.

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monchouliz · 5 months

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Sunday November 19, 2023

It's been a week since I wrote here, I'm sorry... I was really busy more like tired so I had no time to write. Actually I had plenty of time during the nights, I kept on reminding myself to write one "later" but, my body kept giving up. This week is full of events, it's intrams after all. That's the reason why my life has been cheery lately, I think my social battery can't keep up with it that's why I've been feeling tired and sad the whole time. (I acted fine with people dont worry) Like I said on my previous entries, I met lots of temporary friends, Line dance was really fun! (hated the heat and constant moving though)

Monday wasn't eventful, it was the usual practice day, the sun was very mad at us I think, it burned and shined so bright in that specific day, it was upsetting. Maybe it's because it's Monday? It's always hot on Mondays. It was still fun nonetheless, I don't really remember what happened but, I think we talked a lot in that day (Joanna and the other rbec(?) girls). I think that's the day where we all went to the bathroom together, I think it's heartwarming that they accompanied me to the bathroom even though we're not that close, we're practically strangers who just talks because we're doing something in common. Tuesday, was on another level of hotness, it was so hot I thought I'll pass out. We were half day that time so I didn't have to suffer that much. I didn't go to school on Wednesday, I was tired and they did nothing anyways, So I just lazed around the whole day watching or reading stuffs.

In those two days, I've learned to love literature. Well, I've always love literature so I guess I worded it wrong, it's more like I "tried" to do literature. After being such a coward and trying to copy others, I finally gathered the courage to make something that I thought of, without looking at others work. I've always envied people who write such magnificent things effortlessly, It's like words just suddenly come to them like pieces and they make a puzzle out of it. It makes me wonder how the hell do they come up with that. I think a lot but when it's time to write what I thought I just go blank, I wish I was as creative as those people. Its crazy how they can think and make a poem or a prose with just one word as a prompt, I could never, (I'm however willing to try, just scared I'll mess up and disappoint myself even more.)

There's one prose I wrote that I deeply loved It's beginner level but, I love it so much anyways. Which is rare because I don't usually love something that I make unless it's really really good. I asked Chatgpt to give me a prompt so I could base my prose to that, the prompt was: "Write a short piece about a character's encounter with a mysterious locked box in their attic. Explore their emotions, curiosity, and the decision they make regarding the box. What do they imagine might be inside, and how does the experience impact them?" At first I was thinking of writing something like a magical thing that can lead to this and that but, I remembered that simplicity that can be easily understand is better than wordy things that's hard to understand. Actually after thinking of that, a great idea rushed through my mind. So I carefully read the prompt again and it reminded me of "Pandora's box", In Pandora's box, the box was concealed and they warned Pandora not to open it because It contained all the evils of the world. And then I thought of the book "Every Last Word", "Stepmother's Marchen", "The Perks of being a Wallflower" Both the MCs have something in common which was depression, they both were struggling and kept concealing their pains a secret. Shulli and Charlie (The MC of The Perks of being a Wallflower and Stepmother's Marchen) even forgot their traumas because It was too unbearable and too gut retching. Combining all their silenced screams of terror I wrote: "As I explore the attic, a mysterious locked box appeared before my eyes. It looked beautiful, simple and... bewitching, like it was telling something— screaming to be open, to be explored— to be freed. As I walked towards it, I couldn't deny the heaviness in my heart. Why was it so hard to open a mere box, Just what does the box contains that it was difficult to touch?" Chatgpt rated it a solid 9 out of 10!! I was so proud of myself.

Thursday, D-Day of Line dance. I made a mistake when performing thank God It wasn't that noticable. Guess what? We won!! 10 AM are the Champs, including in Volleyball and the teacher's performance as well. It was exhausting yet fun that day, again it was hot of course nothing new. The annoying part was we had to wait for like an hour before performing because the teachers performed first! Our makeups were getting fading due to the heat.. Nonetheless we still won so??? I was very proud of us! Hard work paid off, literally. I guess miss principal thought our performance was so good that she wants us to perform it again on December 5, I wonder why and what's the event that day... Anyway, after the performance I hanged out with Joana, she's so fun to be with (had to adjust my humor tho) we went bought foods together and then sadly parted ways, tho our encounter was short it was still fun. I actually made a mistake, A girl was taking selfies and then I joined in, turns out that girl was Joanas enemy lmao.... That girl was her bf's ex and she shit talked her... I was sooo guilty! Anyways thank God I'm still on Joana's good side lol. After that nothing interesting really happened, saw Czandrei and I pretended I don't know him because why not. Then I went home. Our teacher wanted us to print the consent for the fun run, it was already night time so I had no choice but to ask him. So I did, very awkward nothing "romantic" happened. I wish my family would stop pushing "that" to us, it's not really romantic anymore, just realized his face really isn't my type. he's just not my type in every category ngl.

Friday was the worst out of them all, I had to wake up at 3 something and then we had to be there at like 4 since you know zumba. We got late, it was fine didn't want to dance anyway, they almost started the funrun when we arrived, they were readying their selves. Had to rush and run at the second floor to put my bag. We took some lovely selfies. And then when it started we ran, it was so exhausting!! not even in the GSIS gate and I'm tired already... And then we kept switching to running and walking until we reached the bridge and eventually gave up. we were at almost 4k.km(?) and then turned around and gave up lol. that's basically everything, nothing interesting happened afterwards. Fun run should've been named Fun walk instead lmao.

Saturday as usual nothing happened, just lazed around since I'm so tired. (Fuck, my fingers are starting to hurt as I write this!!!) Sunday, which is today, I attended church, finally after 2 days of not attending. (I think) The topic was about Eternal death and Eternal life, bible school was about the spiritual gifts (I think it was giving and mercy idk I forgot), wasn't really listening to bible school since I was busy finding out what my spiritual gift is. Turns out it's the spiritual gift of discernment, had my dibs on it ngl so I expected it. Though when I went home, I started doubting things again. (Fuck Satan) I doubted if I actually had the gift of discernment, maybe my intuition is just really good and maybe I'm just very keen to observation. I honestly still am not sure if it's a spiritual gift I have or I'm just fooling myself into thinking that's my gift and I seriously don't have any gift at all. And then Mom asked me if I believe in God yet, I said No, because I actually still don't, 50/50 actually. I do want to believe but I'm still doubting it. (my fingers hurt...) And then she started lecturing me. In my mind, I suddenly thought of kuya gem's question "Do you think anyone can teach the bible?" In my opinion, No. You can't. Sad but seriously you can't. Teaching the bible when it isn't your specialty or your gift would just potentially drive the the person you are supposed to be "teaching" insane especially if you don't do it correctly. That's because the stuffs in the bible are just batshit insane, if you try explaining it but failed to do, it would just make that person distant themself from God more (from personal experience). You would literally do the opposite thing that you were supposed to do.

Going back to the topic, how was I supposed to believe in God when he's the one who's causing me pain? What mom said was true, I get it. But God was supposed to be there for me and guide me and love me. How can I believe in him when he failed to save the people I love a lot of times now? Or maybe he intentionally let them die just like that, still I believed in him and he let me down... I do not blame him, I guess that was for the better but you also cant blame me for this, I'm sure lots of people feel like this too. I doubt him a lot but, is that my fault? The people around me are so overly religious it makes me sick, it made me think of him as something that just "exist" because people need him to, because he's their last resort. The people who are supposed to be "believers" are making his name bad, they're a bunch of hypocrite who worship him but do something wrong afterwards, and then you'll tell me they're more likely to go to heaven because they have faith and that they believe in him than the people who were very kind and did nothing but love and get hurt but do not believe in him. Will I go to hell for doubting him? For questioning him and his decisions? For pitying people whose life were predestined to be like that? i have a lot of questions... I would ask them but I doubt even the greatest christian teacher can answer them properly.. Am I being onesided?? Maybe but, I have enough reasons for that... I would like to believe un him too trust me, but he's just surrounded with people who are the opposite of him it's sickening and gut retching.

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monchouliz · 6 months

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Monday November 13, 2023

How many days has it been since I neglected this diary? To be fair I was really trying hard to be consistent, but my body gave up— it wasn't me. I was trying to stay up, I didn't even realize I slept so pardon me for that. These past few days has been really tiring me out, I'm slowly going back to 2021 Lindsey and I do not want that. That's literally why I started journaling— to squeeze out the creativity inside me and stop myself from going back to that Lindsey. Anyways, I forgot how many days I've missed but I'm guessing until Thursday last week? I forgot what happened in those days so I'll just tell you every interesting things that happened and, also some random things that I just remembered.

Thursday, nothing really out of ordinary happened, I was still practicing for line dance, it's damn exhausting. The weather was so hot and it's killing me, same thing as Friday. Though it was more interesting since I got to interact with my co-dancers there that I barely knew, I even gathered the courage to ask them if they have IG— they didn't have one.. Should've known, not that I'm judging them and I'm saying it's a bad thing but they were obviously what people call "jejemon". So they only have Facebooks, I had someone give me their facebook though, her name's Joana, she's also "jejemon" though more quiet?? She have a boyfriend I think, because that damned drummer guy kept on interrupting whenever I was about to talk to her, not that it's a bad thing but still it was kind of upsetting.

Had to come home at 6 after that since Maxine and I had to film for our TLE subject which is "how to install an app". It was frustrating!! The computer was malfunctioning or was it just that outdated?? It had no Microsoft store and you can't download things on playstore, well we did it with Adorable home but then I ended up cancelling it unintentionally... how to stupid of me. Though we ended up downloading Yandere Simulator!!! We didn't get to play though, the computer literally died after it downloaded, we had no choice but to let it go.. It was basically telling us to scram and that it was time to leave.

Forgot to add but line dance was kind of fun (only when we practiced in the court), Had lots of laughs because of the girls infront and behind me. They were really funny, It was fun watching them and I mess up. Have I told you that I'm quite literally broke again? Yup. How annoying, no? I literally didn't eat lunch for like two days(?) and then my money just vanished just like that....

Oh and... yes I'm going back to my "old ways", it's really frustrating. I thought I stopped. I couldn't. I hope I stop.

(This is an edit)

I literally forgot to write that I went to SM alone, it was on thursday me thinks. I was so tired of going back and forth because I couldn't find National bookstore, I ended up finding miniso first!! turns out National bookstore was on the ground floor! I couldn't find the second floor though? I remembered it having a second floor, I almost went in the staff room it was sooooo embarrassing I wanted to kill myself on the spot. National Bookstore was boring, it had no good books except Jujutsu Kaisen, the cover with Gojo was gone though guessing it went sold out. It had Pride and Prejudice too, Fyodor Dostoevsky, (i think) and Sherlock Holmes. I was looking for the Bell Jar, sadly they weren't selling it (they had Colleen Hoovers though ew)

MY PHONE ALMOST WENT MISSING! this happened on Friday, I was so scared, Thank God kristoff grabbed it. life saver for reals.

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monchouliz · 6 months

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Wednesday November 8 2023

I'm gonna keep this short since fatigue is catching up. I went to school today, didn't do anything special except practicing for line dance. I went home early since we have no Science and Dance class. It was annoying, my hair was so dry. One of the dance steps was to lie down on the floor, very annoying. My shirt and pants was so dirty, it was so embarrassing. Watched Princess Diaries, Amelia was so me! Anne Hathaway looked so pretty. Her bestfriend Lily was such a bad friend. Had a friend like that once, would not recommend. I love the line "You should know that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent," would love to apply that to myself but I'm such an insecure girl.

I've been coughing nonstop since morning, I even puked a little. This is frustrating, I hope this torture would be gone the moment I woke up tomorrow. Gotta rest.

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monchouliz · 6 months

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Tuesday November 7, 2023

Nothing memorable happened today, just the normalcy of my life. I didn't go to school today as well, it's been 2 days. I am going tomorrow though, I'm nervous. I definitely missed a lot of things, and I don't know if I'll be able to handle the pressure and constant overthinking. The reason why I didn't go to school is the same as yesterday— as always, I got lazy. Frankly speaking, I don't think I want to study anymore. I just want to quit everything and lay down my bed all day. But that would be bad.

I saw a post saying, "I surround myself with thoughts on how people pursue me. What they think of me. And it doesn't help the fact that think I, as a whole, faking most of the thing I am." and I thought about how relatable it is. I kept thinking about this for the past few minutes, maybe my classmates are gossipping about me already. I'm extremely nervous, especially since I'm a very weak willed(?) (I forgot the word I was supposed to add) girl. I do not have enough courage to face them tomorrow, but I hope I can get through it.

I ate two burgers today. My father asked if I finished everything, and I said, "Yes, I did." I thought he looked proud because he replied, "Wow lumalakas na kumain". I thought it was not much of a big deal, it was just two burgers. Well, I guess it would be for him since he often body shame me saying that I look to skinny and stuffs, but I totally understand where he's coming.

I watched Love of Kill as I ate those burgers, It was definitely a fun series to watch, I didn't finish it tho. My blade broke, now my legs' uneven. It's so upsetting, one side is shaved while the other's isn't... I looked in shopee how much the blade cost and I wanted to cry, the voucher didn't even help make the price student friendly. And then my addiction broke in, ended up ordering three items. Good thing is, I got to buy them for like a lower price, I love vouchers. Mom would kill me if she knew but, whatever. What I bought are essential anyways.

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monchouliz · 6 months

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Monday November 6, 2023

Honestly speaking, I have no idea on how to start this entry. Since this will be my first entry here, I want to say hello. Tumblr is probably my 3rd journal/diary app that I wrote on(digitally), Let's hope I won't get lazy and become consistent since I'm hoping to change.

First, I want to write what got me here. I saw a TikTok post saying Tumblr was the best app you can rumble or vent your feelings on. I wanted to try it and so far so good, I heard you won't get tracked easily too. Well none of the people I know uses Tumblr anyways so I'm safe. I wanted to start writing again to enhance my vocabulary(english isn't my first vocabulary, you see), gain motivation, and I don't know I just got suddenly in the mood and wanted to write something.

Let's start talking about what happened today. I didn't go to school, part of it was because I couldn't get up on bed, yes I'm lazy. Second was My throat was dry and it was killing me, Lastly, I couldn't breathe properly. I don't know what's happening with my body at all, a part of me thinks I'm chronically ill(which is impossible, i think I'm just too mentally ill that I seriously want to get chronically ill so I can just die) and the other is because of my fucked up sleep schedule. I guess I was just too lazy to go to school, but hear me out, the other reason was because I haven't done any school works yet until now.. As I'm writing this, I'm laying in bed and yes, I still haven't bathe. that's how lazy I am :((

Moving on from my depressing state(no we wont), I finally watched Attack on Titan today!! It officially ended, I'm gonna miss my babies a loooot. The animation was so good! everyone did so well, especially the animators and the VAs. I love that they didn't show Jean and Mikasa ending up together lol, I'm quite sad they didn't animate the panel of Falco(I don't know if I got the kid's name right), and Gabi pushing Levi on his wheel chair, though they animated Levi giving kids candies it was so cute. I cried a bunch to the point I felt like fainting, I'm not even kidding. My head was going bonkers, I felt so dizzy. When I stood up I felt extra dizzy, I still felt dizzy even though I was sitting, and laying down. It was so heartbreakingly beautiful. Attack on Titan will forever be my favorite. I don't think any other anime can top that. They should win a Grammy for this.

After watching AOT I ate and then I ate again and decided to watch Frieren! It was honestly heartbreaking too, because Frieren's an elf and she outlived everyone she loved. It's not that sad because the show has some really good comedic relief, and Frieren's such an unserious woman, I love her. I love Fren so much too, She's so much like me. I hope this week pass by quickly to Saturday so I can watch the new episode...

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