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moneymadness9633-blog · 9 years ago

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ohhh god

Again.

He felt the shock. The strike of fear as the metal shot through his chest. The screams around as his vision flashed and he was on the ground getting crutched in his arms. The feeling of his own heat escape him, his breath became shallow as he felt himself drowning in his own blood. The soft pitter patter of tears hitting his cheek from the man above him made him look up.

“Oh god…oh god…oh god…Ritsu, l-look at me…its going to be okay…Ri-Ritsu…Please…look at me…Don’t leave me…Don’t leave me Ritsu!” Ritsu felt his own tears roll down his cheeks, his vision was escaping him as he just wanted to close his eyes, “Ritsu! Baby, stay awake…look at me…” The man wrapped his arms around the smaller male and rocked him in his chest, his sobs mixed with sirens. Ritsu couldn’t help feeling the need to close his eyes.

*I’m…sorry Takano…I…I am so tired…

———————————————

Ritsu’s eyes shot open and he sat up in bed, the pain in his chest much to real. His breath still shallow as he sat there, terrified of his surroundings. He was in his apartment, safe and sound. Then he felt the presence. He looked quickly beside him to find Takano sleeping peacefully. He stared shocked at him.

*That wasn’t just a dream…was it?

Ritsu reached up and realized his body was shaking.

*Shit, I have to calm down…

He wiped his face, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. Takano shifted and sat up with him, “You’re up too early…” He comments and leans on him, “Hey…you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

“S-Sorry if I woke you…I…h-had a bad dream…”, he wiped his eyes, trying to hide his tears, “Nothing to be all concerned about.” He laughs it off, in hopes Takano would drop it.

He did not.

“You want to talk about it?” Ritsu shakes his head, not wanting to remember something as horrible as that.

*You were so terrified…

“I’m fine, really, Takano-san.”

*You watched me die…

“You don’t sound fine…”

*I’m sorry…

Ritsu shook his head and went to say he was fine again, but when he blinked, tears rolled down his cheek, his smile altering for just a moment before he laughed at himself, “Oh god…how silly of me…it was only a dream…” He felt his face get red from holding back the tears. Takano stared, shocked as Ritsu began to cry softly and rapidly trying to wipe his tears away. Takano reached over, wrapping his arms around Onodera and bringing him in close.

The memory of the dream returned of a clutching Takano wrapping his arms around Ritsu limp body.

Ritsu stared shocked as Takano gave a comforting hug to calm his boyfriend. He felt more tears roll down his cheeks then he gave a pitiful smile before he lost it. He sucked in air as he began sobbing into his chest. Takano rubbed his chest and whispered comforting things to his lover.

“shh…its okay, Ritsu…”

Ritsu shook his head and cried rapidly, the pain in his chest was overwhelming.

*I died, Takano…

*You held me just like this…

Ritsu cried for about half a hour, all awhile Takano tried calming him.

Ritsu opened his eyes, blinking twice as he realised he had fell asleep. He stretched and sat up. Takano was not here beside him and he suspected him be someplace elsewhere.

It was only by the time Ritsu went out of the bedroom he realised that Takano was in fact in the kitchen. Takano was making something Ritsu guessed to be some kind of breakfast.

“Ohayō.”, Ritsu greeted to the taller man. Takano turned and gave a smile and returned the response. “What are you making?” “Toast, pancakes. A bowl of rice and miso soup. I also made some coffee for us. I thought you would be hungry.” He replies. Ritsu blinked, a soft blush.

“Ah! No, you didn’t have to worry that much about me. Haha!”, he laughs awkwardly.

“I wanted to because I love you, Ritsu.”, he continues cooking, not looking over at Ritsu as he says so. That saying still got to Ritsu, despite already have confessed his own love. He blushed and looked to the side.

*…

“…I…love you too…”

Masamune blinked and turned his head. Ritsu blushed and went over and wrapped his arms around his lover. He held onto him.

“Hey, are you okay?”, Takano asked with a bit of caution.

“…Just because I say I love you doesn’t mean I’m not okay…”, Ritsu replied.

“Ah…so you can say you love me openly now?”, Takano teased.

“…”, Ritsu’s arms around him grew tighter, “I don’t think I tell you enough…I’m sorry… I’m really a idiot…”

Takano’s eyes widened at Ritsu’s response. He expected the other man to burst out with some kind of excuse. But this time Ritsu was really opening up to Takano. Exposing his true feelings to Masamune.

Takano turned around and hugged Ritsu tightly, “Ah, how much I really do love you, Onodera Ritsu.” Ritsu blushed and wrapped his arms around his Takano, looking down as he leaned more into his chest.

After they ate their breakfast, they both decided they should go out. Ritsu had a odd feeling in the pit of his stomach but followed Takano around like a puppy dog. It was about 12:30 when they arrived at particular store.

Ritsu stopped and stared up at the entrance. He felt sudden terror hit his throat. “H-hey…Takano…let’s not go in there…” Ritsu acted suspiciously. “Can we go get some icecream instead?”

Takano blinked. Ritsu knew he would agree with it cause Ritsu never offered something so cute.

*I died in front of that store in my dream…

They went to a Pandaway to get two icecreams together. Then they decided to just casually walk down the sidewalk.

“I didn’t know you liked vanilla-mint.”, Takano commented, licking at his chocolate icecream.

“Ah, yes. I very much like this kind. Back when I was little, my parents would buy me these all the time.” Ritsu noted Takano trying to start conversation.

*I want to spend today with you. So ask me anything…

“Oh really? I haven’t heard much about your childhood before.” Takano sounded intrigued.

“Oh, well…I was always kind of a sickly child. Kids didn’t want to be my friend and I was always lonely. Nothing much to talk about there. Mint-vanilla icecream was one of the purer memories of my childhood.”

Takano blinked, “You were sick?”

“Ah, well, yes. A lot actually. But well that’s mainly the reason I got into reading books. I would be sick all day with nothing to do and sit in my room with books my dad had gave me. People made fun of me for being all sick all the time and being fragile, but in the end of the day I would open up a book and just forget all my troubles.” Ritsu said with a smile looking at the sidewalk as he spoke.

When Ritsu looked up, he saw Takano giving such a surprised look. “What is it?”

He shook his head, “You’re being really open today.” He commented.

“Don’t be silly. I would have told you that story any time in the past if you asked me.”, Ritsu turned hiding his blush.

“Ah, sorry. I was just taken aback by it.”, he says with a smile. “Tell me more if you want. I love hearing more about my Ritsu.”

That made Ritsu blush more. “Idiot…don’t say such things in public within people’s ear shots…”

But he was filled with happiness from Takano’s words. Takano thought, he knew that Ritsu was his and that made him really happy. Ritsu couldn’t help but actually smile.

“Ah, come on.” He continued walking, “Let’s just spend today together.”

Ritsu and Takano walked onward. They spent the whole day together, side by side, enjoying the little things. It was a really heartfelt day and Ritsu couldn’t help but feel that odd feeling.

*What is this feeling?

Takano led the way to a old book store, in which Ritsu followed in, “Ah, what are we doing here, Takano?”

Masamune turned and smile, “Well I was thinking maybe we could find old books together. The books we read back in Middle School.” Ritsu blushed, the nostalgic memories flood back to him when he was known only as Oda to this raven-hair male. He turned his head a bit, thinking about it now.

“Ah, well…I don’t really remember some of the titles to be honest…”

“That’s probably because you wasn’t reading the books because of the titles.” Takano pointed out, “You were reading them because I silently recommended them to you, isn’t that right Oda.” He winks, teasing Ritsu again.

Ritsu blushes a deep red and shakes his head, “Don’t be so full of yourself!” He pouts, turning his gaze and walking further in the store, “Let’s go find these books.” He said firmly.

*Sheesh, he still teases me reluctantly…

Ritsu skimmed the aisles of old books. None of them rung any bells in his mind, but there was still that nostalgic feeling of looking for book titles. Some of these book titles look as if they were donated, their library stickers peeled off sloppily.

*These are some old books…

He searched through the books and one blue cover caught his eye. He blinked and reached up for it, slipping it out between two other books. He stared at the old book and wiped off the cover.

*…

Takano was also browsing the book titles around when he suddenly heard Ritsu’s soft laugh. Takano, intrigued because Ritsu hardly laughed went to see what had picked up Ritsu’s emotions so suddenly.

When he went to the exact aisle Onodera was on, he couldn’t help but to be taken aback by Ritsu’s appearance.

Ritsu stood, looking over this book, a smile plastered on his face as he softly shook and tears rolled down his cheeks. He shook his head and gave small laughs.

“Ritsu…” Takano by instinct walked over to him, “Hey why are you crying?” Ritsu looked up and began crying more, breathing in a hitched breath. All he could do was hand over the book.

Takano took hold of the book, very confused at first. He looked it over. He didn’t recognize it, but it seemed old. It wasn’t until he opened it up that he stared at the book with eyes wide.

There was a small white, aged book card. The names listed were none other than Saga Masamune and below that, Oda Ritsu.

“What are the odds…” Ritsu hiccupped, unable to stop crying, lifting a hand to wipe away his own tears. “Fate is really something, isn’t it…” He laughs between his sobs.

Takano grabbed Ritsu into a tight hug, holding him in his arms. He had no idea how to respond as he was so speechless about this encounter.

They ended up buying the old book.

It wasn’t long till the day came to a end. They went to several places and decided it would be best to go on home now.

*Its been a long day…

Ritsu gave a sigh and couldn’t help but smile. Before he knew it, Takano had already noticed the smiling man.

“Why you smiling?”, Takano asked, intrigued.

“…I’m happy of course…”, Ritsu looked down still smiling, “Today was a good day.”

Ritsu was thankful today turned out great.

There was a disturbance and when Ritsu looked up, he saw a man rushing out of a store a few feet in front of them, bags in hand. When the man spotted Takano and Ritsu he held his hand up quickly, the object in his hand pointed at them.

He stared over at the man, his eyes widening. Takano stared in the distance in a similar fashion, shocked when a sound hit the air.

It happened so quickly Ritsu didn’t realize he was dying again.

Ritsu stared as the man, throwing the empty gun on the ground, fled away, in hopes of getting away from the police sirens that were already sounded in the distance. Ritsu stood there then slowly looked down and began to shake when he saw the holes in his outfit began to bleed and stain his outfit. He slowly sunk to the ground and coughed up the blood that began flooding his lungs.

This seemed all too familiar.

Takano rushed to Ritsu’s side, wrapping his arms around him, “Oh god…” Takano’s eyes started to swell up with tears, “Oh god…oh god…oh god…Ritsu, l-look at me…its going to be okay…Ri-Ritsu…Please…look at me…Don’t leave me…Don’t leave me Ritsu!” Ritsu had already heard this before…

Ritsu looked up at him slowly and gave a smile, “Don’t worry…..I’ll…see…you…again…tomorrow…” He whispered as best as he could, “I love…you…”

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