monologuesbytin-blog

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“ang mahal masaktan”

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[monologuesbytin-blog]

#clueless

I dont know the difference between loved and attached. I dont know what im feeling towards you, all i know was that I was happy. I was happy to know you and somehow be able to enter your walls or heck did i even entered your walls or nagassume lang ako. 

dati kinakapa natin ang isa’t isa,, ngayon kinakapa na ang tayo. But wait is there a tayo, is it just an imagination? Honestly, gulong gulo na ko kung san ba tayo papunta, minsan alam ko isang yapak na lang tapos na pero bakit minsan bigla na lang liliko at muling mapapalayo?  

I’ll be honest and frank na alam kung magulo ang buhay mo nung pumasok ako, you were even honest to say that I do keep you sane, and uhm I loved that. It gave me an assurance na sure I was not just an ordinary person in your life. Strangely as we untangle our stories to each other, we failed to keep each other sane. Worse,  your life is again on yet another trial and my role in your life is summoned. 

Frankly, this time I dont where to stand, I dont even know you, worse, I dont know us anymore. Im beginning to question if I’m still able to keep you sane, worse I feel like Im contributing to your misery right now. I want to say that we will fight this battle together but my mind says no, well every body actually. Pero, I dont mind I keep telling myself na, “ang unfair mo na naman kung iiwan mo siya when all he needs is a taong kakapitan niya” and na uwi na naman ako sa desisyong maghihintay na lang ako sa labas paghanda ka na thats what friends are for right?

now the real deal is eto din ba ang gusto niya?  

[monologuesbytin-blog]

BULALAKAW

noun. shooting star, comet.

Sa isang kisap mata ikaw ay masisilayan. matagal kang hihintayin pero sabi ng iba worth the wait naman. but isnt that scary. You’ll feel everything all at once? and paglipas ano na? 

Parang you’ll be left alone again, and iispin mo na naman kung kailan mo masisilayan ang minsan nang kumislap. 

[monologuesbytin-blog]

I just dont know what to do anymore, more often than not people would tell me to run away from people who make me feel like I dont matter to them anymore, but I feel like it’s just a way of showing how much pride you have in yourself, and yes you may even argue but isnt that self respect.  When we are hurt we tend to forget others and focus just on ourselves, thus we always end up choosing ourselves and assure ourselves that, “hey you made the right decision, its their lost and you deserve someone better”

I dont want to linger on the thoughts of the person’s wrong doing and constantly hate him/her, and keep on convincing  that I deserve someone better. Rather I want to think of what I did wrong, of how we have reached this point, and somehow forgive us. Forgive you and forgive myself. 

I dont want to run away, I want the hassle, and keep choosing to understand, to love and to accept. Yeah, I’ll throw that pride away, 

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i just dont matter anymore

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This is how things ended 

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uuwi na ko

SABIK NA KONG UMUWI 

YAKAPIN ANG TAHANAN

MULI AKONG TATAHAN

SA DATI KONG TAKBUHAN

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THE GAME IS OVER

IT WAS WELL PLAYED 

NOW OFF YOU GO

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Im afraid that I am just of book that you read when you’re bored when to me you are a song I’d listen to all day long 

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sana.

sana, meaning: I’ve been dreaming of it. I’ve been hoping for it. I’ve been praying for it. 

pero hindi ba nakakatakot nakakikilabot na ang katagang, sana?

minsan may dalang pangako’t pangrap na balot na balot ng pagasa’t katapangan. minsan lasing sa kabiguan at balot na balot ng pagkawarak.

sana. mabigat na salitang may kakambal na bugtong hininga.  

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hanggang dito na lang

hanggang dito na lang.

hanggang dito na lang tayo, oo hanggang dito na lang.

nauutal man ako pero hanggang dito na lang.