monstersqueen

[monstersqueen]

[monstersqueen]

[monstersqueen]

honestly with a speech starting “I have a dream,” it’s amazing anyone stuck around to hear it, those kinds of stories are the worst.

[monstersqueen]

due to inflation the answer to life the universe and everything is now 48

[monstersqueen]

S16 Round 1

Lab Partners (Jackass Edition)

Okay so A is the ostensible straight man of the duo while B is the outward chaos factory. B invents a device for time travel and responds to A's concerns with "What, like it's hard?" Eventually B gets arrested for his Science Crimes and, at the trial A stands up an appaulds??? in front of everyone. And is basically like "This is the smartest idiot I've ever met. He invented TIME TRAVEL." No one else understands where A's coming from but will allow B to continue to do wacky science but ONLY under A's supervision.

Also B canonically spends time in his lab doing his weird science with the hopes that A will walk in and swoon and/or be jealous because they're DEFINITELY Science Rivals (they aren't).

Requiem

cw: death, attempted murder, nonconsensual transformation

In life, Serenade and Wildfire were friends and rivals. Wildfire was skilled and respected, but Serenade was a genius who died young.

They meet again as spirits after dying. Serenade is broadly unchanged -- irreverent, mischievous and proud as ever -- but the same cannot be said of Wildfire. The rumours that he was behind Serenade's death corrupted his spirit, leaving him as an amalgam, partly the kind and teacherly man he was in life and partly an entity hellbent on Serenade's destruction.

The very real threat to his life means nothing to Serenade, who decides to simply pick up where they left off; teasing Wildfire, hanging around him, and generally being his irritating self. In many ways, he still understands his old friend better than anyone.

[monstersqueen]

« new! » limited edition bingpup tamagotchi!

[monstersqueen]

S16 Round 1

These Boots are Made for Walkin’

cw: spoilers

Ocean is an investigative journalist, and views Forest, a former miner who now spends his life travelling, as a valuable source for a big story. As someone more acquainted with long-distance travel, Ocean enthusiastically offers her help to Forest, and the two have fun while waiting for their flights… at least, until Forest, less of a “clueless tourist” than Ocean had assumed he would be, realizes Ocean views him as more of a "valuable source for her next big story" than as a friend. He decides he can’t trust her before departing on his flight. Still, despite Forest eventually finding a new job and a partner who he actually can trust, he does remain in touch with Ocean. The two chat about the places they each visit… and sometimes, call for help. Forest and Ocean are both magnets for trouble and regularly need to free each other from disastrous situations.

This pattern continues for years. They begin to rely on each other, but also can't stand each other. They regard each other with a mixture of respect and utter disappointment. They've never dated, but they're also somehow exes.

One day, Forest gets into trouble yet again, making a difficult choice-- one that Ocean finds unconscionable, and one that will send Forest alone down a dark path. Still, Ocean walks Forest towards his "end", reassuring him in his moment of crisis even though she knows she'll be cursing his name later. Forest knows this too, giving Ocean a souvenir from where they first met in the hopes that it will be a reminder of who he used to be. They part ways, confident that this decision will be what ultimately tears them apart… though fate ensures that this meeting will be far from their last.

partners in solving crimes (& committing fraud)

A and B are childhood best friends who are on the surface complete polar opposites. A is an ADHD-having chaotic troublemaker who lies when it’s to his advantage (or just for fun) while B is a chronic worrier who claims to just want to live by the straight and narrow and not get into trouble. However, B cannot keep himself from getting tangled up in A’s antics, and they care about each other to a somewhat worryingly codependent degree. Both of them share a level of immaturity (that B tries to hide) that allows them to bond. The most major of A’s escapades leads to him convincing the local police department that he’s psychic so he can use his remarkable observation skills to solve cases. B is dragged into this like all of A’s other hijinks and ends up finding, despite his qualms with committing fraud, the ridiculous nicknames A makes up for him 24/7, and the semi-regular life-threatening situations, that he enjoys solving cases. B’s variety of incredibly random interests (spelling, safecracking, ferroequinology, area codes…) often contribute to helping A solve whatever murder they’re working on. Never once behaving professionally, they continually outdo the police in crime solving all while bickering like a married couple 24/7.

[monstersqueen]

arcane - 2.6 | 2.9

[monstersqueen]

[monstersqueen]

I-I'm sorry but I can't stop thinking about this

[monstersqueen]

ancient greek word of the day: κακοθερής (kakotherēs), unfitted to endure summer heat

[monstersqueen]

this is basically a short horror film

[monstersqueen]

tagging is a courtesy. I've said this many times before but it bears repeating because I keep seeing nonsense takes on this while it really is so simple. authors do not have to tag beyond 'creator chose not to use archive warnings'. if someone has triggers and/or squicks, then fics tagged as such are simply not for them. that's fine! not everything has to be for everyone!! authors not tagging clearly do that accepting that fewer people will read their fics! but that's still their prerogative. 'creator chose not to use archive warnings' or only the main ao3 warnings are proper, sufficient tagging.

and like, personally i tend to tag beyond that. personally, i appreciate when other authors do. it's a great practice. i love tags. but they are not something that is owed and we really need to get off this weird take that it is. it's not, and it's reader's responsibility to assess if they want to take the risk of reading something untagged, and to curate their online experience. and yes, this includes simply not reading things if you are unsure about its contents even at the risk of missing out sometimes.

[monstersqueen]

Yeah uh sorry but we're denying you the medication that makes you regrow the hands you lost in the accident due to cancer risk.

Oh the type of cancer? Hand cancer. It's. It's significantly higher when you have hands.

Higher than for the general population of people with hands? Uhhhhhhhhh well now you're asking really complicated and sort of ideologically motivated questions.

[monstersqueen]

nothing but respect for our troops (smut writers) but listen. i dont want to be the person to tell you this, but not every character is going to be a dom or a sub. some people. and i know this is hard to hear. but some people do have vanilla sex. and some of those people might even be The Character.

[monstersqueen]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office