moomuffns-blog

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So apparently no one should ever buy sugarless Haribo gummy bears

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Men: I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m going to ask you for it anyways because my false sense of self-awareness should be enough for you

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there are too many pictures of mermaids in sexy poses and not enough of them drowning and eating men. whats up with that

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my interactions with men have taught me a lot about myself mainly that i love girls

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This is the sign you've been waiting for.

Stop what you’re doing and dump your ain’t shit ass boyfriend.

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HES AN ARIES IM SCREAMING

He thought

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get you a man tha–

me:

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social experiment - in the tags put the first thing you'd respond to following question

WHAT TIME IS IT?

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I went to an animal shelter and they named all their cats after warrior cats characters 

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someone posted this on Instagram and I’m going to DIE

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important rule

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Every day during lunch there will be several parties of two straight men having lunch together, that insist I seat them at a table for four even though there are only two of them. Because I guess homosexuality can be transmitted through accidental undertable foot contact now? Who knew?

Right now you might be asking “What happens when four straight men are having lunch together?”

Well what do you think?

They ask for a table for six. I shit you not.

I was airing my humorous grievance to our daytime bartender who only nodded and said. “They order wine and ask me to bring it in a pilsner glass.”

The cocktail server corroborated this saying some straight men will demand he show them the glass a drink comes in to make sure it’s suitably “masculine” looking before they order it.

And the dishwashers hate this because it makes their jobs much more complicated. It’s really not fun to have to drop what you’re doing to scrub dried red wine out of the bottom of a narrow pilsner glass. Especially when they have literally THOUSANDS of other dishes you have to do in a short amount of time.

Straight men ask for special accomodations for their straightness all the time.

That being said, Disabled folks, chronically ill folks, folks with severe allergies and other special needs:

NEVER feel ashamed to request the accomodations you require to enjoy your time at a restaurant. Hand to God we are happy to do it for you- a person who actually needs it.

It would honestly be a nice break from catering to all that fragile masculinity.