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[mooncakewitch]

The Deal of Patriarchy

My earlier work was the Matriarchy Rules the Patriarchy; a piece talking about the Story of Persephone centering on the battle between Mother and Father, with the Mother being victorious over the rights of her children. I said that I would come back to discuss Persephone herself later, and this is later.

I loved this story when I was little. However, I was unsure as to the meaning behind my infatuation with a girl who gets kidnapped and for all purposes is the damsel of the story while I was more into the Warrior female archetype story as a young girl. This always puzzled me and after decades of constantly going back to the original text to re-read this ancient tale, my perspective of it has shifted a multitude of times to see a holistic viewpoint of the story. Mainly by asking the most obvious question,” Why did Persephone go completely without a voice during the most important decision of her life?”

To reiterate the importance of her marriage prospects, remember that Persephone is only given her individual name after she’s been married off, for the majority of the story she is known as Kore. Kore literally means young maiden; from the beginning this girl has no identity other than being a young girl. After her marriage she is given individuality that matches her new title. If she had married anyone else her name would be different. Yet, she is given no say as to any of it at all. Why? Why does her Father, Mother, and even Hades have more say in this decision Kore?

A few reasons as to why this is that is based on assumption what could be going on in this story; she could actually be a young maiden that just became of marrying age (10 years old at the youngest). But the other most accurate reason is that her voice did not matter because she was not seen as a full person in which matters of her marriage needed her approval. Her desire or want for marriage was never considered because she as an individual did not matter to her Father Zeus or her to-be husband Hades. This was a matter of commerce; Zeus paying off his debts to his brother with his daughter being the commodity. What happened to Persephone after she was sold off and sent to the Underworld goes unsaid. Whatever Hades did or did not do to Persephone was none of anyone's business because she belonged to him now. We as women assume that nothing bad is happening to Kore/Persephone while she is with her. It’s not that we just blindly assume that everything is paradise in the underworld, we have  to believe that nothing bad is happening to her. We have  to believe that Hades is just a misunderstood, stoic, reserved, loving, gentleman that would love and respect Persephone and her personhood. 

Why? 

What would women have to face if that was not the truth? That the truth of men is that they care nothing for your personhood and making sure you are protected & provided for like the patriarchal dictates. The worst part of this realization is that your own father is on this scheme. They are the ones who promise you as a little girl that they will protect you from the scary monsters- the dragons, but the reality is that they are the ones making deals with those monsters and selling you to them for the highest bidder. I know this is true, because we men justify their bad behavior towards women daily. Even the so-called “good men” get quiet or even defensive against you, the women, when you speak out against their actions. We see documentaries and read history books of young girls being married off to men 3x their ages, they can pump them full of kids till it literally kills them. We see stories of child prostitues and 11 year old girls being raped by men in their own family. We see this story of Persephone everywhere, so why are we giving it a false narrative? We know what was happening to Kore in the Underworld, we see it happening in real time on the news. We will see more of it with the overturning of Roe V. Wade. We know, but we willfully remain ignorant to it. 

Why? 

I ask this question to myself as I have just recently come to this realization at 27 years old. How and why did I ignore the main problem of this story? That it was the Father selling off his daughter to his brother to repay his debt that was the main problem with this story and this is the great deal of Patriarchy that women must adhere to. You are a bargaining chip and not a full human being because you are a woman. I realized this after I saw it for myself in my father. I saw how abusive he was, how he hated my independence and my outspokenness and tried to weaponize it against me ( even though he was the one that initially fueled this independence within me).  It devastated me, frightened me, and then enraged me. I was enraged to the point where I wanted to commit murder. I truly have no one to champion me. That is the reality that I believe most women and girls don’t want to admit this truth themselves. Most women would fall into despair and anguish, they’re already falling into it now with the growing number of men being affiliated with the “Red pill” and “Free Men” agenda causing men to get even more violent against women than they already were. 

So what is a young girl to do? 

According to the story, she should look to her mother. Did not Demeter champion her daughter, and have her return to her? Yet, women don’t look at that in the way that it is written, and instead attack Demeter. It is women who called Demeter overbearing, possessive, covetous, and jealous of Persephone for her beauty and youth, so she hides her away and rejects male advances towards her. Where did they get that from? Their own mothers, I suspect. The Gods that asked for Persephone in marriage to Demeter (Ares, Hermes, Apollo, and Hephaestus) were not good choices of husbands if anyone has bothered to read even one story about their misadventures in relationships. So, was it really Demeter being covetous or her seeing men for the men that they are? She is older, wiser, she knows the games that men play, she isn’t motivated by lust to play the game and bargain that girls do. She knows what men will do to her daughter if they take her away. This is different from modern women and her mothers. The modern day mother doesn’t champion their daughter, she helps to set them up for this patriarchal exchange. She will blame the daughter for the men’s behavior. She will sit idly while the men in the house sexually abuse the daughter from a young age. She will push and shame the daughter into marriage and be jealous of her daughter's accomplishments in life. Your mother is not Demeter, the Matriarchal Mother. Your mother would not bring an entire civilization to the brink of annihilation for your freedom. Your mother won’t even do it for herself. I believe most women cannot fantham having a mother like this, so they must twist the story to fit the Patriarchal mother that we are all used to living with. 

On a side note, I had a question that I brought up about why Kore’s name was changed to Persephone? We all know that Persephone translates to the bringer of death, however in the story, it was Demeter who brought death to the Pantheon, so why give that name to Kore? Unless it’s Kore who now decides if the Pantheon is met with death again. Her mother brings famine/winter when Persephone is not around, so if Hades refuses to let Persephone leave the Underworld, then the whole Pantheon suffers. If Persephone tells Demeter that Hades is cheating on her like all his brothers due to their wives, belittling her, or mistreating her, the Pantheon suffers. This would explain the lovely dynamic shared between Hades and Persephone; the whole Patheon is now compelled to keep Hades in line for fear of Demeter’s wraith. Demeter’s wraith is tempered by the state of her daughter. The entire state of the Pantheon rests with her wellbeing, so calling her the bringer of death is appropriate. This is how Matriarchy wins. 

[mooncakewitch]

Divestment is what you remove from your life, both people and traits that hinder growth. Sovereignty is what you replace it with and ultimately what you become.

-Kendall Saint Charles

[mooncakewitch]

I finally got my Kali Oracle deck in the mail and as I was going through them I noticed that only 2 cards out of 44 had kali in her dark skin form, the rest were Kali in her blue, green, yellow, and red hue for the appropriate name. Normally that would not bother me, but what enrage me was that the artistic style was completely different from the rest of the cards. These two cards of Kali with dark skin are drawn similar to caveman drawings while the entirety of the deck is detailed with elegance and beauty, I almost cried looking through these cards. I'm still thinking about returning these cards and getting my money back. I haven't even begun to read through the book yet, but some of the reviews state that Alaina hadn't done her research and she gets the name confused.

I would go into the obvious colorism and racism that goes into the depiction of Kali and other Hindu God/ddesses. I could go onto a long tirade about how the same thing is happening to African God/ddess. The blatant disrespect that Europeans/caucasian/white people due that honestly hasn't changed from colonial days no matter what lame "woke" quotes they want to use... I could go into all of that but I'm tired. I'm hurt. I spent the past several hours trying not to cry over this. This blatant disrespect and mockery that people due to women with my skin tone. The hypocrisy that these same people have when they steal the techniques and wisdom of these same women without an ounce of credit or recognition. It's that toxicity that prevents me from joining spiritual groups and even talking about my spiritual practics and journey. It's the reason many black women don't or are reluctant to. This is why many POC say their religions are closed, even the ones that aren't. We don't want our culture and Gods perverted by whitewashing, the teaching twisted and watered down into bullshit and nonsense for people to brand into quick sales and like on social media platforms.

[mooncakewitch]

Kali The Mother

The stars are blotted out, The clouds are covering clouds, It is darkness vibrant, sonant. In the roaring, whirling wind Are the souls of a million lunatics Just loose from the prison-house, Wrenching trees by the roots, Sweeping all from the path. The sea has joined the fray, And swirls up mountain-waves, To reach the pitchy sky. The flash of lurid light Reveals on every side A thousand, thousand shades Of Death begrimed and black — Scattering plagues and sorrows, Dancing mad with joy, Come, Mother, come! For Terror is Thy name, Death is in Thy breath, And every shaking step Destroys a world for e’er. Thou “Time”, the All-Destroyer! Come, O Mother, come! Who dares misery love, And hug the form of Death, Dance in Destruction’s dance, To him the Mother comes.

(Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda, Volume 4.)

[mooncakewitch]

Ya know, 2020 was the year of perfect vision and ya'll still blind.

[mooncakewitch]

What is a nice way to say," Your God is my Devil?"

[mooncakewitch]

Being self-aware enough to step back & see why/how you are the way you are, but not knowing what to do to fix it. That has got to be the biggest curse.

[mooncakewitch]

Going to start Therapy so I can stop crying

said no one ever

[mooncakewitch]

My exes are energy vampires, once they sense your happiness they crawl out of shadows to try and suck it out of you.

[mooncakewitch]

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL

[mooncakewitch]

Candlelight 

[mooncakewitch]

where’s that quiz where you choose lke 4 colours u like and 4 u dont and it hands your ass on a plate

[mooncakewitch]

Kelly Rowland Dirty Laundry

I remember the time when Kelly Rowland opened  the doorway to talk about abusive relationships, especially in the black community but everyone wanted to talk about how she mentioned Beyonce three times in the song. I will forever hate the black community for blatantly disregarding this woman’s pain and trauma to talk about the most trivial shit. 💅🏾💅🏾

[Hook] Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry When you’re soaked in tears for years, it never airs out When you make pain look this good it never wears out This dirty laundry, this dirty laundry [Verse 1] While my sister was on stage, killing it like a motherfucker I was enraged, feeling it like a motherfucker Bird in a cage, you would never know what I was dealing with Went our separate ways, but I was happy she was killing it Bittersweet, she was up, I was down No lie, I feel good for her, but what do I do now? Forget the records, off the record, I was going through some bullshit Post Survivor, she on fire, who wanna hear my bullshit? Meanwhile this nigga putting his hands on me I swear y’all don’t know the half of this industry [Hook] Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry When you’re soaked in tears for years, it never airs out When you make pain look this good it never wears out This dirty laundry, this dirty laundry           [Verse 2] And it’s almost been a decade I’m behind them black shades Roll up like it’s all good, right up out that escalade Fix my make-up, “Get it together, Kelly, get it together” Then we make up, well get it together, nigga, get it together Kinda lucky, I was in her shadow Phone call from my sister, “what’s the matter?” She said, “Oh no baby, you gotta leave!” I’m on the kitchen floor, he took the keys I was mad at everybody, I mean everybody Yeah, her, her, her her everybody Five years later, I got my shit down pat Think I had it good, and they don’t know how bad Fooled everybody, except myself Soaking in this hurt, bathing in the dirt [Hook] Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry When you’re soaked in tears for years, it never airs out When you make pain look this good it never wears out This dirty laundry, this dirty laundry [Verse 3] So here I am in the spin cycle we’re coming and we’re going Nobody can notice And I was trapped in his house, lying to my mama Thought it could get no worse as we maximize the drama Started to call them people on him I was battered He hittin the window like it was me, until it shattered He pulled me out, he said, “Don’t nobody love you but me Not your mama, not your daddy and especially not Bey.” He turned me against my sister I missed you           [Hook] Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry Let’s do this dirty laundry, this dirty laundry When you’re soaked in tears for years, it never airs out When you make pain look this good it never wears out This dirty laundry, this dirty laundry [Outro] Love is pain and pain is love, he had me fucked up Love is pain and pain is love, he had me fucked up

[mooncakewitch]

I remembered I talked about big chopping my hair, but never showed what it looked like.🙃

[mooncakewitch]

You chose your Parents (Rant)

This is complete and utter bullshit.  It's not that I even reject the notion that your spirit chooses your parents before you are born into the world, it's the bullshit notion that because I choose you to be my parents, I then accepted the all of the abuse and/or neglect that being your child brought upon me, so everything is ultimately my fault. Because that is what ultimately being said when people say that.  

 Here is another take on this situation, you (the parental unit) chose to be parents [ya'll did the nasty unprotected and made the conscious decision to keep the baby] and up hold all the responsibility that being a parent entails. You, as parents, chose to provide, protect, and care for the child to bring them into adulthood, and didn't do that. You allowed you child to be abused by others or abused them yourselves- you failed as parents. That was your conscious choice. It could have easily been your conscious choice to make changes to life to be provide a better place for your child so they wouldn't get abused. You had the choice. Does anybody really think that an sane person would purposefully put themselves in a knowing situation to be sexually abuse at 5 years old? That's insane.

 Does it ever occur to people that the true reason that the child chose you as their parents is the same reason that they haven't abandoned you (ie call the cops on you, put rat poison in your food, moved out and never saw you until your funeral where they pissed on your grave etc.) . The child stays because they believe and hope that you could change. They want you to change to be better. If you're not going to change for yourself, can you change for me, your child (legacy)?

 People are say, having kids do not make problems in a relationship magically go away, they hyperbolize them. Children are Shadow Work starter kits. All the shit they people have been hiding from will get exposed when that kids comes out, and mostly it's because the kids will suffer the same fate as the parent, that's how generational curses get started.  If one parent has a pedo uncle that no one talks about, and everyone invites over for family dinner, what do you think is going to happen to that kid if that uncle gets alone time with them?  If your father was physically abusive to you (the parent) as a form of punishment, and you've accepted that behavior as normal, what do you think you are going to do with your kids?

 Fix your shit before you have kids, otherwise that kid will be the one to face the consequences of that. That child is here to be protected, provided, cared for, and learn for by you (parent); how can they do that when you haven’t overcome from your own childhood.

 "They're doing the best they can." Are they though?

 How are you doing the best you can do, when you bringing your kids to someone you know is a rapist in your family? How are you doing the best when you know that if anyone outside of the family saw how you beat your kids, you would be in jail for abuse? You know what your doing is wrong deep inside of  you, as the parent of child you claim to love, but won't change so they're lives won't be as shitty as your was.

I chose you as a parent because I believed that you could & would change for the better. I chose you as a parent because you were supposed to help guide, I could be the best person I could be. I chose you, because I could help you change and grow as well, but you have to be willing for that change and growth. If you, as the parent are not willing to change and grow, then this entire dynamic falls apart. I can't move forward if you won't, so I'm stuck with you. Dealing with the same or worse shit than you are.

Do not have kids until you are physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually ready for the task of raising a kid.

End of rant.

[mooncakewitch]

it’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see

— legacy in hamilton

[mooncakewitch]

Just watched Hamilton. Life feels a little more complete.

Music in Film: Hamilton (2020) dir. Thomas Kail Music by Lin-Manuel Miranda