moore-toby-blog

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

Wyn couldn’t help the tears falling freely at this point. Talking about the past always made her emotional, but especially what Toby was saying now. Add on that the hormones that giving birth brings to the table, and there were so many tears. But when Toby made the milkshake comment it made her laugh harder than it should have, she had to take a minute to stop giggling. “And there I had thought having babies made you soft huh.” She smiled up at him. “I hope they inherit my milkshake choice.” 

Looking back down, Wynter looked closely at the other features of inheritance. The one in her arms already looked like she had gotten Toby’s nose. The nurses had stopped poking and prodding, as if either of them had even noticed their existence anymore, and soon it was just the four of them for the first time.

“I wonder if this is what our moms felt like looking at us. Especially yours, with twins.” Wyn couldn’t take her eyes off of their newborns for the life of her, wondering what they were going to be like. “Also, don’t go giving me twins again. That hurt.” She joked. 

Pursing his lips he shook his head, “Me? Soft? As if. I’ve never been soft a day in my life,” Toby spoke with a small smirk on his lips. Anyone who knew Toby at all knew he was really just a big ol’ softy at heart. “If they inherit your milkshake choice I’m going to be disgusted. Then we will really know they aren’t my children,” He laughed, his gaze falling from Wynter to the babies once again. It was quiet for a moment before he spoke up again, “I hope they look like you when they grow up...” 

Her soft wonderings broke the stillness of the room now that it was just the four of them. Raising his eyebrows in surprise as she mentioned their mothers Toby felt like he had just been kicked in the stomach. His mother would have loved this. Loved to have been here to see her grandchildren. To see Toby happy and with a woman who loved him dearly. It took a moment for him to gather his thoughts and to breathe again. “I...honestly?” Toby paused once again, trying to find the words as he imagined what it would’ve been like for his mother. “I think that this is so much better than what my mom had experienced. I mean. She was alone. My dad was at some bar down the road when she had us. But the love? And the absolute fucking amazement that we are feeling towards these girls right now? I think she must’ve felt this too. I wish they could be here. Your mom especially- to be able to be by your side. I’m a sorry replacement for her, I’m sure.” 

Toby’s laugh was soft and he bumped his shoulder against hers softly, “I’ll try my best not to. You want more already?” He  asked, eyebrows raised. 

Soon enough there was a knock on the door. It was soft and was quickly followed by a even softer, “Mr. & Mrs. Moore? You have some visitors that just can’t wait to meet the little ones. Is it okay if I bring them in?”

Your evil plan worked- but it’s just too fucking precious

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

It was a little bit funny, the whole thing. Wynter had never seen Toby sit so still in his life than when he was holding that girl, and he had no clue which one she even was. Plus both of them were sweaty, crying, and just a mess of two people. 

But when Toby mentioned being sober and present, Wynter dared move her arm from under the baby she was holding to wipe her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re here too.” So glad was an understatement. There were times when they both doubted this day would come, them here together in this moment, they would be stupid to say otherwise. They had broken up, fought, moved, grown up, but found their way to each other in the end. And Wynter always had faith in Toby, that he would make it to this day. “You have no clue how glad I am you’re here for this.” Wyn leaned on Toby, so so glad he was here. 

“How many people are outside waiting on us?” Wynter was sure her sister was about to explode wanting to be in there with them, but she wanted this moment to themselves for a little longer. “And when will your sister realize she wasn’t a name for either of them, I need to know when to protect you.” She joked

To walk in and witness this moment would likely be shocking to anyone who knew the pair. For Toby to be crying, for them to be sitting holding two tiny babies, for them to be wearing wedding rings...everything was so surreal due to everything that had gone through in the past. Alcoholic and drug addicted Toby had worked so hard for this day to never come to fruition. That Toby wanted so badly to focus on all of the bad. To focus on the abuse, the fire, the death, the abandonment, the loneliness. But in walked Wynter and all of her bright light...and here they were now. Against all odds. It was a miracle. 

Biting down on his bottom lip, he took a deep breath. It was hard to see Wynter cry. It broke his heart, especially when it came to this topic. “You gave me a new...a better life. Without you there is no way in hell I would be here. And if I was it wouldn’t be a good thing. I just- I can’t thank you enough for walking into my life and for bringing these wonderful babies into my life...and for bringing love into my life, Wynter. I love you so much. Despite your disgusting milkshake choices.” Toby had to lay in a joke, feeling the need to lighten the mood. 

Laughing at her words he shrugged, “You know, just a small army. We can just stay here a little while longer though. And maybe we can just bring in a few at a time...” Toby suggested, his mind wondering to Rose sitting and waiting for them- to his sisters eagerly watching the door for good news. Another laugh escaped him as he thought about the names they had picked out. “Oh fuck her- she’ll get over it. I can’t wait to tell Rose...”

Your evil plan worked- but it’s just too fucking precious

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

Wynter watched Toby first look at their two girls, and knew that was a moment she’ll think about forever. There wasn’t much for her to say, they were both pretty speechless. Wynter instead just silently scooted over, as best as she could in that small bed and with her aching body, and made room for Toby to sit next to her. 

“Here, take her.” Wyn said, lifting one of the tiny babies closer to Toby. They both were acting as if these girls were made of glass, and to them it felt like they were. They were so tiny, and fragile and new to the world. Wynter couldn’t help but wonder if this was what her own mom was feeling when she had her, and Wyn wished more than anything that their mothers were here to see this. They sat for a moment, Wynter leaning against Toby, looking back and forth between him and the two girls in front of them. She wanted this perfect silence to last forever. 

“I’m sorry, that must’ve been so scary for you Tobes.” Wyn whispered, looking up at him, even though he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of the small girl in his arms. She was feeling somewhat guilty that her body couldn’t do what it was supposed to. 

Sitting next to Wyn was scary enough. He felt like if he took a single breath he would disturb their entire peaceful moment- and this...this right here was what made life worth living, so he didn’t want it to ever end. Looking down at these precious little bundles of love, he couldn’t help the tears that just continued to fall onto his shirt. But the moment she placed one of the tiny babies into his arms he felt his heart stop. “I-” Toby tried to protest. Tried to tell her that the baby was too little and he was scared. He was terrified. He had been all day- but here she was, looking up at him and Toby melted. All he could do was look between his three girls with love and affection. 

Wynter's words broke the silence and he shook his head. “I was terrified. So fuc-” Toby cut himself off, scrunching his nose and laughing softly, “So scared that I was going to loose you, Wyn. Or loose one of these babies.” His voice was soft as he looked back down at the little ones. “But my experience...that has nothing on what you did in here. I’m so beyond proud of you. You did this shit, Wynter. You brought these babies into the world. I love you so much” Toby grinned over at Wynter, leaning down to kiss her softly. “I am forever grateful for this moment. Right here. Right now. I am so glad that I am able to be here. Sober and completely present. Here with you, right now. Thank you for giving me this moment.”

Your evil plan worked- but it’s just too fucking precious

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

Wynter remembered nothing past being placed in their hospital room, it was all a blur and then suddenly she was being woken up by some nurses, IVs in her hand. It took two seconds for them to start explaining what happened before Wynter just wanted to see her babies, asking over and over again if they were okay. Soon enough they were placed one in each of her arms, and Wyn held them close. She was speechless, enjoying this quiet moment, just the three of them.  All she wanted in that moment was for it to be the three of them, and Toby, in a quiet moment forever. As soon as she thought his name, it was like fate had stepped in and brought Toby, because the doctor ushered him in quickly. It looked like he had just been through a war zone, and this time when Wyn looked at him she was crying happy tears instead of panicked ones. 

The moment he walked through those doors Toby felt a wave of mixed emotions. Relief, love, awe, and absolute admiration for the woman before him all flooded his senses. All he could think in that moment was the first thing that left his lips, “Thank god you’re okay Wynter” He said, a huge smile on his face as he walked around nurses and doctors to get to her. “I love you so so so fucking much.” The flood of emotions all came back though when he really took in his surroundings and realized she was not the only person in this room. His world had just gotten bigger. Toby’s entire world had been centered around Wyn for so long that he had been a little skeptical that he could ever love anyone as much as he did her...until he saw those two baby girls laying on her chest. He stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at the tiny babies. Their little fingers, and their little toes. Toby opened his mouth to say something- anything, but he was at a complete loss for words. Instead, tears rushed down his cheeks all over again. “Holy shit....” he mumbled, walking to the bed side he leaned down and kissed Wynters forehead. Too scared to touch them, or disturb them- despite their wailing- he just whispered, “Hi, hi babies...holy sh-wow...you did it Wyn...” 

Your evil plan worked- but it’s just too fucking precious

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

Not much was said getting out of the apartment and into their car, but Wynter was confused why there was a cop waiting outside until she realized it was their key to getting to the hospital faster. She hated drawing attention to herself, and felt bad for using the cop to get there, but she needed to get to that hospital ASAP. All this felt like it was coming so soon. 

Wyn was grateful Toby was talking during the car ride, even though she wasn’t really talking back. How was he suddenly the calm one under pressure? What would she do without him? Wynter was just grateful to be holding his hand right now. If she had to do this on her own, she wasn’t sure that she could. Wynter needed Toby in this moment more than any other. She could feel her phone vibrating under her leg, but she couldn’t be bothered to check it, positive it was Rose and her sister. 

She just held on to Toby’s hand tight and closed her eyes, partially out of pain and partially out of fear for how fast Toby was driving. When they arrived to what felt like the entire hospital outside for them, Wyn wanted to sink down and disappear, even though this was literally their job.  “Does the whole state of California know I’m about to give birth??” She joked. 

*idk i dont know how to write birth lololol ummm lots of screaming and then idk something goes wrong. Wyn keeps saying “something isn’t right” and  then doctors tell Toby she needs to go back now, and that he can’t follow, and wheel her back*

Letting go of Wyn’s hand as they wheeled her away and through the doors was the hardest thing he had ever done in his entire life. All Toby could do was stare in the direction they took her. He didn’t move on his own, instead a nurse took him by the arm and encouraged him to go back into their hospital room but he couldn’t go inside. He couldn’t go in that room if Wynter wasn’t there. Mumbling something along the lines of “no thanks...i just need some air” Toby put one foot in front of the other and tried to remember what it meant to breathe. He didn’t remember walking into the lobby of the hospital but the sound of his name being shouted quickly snapped him out of the fog he had been in. 

“Toby! What’s going on? Do you even know how many times I have called you? Why don’t you ever fucking answer your phone!? I had to hear about this from Cami!” El began ranting as she rushed over to Toby. “Wait...what are you doing in the loby? Why aren’t you with Wynter?” Realization must have smacked her in the face as Toby looked up at El with a pale face. But it wasn’t until he saw Rose rush through the doors that he broke down in tears. “I- I don’t know what’s going on. They wouldn’t let me go with her. They wouldn’t let me go with Wyn. Something is wrong Rose. Something is wrong!” Tears streamed down his face suddenly. He couldn’t hold in the overwhelming emotions anymore as Rose wrapped her arms around him like she had so many times before. “Shh, Toby. Everything is going to be okay. Wynter is a tough girl. She will be just fine. Those babies will be just fine.”

It was a long wait in the waiting room. Or maybe it wasn’t, but it was forever in Toby’s mind. Slowly more and more family members trickled in. Everyone giving Toby a small pat on the back, a hug, or sometimes just a smile as they took a seat to wait it out. He had paced the entire room. 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104. 104 steps for him to go in a circle around that room. Rose sighed, tired from watching the curly haired boy run himself into the ground with worry. “Common’ Toby. Come sit with me,” her tone was soft, but the light touch on his arm was what really reminded him of what he was doing and caused him to sit with her. All he could think was of Wynter and the babies. What if this. What if that. Toby had the urge to drink. Or smoke. Or do anything to take the nerves away, but he knew that wasn’t an option so he settled for bouncing his leg and watching the door. 

“Toby Moore?” A young doctor walked into the room and everyone in the waiting room stood up, much to the surprise of the doctor. “Uhm, Mr. Moore?” he repeated himself and Toby let go of Rose’s hand, giving her one glance as if to say ‘this is it...’. “Yes. Yep. Hi, yes that’s me. Is Wynter okay? Please just fucking tell me my wife is okay. Is Wynter...is she okay?” 

Your evil plan worked- but it’s just too fucking precious

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

Giggles took over Wynter after seeing the look on Toby’s face after her hair comment, and she forgot about her panic for a split second in that moment. 

She was about to make another smartass comment about the only other time he had stripped out of his uniform infront of her before a sharp pain hit Wyn. She closed her eyes and pointed blindly when he asked which pair of pants she wanted, waiting for the contraction to ride out. “Yeah we gotta go Tobes.” 

She stood up and changed quickly, hoping Toby would drive fast like he always does. 

Wyn’s giggles could put an end to world wars, as far as Toby was concerned. The sound of her joy washed away all of his anxieties and fear over their situation. It was by far his favorite sound in the entire world. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone. 

All the relief was quickly washed away though as soon as he walked out of the closet and saw her face. It was the fastest and most careful Toby had ever been when he helped her change pants and threw on his own t-shirt. Grabbing their go bags he helped her out of the house. Much to his surprise, the police officer had stayed- waiting to take them to the hospital. 

The drive wasn’t long, Toby was holding Wyn’s hand the entire time and nervously chatting about nothing with no one in particular. His leg bounced as he watched them fly past all of the pulled over cars. Maybe he missed his calling. He would love to speed around like this all the time. 

Arriving at the hospital was a rush. They knew they were headed there and as soon as they pulled up there was a rush of nurses swarming the car to help Wyn into a wheelchair and straight into a room to start what could only be described as the longest day of Toby’s life. 

Your evil plan worked- but it’s just too fucking precious

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

Wynter sat down on their bed, both of them must have looked like a hot mess in this moment, neither of them put together in any sense. 

“I’m excited I’m happy but Toby, something doesn’t feel right.” She was shaking her head. Suddenly it didn’t feel like her small body could do this. Looking up at him again when he took her hand, Wyn couldn’t help but laugh again. 

“I’ve never seen your hair look bad until this moment.” She smiled, knowing he was going to kill her for making a joke about his hair in a moment like this. “I need to change pants, and I think you do too.” 

His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand what might be feeling off in that moment, “What do you mean something doesn’t feel right? We need to get to to the hospital...” 

Toby’s mouth dropped open as soon as her smartass comments left her cute little lips. He was honestly stunned by the comment. “Oh okay I see how it is. Fuck off. My wife can’t be thinking I have bad hair” he laughed shaking his head at her as he self consciously ran a hand through his hair- trying to make it look better in the meantime. “Common, let’s get you changed and then I’ll worry about this shitty hair.”

Letting go of her hand he walked into the closet, stripping out of his uniform as he went. “What pants do you want? Sweats?” He called out as he pulled on new pants of his own. Grabbing two options Toby walked back out, shirtless, “Which one?”

Your evil plan worked- but it’s just too fucking precious

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

It was any other day for Wyn, which had her feeling large and uncomfortable. She was a small girl, who was holding two whole people inside her. She felt wide and weird, and just wanted to have these babies already. Wyn hadn’t been sleeping well, and was always sad when Toby kissed her head before going off to work. She was left to be big and uncomfortable by herself. 

But it had been a normal day so far. Wyn had gotten up, taken a shower, made breakfast, and was in the middle of cleaning around the house when something felt… not right. She looked down to see her pants wet, and immediately had to remind herself not to panic.  Wynter tried calling Toby 7 times, called Rose, called Toby again, called her sister, called Toby one more time before finally just calling the station, hoping anyone could tell him that he was about to become a dad, literally anyone. When she heard he was in an actual fire, that’s when panic began to set in. 

Wynter was pacing around their bedroom, contemplating just calling an ambulance for herself. Normally, she was relatively calm under pressure, and she had been calm about the thought of giving birth until this moment. Something just didn’t feel right. When Toby burst through the door, in full gear, Wynter couldn’t help but both laugh at him in his full uniform, covered in dirt and all, and start to cry out of panic. 

Toby couldn’t help but look at Wyn’s face full of confused laughter and panic. He hadn’t even thought of what he might look like until that moment. His hair was matted down from his helmet and sweat. His face was covered in dirt. The navy blue t-shirt that was held down by bright red suspenders looked almost black from sweat under his yellow jacket. 

“Hey don’t lau-” he started, cut short by the sudden tears. “Don’t cry. It’s okay. Come here. Are you okay? We are going to be parents Wyn...this is the best day of our lives...right?” Walking towards her in heavy booted steps, he slipped off his jacket and took her hand in his. “Let’s go have these babies...okay?” 

Your evil plan worked- but it’s just too fucking precious

[moore-toby-blog]

Your evil plan worked- but it’s just too fucking precious

Today was not unlike any other day for Toby. He had been at work since 5 AM that morning and had only managed a light kiss on Wynter’s forehead before he was out the door. Everything else was normal, he might have even considered it a slow day until the sirens began to blare and he was quickly rushed away into the next emergency situation. 

With his adrenaline pumping and sweat pouring down his back, Toby was just about to go back into the building when his captan yelled out, “MOORE!” “MOORE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! YOU GOTTA GO! MOORE! YOUR WIVES WATER BROKE! YOU’RE ABOUT TO BE A DAD...LETS GO SON!” 

The words seemed to go in one ear and out the other, his solitary focus on the job at hand suddenly being ripped into reality. Everything began to move in slow motion as he ripped off his helmet and began running toward the captain. “Wyn? Her water broke? Wh- holy shit. What do I do? Where is she? Is she at home? I’m not ready. Is she okay? Is Wyn okay? Where do I go? I don’t have a ride. How do I get there? Do I need to get her? What do I do? I’m going to be a dad-” Toby stopped only for a breath before he stood up straight and tears formed in his eyes, “Holy shit! I’M GOING TO BE A DAD!! Where’s Wyn?!” 

The trip to the house didn’t take long, a police officer who didn’t need to be on site flipped on her lights and soon enough they had pulled up in front of the house and Toby was running inside- in full uniform. “Wyn? Babe!?” 

[moore-toby-blog]

Happy Anniversary LOML!

Tomorrow was a big day. Such a big day, in fact, that Toby only needed one calendar app notification to remember which day specifically it was (which is an improvement if I do say so myself). It was their very first wedding anniversary tomorrow. One whole year of marriage, it was honestly a miracle that they made it this far and Toby hadn’t fucked it up yet. Well, he hadn’t fucked it up enough for Wyn to leave him at least.

He wanted to make it special. To do something that Wynter would never expect from him and that she would remember forever. Maybe she had made him soft over the years, but he was excited. Impatiently tapping his fingers against the table, he watched the clock tick down until he was off work… Toby could hardly contain his excitement. He had only barely made it to his car before he got a phone call from the leading lady of his thoughts, Wyn.

“Hello?” … “Yeah I just got off work” … “No, I won’t be home for a few hours. Remember? I promised Rose I’d help her out after work” … “Yeah I-“ … “Okay I love you” … “I’ll see you soon” … “Okay love you”

The errands took every last second of time he had allotted himself and he would be lying if he wasn’t proud of himself. As a teen, he would’ve bought a girl some flowers for an anniversary or a bottle of their favorite alcohol. Even through their relationship, Toby had never been great at anniversaries, always going to Rose for help. This year though, this year was different. He was going to make Wynter proud. He was going to show her how much he really loves her. After dropping off all the bags with Rose with the promise to pick them up early the next morning, Toby was finally walking through the front door. Home. Everything felt right as soon as the door swung open. He felt relief and relaxation wash over his body the second he set his stuff down and shed the dirty t-shirt off his chest. “Wyn?” Toby called into the semi-quiet house. “Babe…I’m home. Where are you?” His questioning bouncing around the walls as he kicked his shoes off and went to retrieve a water bottle from the fridge. “Rose was asking about you, surprise surprise. She wants to know when you’re going to go visit her and get one of your disgusting ass milkshakes,” he laughed softly to himself, carrying on his conversation into the empty room- waiting to see his beautiful wife walk into the room.

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

An hour had passed, an hour and a half, and soon the girls were getting grumpy that they hadn’t been fed dinner yet. Realizing Toby was clearly going to be later than he originally said, Wyn figured she might as well make the girls dinner, and she could wait until Toby came back to eat with him. After dinner came bath time, accompanied by worry on Wyn’s end. She knew all too well what went on when Toby was missing like this. It had been years since she had this kind of gut worry. He wouldn’t start doing those things again.. right? No.. he knows how important it is to her that those influences never impact their daughters like it had them. She had told him from the very beginning that if he ever came home high, drunk, or under any substance he wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the girls, and she meant it. 

After bath time came bed time, and still no Toby to be found. Wynter was angry and worried, but put on her best mom facade to be upbeat and calm, even though the girls were questioning where their daddy was. He never missed reading them a story before bed. Wyn brushed their curls, put them into pjs, made sure every stuffed animal was in the right place, and that their nightlights were on before sitting in between their beds to read them a story

She was almost done with the book, and the girls couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore when she heard the front door open and Toby calling her name. She quietly put down the book and slipped out of the room without disturbing the twins. Wyn was ready to hear what he had to say to defend himself this time. Walking around the corner to the living room, it was just so obvious right away. She had seen this a thousand times. The smell alone could give him away from miles, but his eyes were half closed, cheeks rosy, and hair had clearly been run through by his fingers a hundred times. She looked him up and down, to the bag he was holding, before shaking her head. 

“No, no. Go to the kitchen. You are not allowed near their bedroom like this.” She said, pointing to the next room over. She was so serious about not letting him near those sweet girls. Plus, if he woke them up right after they had just fallen asleep, Wyn would have his head. 

It was only a moment before Wynter was in the living room with him and as soon as he saw her he felt the weight of all the decisions he had made that night fall back down onto his shoulders. He had fucked up so many times, come home under the influence too many times and for the first time in years he felt that guilt turn his stomach in knots. Just the look on her face made it obvious that she was already well aware what had happened before she even opened her mouth to speak. It reminded him of all the other times he had stumbled into the house just to be met with those big eyes. They were always a mix of sadness and anger- just one look and it completely tore him apart. 

Opening his mouth to object he quickly shut it again and bit down on the inside of his cheek as he listened to her speak. Her words cut like a knife and he felt immediately sobered up. “Wyn...I am so sorry. I fucked up I don’t...I just- I, I just fucked up. I don’t know how it all happened and I know that there is no excuse for it...” Toby rambled as he walked in the direction that she had pointed. Setting the groceries on the kitchen counter he took a deep breath and leaned against the countertop. 

Trying to find the right words he dragged his hands threw his hair and then over his face. “I went to Rosie’s today. I was just trying to help, you know? I have gone a few times and I just wanted to help them out...just, I don’t know. I just wanted to be there. It still feels like she should just be in the back, Wyn. It’s fuckin’...” Toby shook his head, trailing off and looking down at his hands. Twisting the wedding band around his finger- a tick he had picked up over the years- “It’s fucking heartbreaking, Wynter. I don’t know why I thought it would be any different this time. But then Cody came in...you remember him? And he just...I don’t know- we were talking about Rose- he didn’t know she-- she..passed away. One thing led to another and we were at the bar and I just lost track of time and I regret hurting and disappointing you, I just...I’m not good at dealing with things. I’ve never known how to deal with things well- and I try so hard, you know? I try so damn hard. But it just all got to be too much and I miss her Wyn. I don’t know what I’m doing here without her. Like how the fuck did I get dealt such a shitty hand when it comes to parental figures? And how am I supposed to be a good father when I don’t even know what that looks like? I have no references. All I know is abuse and drinking and obviously I would never, never, lay a hand on you but as for the other part of that, I guess I am just not doing very well with that part” Rambling on Toby wiped his cheeks and refused to look over at his wife. “I am...so fucking sorry Wynter. You deserve better. I am so so sorry.”

Some Awesome Title bc I’m Creative AF

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r‌:

Wynter had been in and out of their apartment all day. To say she had mastered running errands and having an actual productive day with two two-year-old girls was a stretch, but she had gotten pretty good. She got groceries, went to her studio to drop off things with her band, and even to her sister’s house just to gossip. When wyn finally had time to check her phone, she was pleasantly surprised, as always, to see a text from Toby. Even more so when he said he was at Rosie’s. 

Rose’s death was a gap in the universe for everyone. Wynter had felt like her last bit of guidance was gone, and like she was doing nothing right because she didn’t have their fairy godmother Rose on speed dial anymore.  But no one’s hurt compared to Toby’s. There were days when he couldn’t even bring himself to get out of bed, and the only thing Wynter knew how to do was to be there for him. She was patient and knew time would do it’s best to heal, but it would take a lot of time. And it did, and Toby, as far as Wyn could tell, was doing so much better these days. She was so proud of him. 

She replied that she’d be home in an hour, and anything he’d want to eat was fine with her, before starting the circus of getting the two girls in the car to go home. They were growing into more and more of their personalities each day, and Wyn saw qualities of both her and Toby in each of them. They could be stubborn and loud and their hair would be a rats nest of curls, but they were also becoming very kind kids, and they shared their toys with each other, and Wynter just liked to think of their loudness as being musical. She just hoped they were doing their best at raising them. 

They were home, and Wynter decided they could wait an hour for dinner, maybe whatever Toby would pick up for them, the girls could eat too, mostly because she was feeling lazy on the front of actually making dinner for them. She was just excited, because her favorite part of each day was when Toby came home and they all four were together again. 

The bar’s air felt stale, it was a Thursday night so there were people scattered throughout but not nearly as many as there would be the following night. Toby’s heart was racing, he could practically taste the alcohol in the air and see Wynter’s broken hearted look when he got home. He knew this was a bad decision but Cody’s voice quickly snapped him out of it. Sitting down on the sticky bar stool he felt a wave of relief as he didn’t recognize the bartender, at least he was just another patron- no one would have to know. 

One beer turned into two, and two turned to three. The nerves had warn off and Toby felt warm and happy. Why did he ever stop? It made everything feel better. 

Three beers turned into...“Just one shot before we go home! For old times! Cmon’ Toby, you’re not a little bitch now that you married that pretty little thing, are you?” 

“Fuck off...just one. For old times,” Toby laughed, shaking his head at the petty jabs. 

Once he was back to his car he realized that it had been well over that hour, actually, it had been 2 and a half. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. His head felt heavy, his mind that had been up in the clouds all of a sudden came crashing back down. What was he thinking? Climbing into the car he buckled the seatbelt and looked down at his phone for the first time since he sent that first text. Blinking a few times it slowly came into focus and his mind raced with what to say- how to apologize. How to hide this. 

“Lodt track of time. Sorry! Im going to stop by the store then ill be home. See you soon xx”

Send.

The store felt surreal. Everything felt surreal. It brought him back to being a teenager in the house as he wondered the isles with alcohol pumping through him. Nothing had changed. He was back at square one. Grabbing some miscellaneous items of the shelves Toby sighed as he looked down at the things he had gathered in the cart; rotisserie chicken, gold fish, milk, bread, eggs, mints, flowers. Thoughts of sitting with Rose at 3 AM flooded his mind, her disappointed frown when he came in high or drunk...or both. The way she would hold his hand or rub his back as he sobbed in the empty restaurant about his mother, the abuse, all the decisions that had lead him to that moment in time. His shoulders dropped as he imagined the look on her face if she was there to see him now, drunk at a supermarket. A father that was drunk at a fucking supermarket. 

The drive home was not something he should’ve done. He shouldn’t have been driving the entire time, but honestly? If anyone could drive home drunk it was him. He had experience. Rubbing the back of his neck he took a deep breath as he sat in his car outside the house- trying to muster up the courage to go inside. Does he lie? Does he try to avoid her until he can shower and brush his teeth? Or does he just tell her? 

Unlocking the front door he glanced around for the family, “Hello?” He called into the empty front living room, “Wyn? I’m home. I know I’m late, I’m so sorry..”

Some Awesome Title bc I’m Creative AF

[moore-toby-blog]

Some Awesome Title bc I’m Creative AF

It wasn’t abnormal for Toby to stop by the diner, even though it had been a year since Rose’s smiling face was dancing around caring for all her regular customers. He just wanted to make sure that everything was running well- that Rose’s namesake was up to her standards even though she wasn’t here. The bells hitting the door signified his entry and he was immediately welcomed by the warm air and a happy cheer of “Welcome to Ros- Oh! Toby!! Look at you! How is my handsome boy doing?” The new owner was Rose’s best friend and manager before she had passed. Putting on the most charming grin that he could muster, Toby pushed his hair out of his face and laughed. “I’m good, how have you been? You look more and more beautiful every time I see you! What’s the secret?” Pulling the small woman into a big hug for the first time in far too long. It was hard on him to come here. To see everything running smoothly. To see everything working as if it didn’t even miss Rose when Toby felt like he had lost his mother all over again. His world had collapsed in on itself. He hardly got out of bed for the first week after the funeral and he thought about her every single day since. Speaking at her funeral was the hardest thing Toby had ever had to do- especially sober. His hands shook as he stood in front of what felt like the entire town and it was the first time he had felt completely vulnerable in front of anyone other than Wyn or Rose. It was terrifying. Terrifying to realize that she wasn’t there anymore. That she wouldn’t be there to see his children grow up. Terrifying to be alone in the world again. Thank goodness for Wynter. Had it not been for her gentle guidance and her hand to hold Toby was sure that he wouldn’t be here.

The trip to Rosie’s was short. Mostly it was full of charming the staff, talking to a few locals, and getting a milkshake. He had planned to stay longer, to help out in the back or clean up- whatever they needed- but it was cut short when a guy he had been “friends” with walked in. Cody had lived in the house for about a week, he was a friend of Sam’s and by default that made them friends as well. Toby could hardly remember any of the time spent with Cody and Sam- and the three of them spent a lot of time together. Most of the time it was spent at the underground or on the beach high out of their minds and getting into trouble. Seeing Cody now though, as adults, was surprising. Toby had assumed he died or skipped town a long time ago. The conversation was short. Something along the lines of,

“Hey man, what are you doing here?” “Looking for Rose- you seen her?” “…..Rose passed away a little over a year ago. What did you need?” “Oh. Fuck.”

Soon enough they were sat in the booth that Toby had sat with Rose all of those nights, trading memories about Rose, about Sam, about the house. It was almost too much to handle. No one really talked about all of this…not in Rosie’s at least.

“Dude, do you want to go grab a beer or something? You know, for old times sake?”

Toby was nodding his head before he could really think about what he had just agreed to. He had been sober for a long time. Not a single drink. Not when Rose died. Not even when his friends offered to buy him a drink after the birth of their children. Toby knew that he shouldn’t be agreeing to this, but he couldn’t help but follow Cody out of the diner, sending smiles and charming promises to return soon to the staff as he went. Glancing down at his phone there wasn’t anything from Wyn, he assumed that she wouldn’t be getting home for another hour or so. He could get a drink and make it home in that amount of time…right? As long as it was just one drink she would never even know. Drafting a new text he glanced up at the bar logo- it was the same bar that had been letting him drink since he was 16. Everyone in there would know who he was. Wynter never came here though, it would never get back around. He could pull this off. Just one drink. It’s just one drink.

“Hey, just at Rosie’s. Hope you’re having a good day. What do you want to have for dinner? I can pick something up?”

Send.

Just one drink.

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r:

It had been one year and Wynter still liked to look at her wedding ring, and how sparkly it was. She still liked it when Toby kissed her on the head right before he went to work early in the morning and she was still in bed. She still got excited when he came home from work, and when they went on trips together, and when she got to write her name and her last name matched Toby’s. It was just them two, and they were enjoying it in their cozy apartment. Wynter loved being married to Toby. 

Which is why she was bummed he had to go to work, and Wynter had to go to meetings with their manager all day, because if it was up to her they would be celebrating allllll day. She woke up early with him and made him breakfast while he was in the shower, so that way he would actually eat a real breakfast before going to work. As soon as all her meetings were done, Wyn rushed home to make the cake she had been excited to make ever since she had the idea to. She was very into it, making sure it was perfectly decorated, and finished right when Toby walked in the front door.

One year today. Their first year was full of laughter, love, and lots of teasing. It was everything that Toby could’ve ever hoped for. Actually, he hadn’t expected to ever get married. Let alone married to someone as special as Wynter. But here he was, on their one year anniversary, counting down the hours left in his shift so that he could go home and spend the rest of the night with the love of his life. He was completely head over heels, even after all of these years.

The door couldn’t unlock fast enough as Toby attempted to get into their apartment. You’d think after all this time living here he would be able to unlock the door easily, yet it still gave him trouble every time. He could practically hear her voice and see her eyes roll as she told him to pull up and back on the handle. “Hello?” Toby called out into their place as he finally came inside. Dropping his bag, kicking off his boots, and barely glancing in the mirror long enough to push some of his hair out of his face, he was already on the move toward the kitchen which had filled the air with the smell of sugary goodness. Leaning his shoulder against the door frame Toby grinned, his eyes trailing across his wife’s back, over her arm, and to the cake that she was standing over. “Happy anniversary, my beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful wife,” Toby whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face into the crook of her neck. “How was your day?”

wowza 1 whole year

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r:

When Toby told her he had been sober for a year, Wynter felt her heart swell up with pride. She was genuinely both surprised and proud of him, unsure which she was more, or which was showing on her face. She did not expect this to happen. No one had told Wynter anything about Toby since everything had happened. “Wow…” She smiled and put her chin in her hands. “That’s actually amazing Toby, you should be proud.” Not that Wyn didn���t think this day wouldn’t happen, she just didn’t expect it as soon as now. “I’m proud of you.” The blush creeped its way back to Wyn’s cheeks when he called her lovely like nothing had changed. “I’m glad I’m home too.” She smiled. “Want a sip of my milkshake that you love?”

Leaning back and letting out a breath he had been holding he felt a wave of relaxation wash over him, it was a huge relief to have that out in the open now. Wynters face was all he needed to see, he didn’t need her to tell him because he could see that she was proud all over her face. Toby grinned as she said she was proud anyways, showing off his dimples as he looked down at the milkshake. “I’ve just been trying really hard to get my shit together, something had to change. You know?” He shrugged, hoping she understood that their break up and the subsequent drug and alcohol abuse had been the jumping off point for trying to get sober. Smiling again as he watched her cheeks turn a light shade of pink he couldn’t help the small laugh that left his lips only to turn into an actual laugh at her question, “Fuck no that is disgusting” Toby laughed, scrunching his nose up and shaking his head. “I don’t know how you drink that shit...you should try my chocolate milkshake, that’s the good stuff.” He smiled, pushing his milkshake slightly toward the girl even though he was pretty sure she would pass on the offer. 

All the feels.

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r:

It made Wynter really happy when Toby said he was proud of her, it made her feel like she was doing something worth while. It felt comfortable for Wyn to be back in Rosies with Toby and Rose, even though feelings were all over the place. Stirring her straw around, Wyn couldn’t help but look down when he was answering her question. It did surprise her though to hear about how they weren’t together. She knew just because someone sleeps together doesn’t mean they have to be together, but there was a lot of history between Toby and Kat so it wasn’t crazy to think they would be again. So that made her feel a little better. She had run into kat only once since being home and neither could look each other in the eye. “Rose said you’re doing better, that’s really good! Is that true?” Wynter had worried every day about how Toby was doing. “Yeah, well they all live in New York anyways, so they just left the city and went back to their families.” She nodded. “I’ve really missed you.”

Chewing on the inside of his lip Toby watched Wyn as he spoke about Kat, it seemed like an awkward conversation to have so he tried to avoid it the best he could and just move on. His focus drifted back to the food in between them as she spoke up again, running his tongue over his bottom lip before responding he shrugged, “She likes to brag about me.” Toby laughed a little and glanced around for the older woman for a moment before his eyes landed back over on Wyn, “I’m completely sober, I have been for a little under a year at this point...um..yeah, sober single and over worked but doing better for sure” he smiled a little, feeling a sense of accomplishment now that the one person he really cared about knowing this information was aware. “It was just time for some shit to change you know?” Leaning back he grinned at her words, he had missed her too but he didn’t expect her to tell him that, maybe things were going better than he thought. “Well, I’m glad you decided to come home. I really missed you too, lovely.” 

All the feels.

[moore-toby-blog]

wynnie-r:

Wynter smiled as she listened. It sounded like he was way more involved in his sisters lives than before, which was good. It also made Wyn curious when he mentioned him and the coworkers going to the bar, but it didnt sound like he was drinking with them. She wanted to know more, literally everything. She had so many questions to ask. “I’m good..” She started, unsure where to actually start and what was going on when they last spoke. “We went on tour which was cool! It was just up and down the east coast, and it wasn’t terribly big venues but we sold out most of them! I liked the performing part, but I’m  not good at traveling.. you know…so that was kind of hard. But it was good for the most part.” Taking a second to think some more. “That’s kind of the big thing. Other than that just a lot of writing and recording.” Wyn shrugged, looking up at Toby and smiling a little. She really did miss him. “How are you though? And um…how’s Kat…” Looking back down at her milkshake, Wynter knew she shouldn’t have brought it up so soon but it was on her mind.

Toby was happy to be sitting in Rosies with Wynter like before, even though they weren’t together and things were obviously still awkward, it felt right to be with her again. He had really missed her. Absentmindedly pushing the straw through the thick shake as he listened he smiled and nodded his head along with her story. “That’s awesome Wyn, it sounds like you’re really living your dream, even if it is kinda scary. I’m proud of you.” He smiled a little over at her and then cast his eyes back down on the fries, grabbing one from the basket sitting between the two of them. After dipping the fry and putting it in his mouth he raised his eyebrows as she asked him some new questions. Toby shrugged his shoulders as he chewed and thought about what to say. “Umm...” he shook his head slightly, “there’s not a whole lot to say. Kat is still running the dance studio and living at the house so we see each other a ton between the two but I’m not with her or anything.” Taking a sip of his milkshake he thought about what to say next, “I am alright, just really trying to stay busy however I can. I don’t know how much you really want to know, but yeah, mostly just working my ass off.”  Shrugging his shoulders Toby wasn’t sure what he should tell her and if he did tell her how he could do it without sounding like he was bragging or something. “Is the band all spread out on a break for now or are you the only one who came home?”

All the feels.