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October 22

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here, but I’m back. I’m in college and I haven’t seen Garfield in since I graduated. I’m not even in the same state as him. It’s been crazy. I actually have a boyfriend now and I love him so much, but Garfield is always in the back of my mind. I know he’s doing ok because he’s doing working, but I miss him. Due to this pandemic, I probably won’t see him for a while. Maybe till next year. I can’t go to my old hs because it’s closed due to COVID, but I’m hoping that I’ll bump into him on the street when I go back home. It’s crazy. After two years, I’m still going crazy over this guy. It’s still way more than a crush ❤️

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PLEASE HELP!!!!

Okay so I really want to talk to Garfield like holy shit I need to, but I don’t want to see like a bother. My way of thinking is that if I HAVE to ask him a question he’ll be fine with it and then I can have a long conversation with him, but I don’t know what to ask without it being weird. PLEASE send me a question to ask him that’s like school related. I’m a senior so I would need a question that is like related to that. Please send em my way. Help me be a hoe

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December 27

Today is Garfields birthday and since I’m on break I can’t say happy birthday so imma say it here. Here we go. This is gonna get sappy.

Garfield, you have been both a blessing and a curse, but I’m so happy that you were put in my life. You taught me a lot not only physics but you taught me about life. You were there for me in my darkest days and you were my reason for getting up each morning. I wouldn’t have survived without you and I’m so grateful for that. There were times where you stressed the hell out of me, but there were also times were I didn’t want to leave your side. I will never forget those days when I went after school for tutoring and you gave the best advice on how to deal with my life and my parents. You listened to me when I ranted about my ex best friend. You listened when I was ranting about my parents. I wouldn’t be where I am without you. Now, today you’re turning 37. You’re getting pretty old. I hope you enjoy this day with your family and friends. You sure as hell deserve it. Have a happy birthday!! ❤️

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Oct 22st

Well my life really sucks. I wish I was kidding but I am definitely not. There’s this guy, he’s my age and in my grade and he’s VERY cute. My stupid ass asked him to homecoming. Of course, he rejected me because I don’t know why. Someone told me that he knew that I liked him because of that and that he doesn’t care. I wished he cared because I want him to feel the same way. He’s the first person I’ve liked since Garfield and he doesn’t feel the same AGAIN! Speaking of, I talked to him. My friend and I needed help with our pre-cal homework and my precal teacher had a class so I went to the only person that I knew had a engineering degree. When I saw him, it was like looking at a stranger. He grew out his beard, his voice was MUCH deeper and raspier, and he was looking a little chubbier. I asked him if he was okay or sick and he just said he was fine. When I was walking to him classroom, I felt so nervous and not the good kind. I was almost terrorfied to see him, but once I did, I felt absolutely nothing. It was as if everything that I felt for him never happened. It was sad, but I can’t do anything about it. He moved on, I need to too. No matter how much I want to keep holding on, I can’t. Why is this so hard? I’ve noticed that when I enter the class in front of his, he looks at me until I walk in. I don’t know why, but it bothers me.

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smile

It’s been a while since we last talked

I wonder how you are doing

I wonder how your life is and if you’re okay

My thoughts don’t stay for long though because for some reason

When I think about you, you don’t stay too long in my head as you did before

I know why..

But I can’t admit it

Finally getting the courage, I go to talk to you

It isn’t for long since I have class in five minutes

The weirdest thing happened

You laughed and smiled and I felt..

Nothing

Your smile used to make my heart melt, but this time

It didn’t

When I wake up, I used to think about you, but now.. all I think about is what I’m doing that day

I know what it means

It means I’m forgetting you

It means that I’m letting you go and moving on

It’s eaisier than I expected, which is scary

It’s funny because I thought that this was true love

I thought you were it

But I guess you were just another piece in my fucked up game of love

My butterflies for you are dead

Now that I’m a senior, I’m gonna leave this school

And I’m gonna leave you

And by the look of things, I’m going to forget you

I’m going to forget your laugh, your voice, your hugs, the memories

And most of all.. I’m going to forget your smile

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August 28

Third day of senior year. Yay. Yesterday, I walked to my fifth period class which happens to be right in front of Garfield’s classroom. My teachers door was locked so being the whore I am, decided to pay him and quick visit. I walked in and said Hey Garfield. He glanced up from his computer and said a quick hey but did a double take when he saw me. He was like “Hey r!” He got up and hugged me which was BBLLIIISSSS!!! He said “It been a while. How are you?”. Seeing him was so amazing. Talking like how we used to, him looking at me with such interest, his small grins here and there. I got sad when I had the leave. He told me thanks for stopping by and that was it. I’m probably going to wait like two weeks before I like visit him again because I don’t wanna seem clingy. Anyway.

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August 3

My city’s Walmart was just shot up and I’m in pain. My family and friends are okay, but they have not yet identified the 20 bodies. I’m scared that Garfield is injured or worse dead. I’m hoping that he’s okay and that he’s at home with his wife. There’s no way I can contact him and make sure he’s okay. They haven’t said anything so all I can do is wait. Please, if you support guns and the NRA, fucking unfollow me. I am disgusted and heartbroken. Prayers and thoughts will not fix ANYTHING! We need to change. My city is strong and we will come together to heal. Fuck this guy. He deserves to rott

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the entire tcc waiting for summer to end so we can get back on our hoe shit

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I wish I could time travel back to the day we met. Just so I can fall in love with you again

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Why you? Why does it always have to be you? When I’m having a bad day, I think about that one stupid joke you once said and smile as tears stream down my face. When I’m working out, I think about how much you were a health nut, but loved to eat cake. When I’m eating apples, I think about how you would eat apples with peanut butter everyday for lunch and never be tired of them. Everything is about you. Even if I forget about you for a while, I’ll hear a song and just be reminded of the man who I fell in love with. And I miss you dearly for it

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Just becuse I have a crush on a older man, doesn’t mean that y’all creepy old men can try and get with me. I am SEVENTEEN years old and not interested in a relationship with some random stranger on the internet. Please and thank you

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It’s only been three days since I’ve last seen my tc and I’m already having breakdowns at night. This is gonna be very traumatic. I miss him so much

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June 7

I HUGGED HIM!! I FUCKING HUGGED HIM!! OH MY GOD!! Okayokayokayokay! So during his class, there was only like seven of us there so me, him, and two other people played a game. I had given him is present and he said thank you so much. So once it was getting closer to the end of the period, I asked him if we could take a picture and we did. Ugh, I wish I can show y’all, but I ain’t tryin to expose him or myself so. Also, when I said bye, he gave me a hug and JESUS CHRIST! His chest was so like USNWBENEGIGF!!! It was tight and comfortable!! I felt like I was at home. I’m gonna miss him so fucking much. I don’t know what this means for this account, but I’ll still stay on it and like repost shit. I love y’all and thank you for listening to my tc story.

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June 6

Tomorrow is the last day of school and I’m not ready. I’ll probably never see Garfield again at school. God, I don’t know how I’m gonna react. I’m gonna take a picture with him and give him a hug. Let’s see if I pussy out on giving him a hug. It’s gonna hurt to say goodbye and I’m probably gonna cry even though I’m still gonna go to the same school as him. Since I’m gonna be a senior, I might see him around, but I don’t know. Ill pop in once in a while I guess. Wish me luck

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“I feel like I’m going through a heartbreak despite us never being lovers”

My dumbass

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He wrote such a small paragraph. It wasn’t even a paragraph. It was literally 4 sentences. Ugh!! I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe a “You are my favorite student” or “You’re amazing” or “I love you”. I was kidding about the I love you. That’s inappropriate. He wrote the generic things that a teacher would write in a year book 🙄🙄🙄🙄

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May 31

Okay so um... I really don’t know how I feel about Garfield right now. He started the period off by saying “Hey welcome to 5th period where everyone’s late all the time!”. I rolled my eyes because I just wanted a good day with him. We were doing a presentation when the fire alarm rang. Of course, it was just a practice one so we went back inside after a while. N pulled out some cards so her and Z were playing. Then out of no where, he came up to us and said “Can I play?” N said of course and explained the game to him since Z didn’t get it. He didn’t understand so they ended up playing speed. When he was playing, he looked really hot. Like wow okay 🥵. He won and got all excited because he won in literally 2 minutes. I wanted to play, but N was being a bitch and said no she wanted a rematch. Garfield said that I could play him once we were done. We never did. He won again. Seeing him smile and he happy made me happy and made me realize why I fell in love with him in the first place. BUT THEN HE THREW A BLOW AT N AND I! Wtf is is deal like I love him, but I also really hate him