I just really really miss you.
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I need you, but I realized what I did to you that day.
“I'm sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do, and I've hurt myself by hurting you”
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should I be sorry because I can't never be her?
I won’t reflecting my insecurities to others
but I still feels like I don’t deserve you.
I’m not that good enough. I know it.
Imaani, 2021
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“Happiness is something final and self-sufficient, and is the end of all action.”
- Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics
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Hurt part II
dreaming of being your one and only
the one you are proud of
the one you looking for
the one beside you
but you choose to walk away
ignoring me
ignoring these feelings
ignoring that I loved you, unconditionally
“will I be okay without you?”
Imaani, 2021
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Hurt part I
I'm not pretty enough to be yours
I'm not good enough to be yours
I'm half way there to be pretty
I'm half way there to be yours
but it seems too late
you want the other
not me
should I take 3 steps back from you?
should I back away to be away from you?
should I give up on you?
no more laugh
no more share our stories
in the midnight
in the pouring rain
"I'll start letting go of little things, until I'm so far away from you"
Imaani, 2021
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a deep pain
big trees falling of the wind
also my tears falling of those words
those words that hurt me
it cause me pain
a deep pain
it’s just a word
but it’s sharper than a knife
stabbing me deeper than a thorn
i have no words left to say
i'm frightened
“starting to think that I’ve lost all feeling”
but I have to stay
because I know things will get better
and I can fix it
yet I still feel devastated
can't get rid of this pain that fast
this deep pain feels like live forever
I tried to forgive
I tried to not think about it
I tried to let everything go by the flows
should I blame the devil in my shoulder?
or should I abide what the angel says about forgiveness?
will I be free?
if I forgive, am I not going to bear all this anymore?
Imaani, 2021
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Will I find the peace by this way?
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Maybe Russian Roulette true, I should take a breath and pull the trigger to myself.
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I can’t live like this. This is too much.
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This pain is so eternal. It lives like forever.
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When will this pain come to an end if I do not end this by myself.
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It’s hurt I just want to die.
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Hurt but get used to it.
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Dumb and Regret
My heart shattered again
The “no older notifications” are back
:I/m bleeding inside
I’m dealing with the regrets again
It’s always the regrets that come in the end
I’m abandoned my mental stability
And I’m taking it out on other people
Until he said “I’m done”
Now I can’t reverse what happened
The rose has withered
The heart has been pricked by thorns
Tears have fallen again
For all that I have said
For all that I have done
I’m sorry and really really sorry
Even though this sorry won’t make you back
I’m still here...
Now the universe has witnessed
The dumbest person on earth
Who dumped you
Who made you uncomfortable
Is me.
P.s. I’m still here waiting for you with tons of flowers on my heart, please take all of these for you.
—आदित्य dibaca: Aditya, 2020
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</3
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