most-ardently-yours

[most-ardently-yours]

some of you don’t watch pride and prejudice (2005) multiple times a year to cope with the fear that you’ll never find love and it shows

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Pride and Prejudice Inc.

A modern Pride and Prejudice retelling set at a college campus. 

Characters:

Mrs. Bennet: An academic honors advisor for business students who used to work in the industry. She loves her job and her students. Among her mentees are sisters Jane and Elizabeth Bennet. With no children of her own, Mrs. Bennet sees the students she advises as her own children.

Mr. Bennet: Mrs. Bennet’s husband who works at the university as a professor. Unlike his wife, Mr. Bennet does not care very deeply for his students and would rather spend his days writing his newest book. He has several connections from his past working in corporate positions, but rarely extends his contacts’ information to his students. 

Chapter 1

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single job recruiter in possession of a large opportunity, must be in want of a qualified and creative individual.

However little known the feelings or views of such woman may be on her first entering a college campus, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding academics, that the opportunity is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their students.

“My dear Mr. Bennet,” said his wife to him one day, “have you heard that one of the most promising companies in America will build a new branch in Mason this semester?”

Mr. Bennet replied that he had not. He opened his book and began reading.

“But it will,” returned she; “for Dr. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it.” 

Mr. Bennet, still reading, made no answer.

“Do you not want to know what company is coming here?” cried his wife impatiently. 

“You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.” 

This was invitation enough. 

“Why, my dear, you must know, Dr. Long says that the location is taken by a reputable company of large fortune from the north of Columbus; that he came down on Monday in a Lexus to see the place, and was so much delighted with it, that he agreed with Morris Real-estate immediately; that he is to take possession before the first day of autumn, and some of the company’s associates are to be in the facility by the end of next week.” 

“What is the company’s name?” 

“Bingley Enterprises.” 

“Are they looking for new employees?” 

“Oh! Yes, my dear, to be sure! A new company that took the market by storm; doubling in size in just a year. What a fine thing for our students!”  

“How so? How can it affect them?” 

“My dear Mr. Bennet,” replied his wife, “how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of them hiring one of them.” 

“Is that their design in coming here?” 

“Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that a recruiter may come by and be impressed by them, and therefore you, must visit him as soon as he comes.” 

“I see no occasion for that. You and your mentees may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as charming as any of them, Bingley Enterprises’ recruiter may like you the best of the group.” 

“My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of success, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now. When a woman quits her corporate job to become an advisor, she ought to give up thinking of her own advancement.” 

“In such cases, a woman has not often much advancement to think of.”

“But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Bingley Enterprise’s recruiter when he comes into the university.” 

“It is more than I engage for, I assure you.” 

“But consider your students. Only think what an opportunity it would be for one of them. Professor William and Dr. Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know, they visit no newcomers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for the team to meet him before the fair if you do not.” 

“You are overthinking this, surely. I dare say the recruiter will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his hiring whichever he chooses of the girls; though I must throw in a good word for Ms. Lizzy.” 

“I desire you will do no such thing. Lizzy is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so creative as Jane, nor half so personable as the rest of her peers. But you are always giving her the preference.” 

“They are frankly all quite ordinary,” replied he; “they are all good students and heavily involved like other girls; but Lizzy has something more of a passion than her peers.” 

“Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own students in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.” 

“You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least.” 

“Ah, you do not know what I suffer.” 

“But I hope you will get over it and live to see many reputable companies come to recruit here over the years.” 

“It will be no use to us, if twenty such companies should come, since you will not visit them.” 

“Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty, I will network with them all.” 

Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humor, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develop. She was an advisor of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her students careers; its solace was research and news.

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(insp.)

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How To Tell If You Are In A Jane Austen Book

found on the-toast.net

• Someone disagreeable is trying to persuade you to take a trip to Bath.

• Your father is absolutely terrible with money. No one has ever told him this.

• All of your dresses look like nightgowns.

• Someone disagreeable tries to persuade you to join a game of cards.

• A woman who hates you is playing the pianoforte.

• A picnic has gone horribly wrong.

• A member of the armed forces has revealed himself to be morally deficient.

• You once took a walk with a cad.

• Everyone in the neighborhood, including your mother, has ranked you and your sisters in order of hotness. You know exactly where you fall on the list.

• You say something arch yet generous about another woman both younger and richer than you.

• You have one friend; he is thirty years old and does business with your father and you are going to marry him someday.

• You attempt to befriend someone slightly above or slightly below your social station and are soundly punished for it.

• A girl you have only just met tells you a secret, and you despise her for it.

• You have five hundred a year. From who? Five hundred what? No one knows. No one cares. You have it. It’s yours. Every year. All five hundred of it.

• There are three men in your life: one true love, one tempting but rakish acquaintance, and a third distant possibility — he is courteous and attentive but only slightly interested in you. He is almost certainly the cousin or good friend of your true love, and nothing will ever happen between you two.

• A woman who is not your mother treats you like her own daughter. Your actual mother is dead or ridiculous.

• You develop a resentment at a public dance.

• Someone you know has fallen ill. Not melodramatically ill, just interestingly so.

• A man proposes to you, then to another, lesser woman when you politely spurn him. This delights you to no end.

• A charming man attempts to flirt with you. This is terrible.

• You have become exceedingly ashamed of what your conduct has been.

• A shocking marriage of convenience takes place within your social circle two-thirds of the way in.

• A woman in an absurd hat is being an absolute bitch to you; there is nothing you can do about it.

• You are in a garden, and you are astonished.

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Mr Darcy, probably: Do you know who I think is the ugliest girl in Longbourn? That Elizabeth Bennet. You know what I'd give her on a scale of one to ten, with one as the ugliest and ten as the prettiest? I'd give her an 8... 8.5... or a 9... but not... NOT over a 9.8. Because there is always room for improvement. Not everyone is perfect, like me. I'm holding out for a 10. Because I'm worth it.

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I can’t believe the 2005 pride & prejudice completely understood that the ONLY correct characterization for Darcy was having him look mortifyingly uncomfortable in literally every situation he’s placed in. his body language is just. horrifying. this man wants to crawl into a hole. not to mention he’s like 6 and a half feet tall which is just. he’s so uncomfortably Large that you can’t ignore him even though he Desperately Wants You To Ignore Him. thank GOD they didn’t try any of that Dashing Gentleman bullshit. awkward nerd is the only correct Darcy.

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Mr. Darcy: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when I do it I’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on’.

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“Mr Darcy is not a romantic hero. He’s a socially inept nerd,” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off the stage in shame, when a voice commands silence from the room.

“She’s right.” I look to the owner of the voice. There in the 5th row stands: Elizabeth Bennet herself.

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Charlotte: *Tells Elizabeth that she’s engaged to Mr. Collins*

Elizabeth:

Charlotte:

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In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice