moth-the-man

[moth-the-man]

My gleeful vampire

[moth-the-man]

This may be the worst use of LLMs anyone has attempted, ever. Up there with recognizing mushrooms.

[moth-the-man]

stoned and autistic at a party trying to make conversation: I find the comparative lifespan of organisms so interesting. Spiders are comparatively long lived animals. Female black widows can live up to 3 years but their male counterparts rarely live four months. Some tarantulas live upwards of 20 years. The longest lived spider was around 43 years old when she was cruelly assassinated by a parasitic wasp. Domestic rats have a lifespan comparable to female black widows. To put things into perspective, there are spiders that remember a pre-pandemic world but it is likely every rat on earth was born post-COVID. There could be a spider out there born when Reagan was in office.

[moth-the-man]

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

[moth-the-man]

the paul mccartney is dead conspiracy theory is the funniest thing in the world because i feel like if he did die and the beatles did replace him like parents replace a gold fish and the new guy managed to look exactly like him and play left handed bass, piano, and vocals in the same style and produce the same quality of music consistently for 30+ years then it'd be honestly rude to mention it at that point. like he's earned it let him have it

[moth-the-man]

the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

[moth-the-man]

you can be both employed & way too online. it’s called “posting on the clock,” and actually, it’s praxis.

[moth-the-man]

Did a brand new kind of bowling shot today

we called it the "trust the Force Luke" shot or the "through God all things are possible" shot

[moth-the-man]

i hope luigi mangione is proven innocent & gets to sue a ton of companies for slander and win & i hope he gets enough money to rebuild his life and get any help for his chronic pain that he needs & i hope he’s able to disappear from the public eye entirely if that’s what he wants

[moth-the-man]

if mario was trapped in a cave for generations he would gradually become pale and lose his eyes and start hunting for fish and centipedes by sonar but he wouldnt lose his overalls or hat

[moth-the-man]

im at th parking lot attacking people with chains & scythes & shit

[moth-the-man]

can you guys stop fighting over the same peice of lettuce. there is literally more right behind you

Don't get involved in things you don't understand

[moth-the-man]

i bought my friend who plays heihachi a figurine i saw at gamestop and he bought a display cabinet for it

[moth-the-man]

Made it all the way to work and realized I forgot my cyanide pill in case of capture

[moth-the-man]

Made it all the way to work and realized I forgot my cyanide pill in case of capture

[moth-the-man]

Made it all the way to work and realized I forgot my cyanide pill in case of capture