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First family movie date

Victor always wanted to bring Miro to a movie house, but I was less enthusiastic about the idea, thinking that the little one might just get bored, or would throw a tantrum. After saying “no” to quite a number of movies, I finally gave in yesterday. We watched the latest installment of “Pirates of the Caribbean”. Two things surprised me. One, I did not know that a three-year old pays the full price for a movie ticket! Hah, movie dates will be more expensive from now on. Two, Miro was generally behave throughout the movie, except, of course, for the occasional “Papa is watching the t.v.”; “Mama let’s go to the finish” (his way of saying stop watching already, let’s go out); and “Cookie” (which means he wants to eat). Towards the end and after his snack, he was tired and sleepy. He quietly rested his head on his Papa’s shoulder and dozed off. That was a milestone. I’m so looking forward to more family movie dates, albeit the fact that they’re not going to cost less than PhP800. 

I heard and read it so many times that we can never underestimate our kids. I was reminded of this again yesterday. Miro understood that we were in a place where many people were “watching the t.v.”, and that he was supposed to be quite and keep his cool.   

[motherhoodstatements]

Motherhood has taught me the art of quick showers.

Motherhood Statements by Emma Lynn Dadap-Cantal

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Stroller

Dunay gagmay, duna po’y dagko

Dunay mahal, duna po’y barato

Ang uban mano-manohon gyud pagpiko

Ang uban pindot-pindoton lang sa tudlo.

Apan nagduha-duha lang ko gihapon

Kung sakto ba ang among desisyon

Sa pagpalit og stroller nga mahalon

Nga wa gyud mapusli hangtod karon.

Sa malls ug simbahan mabantayan

Dagha’ng mga bata gipangpas-an

Mga strollers giguyod na lang

Uban gihimong kargahanan.

Ang eksena pamilyar kaayo

Kaniadto’ng gamay pa si Miro

Samtang bana nagkugos sa among liwat

Nagguyod ko sa stroller nga makabughat.

Ay ambot pod ning among palangga

Sa puya pa pirmi lang pakarga

Karon kay makalakaw naman

Stroller samot na’ng nakalimtan.

Mao’ng mga nanay ug tatay

Angayan lang maghinay-hinay

Ang kahinam dili palabian

Aron sa gasto dili madak-an.

[motherhoodstatements]

Postpartum

Akong ilong, lisngag lang gihapon

Dughan ug buy-on, susama na’ng gidak-on.

Sa samin, pirmi’ng naglikay-likay

Kay batian gyud ko’s ako’ng dagway.

Hala naglabad akong ulo

Kulang lang ba sa tulog, o gikanser nako?

Unsaon nalang kung sayo ko mamatay

Kaluoy ni Miro mawad-an og nanay.

Ngano’ng wa pa man mi-text akong bana

Taod-taod na sya’ng naabot sa opisina.

Aduna ba kaha’y sekreto’ng gikatabo

O nadisgrasya, simbako, palayo.

Kabalaka, kakulba, ug kaguol

Walay adlaw nga dili maghagulhol.

Dili gyud tiaw nga kasinatian

Ang postpartum anxiety sa usa ka inahan.

Apan tanang sakripisyo makalimtan

Daling mapapas sa panumduman

Kung anak mag “beautiful eyes” na

O ba kaha molitok na og “mama”. 

[motherhoodstatements]

Preparing for baby’s coming

I learned that I was pregnant on May 1, 2013. I remember that day very well. In the morning, just before I took a pregnancy test, the mister told me that I was just delayed. I could not blame him because I did a preg test three days before, and it came out negative.

I was both excited and nervous as the second line slowly appeared. I was going to be a mother. We were going to be parents. I could not tell how Victor felt on that day. He didn’t tell me, and I didn’t bother asking him. But like me, he must also be feeling excited and a bit nervous. He suggested that I do another test just to be sure. I complied. I did another test in the afternoon, and still, I got two red lines. Since then, our life has changed forever.

Here are some of the things that I/we did to prepare for baby’s coming:

We never missed a prenatal check-up. Yes, “we” because Victor made sure to be with me in almost all of these check-ups. The importance of prenatal care has been discussed and known well enough, but briefly, it helps reduce the risk of complications on one’s pregnancy and on the baby. For starters, read here. If you miss your appointment, make sure to set another one. Also, write down your concerns and questions. That’s what we did because we tend to forget them during the appointments

I took the supplements that our obstetrician-gynecologist (OB-GYNE) prescribed. I was (and still am) good at following instructions, and so I only took what she prescribed. I took folic acid for the first trimester, then a multivitamin and a calcium supplement from the second trimester until I gave birth.

We read books and online articles about pregnancy, parenthood, and baby care. A word of caution, though: the Internet abounds with so much information, and so you need to be critical. Don’t accept right away what you’ll read. In our case, we didn’t just take pieces of information or advice from a single source. we read at least three references, or asked our OB-GYNE.

We talked to friends and relatives who had been pregnant and/or have taken care of a baby. Like my previous point, our loved ones could provide us so much information, at times contradictory, in other times non-scientific/superstitious. Again, you must be critical. Verify by reading up on the relevant topic, or ask your doctor.

I ate healthy as much as I could. Eating healthy means having more fruits and vegetables, and less meat, fatty food, and sweets. I have to admit that eating healthy was a challenge during the first trimester because I was always nauseated and could only take bread, pizza, and Mentos. But I did try eating healthy during the second and third trimesters.

I exercised. I did prenatal yoga and a lot of the household chores. It has been proven that exercise helps shorten labor and delivery. Well, I wouldn’t really know because I didn’t go through labor. But I won’t get into this here. I’ll save it for a later blog. Suffice it to say that exercising and being on the move helped me feel good about myself and my pregnancy, which was important at a time when my body was expanding and getting heavier by the day. A guide to exercising while pregnant may be found here.

We waited until the third trimester to buy baby stuff. This was because we knew that friends and family would give us gifts or their pre-loved stuff. This way, we made sure that we only bought the things that we lacked. Also, we didn't shop everything at once because doing so would have us spend a huge amount in one go. Instead, we shopped a few things at a time. This did not only help us with the budget, but also gave us the chance to evaluate what we shopped, helping us identify which brands or stores suited our preferences. 

[motherhoodstatements]

Gyne matters

I used to think that I’d have difficulty conceiving, what with all the gyne challenges I had from the moment I first had my period. I dealt with hormonal imbalance from my teens through my early 20s. I remember having really heavy periods, which did not seem to stop. Some days I had to use diapers to contain the heavy flow. An obvious consequence of this was anemia. Apart from hormonal pills, I also took iron supplement. The imbalance began slipping away the moment I started losing weight, thanks to my decision to exercise and eat healthier food. Just a background, this five-footer was 136 pounds back then. I was way heavier for my height. The imbalance was completely gone once I reached my ideal weight.

And then, in my mid-20s to my early 30s, I had endometriosis. I knew something was wrong with me because I had periods so painful that I sometimes passed out. But I was too lazy to see my gynecologist. I kept passing it off as being caused by stress at work, or as being hereditary (Mama also had painful periods). But in one instance, the pain had become unbearable. I dragged myself to the emergency room. I had a transvaginal ultrasound, and learned that I had two huge cysts in both my ovaries. I was prescribed hormonal pills, and was made to undergo transvaginal ultrasound every three months. Apart from the pills, I also made sure to eat healthy. A year since I checked in the ER, the cysts were gone. I was happy, and swore that I would maintain the healthy lifestyle that I started. But I got busy pursuing my dreams. I got a scholarship to study another MA abroad. I was occupied with readings, exams, papers, and thesis. The healthy lifestyle took a back seat. I know, I know. I was supped to strike a balance between wellness and school/work, but I never managed to do that. I stopped exercising, and ate whatever I felt like eating, which, by the way, was heavy on the sugary side (e.g. chocolates, ice cream, and pastries).

Fast forward to the time when Victor and I decided to live together, meaning, I would join him in Bangkok, I decided to see my gynecologist, who, I must mention, is like a big sister to me. I did not feel anything wrong, actually. I just wanted to make sure that I was healthy should Victor and I decide to get pregnant. My pap test result came back okay, but my transvaginal ultrasound result showed that the cysts were back. My gyne also noticed that I was underweight (I was only 92 pounds). She didn’t put me on the pill. She said that she would only recommend treatment after a year of trying to conceive. As for my weight, she advised me to stopped my intense cardio exercises (I regularly ran and did aerobics at that time), and should settle with walking. I followed her advice.

Thank God, I got pregnant right away...after the first try (woot, woot). Miro is a full-term baby. He weighed 3.45 kgs at birth.

I know that a lot of women are scared to see gynecologists. I used to be scared, too. But based on experience, my worry is bigger than the real “problem”. The benefits of seeing your gyne regularly outweigh the costs. For one, if, after your appointment, you’ll know everything is well, you can pat yourself on the back and celebrate. But if something is wrong, you can act on it as early as possible. The quote, “what you don’t know won’t hurt you”, does not apply in this case because eventually, the health challenge will manifest itself. And in some instances, it would be too late to treat.

The processes and tools of gyne check-ups could also be intimidating. I’ve only experienced breast ultrasound, internal examination (IE), pap test, and transvaginal ultrasound. So far, I didn’t find them painful. Uncomfortable, for sure, but not painful. If you are really scared, I suggest that you bring a friend, a relative, or your significant other who could give you moral support (yes, moral support means a lot in such times as when you’re opening your legs and feeling so exposed and vulnerable).

I would also suggest, especially for sexually active women, to see a gynecologist at least once a year, even if you feel okay. In my case, I never thought something was wrong until I got that ultrasound result indicating that my cysts came back. For starters, here’s a good short read on Why and when to see a gynecologist?

Let me add that it pays to keep track of your period and other gyne symptoms you’ve had (e.g. cramps, heavy period, unusual bleeding, etc.). This is because the gyne will ask you about these stuff during your visit. Okay, okay, you don’t need to recall your period in the last six or twelve months. You can start with your last period. If that’s not possible, then start with your next period. In my case, I simply take note of the start and end dates, plus the symptoms that came along. I use a mobile app for this. You can choose from a wide variety of options. Or, you can choose to write in a notebook. Just make sure that you update your notes every month. 

Lastly, as much as possible, choose a gynecologist with whom you feel comfortable. You must have good communication with your gyne. This means that it shouldn’t just be him/her talking to you and giving you pieces of advice. You should also be able to ask questions and talk about your concerns. Back in the Philippines, I was (and still am) blessed with a gynecologist who is also a good friend. Here in Bangkok, I  did some research and a bit of trial and error. I didn’t feel comfortable with the first gyne that I saw. Without hesitation, I decided to look for another one. With further research and prayer, I was led to my current motherly gyne.

So ladies, skip the shopping, or Starbucks even for a month. Instead, save up the money for your gyne appointment and the necessary tests. I promise, it will be worth it. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Note: Please click on the underlined terms for further readings/references.

[motherhoodstatements]

Motherhood means doing my pedicure one toe at a time. It takes me half a day to finish.

Motherhood Statements by Emma Lynn Dadap-Cantal

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Hello tumblr. It's been a while. :) 

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it's a boy! hihihihi the husband is happy.

[motherhoodstatements]

Like Dad

More and more, I am convinced that our baby has the same taste as his/her Dad. Now that I am pregnant, I find myself liking, sometimes craving, some food that Victor likes and that I considered to be so-so pre-pregnancy. Examples include monggo beans, ginataang kalabasa, tinola, utan bisaya and sopas. Oh well, this should make me happy because these dishes are healthy.

I wonder if our little one would be interested in drawing like his/her Dad, or singing like me?!!! This mom-to-be is really excited, eh.

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Victor&Em

[motherhoodstatements]

I've never been good at maintaining any of my blogs. My constant excuse is that I'm busy. But who isn't busy, right? The truth is, I'm just really lazy to write. If not for fear of failing and later, of losing my job, I don't think I would write those essays and research papers in school and those project proposals and reports at work.

Since my fifth week of pregnancy, I've just been at home most days. Obviously, finding a job has become more difficult. I thought I would have the time (translate the will) to write, but nada! In fact, I've found myself generally lazy, meaning, lazy to do even the most basic things like taking a shower, brushing my teeth and combing my hair. Before you say I'm gross, let me explain that I do these things, of course. It's just that they've become like a chore when they're supposed to be effortless and natural. Crazy, I know.

The laziness has waned, though, starting on my 13th week. I find myself doing more things as my pregnancy progresses. Just to give you an idea, three milestones happened to me and Victor. First, we tied the knot last July 24! The celebration was rather small, low-key, yet super fun. We had a dozen or so of our friends to witness and share the joy with us. Second, I will soon have my dependent visa. The requirements have been filed. This means baby and I need not exit the country anymore. Victor and I are scheduled to appear in the Immigration Office next Friday, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well. Third, we moved in to another apartment. It doesn't really sound like a milestone, but it is to the pregnant me. The unit has a homey aura which is very conducive for the baby. It's smaller than the previous one, but it's clearer, newer and better-lit. A mother doesn't want a dusty, old and gloomy place for her little one hehehe. 

My next ultrasound is on the 22nd. The doctor said that we would know the gender of our baby by then. I'm so excited. Victor wants a boy not because he thinks a boy is better than a girl, but because he's an unico hijo...the only boy among four siblings. I understand him. He wants a mini him haha. I don't mind which gender, really. I just want a healthy, happy, bright and bouncing baby.

[motherhoodstatements]

Jennifer Holliday - And I am telling you I'm not going (1982)

I've been singing this song for two weeks now. Of course, I couldn't get the high parts, but who cares, I love this song! <3 

My love for singing has tripled, er quadrupled, now that I'm pregnant. There hasn't been a week without me singing my favorite videoke/karaoke songs. Thanks to YouTube!

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Hello first trimester

Motherhood is, indeed, no easy feat. For a number of us, the challenge starts as early as the first trimester. Those who experienced morning sickness and all the other first trime symptoms could surely resonate with me. And by the way, it shouldn’t have been called “morning sickness” because in my case, it’s “all day sickness” which worsens late in the afternoon all through the rest of the evening.

My day usually starts with sharp hunger. Yeah, it may sound a bit exaggerated, but that’s exactly how I can describe it. I wake up really feeling very hungry, but could not really eat much because (almost) everything tastes or smells awful. Also, the fuller I get, the more nauseated I become. And then, I’ll have small snacks. The advice is that preggers should eat fruits or saltine biscuits, but I don’t find them helpful with the nausea and honestly, they’re boring. Mentos and sometimes cakes and candies have been my life savers. I know they’re not healthy, but they help me survive at this point in my pregnancy. The thing is, I neither liked Mentos and candies, nor was I cake-aholic before I got pregnant.

Another symptom I find weird is my intolerance to certain smells. Unfortunately, the constant victim is my boyfriend. Oh how I dislike his perfume which, to recall, I chose for him. Well, to tell you honestly, I didn’t like his natural smell for a time. You know what they say about that natural smell every person has which his/her loved one (partner, kid) gets accustomed to? Yeah, that smell I didn’t like for a time. Poor Victor, he must have thought I love him less, but really, it’s this little person in my tummy dictating me which smell to like and dislike. I’m glad, though that my sense of smell is slowly getting back to “normal”. Now I can hug Victor without covering my nose as long as he doesn’t wear his perfume hahaha.

Another thing, I always feel the need to take a nap. I sleep seven to eight hours every night, but I still feel sleepy all the time. I keep myself busy as much as possible, otherwise, I’ll spend the rest of the day sleeping. And here’s a rather gross revelation…I don’t like to take a bath and brush my teeth. If only it was permissible to skip both, they would never ever figure in my routine now that I’m pregnant. I don’t like the feel of the water on my skin. I don’t like the smell of my soap, shampoo and conditioner, and I despise the aftertaste of toothpaste…any toothpaste. God knows how many times I changed our soap and toothpaste in the span of 11 weeks.

Thankfully, my food cravings have been manageable. Once in a while, I crave for Filipino food, e.g. pan de sal, ensaimada, saging sab-a, but I don’t make a fuss if we couldn’t find them here (in Bangkok). Also, I never craved for meat or chicken. Fish, definitely, but not meat or chicken. Amazingly, I find myself liking Victor’s favorite Filipino food, e.g. tinola, utan bisaya, munggos which we could readily cook and which I found so-so pre-pregnancy.

Ahhhh I could enumerate more symptoms, but my tummy is grumbling—-my baby is hungry. Before I have my snack, let me clarify that this post is not a rant or a complaint. I’m simply sharing with you the challenging, yet sweet first steps of my journey to motherhood. Ciao.

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The little person on the moon! 

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When I signed up for Tumblr, I thought most of my posts would be about my kitchen experiments (am learning vegan/vegetarian cooking) and my life here in BKK. I was wrong. A few days after I created this account, I found out I am pregnant. Yeah \m/

So I guess from now on, most of my posts would be about my and Victor’s journey to parenthood and, of course, about our little one.

Speaking of our little one, he/she had his/her first (ultrasound) photo last May 25. He/she is so cute. His/her rather pronounced head makes him/her look like a little “man on the moon” hehe. I can’t wait to share that photo here. 

[motherhoodstatements]

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34