motheyes
8K posts
this is where i dump all my thoughts and lists and vents and random shit. don’t reblog anything plz. i’m 23 (dni if ur a minor) sometimes nsfw
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store list
-meds
-windsheild wiper fluid
-toilet cling
-spray for bathroom
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it's also so hard knowing when to trust and when to listen and who to trust and when
#i hate the complexity of relationships in the work sense#the way people communicate and the he said she said#it's so overwhelming for me and so hard to know when to trust someone#who is lying and who isnt? or are both people just having a hard time?#maybe they are bad a communicating. maybe they are in the wrong#i just don't know#it's so hard makes me feel so frustrated
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also a lot of drama and stupid shit at work is ruining me mentally
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the pain i deal with on a daily basis seriously makes me fucking depressed
#when i have bad days it's just like#it feels like the last straw everytime#after everything else. i'm also in pain#no matter if i lay or stand or sit#god forbid i try to do anything after work#it's like my body gets destroyed everyday and i never have time to fully recover#i walked a lot a few days ago at an event i was really looking forward to#but it has made my life hell since then#just aching and pain and exhaustion#it's so so so hard#i feel so broken. i feel like i can only do this for some much longer before i breakdown
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my half chronic fatigue diagnosis has literally sent me spiraling
#all my tests came back good so it's most likely chronic fatigue / fibro#and it's like genuinely making me so depressed#i thought it would be nice to finally get a diagnosis but i'm just really fucking sad#it'll be like this forever#just wanna cry my eyes out
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ok i'm gunna turn off my brain and play animal crossing
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i hope none of the stuffies i'm not taking on my trip don't feel bad or miss me :(
#only taking two . my two very precious babies#oh actually three one is clipped to my carry on :/)#also bringing my pillow and bankie because they are my ultimate comfort#really hate to say it but i feel like im forgetting something ....#we don't even leave tomorrow but i have so much to do that im nervous ill forget something
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getting that feeling like i'm small and scared
#going away from home is hard for me#plus being away from my gf for ten days is a lot#my autism got me acting up fr.#i think i'll be fine in the long run like my excited and ist only 5 days#just a lot#ok i think im gunna try to sleeeeeep
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driving home after work is sooooo nice
#perfect time of the evening#and i can distinctly smell when the bogs are nearby#i love that smell#wet and warm and earthy it's so nice#i
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i love summer nights with the window open and fan blowing it's so nice
#i'm feeling really crazy being alone tho#i feel weird#some of it is nice like i'm very used to being alone#but it's kinda sad. idk i feel a lot more like reserved#i'm all to myself
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i'm so tired omg.
#tomorrow is my last day and then tuesday i'm doing some stuff and then wednesday we leave!!#yippee!
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