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Went to take this picture of this insane bigfoot sex sign and only after opening my camera did i notice the entire flock of little chickens chilling in the dirt. life is good again

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Diversity win! Ancestral curse recognises non-biological parenthood!

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Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

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and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

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i don’t know how to explain to you people that no matter what a country’s government is like i do not and will not support the US indiscriminately bombing that country’s civilians and i don’t know why that’s a controversial take tbh

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I have some news for members of the united states armed forces who feel like they are pawns in a political game and their assignments being unnecessary.

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I CRACK SUMMER OPEN LIKE AN EGG AND I FRY IT WITH A BIT OF BUTTER AND SOP UP ITS GOLDEN YOLK WITH TOAST AND ITS ALL WARM ALL SALT ALL THE TIME !

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The Sketch, London, February 7, 1912

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I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

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Why is this heat so hot 😩

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