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A rookie mistake is getting out of things by claiming a grandparent died. You can do that a maximum of four times per person, and that's assuming maximum social atomization, where nobody you know is likely to talk to each other and compare notes and realize that five of your grandmothers have died of carbon monoxide poisoning in the last three months. The winning play? Dead Uncles. You can have any number of dead uncles, because who knows how many siblings your parents have? You don't even need to keep the stories straight because if you slip up you can claim it was two separate uncle deaths. You can repeat names, even, one on each side of your family. Uncles often die in memorable ways so you can get flamboyant with the specifics. Motorcycle accidents, firework explosions, prostate cancer, rottweiler training mishap. It won't be that weird that you aren't particularly torn up about it. Maybe you didn't like your Uncle

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Fresh off the market this ->🐕 little dog now only $4.99! Get in quick!

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every part of living as a person in 2025 feels like fighting a losing battle. and you’re supposed to just get on with it or you’re weird

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reblog to give prev a bisexual pride marble

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there's something really argumentatively fun about being into traditional roguelikes as someone who, more generally, enjoys rpgs n the whole. any time someone tries to pull hipster seniority on you over a complaint about trends in more recent rpgs by pointing out how things were in early 2000s and 90s rpgs, you can just drop the false floor out and drag the conversation window back to the 80s

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Pee changing color depending on ur hydration is very intuitive game desigm

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Get this through your thick skull! *psychic attack* *psychic attack* *psychic attack* *psychic attack* *psychic attack*

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i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.

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hey, my wraith saw you from across the dungeon and wanted to know if he was cool to touch you with his long-ass skeletal ice finger

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Get your crumbs up. Get your nothing up.

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in college back in 2018 i still didn't have a smart phone yet and they introduced DUO two-factor authentication and I carried one of the physical "clickers" because I couldn't use the phone app. I remember classmates being unable to participate in class or print assignments at the library even with school desktop computers because they left their phones ate home by accident or their phones died so they couldn't login to their school profiles.

professors started doing those kahoots quiz games for attendance points and I told them I couldn't participate because I didn't have a smart phone.

one of my professors scoffed in front of the whole class and said, "are you serious?" i said "are you going to pay for my data plan?"

he relented because he had to and every single day he had to print out a little physical quiz for me to take while everyone else did kahoots. it was so funny bc it was a lecture hall with like 150 students. he gave up after like 3 times and just counted me present.

at work i refuse to have a single work-related app on a phone they aren't paying for so they always have to order me the physical "clickers" for double authentication and they act like I'm pouring concrete in their shoes about it lmaoo

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Akira Fudo!

Art by: marshmallow_tentacle (@oldbeardrink)

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I saw this post on tiktok and as soon as I opened the comments I started sobbing

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*becomes a vtuber and does nothing but play solitaire on stream for 5 hours straight without winning a single game*

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Someone was asking in a thread what kind of people could work for ICE right now.

I think it's a good time to remember that the image above are the people who put children into gas chambers.

When I was little, I asked what kind of person could work at a concentration camp.

The answer to both questions I think is "normal people who have accepted the dehumanization of another group of people."

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if i can just manage to never be alone for a single waking instant for the rest of my life maybe everything will be okay.