mottot - Tumblr blog

[mottot]

Just an idea of mine

-Do you think not knowing our names is a good thing?- I asked with fear, thinking that I will show signs of judgment towards our secrets. -What would it change if we knew each other's names? We would be someone, described by others. I looked at her and didn't know what was this feeling. Maybe disagreement?Anger? But yet everything she says is true. Like she knows what it means to forget your value and be a definition of ordinary. -Will I know your name one day? Her body slightly shifted and she reached out her hand towards the falling drops of golden tears of gods, who envy mortals, as she loved to say once in a while. The look on her face was calm and wise. She always smiled, although that smile represented loneliness in my eyes. She was quiet for a while. Like a goddess, silently laughing at the gift of knowing nothing, that was given to me. And then she spoke: -Agapi. -Agapi?- my mind was touched with a word, that felt dear to me. -Agapi. That is your name. I will know you, call you and turn to you knowing that you are Agapi, a person who wishes to know me. She gave me a name. A name that felt...true? -T-then, can I give you a name too?- I replied, looking at those ocean eyes, that were lightly covered by her brown hair. She nodded: -What do you wish to call me, my sweet Agapi? -Thea. Her eyes widened. As if I said something, that was forbidden to know.

-So be it, my dear Agapi....we finally introduced ourselves.

[mottot]

Maybe a bit more about the writer,and those who want to be understood :)(

I don't know what I want in life anymore. Happiness? Freedom? Love? I am lost, I won't deny it. Lost, like I never was. Everyone is living, laughing, seeing their goals become reality like it is meant for them. And I. Me. I just want peace. Reassurance, that I can wake up tomorrow, today, and the rest of my sorrowful days, that are gifted to me through unknown purpose, without regret and worry. I can wake up, without wanting to die. Not being left on my own. I want peace within myself. Freedom, so that my mind can finally rest and be, how those romance books describe one when you finally can be with them.

I like living. In fact, I love it. Deep down of course. I crave nothing more, than to be alive, well in body, and soul loved and cherished. I think everyone wants this. Just to find a way to live.

[mottot]

Just A Wish

I stood high...high enough, to feel the clouds whisper in my ear. Gently, with no intention to scare me away. I stood high...high enough to see everyone who killed me. They were so small, but their hatred did not compare. I stood high...high enough to be kissed by the wind. Warmly, with the massage of pity, and heartbreak. I stood high...high enough to see the day break one last time. Quietly, with peace in my mind, and broken soul, that cried for nothing. I stood...one last time I stood.

I let myself see for the last time. "The world didn't do anything wrong... It never would have. You...You made it to be pure...internal...loving. Created it, to give us one last time. Don't punish the wild. Don't punish the mother's beauty. Don't punish the people. We will see our own end, as we create it. That is our punishment. Living. You didn't make a mistake. You are wise, my love. You are here. Even now, you are listening to me telling you to forgive me. I believe in you. Always and forever. Don't sorrow that you lost me. Don't sorrow that you have to watch me be one with the stars. Forgive me, for wanting to go home. Forgive me for wanting to be someone else. Forgive me for making you cry, in a form of a calming storm. I loved you when you were near me. I loved you when you taught me to be me. When you listened to my stories like a best friend would. I am grateful, that you never left me alone. Not a single minute, not a single second. Forgive those, who hate me for dying. Forgive those, who hate me for loving freely. Forgive those, who hate me for begging to be the one who I envy the beauty off. Forgive me, for trying to live. They are just humans - cursed to destroy themselves"

I fell...fell from this world. I thought...thought one last time: "I just wanted to be free here. I wanted to give my all. Soul, mind, body...everything I lived for...just to be with you. Don't cry, my dearest...one day, you will shine. Happily and safely, with those, who deserve to be with you. Who cried and fought for you. I may be a coward, but I am saying my last hopes, because I loved you more, than you ever could have loved me back."

I breathed...breathed for the last time, to let you live.