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you ever have just like, a really bad idea

anyways if you like bad things here’s a postcard

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*says a fact in a conversation and a wikipedia citation appears next to my head*

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As much as I want Zagreus to be a bossfight in Hades 2 I think it would be so much funnier if his dad gets locked up and all of a sudden he’s in charge and it is not going well

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This is funny as fuck-flightless bird, motherfucker

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Apparently minecraft announced they would add fireflies to the game, but then removed them completely from in-game existence because they are poisonous to frogs in real life.  Unrelated but anyone ever given a minecraft parrot a cookie

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20 years ago if I posted a bug or a worm literally anywhere there'd be comments about it being ugly and disgusting and today in most places the comments will be like "effervescent" and "trying hims best" so some things about society can get better really, just try to remember that for pictures of people as well

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Martin, you didn’t tell me what you did for a living- Yes, I did. You didn’t tell me what you did for a living for four sessions. Then you told me and I said, “I don’t wanna work with you”. And yet you come back every week at the same time. That’s a difficulty for me.

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One time years ago I was in the elevator of my work building and this guy got on. He was breathing hard and looked a little crazed, and he went and stood behind me and took out his cell phone, and when some dude does that and you’re a not very burly femme-presenting person alone in an elevator you tend to go on alert, so I was paying a LOT of attention when he said, “Hi, it’s me. The doctor says it isn’t cancer. He says it’s another spleen.” Then the elevator reached the ground floor and the doors opened and he ran out like he was on fire.

Please go on this journey with me. The doctor said it wasn’t cancer. It was another spleen.

So the guy leaves the elevator and I’m just, you know, my day just didn’t recover. And I kept thinking about it and thinking about it. And on my last day at that job, I was in the elevator riding down at the end of my workday with my little box of office supplies, and HE GETS ON THE ELEVATOR AGAIN WITH ME. He looks much less crazed. We were again alone. I may have dreamed the whole thing.

Because, look. I worked in a skyscraper in downtown San Francisco. There were hundreds of people in my building, spread across twenty floors. The odds of me seeing him again after that first time were nuts. And I hadn’t stopped playing that conversation over in my mind. So I thought, fuck it.

Me: “Hi, uh, so listen. A couple months ago you were on this elevator? And you made a phone call?”

Him, slightly wary: “Okay?”

Me: “So I didn’t mean to listen in but you know, this is close quarters.”

Him, flat: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “So I heard you telling someone that the doctor said it wasn’t cancer, it was another spleen. And like, it’s none of my business, but today’s my last day in this building and I will never have another chance, so I have to ask. WHO in your life has a second spleen?”

The guy looked at me for a second, and then he burst out laughing, and he said, “Oh, yeah, that was my dog.”

This is the second weirdest thing that has ever happened to me and I think about it every damn day.

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SAD….

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every time staff tries to make this website more hostile to posting the posts get better

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The tone difference in foraging guides between native plants and invasive plants is literally so funny to read

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I used to be a grader and an occasional substitute prof for an introductory astronomy lab. That means that the majority of the people in this lab are only taking it because it’s a requirement and about half of them think it’s an astrology class.

I was grading midterms and this one girl. She was so nice and I think she was a business major. Fuck. The question on the midterm was to draw a diagram of the solar system and this poor girl. This fucking girl had drawn a Mars-centric solar system. As in every planet and the sun were orbiting Mars. I now actually have a custom Cards Againsy Humanity card I got at a con that says “A Mars-centric solar system”

I had a boy argue with me that there was liquid water on the moon (this was around when they had found liquid water on Mars in ~2015) and he wouldn’t believe me that he likely meant Mars and not the moon. After I marked his answer to the relevant lab question wrong, he took it to the department head who had promptly laughed him out of the office.

And there was another boy who, during a lab in our observatory where we would look at certain things in the sky, asked where the sun was. At 10pm in November. After some questioning it was revealed that he thought the moon and the sun were the same thing.

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that ‘pakige?’ post but me, a couple hours after posting a fic, like ‘comints?’

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happy birthday, Megumi