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Gendered parenting is so weird. As a little kid I was a total daddy's girl, I was told I would always try to sneak the garage, I was always very interested in everything he was doing and would follow him around while he was working, but while my family was never the type to outright say "you can't do that because you're a girl", they simply didn't entertain the idea that I could possibly be interested in cars. Then when my little brother was born, it was just assumed he would become a mechanic like our dad because he was a boy. Even though he, unlike me, didn't like being in the garage much and wasn't all that interested in what dad was doing. Once he got to a certain age, dad started making him help and would drag him away from his actual interests for it, which lead to a lot of arguing and not much actual learning.

Gendered expectations sort of create doubles of children. There's the real child with their actual personality, interests and behaviors, and then there's the Gender Child.

My real brother hated soccer and team sports. The Gender Child that existed only the minds of the adults in his life enjoyed playing soccer because that's what a Boy Child likes.

Growing up, I always felt like adults didn't actually know me as a person and they weren't interested in getting to know me. Because they felt they'd already learned everything there was to know about me when they were told "it's a girl".

When I talk about how I never got gifts I actually liked from my relatives (to this day I still don't like getting gifts that aren't something I picked out myself), it isn't actually about the gifts themselves. I don't even remember them. What I do remember is the feeling of being given gifts that were seemingly not bought with the real me in mind. They were for the Girl Child™️ version of me. The me that adults wanted me to be, not who I actually was.

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In Romeo and Juliet, Mercutio called Tybalt "Prince of Cats" because there was a book, popular at the time, with a cat prince named Tybalt in it. He was making a pop culture reference. Therefore, I move, that in a modern Romeo and Juliet retelling, Tybalt should be named Garfield.

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Switching between these every day

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Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Mississippi, May 10, 1938

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https://twitter.com/onlyyagirl_

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Unicorns and Horror

In 2004, my father walked into a blockbuster with me, hand in hand, and pointed out a movie that would change the trajectory of my entire life; a movie that would become so beloved, so near and dear to my heart that the characters and my favorite quote from it are now displayed prominently on my arm forever. He pointed it out because there was a pretty cartoon unicorn on the front and I was VERY into horses at the time.

I was 6.

That movie was The Last Unicorn.

Now, arguably, no 6 year old should ever watch The Last Unicorn, as it is very pithy and very old and above all else, very dark. In fact, most reviews recommend you wait until your children are at least 8 to scar them with it. But what's done is done, and I am forever happier for it.

That movie took the magic horsey all good little girls are meant to love immediately, and treated it like it wasn't very vapid or frilly at all. Likewise, it treated the audience, for better or worse, with a respect and trust that certain subjects and themes can and should be handled from a rather youngish age.

For those unfamiliar with the premise, The Last Unicorn is a bittersweet fable about humanity, immortality, and what it means to tread the lines between; what is gained and what is lost, and the sweet tragedies found therein that give a mortal life meaning. It is a very human story about a mythical creature and the people who change her and are changed by her, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. In fact, it's also a book, which I should very much hope you'll order from your local bookstore when we finish here today!

Initially, this was going to be one essay on those themes in the story. Immortality, death, humanity, memory; however that's already been done far better by someone far smarter than me.

But it got me thinking.

Unicorns- soft, sweet, sparkly things that they are- lend themselves so very well to horror and existential dread, don't they?

Now, some might argue I was doomed to fall down this particular rabbit hole, as that very same aforementioned father had a penchant for inserting chainsaws into the narrative of every My Little Pony storybook he was ever pestered to read aloud. However, I am choosing to give myself credit where credit is due here: I asked him to read them rather than my mom because I knew he would throw a few chainsaws in.

See, there's something alluring, even from the view of a child, about the idea that something so good and kind and pure might have a way to protect itself once its had enough. And it makes sense, doesnt it? Even if you don't quite have the language to explain it at that age, a horse is an awfully big prey animal, and a horse with a big, sharp horn must not be quite so helpless as everyone says! Why shouldn't a lone unicorn, with minimal help from a mediocre magician, a scullery maid, and prince who dies almost immediately, be able to drive off a flaming bovine eight times her size by pure virtue of her determination?

Likewise, why shouldn't it go a step further? If unicorns are all that is good, it is natural that they must fight evil and be able to best it, and if they fight evil, they must also be capable of being twisted into it should they lose.

This series of essays is meant to explore murdercorns and dark horses of varying shades across media, ranging from the good-but-stabby to the twisted husks of divine beings.

This

Is Unicorns and Horror!

Prologue- Whats In A Murder Horse?

Part 1- The Last Unicorn

Part 2- DC seems to hate Unicorns

Part 3- Hunting Monsters

Part 4- To Anthologize a Horse

Part 5- Murdercorns Are For Kids

Part 6- Muppety CG and Jenna Ortega

Part 7- Disney Also Hates Unicorns

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Its so sad there isnt a jorking it equivilent for food

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episode 76 really is an episode of all time. britney spears opening ad, and sam stays dressed as britney for half the episode including wearing a skirt we can't even see. beer pong contest that caleb (privately) wins. jester, caleb, and reani are bats."i like bread!" fjord bitch-slaps jester out of polymorph because she's too stupid as a bat to do it herself. caleb and beau take a meeting with demid sunlash to discuss the mysteries of ruidus in a fantasy denny's parking lot. HEIST! nott accidentally one-shots a guard by dealing 69 points of damage (nice). caleb and nott make a plan to message each other and then can't because nott's too far (nott is not concerned about this; caleb DEFINITELY IS). *fjord voice* one dead, no communication. caleb and fjord go invisible. "you go first. on three" "WHAT are we DOING on THREE?!" fjord and caleb realize they can't see each other if they're both invisible and aggressively hold hands to keep track of each other. fjord gets captain america'd by the wildmother in the form of a seaweed wrap. meanwhile the party trades quiet and tender moments and meaningful check-ins with each other. THE STAR RAZOR IS REFJORGED. the entire party screams their heads off when fjord uses mask of many faces to look like nott. *southern drawl* "eldritch blast" "OOH YEEHAW." beau and reani have sex and it makes everyone level up. who is doing it like episode 76

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sabrina carpenter: (doing a nonsense outro in middle earth) boy you're hotter than that mordor fire 🔥 finger in my Ring until you're tired 😉 shout outs to all my bitches in the shire 😘✌️

gimli: ack! haer voice....it's wunderful......

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Maybe Happy Ending (Broadway) February 2, 2025

Darren Criss (Oliver), Helen J Shen (Claire), Dez Duron (Gil Brentley), Marcus Choi (James & Others)

Release Info & Screenshots