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i understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside

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oh m-...ahhh...my pockages

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Me, leaning against the wall with a flirty smirk on my face: "hey good looking, what's cooking?"

The steel factory:

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ueein nyough

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had a dream that the cool new trend was to drink water but only while standing in doorways because that made the water “more liminal” which was a good thing for unclear reasons

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Having a boyfriend is literally free

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I will open the fucking TikTok app just to watch this video multiple times

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AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! WHAT GHE FUCK AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!!

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i put the :// in http://

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Fuck the Tower of Babel, whoever was in charge of creating czech and croatian words did some messed up shit.

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got my new boyfriend from Ikea. Unfortunately he's made of particle board and with a single thrust of my hips I broke him into five pieces

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blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

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honey, I was thinking that we could spice things up in the bedroom by turning the heat off and pretending to be gold prospectors in the Yukon during winter who have to have sex to avoid freezing to death. how does that sound, babe?

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