mschievousx

[mschievousx]

i wish you love | a.h.

pairing: aaron hotchner x ofc

summary: francesca sainz knows her interests. she likes the dark, crime, profiling, medicine, military, guns, and suits. imagine her surprise when these things come as a person... granted, a "fourty-something unit chief" person, but a person nonetheless.

series masterlist

iii. three: a song to sing

with the week almost ending, francesca sat on reid's desk, lounging and disturbing him in any way that she can. he was busy finishing up his paperworks, which usually don't take him long so she presumed that something was wrong—utterly wrong for the boy wonder to be staring blankly at his monitor for ten minutes now while tuning her ramblings out.

"spence, hands down the tenth and eleventh doctors are the best."

he sighed at that, tapping his fingers together as he explained, "they are great, no doubt—"

"i'd let them run wild on me." she interjected calmly while checking her nails, nodding as if the idea's typical.

he fully looked at her, opening his mouth to speak only to close it and gather his thoughts, "i... how are we exactly judging them? because i think there might be a miscommunication here."

franz feigned ignorance as she turned her head to him and tried to look as innocent as she could muster. spencer is once curious man, and he'll stop at nothing to understand a concept he did not.

luckily, garcia arrived with emily to save her. the girls are already passionately exchanging points when they reached the two, their beloved tech girl throwing a question to the boy.

"what's your mbti?"

"infp, yours?"

penelope squeeled at that, gushing to reid at being only a letter different from him, "enfp!"

emily smiled at her excitement, nodding to the genius, "i'm surprised you even took the test."

"myers-briggs personality test is almost accurate. it was officially researched and the results are valid." he turned to emily with a smug grin in his his tone, "you're enfj."

prentiss rolled her eyes with a smile, hinting everyone that reid was indeed correct. garcia looked at the young trainee, "yours, franz?"

"me? intj," she answered casually, leaning her arm on the desk divider.

the pink-loving woman narrowed her eyes at her, pulling her head back as her voice came out pitchy in disbelief, "no, you're not."

"all that flirting and confessions and you're a t?" emily backed her, brows crossing but with a humorly scoff.

franz pressed her lips together in a thin smile, nodding slowly in reassurance, "73 percent."

"that's high." she grinned at their bemusement, amazed herself how they could not believe her mbti.

reid narrowed his eyes in analysis of the girl's previous behaviors, "if you really think about it, she has a tendency to rule by thinking rather than feeling."

the dark-haired woman chuckled mockingly as she shook her head, "oh, i don't think there's much thinking involved when she throws herself at the boss-man."

sainz could do nothing but laugh at her reasoning, which in all honesty, she could not say it was entirely untrue.

"how come you're introverted as well?" garcia grimaced in annoyance that the girl's mbti seems to be exactly the opposite of what hers should be.

"oh, you don't know me, penelope." she grinned teasingly with pride in her voice.

prentiss nodded upwards as she crossed her arms. the rest followed her line of sight, "what about him? what do you all think his mbti is?"

francesca smugly grinned in certainty, "he's an i and t for sure."

pen squinted to their boss, pursing her lips on thinking, "istp?"

"is that gideon?"

reid stated with disbelief as he saw the familiar man walk in the bullpen. the others turned at once by that, eyes widening as the man looked at them with his usual tight smile.

"oh my god, that's gideon." emily breathed out, their eyes following the man as he climbed up the stairs.

seeing the man arriving from his office blinds, hotch stood up and walked to his door, opening it slightly as he peeked out to call for her.

"sainz, in my office."

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

after exchaning their pleasantries, gideon had no chance to even blink before he saw the utter look of besottedness from the girl to her chief. he stared between the two inquisitively as he leaned back on the small shelf on the right side of the desk. franz took a seat across hotch, smiling too cheerfully for the men's liking.

hotch cleared his voice as he turned to jason before settling to the trainee in front of him, "as you know, it is mandatory for you to undergo a psychological evaluation after what had transpired."

she kept her eyes on him, listening intently—not to his words though but to his voice. he already knew the girl was barely conscious, her mind focusing on other matters and he had to roll his eyes inwardly in humor at that.

"obviously, i asked strauss to let me handle it. later on, i realized how biased my evaluations would be." he leaned back to his office chair, gesturing with his right hand to his former chief, "so, here we are. i brought gideon in to conduct the evaluations."

she grinned, turning to the older man with her eyes shining with its usual glint of mischief. franz shook her head lightly as she spoke self-assuredly, "he can't do the evaluations, sir, because he likes me."

hotch shut his eyes resignedly at her quip. the prestigious former chief, however, was less than amused, yet brows raising slightly in intrigue—a contrast to his monotone voice, "i can see that."

gideon stood up from his leaning and clasped his hand, putting her sarcasm at the back of his mind, "let's start."

he rounded the table as hotch stood up, the other taking his seat. her current unit chief moves to sit at the back of his office, silently waiting for them to start as he opted to observe.

"aaron," jason said suggestively as he puts on his glasses and opens the folder, scanning her files.

the man called did not move, his eyes narrowing at the sound of his name and refusing to acknowledge the other's gesture. with that, the older man raised his head from the paperworks to him. as he sees the all-so-familiar look from his former superior, hotch closed his eyes and sighed, standing up at once.

"wow, i've never seen him get kicked out of his own office so easily." franz chuckled lightly, her eyes still at ths sight of her boss descending the stairs. her laughter, however, dried when she turned back to gideon, only to see him looking at her pointedly.

"i've read the case report. i understand the need to take the shot."

they began the test, asking and answering questions back-and-forth, both related to the case and not. a good thirty minutes passed by with the man only using a single sheet to put down any observations. if it was a good thing or a bad thing, she had no idea.

gideon moved to more direct questions, frankly pertaining to the previous case now.

"i do not feel bad at all. is that a problem, sir?" she looked at her nails on her lap before leaning back on the chair and raising her head to him.

"it might be." gideon plainly said in observation.

"you know, i had to be prepared for this evaluation. get my facts right." he began, leaning on his back as well and removing his glasses, letting it dangle on his chest, "and so, i obviously looked at your records."

he paused for a good number of seconds, focusing at the papers in front of them in thinking of his following words before looking at her directly in the eyes, voice full of calmness and inquiry, "tell me, why did you intentionally fail your firearms proficiency?"

"how did you know?" she could not help the look of small surprise on her face as the man saw the pattern in her proficiency results.

he simply smiles at that, the gesture reminding the girl of who he is, "a trade secret."

franz chuckled inwardly at his secrecy. she pursed her lips, already knowing that her reasoning won't be enough for him, "i rather not carry a weapon, sir."

"why?" he was purely intrigued by that. a choice to not carry any firearm in this field of work... it was rare—and utterly foolish.

a playful smile slowly made its way on her lips, seeing the opening, "a trade secret."

"sainz," gideon smirked at her immediate wittiness, leaning forward with crossed fingers on the table, "do you play chess?"

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

after they finished, the two vacated the office, gideon nearing rossi right away. the two went to the coffee maker, probably staying there to chat lightheartedly. there was something so endearing about their small reunion, the rest of the team smiling at the sight of the two grandfathers of the bau.

"gideon's awesome—not like manly cool, but more of a grandma cool." reid stated with raised brows, the same way he shares random facts, his admiration for the man as clear as day.

a memory resurfaced in derek's mind, the old man screaming suddenly in a room facing the window as they were observing the victim's home. he shrugged at that but smiled nonetheless, "he's a bit questionable at times but he was a great chief."

francesca nodded with a soft smile as they recall their moments with their former chief, who unfortunately, she did not get the chance to work with officially. she could see it though—their description of him.

"If you could only see the look of disappointment on his face when i suck at chess." she chuckled as she shared to them her poor excuse of plays. she knew how to play, but strategizing was never her strong suit. sainz was a girl who preferred to be head-on.

she twirled around her office chair, listening to both men when jj rounded up the corner with the widest smile.

"look who's visiting!"

"why do we suddenly have a lot of visitors today?" franz questioned as she stood up from her seat, looking at her arrival. jj's grin was something the girl has dubbed as her mom grin. she removed her hands from the insides of her pocket at the realization, "jj... no."

"we thought this week must have been so stressing for you." jj began cheerily, the sounds of kids nearing them, "now, i don't know what makes you happy aside from hotch, but i do know that these kids can make everyone's day better."

her eyes widened as she finally see two boys around the same age and immediately turned back at once, as if mouthing to reid.

"spence, i do not like—"

"henry!"

she was cut off by the cheer in the voice of the boy genius, him crouching down to jj's kid. derek only laughed at her expression. awkwardness was a rare sight on the girl, moreso that it's as simple as children that causes it.

"hey... guys." franz made a pathetic attempt of a wave, her voice void of any comfort.

jack, hotch's kid, fist-bumped with morgan as little henry turned to her, "mom says you're stressed. this makes the stress go away."

she stood awkwardly as the kid hugged her, patting his back unsurely, "yeah... thanks, buddy."

sainz looked at his mother and whisper-yelled, "jj, stop making excuses to bring kids here."

"it's december!" the mother exclaimed with a chuckle, "they always visit during december."

penelope exclaimed at the sight of the kids too, showing familiarity as she ushered them forwards, "let's go, boys. your legos and other toys are still in my office."

both boys grinned at that, starting to follow garcia but turned back to the new face as they took hold of her hands.

"wha—no, no," she protested, finding it futile as they finally reached the doors just by the kids dragging her.

it's going to be a long day.

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

"how did it go?" hotch asked with curiosity dripping from his tone as he entered his office again, closing the blinds for some privacy.

"great," gideon stood up from the seat, his eyes lingering on her name on the folder. he tapped his fingers on it before looking back to aaron, "she has a lot of potential. where did you find her?"

"from a lecture," he replied simply, crossing his arms on his chest, "feedback?"

his former chief's brows narrowed a bit at his short and vague answer. he mentally noted that before divulging his observations, "i do not think the case and the encounter affected her much. she has a strong personality, high loyalty and confidence, and understands the job and its demands. she is not easily affected."

hotch nodded at that, seemingly relieved, "that's good. she's fit for field duty then?"

"give this report to strauss."

he moved forward and took the folder from the other man's hand, his eyes landing on another sheet of paper with scribbled notes that he can only presume as something that should not be disclosed.

"she will be an excellent agent and profiler," gideon sighed as he kept his eyes to the man, observing even the slightest change in his expression, "good thing we got her first."

"jason, what does this mean?" hotch finally looked back at him as he gestured on the paper, confusion apparent on his features.

"she's very turbulent." he pursed his lips as he explained his analysis of her actions and disposition, "so far, manipulation and lack of empathy and remorse are the only apparent signs."

"still, i stand by what i said first, and those qualities are what exactly makes her just a potential one." he walked from the desk to the windows, maintaining his gaze outside as he continued, "francesca's incredibly self-aware, aaron. i think she might even already know she's all i'm explaining right now."

jason could not help but compare her to a bird. what kind? he doesn't know yet. perhaps, the reason is because the girl has not fully hatched yet.

what she will be? the world is yet to know.

"for what it's worth, she likes you," he breaks the silence and the tension from the newfound information as he turned back to look at hotch's expression. he could see his eyes reading the page over and over again, yet stopping at once by the mention, "genuinely."

he neared him again, asking with genuine interest. hotch was sharp. he was not someone who gets side-tracked easily, "did you really not know?"

aaron clicked his tongue lightly at that, putting down the file, "that she's bordering on aspd? of course, not."

"then you were right to call me." gideon stated suggestively, watching as hotch's jaw hardened ever so slightly, "maybe, your judgement is indeed biased."

he apologizes if he was having a hard time believing it—that the girl who's laughing and playing with his son and henry just meters away from him has those qualities. francesca is a young adult—a very rocky, confusing, and unstable age.

and so, he continues to tell himself that as he descends the stairs from his office.

the previous unit chief caught up with the others for a bit as sainz turned and immediately grinned to him as always.

she narrowed her eyes at him in mock-thinking, her fingers resting on her chin as she hummed, "sir, let me guess your mbti. you're istj, aren't you?"

this girl could not possibly have psychopathic tendencies. his mind scanned through each and every interaction they had, and he came up with nothing. for some reason, he could not help the the feeling of protectiveness over her. perhaps, gideon was wrong.

perhaps, gideon just doesn't know her.

and so, he allowed a small smile grace his lips as she maintained her sight on him, grinning so widely with pride as if knowing she was right.

before he could even answer, the boys dragged her away to play again. franz groaned at them stealing her time with the boss, yet a genuine smile appeared on her features as she tickled jack upon catching him.

this girl in front of him is not what gideon says.

but perhaps, like gideon, he doesn't know her as well.

[mschievousx]

i wish you love | a.h.

pairing: aaron hotchner x ofc

summary: francesca sainz knows her interests. she likes the dark, crime, profiling, medicine, military, guns, and suits. imagine her surprise when these things come as a person... granted, a "fourty-something unit chief" person, but a person nonetheless.

series masterlist

ii. two: give your heart

visiting the victims' houses, jj conversed with the family as the two opted to observe the area. ridiculously to franz, she did not expect for the first victim to have an unholy amount of frames. photos like hers and/or the whole family's littered their home.

beyond that, there were also framed certificates, movie posters, letters, decors, and... paintings. the young trainee neared the monotoned painting. at first, it was out of the beauty of the art. however, as she stepped closer and closer, the painting had a handprint—one that most would miss since it was placed in the far end of the scene.

sainz walked to morgan, her steps hiding the urgency so as to not cause alarm. once beside him, she divulgrded her findings, prompting the man to call for garcia.

"pen, check the purchases of the victims. did they all buy paintings?"

the rapid typing of the tech analyst can be heard over the call, "yeps, all from magnum art gallery. location sent, my beloveds."

they uttered their thanks, now signaling for jj to wrap it up. in a single blink of an eye, they are already inside the car, derek stirring the wheel. he called for the team from his phone, passing it to jj after informing the team of their destination.

"we're going to the magnum art gallery. all the victims bought paintings there."

"coincidence?" rossi's voice resounded in the car. the team now listening attentively at their breakthrough.

francesca sat at the back, leaning forwards and placing her arms at both seats in front—which was probably not safe but that's not the point right now. she puckered her lips in thinking, staring ahead on the road.

"i don't think so. genius, please mark the gallery in the map for me."

in the station, reid placed a pin, moving backwards to observe the map in the glass board.

jj's voice came through their phone, "i think she's on to something. the profile says white male in his late 20s, average, introverted, not muscular but not necessarily weak, and in art-related work."

"he does not care about us. he acts as if we're not in the picture. he's solely focused on the girl these victims are posing as surrogates." hotch spoke his observations aloud, eyes on the glass board as well as he try to figure out the significance of the locations. the rest of the team in the station went over the profile.

sensing the thoughtfulness from the other line as their chief continued to discuss elements of the case before pausing once again, francesca grinned mischievously.

"what do i get if i'm right?"

derek scoffed after hearing that while jj offered a small smile as she held the phone in the middle to the girl.

"an apprehended suspect and a saved victim." hotch humorlessly answered, facing the glass board in analysis.

"so serious," she replied with a grin in her voice and a slight hum, "how about a kiss?"

before she could even say she was joking, the phone sounded, signaling that the call has been ended. the car filled with chuckles despite the case, the girl looking at the bright side and morgan giving her a reality check.

"well, that was not a no."

"yeah, that was a fuck off."

sooner, they finally arrived at the gallery, conversing to the manager immediately. the gallery was already closing, and sainz never would have guessed she would be thankful for derek's looks ever until that very moment.

the manager was swept off her feet, easily revealing information and anything they asked, almost never batting an eye to the two girls. from her, they learned that the victims indeed bought the paintings from the gallery. she remembers because they all coincidentally bought the artworks of someone she was previously doubting, even rejecting the paintings numerous times before.

the trio gave her the profile, asking if she knows anyone that would fit it but to no avail. she did let it slip that there was one who fits it the closest, yet suddenly shrugged the thought because of one problem—she was a woman.

they glanced at each other, beckoning the manager to continue. she revealed that the artist, clara, was not one to stay in the gallery for long up until she met a friend. it was tracy—trix—trisha... she could not remember her name. luckily, it did not slip her mind that the friend bought a painting a week ago, and checked the records.

the manager pouted at the thought of a fallout, mentioning that the two haven't been in the gallery for days when they were always seen together every other day.

with that, it was clear as water. they bolted to the car, ringing the team with serious urgency now. morgan slammed his foot on the pedal as franz held the phone, speaking with intensity at once when the call went through.

"the unsub is a woman, have garcia pull up records of clara hayes and trisha matten."

after being patched to garcia, she worked her magic and pulled out all information. jj nodded in confirmation, catching the team up, "clara hayes is the unsub."

"we're now going to her place." derek informed, stirring from corners to corners. hotch's ears perked up at that, turning to the phone immediately in firmness.

"morgan, wait for backup."

he did not reply, knowing that he will comoletely do the opposite of what his chief instructed. franz clutched the phone, "mark their addresses on the map. am i right in assuming it's the law's scales of justice?"

reid pinned them all on the map, the team gathering in the front in realization. emily placed their thoughts in reality, "trisha is a lawyer."

they all turned for the doors, instructing the station chief along the way for backup. hotch took a hold of the phone and ordered strictly as he opens the car door.

"jj, we are coming. do not engage."

he closed his eyes in frustration as the three refused to affirm his commands, clicking his tongue with unease. he addressed the young lady, coming to terms with what they're doing, ending the call immediately.

"sainz, stay in the car."

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

clara's house was organized with not a single object out of order aside from a single quirky stuffed toy in the living room—that and the two women bound to a chair.

she turned to the one without a tape on her mouth and spoke in a whining tone, "trish, you need to choose. you're a lawyer. you'd know if she deserves it or not."

trisha leaned forwards against the bind as she sobbed, taking breaths in between, "no, claire, please stop this."

"look at her!" clara exclaimed with a slamming gesture to jana, the missing woman, "she's.... ugh! why are you all so blinded by men? they're good for nothing!"

after her outburst, she neared the latter, crouching down as she placed her hands on her waist before turning to the lawyer, "you know, the waist is an art, intimately accentuating the curves."

"should i kill her and relieve her of the pain?" she wondered aloud. trisha refused to answer, closing her eyes intensely as she continued to sob. she stood back up at that, irritation starting to kick in, "but i need her to finish the art. look at the map, trish! it shows passion and commitment, doesn't it?"

she pointed towards the map on the wall, trisha completely not caring about it. the suspect raised her handgun to jana, pressing the muzzle against her forehead, "just finishing touches, love."

"drop the gun, clara."

morgan's voice resounded in the room, prompting the woman mentioned to clutch the girl, holding her as hostage, "don't come closer or i will shoot her!"

"put down your gun." derek tried once again, muscles tensed as he waits for any sudden movement.

"release jana. she has nothing to do with this. you wanted trisha to see your artwork, right? the scale symbol in the map." jj appealed, aiming to diffuse the tension and tame the suspect, "it must not have been easy to do. right, trisha?"

the woman got what she was trying to do, sobbing her words out, "yes... it—it's wonderful."

"see? it's already amazing in trisha's eyes. you don't need to do this now, clara." she turned back to her, tone pleading for a bloodless night.

"put down the—"

the man's words were cut off when clara suddenly pushed the woman in her grasp to them in desperate attempt to get away.

outside the house, the trainee called garcia, clearly bothered as to what could have possibly triggered the suspect, her first step being the fight the two had.

"pen, did the victims have criminal records?"

garcia's fingers flew from one key to another, replying almost immediately, "my sweet munchkin, no, they don't. however, they all filed complaints against their partners."

the bouncing of the trainee's foot from the backseat of the car stopped abruptly, "surely trisha's not the lawyer of the four? we wouldn't miss something as obvious as that."

"correctamundo. they're all under different law firms, but that's our girl's specialization."

franz's mouth formed an 'o' in realization. clara was not looking for friendship and this completely went over trisha's head ,"so this is about sexual orientation then."

"she wants trisha to see how awful men are." penelope agreed, nodding from quantico.

"no, she already knows that. that's what her cases are." sainz narrowed her eyes, a realization coming to her, "clara's no longer trying to open trisha's eyes. she's now furious that she still goes for men despite knowing it so well."

before the team's tech genius could reply, two gunshots rang in the middle of the night. the girl sat up straight at that, peering through the window to the house.

"franz... what was that?"

adrenaline began to kick in her body, her mind running miles over what to do. she reached in the compartment, taking the extra gun they always leave inside the car for precautions and checked the magazine, grateful it is loaded.

"i gotta go."

"no, no, stay there! they're near! hotch and the team is—"

francesca stepped out of the car, gun in hand. garcia's pleas went to deaf ears as she turned the phone off and pocketed it, nearing the house with haste at the gravity of the situation.

seeing from the outside that jj was okay and was helping the two other women, the trainee turned to where the suspect and morgan's figures disappeared to. she bit her lips in contemplation before ultimately groaning, chasing after the two. hotch can scold her after, derek might not be safe.

and, rightly so. because as she rounded the corner, morgan was on the floor with a gun aimed to his head.

franz took slow steps, gun trailed to the back of clara's head as she instructed in a leveled tone, "drop the gun."

the girl moved around derek, facing the two with the gun still to the man. sainz narrowed her eyes, as if analyzing the situation and the best course of action, "there's nothing else you can do. this is the end."

"come close and i'll shoot him."

"do not tempt me. i hate that fucker." her eyes relaxed, settling on a risky strategy, "men are always stupid, both emotionally and intellectually incompetent."

she scoffed at the trainee's attempt while morgan's starting to get alarmed on what she was doing, "did you think i'll fall for whatever you're doing?"

"not at all, but i still believe spilling blood is unnecessary here."

that irked the suspect. she was like the others— saving men even though they are good for nothing aggressors.

clara squinted her eyes, clutching her head for a bit, "this then that then this then that. shut up!"

franz made it a point to make her voice sound passive-aggressively mocking, "something against men?"

she refused to answer. her hands clutched the handgun harder, glaring intensely to the man.

"oh, you're..." the trainee trailed off, taunting the girl.

"i'm what?" she called out, eyes never leaving the man on the floor.

derek crossed his brows on whatever she was doing, his words pointed, "franz, stop."

"a lesbian," she ignored the man, going with her way, "you know that would incur the wrath of god, right? a woman is made for a man."

"shut up." clara muttered lowly, her hand pushing the gun forward.

"you're a lesbian and a moron. it's not in the bible. it's explicably said in john 3:27-34, thou my child—"

"shut up!"

clara turned to francesca, the gun aimed to the agent on the floor now trailed to the young lady. morgan reacted right away, yet it was clear he cannot push the suspect before she shoots.

her finger pulled on the trigger, but before the gun's mechanism could work, the trainee fired her shot, the sound filling the otherwise peaceful street.

she dropped on the floor, gun clattering with her. sainz neared them as she gestured to her teammate, inquiring about his state, "you good?"

the agent nodded, the other crouching down to feel for a pulse. franz looked at derek, her head shaking to confirm the suspect's status.

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

"i am not in shock."

the youngest grumbled at the shock blanket draped over her shoulders as she sat behind the ambulance.

derek tried to be comforting, but he was just... derek, "you just killed a person."

"she was aiming a gun at you." francesca argued, glaring to the very man she saved just moments ago.

jj and emily walked to the two with spencer asking, "how are you feeling?"

"i'm starting to feel tired. i did not expect that much adrenaline." she leaned her head sidewards against the vehicle.

"where did you whip up the bible verse from? i thought you're a... what do you call it... an agnostic?"

franz looked at the man, trying to hide the smirk in her face, "it's not real. i don't even know what's written in the verses i said."

emily crossed her arms at that, tone going pitchy than usual, "you lied?"

"i had to aggravate her," she sighed heavily before laughing at the thought that entered her mind, "a lesbian and a moron... i don't know where i got that from."

they all chuckled at that, the line sounding like somebody they used to know. jj smiled warmly at her safety, "we've talked about it before. gideon would love you."

"the previous unit chief?"

"you'd bond over insulting unsubs." the liaison turned profiler continued with a laugh. she grinned at that. it wouldn't be so bad to be acknowledged by him.

and just as how fast they shared their laughter, it was as fast when they quieted down, noticing hotch approaching them with rather determined steps.

the team already knows what this is about as they all stepped back slowly, franz sitting up from her leaning and taking a grasp of morgan's shirt as he was the closest. her wide eyes were gesturing at him as she mouthed dont go in repeat, even using the i saved you card humorly.

however, no amount of begging would make them stay with her, especially with the stern look that's sporting his features.

with no one nearby, her chief's eyes pierced through her, a series of scolding waiting to happen. he looks hot though. she'll give him that.

"that was purely reckless. how hard is it to follow my orders?" his voice was firm, yet it was calm and contained as usual, also considering that they're in public.

she looked at him directly, explaining her case, "hotch, there were gunshots. i had to do something."

"i explicitly told you to stay in the car," he crossed his arms, reminding her that he can fire her anytime, "just tell me if you're not ready to follow my lead and you can stop all these nonsense at once."

"i did stay!" she opened her mouth to defend her actions further but ultimately settled with a sigh, "i'm sorry."

"by putting yourself in danger, you're putting the whole team in danger," he continued to chide, now focusing on the team's welfare beyond his authority, "sainz, we do not move alone. this is a team."

"i know. it was a circumstantial decision." she looked away from him, watching the busy officers walking back-and-forth around the scene.

"you could have went to assist the women and let jj chase them."

"it would take time—time we did not have seeing as i arrived with clara aiming to derek already." franz tiredly made her point. this was almost similar to those ethical dilemmas people ask each other for fun. hotch sighed, acknowledging that the girl is exhausted after all that transpired.

"do not do this again." he waited for her affirmation, a response at the very least. of course, she gave none. aaron closed his eyes, trying to contain his irritation as he called for her attention pointedly, "sainz."

knowing that the girl is unlikely to reply and acknowledge what he said, he took a step back, turning away for a moment as if to gather his thoughts.

he looked at her appearance and observed her state more closely now, him speaking in a softer voice, yet still with gruffness, "how are you?"

"not fine." franz returned to her leaning, staring blankly ahead.

"how do you feel?"

"i don't know." she just wanted to sleep. it was a very confusing night. how does one react after killing a person? how should one feel?

hotch noticed her inner turmoil, the shock is possibly adding too, "wanna talk about it?"

"sir, you just scolded me." she narrowed her eyes at his offer, wondering how this man can turn from the unit chief to a friend in an instant. were they even friends? she doesn't know.

he deadpanned at her, "you disobeyed my orders."

"a necessary insubordination." she replied in a beat, her eyes still on him. there was no way she would win though.

as francesca had told him plenty of times before, she likes his eyes best. of course, he only looked at her blankly every time before turning back to his case files, but she does like them sincerely and she will not get tired of telling him about it.

her fondness probably comes from the fact that she knows what his eyes are trying to say—an intimate form of communication, per se.

and so, that is precisely why she could do nothing but shrug and smile tirely at him. although his brows were creased, his eyes were offering comfort. that or she's so in her head she's starting to hallucinate and overthink.

the girl shook her head with a warm smile at the thought, "how about tomorrow?" she beamed at him, referring to his offer to talk. the man nodded once and she grinned teasingly, exhaustion seemingly forgotten, "it's a date."

hotch rolled his eyes at her antics, gracefully pocketing his hands, "do you need anything?"

francesca grinned from ear to ear in mischief, "can i get a hug?"

"you—"

"what? i'm in shock!"

he let a small smile grace his features as she exaggeratedly pulled the shock blanket to herself. he simply looked at her, as if figuring out how she really was. hotch patted her head softly before finally walking away to where the rest of the team was.

the action most certainly did not go unnoticed by her. needless to say, her mind was a mess.

if someone would have told her in the past that there comes a time she would give her heart and swoon by everything a man two decades older does, she would have went on an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

yet, here she was—just killed a woman and all she can think about was how the smallest gesture of affection from him brought a lump to her throat.

[mschievousx]

i wish you love | a.h.

pairing: aaron hotchner x ofc

summary: francesca sainz knows her interests. she likes the dark, crime, profiling, medicine, military, guns, and suits. imagine her surprise when these things come as a person... granted, a "fourty-something unit chief" person, but a person nonetheless.

series masterlist

i. one: keep you warm

"when i tell you i do not like animals, derek, i swear..."

francesca would bet all her money, which is not a lot, but that's how certain she is that derek has something against her and will completely do the opposite of anything she says.

he smirked in mischief as garcia gasped loudly, her eyes widening in offense.

"including pets? what do you have against my furry friends?"

"contrary to popular belief, the opposite of like is not 'not like' but hate. therefore, not liking a thing is neutral, similar to not hating a thing. i'm not against them. i simply do not wish to interact with them."

"actually, it's not—" she nudged the resident genius, gesturing with her eyes and a tight smile, hoping he'll get the hint as she placed her arm on his shoulder and turned to penelope again.

"they're fluffy and cute!"

"and i agree!" franz compensated with a high pitch, "it's not about that—"

her words were lost on the tech analyst as she opened her phone after the notification, "oh, this is so not fluffy and cute."

she walked off to the conference room, the rest of the team already knowing what it means. hotch, dave, and emily are already sat around the table.

"you, my dear crime-fighters, won a ticket to illinois." penelope clicked the remote, presenting identification photos and crime scene pictures, "sadly, at the cost of these three lovely ladies: kathryn cooper, lilian boyle, and mandy clark. all found naked and dead by hanging."

derek looked at the screen, "it's obviously not suicide if we're called in."

"it says here they're 155, 163, and 158 tall. they could not possibly reach the fixed rope with the height of the chair used." jj noted as she scanned the details displayed.

"a mistake?" rossi wondered aloud.

"either that or a taunt. the unsub's confident and displays textbook narcissism, leaving handprints on the victims' waists. what did the forensics say?" reid began the profile as garcia shook her head followed by a gesture to their gadgets.

"no match. there's also a text in each scene. look at their frames, beautiful. i've sent all the details in your tablets."

hotch nodded before pushing away from the table, "good. wheels up in thirty."

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

while the rest of the team started to gather and brainstorm, franz wanted nothing but to smack the person in front of her, walking backwards as she gets back from the galley of the jet.

"kid, i'm only saying it wouldn't hurt to bond with dogs from time to time. let's start with those from fbi. they're trained enough, so it wouldn't be so bad."

she looked at him innocently and spoke with dry humor, "i talk to you everyday, don't i?"

"i—"

"let's go over the case."

hotch called out as derek narrowed his eyes at her, mouthing something in the lines of i will get back at you. they settled on the couch as the rest read over the case.

"the interval of the deaths are two days. what is he doing with them?" emily voiced out, knowing a lot can happen in two days, especially in these cases.

sainz brushed her nose before speaking in her light tone, "i doubt it's sexual. the handprints appear more like sensual. if it was the former, there are more suggestive places to put it."

rossi nodded, putting out another detail, "cause of death are all asphyxiations. the neck ligatures are also deep and rough."

for the minutes to follow, the team discussed the case deeply, going over possible scenarios and theories based on the details given and the facts. they threw information to each other, forming an initial profile as a framework from here on out.

"okay, dave and reid, go to the morgue and check the two bodies."

hotch began designating the tasks to do as soon as they land. hearing this, franz clutched her hands together with her head down, muttering to herself. they all knew what it was about. she has done it a couple of times before—wishing and chanting to be paired up with her unit chief slash the man of her dreams, according to her.

he continued monotonely, closing the file, "jj, speak with the families and note any possible elements at play. morgan and prentiss, be at the crime scene. i'll be setting up at the station."

she held her breath at that, waiting for his confirmation, "sainz, with me."

the trainee pumped her right fist lowly at that with a wide grin, exclaiming a celebratory 'yes' as hotch gave a small smile at her excitement. rossi looked at her with raised brows in amusement and a tinge of humor.

"who were you praying to? you're an atheist."

she turned to the older man, "i was chanting and i'm an agnostic."

"same thing." he shrugged dismissively, unknowingly cueing for reid to inform him of the facts.

"actually, atheists refer to people who do not believe in the existence of god in certainty and confidence, while agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve. they assert the impossibility of knowing either for sure."

the italian only stared at him for a couple of seconds, debating whether to push it or just let it go.

jj turned to the youngest with curiosity, "really? i thought you would be religious, especially given the surname."

"your arrogance is showing, kid." morgan patted her back mockingly as she nod to jj.

"not at all. i think i'm lucky to have the luxury to ponder whether he exists or not." her voice lacked it's usual teasing tone, seemingly replaced by a genuine one, "most people have no choice but to believe."

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

after setting up in the room given to them and pasting all necessary information on the glass board, an hour has passed and the two are now discussing geographic profile.

franz sat on the long table, legs crossed as she leaned forward in thinking of the details in front of them. hotch, with crossed arms and brows, stood in front as he analyzes what could the pinned locations in their map mean.

"three crime scenes forming a triangle... this may suggest convenience, meaning the unsub is from the area."

she leaned back, eyes still on the glass board with doubt, "but that's too obvious. he's smart and confident. that was clear by the handprint, note, and hanging."

he turned to face her, going over the details again like it would trigger them to find something that would help the case.

"the victims work in different fields. their lives never met at any point. but, the unsub clearly didn't pick them in random, judging from the gender and height."

he pocketed his hands, listening to her intently as she looked at him as well, "there's a conflict with the confidence profile. if the unsub's really that confident, like taunting us, why would he only pick easy targets?"

hotch maintained his sight to her, seemingly lost in his thoughts as he racks his brain for what could be the reason of the unsub's paradoxical behavior.

"sir, do not stare blankly at me with your hands in your pockets when you're thinking. i cannot concentrate." she finished with a grin, his eyes refocusing on hers after a few seconds.

"do not grin. we're working a case."

he advised indifferently. she kept her grin to tease his uptightness. however, upon the narrowing of his eyes with clear irk, sainz dropper her grin in an instant, turning back to the glass board with a light cough as if in all seriousness.

the black-suited agent turned to the board as well in realization, "he is confident. they're just his type."

she follows his train of thought, "he's not taunting us. he's showing off to someone else. look at their frames, beautiful. it's not an adjective in that."

her phone sounded, a message from emily as to the last sightings of the victims. reading the content, she unfolded her legs and stood up from the long table to pin the given locations.

"emily said they're last seen at these areas."

"two triangles." he muttered in observation.

dave and reid enter from their trip to the morgue. at the sight of the younger man, she calls for him, hoping the pattern in the map would make sense to him.

"genius, looks familiar?

he nears the two in front of the board, squinting his eyes, "it may be the measurements."

spencer kept his eyes on the map, his mind already calculating to see if he was right. not far away, two voices can be heard nearing the room. prentiss entered first followed by an explaining morgan. she gave the trainee a gesture to him with her head and a smirk.

"all i'm saying is the kid is short. she should not be in the field because the unsub might take interest."

"why—" she paused, looking at him in playful indignation, "what's wrong with you? i'm working professionally here and you talk behind my back."

"hey, i'm just looking out for you," derek raised his arms in surrender before pointing at her with a chuckle, "and you are short."

franz's mouth went agape in exaggeration as she turned to hotch, telling on the man and looking for an ally.

"sir? this is bullying."

"you are." the unit chief pointed out with a hint of humor.

she feigned offense once again before sighing heavily, "the betrayal... you're so lucky i like you." hotch mustered a small smile at that.

"and you," sainz turned back to the enemy, "you don't see me picking on your brains, do you? brawns."

derek scoffed pridefully with a smirk, "there's nothing to pick on me."

"exactly."

she did not miss a beat in replying, confusion on his face before the understanding hit, "wait—"

"the distance from one point to another is equal," reid stated, putting a stop to the banters, "perfectly."

just as they were all trying to review the new additional detail, the local chief's voice rang inside the room.

"there's another one missing."

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

the team went over the details they all gathered from their respective tasks, discussing the patterns again and putting up the profile as hotch went to speak with the family of the missing woman.

after a few minutes, he returned with a finding, nearing the map on the glass board.

"the family said that jana was at this stop when they last called her. she was on her way home yesterday morning after her night shift. same details so far with the other victims."

dave walked to the map, circling the area above the triangle, "the unsub's meticulous with his details and pattern. it's probable that if we do not find her in 15 hours, she'll turn up around here."

"i got something." francesca sat up from her chair, eyes on the note of the unsub in each crime scene, "he's not talking about the figures of his victims. he's talking about literal frames."

"picture frames?" reid asked, trying to see how it all connects.

she spoke with determination, "that's what i'd like to find out."

hotch crossed his arms in thinking of her theory. he nodded, opening the tablet for the case file again, "okay, go with morgan and jj."

they got up from their seats, the two aiming for their coats against the cold season considering it's nearing six in the evening as well.

"where's your coat, franz?" jj asked as they're halfway through the door, noticing the trainee does not have one with her.

she shook her head, trying to act cool mockingly with a pathetic attempt of a deep voice, "i don't wear one. i like the cold."

morgan rolled his eyes, calling for the man who's leaning forward on the long table with eyes down on the case file, "hotch, tell her to wear one."

sainz grinned widely at that, intentionally making her tone dreamily, "no need. his presence is enough to keep me warm."

"take my coat."

hotch calmly said, almost with indifference as he continued to swipe and pinch the gadget's screen, reading the file. they all looked at him at once in silence.

he's a caring person inside—that's not a surprise. the whole team knows that already. however, offering his coat to her is completely different from offering them to others in the team.

everyone knew she would take it differently. how smart of them! because she really did without shame.

"with your scent? i think i'm going to die before we even close this case."

francesca grinned with affection at him. the him in question is still not looking up from his readings, even as the three finally left for the home of one of the victims.

how ironic to feel so warm by someone so cold.

[mschievousx]

i wish you love | a.h.

pairing: aaron hotchner x ofc

summary: francesca sainz knows her interests. she likes the dark, crime, profiling, medicine, military, guns, and suits. imagine her surprise when these things come as a person... granted, a "fourty-something unit chief" person, but a person nonetheless.

ongoing

series masterlist:

prologue

i. one

ii. two

iii. three

author's note

i am so late in this fandom and i will never forgive criminal minds for getting me out of depressing times only to put me back deeper later on.

also, will never get over the fact that the show's older than me by months—which means i'm writing a fic about someone older than my father. this is one of the most embarrassing and questionable things i've ever done, but i find myself hardly caring. if y'all thought my bridgerton fic's age gap was bad, this is worse.

i mean... come on. look at the man.

and speaking of the man—oh my god, i cannot even bring myself to thirst over you, sir, because the charisma's off the charts.

hotch is an asshole (let's face it), but the nicest and most loving and caring of the lot. i love me some composed, brooding, strict, authoritative figure who rarely shows his emotions despite feeling a lot inside... and you, sir, fits best.

i was lying. i will totally thirst over hotch at some point, if i haven't already.

comments are highly encouraged!

[mschievousx]

i wish you love | a.h.

pairing: aaron hotchner x ofc

summary: francesca sainz knows her interests. she likes the dark, crime, profiling, medicine, military, guns, and suits. imagine her surprise when these things come as a person... granted, a "fourty-something unit chief" person, but a person nonetheless.

series masterlist

prologue

penelope garcia, despite loving her womancave, cannot resist spending time at the bullpen where her family is. yes, her office is her place of comfort, but the bullpen has always been more fun—fun in terms of the banter of her friends, their plans of vacations that never really happen because of the nature of their job, and of course, her chocolate thunder, derek morgan.

she loves morgan dearly—as dear as colleagues can love each other without ruining their respective romantic relationships. however, for the past ten months, morgan's life has been nearing hell-like. reid, he can manage. but, the arrival of another proved to be challenging. and garcia should really not love the way her chocolate thunder is outnumbered as much as she does.

but hey, what can she possibly do when the enemy comes in the form of a young trainee who she equally loves?

"i am not a kid."

francesca sainz playfully glared at morgan, crossing her arms as she sat on a desk across reid's. the three, along with jj and penelope, gathering for their daily banter.

derek chuckles at that, gesturing to the resident genius who was sitting on his seat with an amused smile, "reid's 34 and he's a kid, kid."

"i do not have an iq of 187." she retorted plainly.

he scoffed as he tossed his baseball and caught it again repeatedly, sporting his incredulous look with everyone before settling to her.

"what does that have to do with it?"

she slowly stood up and smirked as she presented her case, "false equivalence, like you did. you compared reid and i. while your point in age could be taken, comparing spencer and i is not acceptable at all since our nature is not the same. hence, your point, as a matter of fact, does not have a point."

they all looked at her in silence for a good couple of seconds before jj crossed her arms, as if in thinking as she voiced an observation.

"there's no false equivalence at all."

"my point stands." morgan pushed with a smug grin.

franz narrowed her eyes to each one of them before glaring to morgan once again, "just so you know, this is my annoyed face, derek."

he leaned forward as if to observe her closely before speaking in a sarcastic tone.

"really? looks pretty much the same, kid."

she rolled her eyes at him before grinning herself, fixing her hair to tease him, "what did you say? i look pretty? thanks."

the older agent scoffed once again as he leaned back with a smirk, "deaf."

"you being this chaotic tells me the boss-man is not yet around."

emily's voice made them turn towards the entrance at her arrival, rossi following closely behind as they chuckled.

"where is he?"

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

"where is he?"

aaron hotchner, more known as hotch and the unit chief of the behavioral analysis unit or bau, asked as he gestured the paper to the course professor of the class they just lectured.

she looked at the paper to see who the agent is referring to.

"this student? oh," she raised her head to the entire room, scanning the area for any sign of the girl, "she left already."

he tried to hide the look of slight surprise in his face. after all, franz sainz is a very misleading name. it has certainly nothing to do with what emily has previously said before during her first cases with the team when he asked what is his worst quality. he does not trust women as much as men.

hotch neared rossi, giving the paper to him as the latter read the contents.

"what do you think?"

the italian man read her answer for the situational case they gave earlier. his brows slowly raised inquisitively as he reached the middle and commented, "quite perceptive."

"so?" he asked monotonely. dave already knew what he meant and nodded in agreement.

he turned to where penelope was, chatting with the rest of the team before looking at him.

"garcia, i need you to run details as soon as we get back in quantico."

and with that, it was imperative that they returned the next day, having learned more about the student.

francesca was calmly walking down the hallway, having just finished taking a special exam after she missed her written exam yesterday by attending the bau's lecture. chewing on her gum with earpods in, she disregarded the bandage on her left wrist and hand which served as her 'valid reason' for missing yesterday.

however, she could not miss the the contrast of that bright blonde hair and imposing suits against the figure of twenty-year-olds in the hallway just meters away. she immediately slowed down her steps as she lightly chatted up another student, who she does not know, and casually turned away to walk back where she came from.

only to find the italian already closing in on her too. she shrugged resignedly at that as he finally reaches her, sarcastically smiling as he placed an arm around her shoulders, guiding her to walk where she was originally going to.

"walk with me, kid."

she smiled sheepishly at him, removing her earpods and looking at him, "sir, great to see you. i'm a huge fan."

rossi lightly chuckled in amusement, "i don't have the best experiences with 'huge fans'."

she looked ahead at that, exhaling impassively as she remembered his book about a fan-turned-serial killer, "evidently."

as hotch and jj accompanied their sides, francesca tightly smiled in acknowledgement as the lady smiled back, "sir, ma'am."

"do you have anywhere to be right now?" hotch monotonely asked as they all continue to walk towards the exit.

she looked at him on her left with a sarcastic grin, to which he only returned with a look as if trying to figure her out, "i have a really good feeling you already know the answer to that."

dave interjected with his usual playful tone, "good, because you're going to be at quantico in a few minutes."

with her in the middle of fbi agents, francesca sainz could do nothing but look at him with wide eyes and mouth agape in shock.

"is this about my search history? i promise i did not kill anyone. i write books."

 · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

"ask and he shall appear."

the trainee commented as the unit chief passed the doors just after emily and dave did. however, when hotch came into full view, she could not stop herself from gaping once again.

"oh my, sir! that is illegal."

he paused at the bottom of the staircase at that, turning to the group as the others slowly distanced themselves from the girl.

"excuse me?"

she grinned at him, her voice full of exaggeration, "you took my breath away with your usual white long sleeves, but now, you're simply killing me with that dark one."

"sainz," hotch pointedly called, trying to contain his exasperation even though the day has just begun.

"i'm serious," she opened her arms on chest level, feigning ignorance before grinning widely once again, "are you looking for wife number two? i volunteer as tribute!"

he narrowed his eyes at her, almost glaringly, before closing them. regaining his composure, he continued to walk upstairs, "i'll pretend i didn't hear that."

noticing the team's amused looks at her as dave and jj shook their heads with small smiles, franz raised her eyebrows at them.

"what? dave's already working with number four."

"what is wrong with you?" derek said in a higher pitch than his normal, seemingly unbelieving of the girl's antics.

penelope grins at the exchange, jabbing to her jokingly as well, "you know he hates you, right?"

before entering his office, he looked back at the team downstairs, voice strict as usual but without serious intensity.

"and refrain from saying phrases like taking your breath away."

as they all hear his door closing, she turns to garcia with confidence and a bright grin, nodding reassuringly.

"he likes me."

[mschievousx]

[mschievousx]

hey quick question coz im really abt to start a luke thompson fic now,, can i still do the age gap thingy or is it too much now?

[mschievousx]

help me im having the urge to write the modern au luke t. for now and then akxhdndkjx THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP bro im serious frfr should iiii????

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

author's end note

omg im gonna cry y'all the most awesome readers. i actually have not finished any ffs before despite starting a bunch (bbc sherlock holmes, james bond, and marvel glaring at me). all of you became the very reason this ff has seen the sunlight. the plot, prologue, and excerpts of this have been sitting in my notes way before season three. i had written it originally with anthony as third party in mind and had to rewrite the prologue since we have kate now. idk what to say else i just love you all so much—still mad abt fucking eggs and some callbacks y'all missed tho. drop your favorite lines or quotes or anythingg. let's have an active convo abt everything that happened in the comments coz y'all fucking crazy and i love it!

easter eggs (only the ones i remember):

- callbacks like really a bunch of them i cannot name each but drop those you know on the comments pls coz im gonna jump off if y'all do not recall any coz that's where the story heavily relied i think.

- bruh this is literally somebody that i used to know by gotye titles of all the chapters are from the lyrics go check ittt, and like from the now and then as main title alone and the lines in the epilogue.

- righttt, fourty-six soldiers for the 47 ronin inspo!! that's like the part i loved the most coz it was so apt for the story and i just realized when we're at chapt nine

the writing process:

- brooo i swear this was supposed to be like a cliche romcom ff like the most that was to happen was the angry confession,, but then i laid down on my bed one night we were around chapter two or three and then it just entered my mind like im gonna fucking kill this girl and everything was a huge coincidence like how her father is in the military and such. so i just had fun really figuring the story out on the process too. in a way, i was like an audience myself as i watched it all unfold in my mind. oh and the harry potter one about the fourth book and sht was the real coincidence lol i did not know about that at all.

anyways, that was it and it's a wrap for now and then aaaaaaaa y'all consumed my life for two weeks thank you so much everyone! will always love youuu!

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

epilogue

london air has never suited her. she could not put a name on it, but it was not like home—neither was her dorm, to be honest. hence, she found herself walking the streets one good morning.

she has always wanted to go to that art museum nearby but could not find the time to do so. university sucks, she gathered, but does love her program wholeheartedly. she really should not have been on this field though. engineering and astrophysics, perhaps, but they were harder to reach and unpractical. it is not to say she does not love what she does currently.

entering the place, she could not count how many times she already whispered magnificent in her mind. the structure, the artworks, the architecture—everything.

but, more than that, the girl was in love with art. she could not create her own, for heaven's sake, but she does love it.

so, she made sure to wander around to the fullest. the least she could do was appreciate others' works. of course, there were paintings she did not feel much—good thing she was alone though or else the girl has already yapped about it. she continued to go in deeper in the exhibit, admiring the genius of multiple artists. some were even hundreds of years ago.

she always found it unfair how we could preserve objects for hundreds of years but find it awfully hard to reach a hundred years ourselves. the things that are made outlive the creator. it was utterly unfair, but she thought.

perhaps, art was not meant for the present but for the future. it was made, not for the current eyes but for someone in the years to come.

in that sense, art is a form of communication through time. a kind of time travel, per se.

it was quite similar to schrödinger's cat. you could be present and absent at the same time. and that's exactly what she thought before her eyes landed on a huge painting.

she read its label, which was quite brief compared to the others, only containing the name, the artist, the medium, and the year created.

the execution of lady loraine silva

benedict bridgerton, 1815

"such a sad painting." she muttered unknowingly out loud. the girl was taken by it, intimately observing the details of the artwork.

"with a sad story too."

a voice added beside her. she turned to the man with friendly eyes as they both stand in front of the painting, admiring it. she pouted at that, the exhibit only placed the name of the works and no description at all.

maybe, it was a well-known art that does not even need to be explained as it speaks for itself, which she had to agree it did speak for itself. she was almost embarrassed that her being uncultured is showing.

"i am afraid i do not know the story well."

the man turned to her with intrigue—not that his interest was not already piqued before he even stood beside her. his eyes shined at that. he loved nothing more than to talk about the things he is well-knowledgeable.

"lady loraine silva is an eighteen-year old who was executed along with her father's second-in-command, colonel montague, for high treason."

she looked at him as she listened, lips parting in surprise, "oh, wow. i'd have to agree with you then. that's a really sad story—at a very young age too!"

he nodded with closed eyes as he continued, "benedict bridgerton, the artist, is said to be her lover. he finished the painting just weeks after the execution happened."

"damn," she whispered, letting her sight fall on the artwork again, "so much grief on a single painting."

"this letter is written by him." he stepped forward, gesturing to the letter incased in a glass near the painting before turning to her.

she followed his lead, walking near to read the two hundred years old paper.

give me your permission and i will continue to love you in another. believe that i will run amock across the universe until i find you.

and so, when you see the world ending in the newspapers, trust that it is my work because i still have not met you again.

she pursed her lips after reading, the man beside her actively watching her reaction. it was immensely sorrowful that she could feel the torment they must have been at that time.

she did not want to lose hope though. that was not her. so, she raised her eyes at him with a shine.

"the world is not ending. perhaps, he found her already."

his eyes widened just quite a bit, lips parting by her exceptional thought before a warm smile settled on his features, "perhaps."

she grinned widely—it was almost childish.

she let her gaze fall back on the paintaing across them both, a comfortable silence between them. it was amazing, really. people are so much in tune with their emotions.

"luke thompson."

the man beside her spoke once again. he introduced charmingly, putting a hand forward.

"francine silva."

she did not think twice in grasping it—and as she did, she could almost recognise him. she could almost tell he was somebody that she used to know.

"a relative?" his brows raised in surprise followed by a chuckle as he gestured to the painting, "you cannot possibly be a descendant because... well."

francine laughed genuinely, the sorrow of the art in front of them completely forgotten, "you'd be surprised at the amount of people in the world who have that surname."

she continued, gesturing to the exhibit around them, "do you work here? you know an awful lot about the artworks."

"you'd be surprised at the amount of people who work here and don't know a thing about these all." his familiar lopsided grin showed.

he was effortlessly funny as the girl jokingly narrowed her eyes to the workers who had their backs on the two.

he chuckled as he clarified, "i am an actor."

"really? that's amazing!" her mouth was agape at that, shrugging off her earlier thoughts.

ah, maybe that's why he looked familiar earlier.

the silva pouted right after, "i apologise i do not recognise you. i don't watch much telly nowadays."

luke shook his head dismissively as if saying it was not a problem at all, "you don't have to apologise. i am in theater and plays more anyway."

she gushed at the mention, "oh, i love plays!"

he beamed at her excitement, placing his fingers below his chin as if in deep thinking, "let me guess what you do. i am quite good at this."

she laughed at him acting serious with the game he started himself as he leaned to her for closer observation, "something related with arts?"

she blew a sigh, seemingly sulking, "i still can't even paint."

he stepped back at that, crossing his arms with a teasing judging look, "well, why are you here then?"

"can't i be an enjoyer of it even if i can't do it myself?" she rolled her eyes at his accusing tone before she continued, pulling a face, "i am on a break. if i look at cells, muscles, and neurons from my textbook for another second, i will die."

"ah, medical school then." he stated with confidence as the girl nodded begrudgingly.

"well, since you're on a break," luke began with a genuine smile as he playfully blocked her view of the artwork in front, offering his hand, "francine silva, what do you say for a quick tea?"

she beamed at him, her eyes shining like how the stars did one strange night during the regency period. she placed her own hand at the care of his.

"i thought you'd never ask."

they both knew they had to exit the museum together. they did not understand it, of course, but they may have felt it.

they may have recognised each other by touch alone. now and then.

perhaps, he was indeed somebody she used to know.

curious—how many people must have been listening to music they made in their previous lives, read books they do not remember writing.

how many people must have stared at their own art in museums with no recollection of the pain they had to go through to create that.

luckily, they stumbled upon each other today, just like they had three times before.

once in eighteen-fifteen.

once in eighteen-ninety-four.

once in nineteen-fourty-five.

perhaps, their love would be a little less painful this time.

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw @datingbtr @peetahpahkah @myo11 @idek-what-to-put @aysamuka

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

xii. twelve: let it go

benedict bridgerton has not left his room for days now. he laid down with his agony, curled on his sheets. his pillow wet in the tears that served as witness of this torment.

most people grieve for those who don't know what they have until it is gone. but, what about those who do know? those who tried their hardest to hold on, yet could only look on helplessly while they lost the thing they loved the most. isn't it so much worse for them?

how many sleepless nights now, he does not know. when they were together, he avoided sleep so he could have more time with her. and now that she is gone, he wishes to sleep more so he might know fewer hours of her absence, and perhaps, spend longer in dreams with her.

it took him days to even talk, forgetting his own voice as he got so familiar with his cries. he wanted to be happy but found it painfully hard as her love was his happiness.

yet, what if love is not here to make us happy? perhaps, it exists to show us how much we can endure.

but benedict did not want to endure anymore.

for the first time in a long while, he was terrified. oh, how terrifying to face the future without the one you planned it with. how can you wake up from a nightmare if you are not asleep?

someone knocked on his door, one that he has recognised as anthony's knuckles by the firmness of the sound. he did not want to stay on his bed forever, so he desperately pushed himself out, trying to see what has been of the others. he neared to open the door slightly ajar before sitting down on a couch defeatedly, his brother surprised by the turning of the knob.

he stepped in, noting the desolateness of the room. he wanted to be there for him, but losing a loved one you were never able to fully love was a different kind of pain—one that anthony was not familiar with at all.

so, he did the only task he was left with. he walked to him, giving the pad he has been holding unto to his younger brother.

"her journal," he maintained his voice in a serene one, seemingly afraid that anything higher would trigger something from the other.

benedict turned to him at that with shock. he did not know she writes. he often thought the girl preferred saying her thought out loud than put it to paper. he opened it, reading from entry to entry, word by word.

a small snicker left his lips when the most he could read about was how the young little silva had fun infuriating him. it was clear on her handwriting—the curve of the letters, the stretch of its end. she was full of excitement when she was writing this. it was written in her point of view. he turned the twelfth page over, only to find that no entry follows anymore.

"why did she stopped writing when she was eight?" he turned to the older, eyes still with traces of redness. it was around the time armand had snitched his daughter to benedict, saying that the girl likes him.

"she said there was no longer a need to write what she felt because she can say it to you directly." anthony offered him a small smile, leaning down to turn the pages to the last, "she wrote on the day she left for the parliament."

the viscount watched as his brother traced each word with his fingers, afraid that it would be lost before he even realises it. noticeably, this one is written in the way her words talked to him directly. anthony placed a hand on his shoulder before stepping back again.

"i guess she knew she could no longer say it to you again."

my artsy,

i think i have loved you since i met you. i just mistook it for curiosity.

there are so many forms of love, and although it may have begun unromantically, i knew you were someone special to me. i would like to apologize—for coming into your life just to break your heart to pieces and leave you in the night.

i really would have loved to be able to attend the astronomical convention with you. we spent a night talking about it. if i knew i will not even get to go, i would have rathered spent the time with my lips in yours.

and so, if regrettably, the gods had it planned that this life of mine will never be enough to show you all my love, i promise—i will find you in another. and hopefully then, i still wouldn't run out of love and continue to pester you on to the next, and next, and for eternity.

because my love, we were never a match made in heaven. i am afraid afraid we are made in both far ends of the farthest cosmos.

and i will search every star, every galaxy, every universe, and every timeline until i find you.

know that i love you, down to my last word.

until we meet again,

forever your loraine

he pushed the pad farther from his eyes, afraid that the ink would smudge and her words can no longer be read. he held his head down, anthony going to his side at once and offered an arm at him.

benedict leaned weakly to him. he had told her before, and now it became his reality. the young lady was a fire—his fire—and he does not find himself worrying even if she will burn him. despite her absence, she still set him ablazed. he longs for nothing but her. how many life does he have to burn before he lives with her? and he could almost hear a whisper.

a hundred more. just a hundred more.

and he almsot felt relieved at that. a hundred more would be nothing. he was even prepared to burn thousands. that was how bewitched he was.

she was lovely—extremely, completely, entirely.

yet, even if it is full of love, all a ghost can do is haunt.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the following day, lady bridgerton could not hold it anymore. her son was spiralling away. she missed him. so, she ascended their stairs, aiming for the room of the said son.

anthony has told her that he was, at the very least, responsive. she did not want her son to be reduced as someone thankfully responsive. benedict has always been full of colors.

he was an art himself.

she knocked, turning the knob and was surprised it was not locked. violet entered slowly, seeing the figure behind a canvas.

she called out to him, "my son, come with us."

there was no response, continuing to walk towards the man. entering the room fully, she could see random sketches of the young silva.

picking up a paper, his mother commented, "she was beautiful."

violet could hear a small hum from her son, still not tearing his gaze away from the art he is currently working on, "she will forever be."

she warmly smiled at that. the son who has repeatedly told her before that what she and edmund had was rare, now utterly taken beyond mortal relations.

she placed an arm around his shoulders for comfort as she took a look at the painting, "you love her so much."

he added a detail on her features, "if i could say it in words, there would be no reason to paint."

her heart broke for his son she almost felt like it was her fault. maybe, that was why the two met each other and loved each other when they were still too young. they were not meant to grow older together.

she placed a peck on top of his head, "will you come out with us soon?"

benedict placed down his brush, exhaling defeatedly. nonetheless, he turned to his mother with a weak smile, "after i finish this."

violet nodded at that before giving him back his solitude. it took quite the days before he completed the artwork. the sun rose and set, yet the stars only dimmed.

on the night he finally finished the painting, the dead of night was clear and the stars began to find their shine once again. a hopeful thought graced his mind.

perhaps, someday, somewhere, at a less miserable time, they will see each other again.

he turned to his table, scrambling to get a paper and pen. he will not let the night go on as if it was just any other night. this darkness shined a light, one he only recognised when the girl was present. and maybe, you can call it a pathetic attempt of hope, it was the young silva watching him as his hand gripped the pen.

my loraine,

i will remember you longer than i knew you, and i will never come to terms with that.

thus, i will find you when you return, even if you are a thousand years late.

give me your permission and i will continue to love you in another. believe that i will run amock across the universe until i find you.

and so, when you see the world ending in the newspapers, trust that it is my work because i still have not met you again.

let us make us happen, some other time.

until we meet again,

forever your artsy

perhaps, they were right in putting love into books and poems—perhaps, it could not live anywhere else. they did say that everything will be fine in the end. and if it isn't, then it is not the end yet.

he has learned that grief is not accepting that she died. it is acknowledging that she is still alive in everything that he does.

and so he hopes—he hopes that all this grief stays with him because it is all the unexpressed love that he did not get to tell her. he will never let this go.

indeed, what is grief if not love persevering.

the pain will remind them of each other. when they meet later, if there is a later, they will recognise each other by it.

and just because this life is painful, it does not mean the next one will be.

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw @datingbtr @peetahpahkah @myo11 @idek-what-to-put @aysamuka

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

xi. eleven: every word you say

the sunlight did not reach her face. there was no sunlight in sight at all, aside from the most external door that shows a little hint of the visible spectrum. she stirred awake on the hard floor she slept, if she had any at all. she slowly sat up, finding the colonel on the adjacent cell, staring into nothingness.

they have yet to acknowledge each other's presence, trapped in their own battles inside. it was a surreal thing—to feel that it was both the end and the beginning. they have long let go of any hopes in receiving a lighter sentence, and that act is what made it possible for them to breathe despite the stifling feeling.

they have found freedom. losing all hope was freedom.

hence, the young silva raised her gaze to the ragged man across. his rank is not apparent on his current state, stripped off of dignity and proper legacy. she pulled him to the deepest ocean floor a man has never explored to.

"i am so sorry, raphael." raine broke the silence, feeling utterly apologetic for bringing the man with her in this fate.

"there is no need." he replied, closing his eyes as he leaned on the wall.

there really was no need. although his tone may have sounded frustrated, it was not directed to the girl. coming to think of it, he believes he would have done the same. he actually did, when he admitted to the suspicions just so she could be saved. the young silva, however, was hardheaded. a small chuckle left his lips as he looked at her in thought.

"you know, your father would be proud."

"oh, silence." raine rolled her eyes in jest, "i have not slept well with how much my eyes poured last night. do not make me cry again."

"but it is true."

"i know," she turned to him with weak eyes, "he asked me one time, if he was being too forceful in making me the viscountess or also the fact that he taught me things that a proper lady would not have preferred."

she laughed at the memory of her father teaching her how to hold a dagger at four, and her mother in utter worry as she caught them both.

"he was afraid he turned me into something he wanted instead of being someone I want to be."

the lady chuckled before continuing, "i told him I do not see myself embroidering at all. he laughed like crazy."

raphael weakly laughed at the story. by the mention of the girl's teaching experiences, a memory resurfaced in his mind as well.

"did you know that your father used to say you shoot like—i apologise for the term we use in the military amongst men—a virgin?"

despite being above average compared to the general public, her shooting really did not pass her father's standards. she could shoot, yes, but it would not have been enough for war. armand concluded that it was enough at the very least for self-defense.

raphael lifted one end of his lips, "i bet he would say otherwise now."

"that is because now i am not." she said with indifference, missing the way the man sat up from his leaning, turning to her fully.

"...wait, what—you mean...?" he asked curiously, his will returning to his voice in spite of their current situation.

raine looked at him and she found it interesting how curious he was at the topic. she let out a short giggle before slowly nodding. his mouth noticeably went ajar at that as he pried more.

"the bridgerton son?" she nodded once again, raphael leaning back down in surprise, shaking his head in disbelief, "your father is going to kill you."

"no need. the crown is doing it for him."

both laughed in chorus—how they could still jest in a situation like this is lost. perhaps, it was there saving grace. little joys do really count.

"i cannot fathom what you could possibly find so amusing in a place like this."

the queen's voice announced her arrival, her face grimacing in disgust at the place. the two greeted her with respect, standing from their position. she looked around, as if assessing their surroundings before settling her eyes to the girl.

her majesty sighed resignedly, "why ever did you have to shoot him?"

"he talked too much."

"that he did." she had no problem agreeing with that statement at all. the lord had been bothering her as well before about royal familial matters.

she clasped her hands, forming the words to say, "i have spoken to have a private execution for you both. it was granted. this is the least i could do, considering everyone has voted for a beheading instead of hanging."

raine nodded thankfully at that. she did not care much. either way, they would be dead. she inquired further, "the soldiers?"

"all free from the charges."

the two released a breath of relief. that was one of their main goals—for the rest of the troop to be able to go home and spend the following years with their families.

"thank you, aunt lottie. that is all i ask." she smiled warmly to the older woman.

"it will be in an hour." the queen noted, pertaining to the execution.

it must already be five in the afternoon already. the young silva did not know how time flew by so fast. she neared the girl, pushing a hand through the bars of her cell. raine held her hand as she continued.

"make death proud to take us."

raphael and raine's ears perked at that, their brows crossing as the queen took back her hand slowly, "how do you know of it?"

charlotte offered them a smile before she turned away, "your father had been a good company."

after the queen, major gilbert and the viscount bridgerton also stopped to visit them. the former relayed the gratefulness of the soldiers by the news of their freedom, while the latter updated her on how the queen is working on for a proper investigation against the said involved people in the treason with the help of the papers that was left to him. they did not take long, of course. the prison had that effect. it was very suffocating.

yet, her breath came back at the sight of the man in front of her.

"what are you doing here?" she said in concern, her lips quivering as she scrambled on her feet.

benedict reached to her, cupping her face with a tearful smile, "i told you. i will always be here."

she shut her eyes in shame of her current state, "you should not see me like this."

he chuckled with tears in his eyes, "like painfully beautiful?"

"like dying." she corrected in all honesty as he went silent, his heavy breathing speaking for himself.

his lips formed a thin line, features traced with painstaking gaze, "you are so unfair."

"i know," she admitted, knowing exactly what he meant, "i am so sorry."

he hushed her, his palms still on her cheeks as he soothed—both tracing the tear marks that intensified their emotions.

"forget about me. let go of this grief completely." she bleakly uttered, torment clear on her voice.

benedict immediately responded a multiple series of 'no' with an intense shaking of his head in disagreement. he would do anything to not forget her, both the joy and painful memories. he would cherish everything that she was present in. he would cling onto every word she utters.

"and in case you do forget about me," she continued, cupping his face with the utmost care, "i hope you remember by my touch alone.

he nodded fervently, "i love you."

he leaned his head to hers, their breaths exchanging as if he was used to the taste of pain on a dead friday night.

"i love you too."

they wanted to be together for as long as they could, and if that's not very long, well, then that's just how it is. and so, they held each other for the last time, coming to terms that if this life will be this cruel, he would spend the rest of his life praying that the next will not be.

he wanted to badly stay with her, to stop the time and prolong this moment. but, it seemed like he had angered the gods as a guard knocked his truncheon on the door, calling for him to exit for the fifteen-minute preparation before the execution.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

no later, guards entered the cells, taking both prisoners with no austerity in their touch. it was so strange for them to the point that it was hard to swallow. they have seized and lead criminals of darkest crimes to their end, yet they find themselves wanting to break the two out.

a viscountess and a colonel, both still children in their own way.

they have never thought there comes a day they would dread their work, and the executioner would say the same. because just as they all arrived in the execution stage, the forty-five soldiers, four members of the bridgerton family, and the queen are in attendance. as she caught sight of them, raine offered a brief, forlorn smile. these people are the ones who she is most thankful of.

executions happen at a faster pace than the young silva thought. one moment they were walking, the next they were kneeling. the executioner bowed to the both of them when they arrived, now asking for forgiveness on the duty he must do in a while. loraine granted him that.

he stood back up, announcing clearly, "you have been granted to speak your final words."

she turned to take a look at raphael, the latter nodding as a sign for her to speak for them both. raine casted her head down in thinking of the words she must say for the last time. she looked back at them all, to no one in particular, and dared to raise her eyes to her terrible fate as she began.

"when a crime goes unpunished, the world is unbalanced. when the wrong is unavenged, the heavens look down on us in shame. we too must die for this circle of vengeance to be closed. we will leave this record of our courage so the world will know who we were and what we did."

as she ended, they both tied the cloth firmly to cover their eyes. at the absence of sight, fear started to creep in. she could hear the executioner stepping away from her and to the colonel first. he declared with resolve, a means of comforting the two souls.

"death is proud to take you."

raine exhaled peacefully at that. it was a reply to their previous convictions—a way of reassuring they have done well.

and so, she did not panic, even when the sound of a drop on the floor filled the place.

raphael had been a great friend, soldier, and a person. the silva would not mind having to fight beside him once again.

the room stayed silent, with no other noise but the small whimpers of the audience. however, it was immediately overshadowed by the sound of footsteps, nearing her one step at a time. she guessed this must be it.

loraine's mind became blank. she hurried herself to think of memories—those that she would love to relive. she had a strange belief that it would not be as painful if she was feeling happy. but, it was also strangely hard to be one in the moment. all she could think of was that maybe, dying is the best option for her in this life. there was no home for her anymore.

and when she greets death, she hoped it is gentle. she hoped it is like going home. she believed a great happiness awaited her somewhere.

and for this reason, she remained calm as the axe hit her neck.

the audience found themselves letting go of the prolonged silence, breaking out to their cries. however, one person did not have any tear or voice left in himself anymore as he stared at the trail of blood that was starting to accumulate and flow away from the body.

indeed, a lot can happen in a day.

he was annoyed by her in one, taken by her in one, and loved her in one. he is grieving for her in one, and he will long for her in one.

and so, he was left with nothing but to face reality—realising that a very frightening thought is now shadowing him intimately.

when tomorrow depends to a person, what should one do? when that person is lost, does that mean tomorrow is too?

love was there. it may have not changed anything. it may have not saved anyone. but, it still matters that the love was there.

because, raine did not need to be saved. she needed to be found and appreciated for who exactly she was. her father has taught her that this world was only a preparation for the next, that all they can ask is to leave it having loved and being loved.

and benedict, until the very last moment, made that known to her and everyone else. she was found. she was appreciated. she was loved.

all by him.

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw @datingbtr @peetahpahkah @myo11 @idek-what-to-put @aysamuka

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

n. interlude: benedict

it was not love at first sight, of course. when he first met her, she was just a child—an extremely annoying one at that.

lady bridgerton invited the silvas for dinner, bringing their youngest for the first time since they arrived in the square a year ago. they all settled on the dining room, the girl sitting far away with francesca on her right. the youngest sat with each other. everyone engaged in a lively conversation while they were eating. the girl and francesca were sharing their interests when the second eldest son arrived—quite late for dinner.

he sat on the left of the youngest silva as it is the only free chair. a servant placed his utensils as he took his own share of food. benedict's spoon was halfway to his mouth when he noticed the five-year-old beside him staring intently.

"what?" he asked with cross eyebrows, eating the spoonful at once.

she monotonously said, "i do not like vegetables."

the bridgerton son chuckled, failing to see the connection, "and?"

"take it from my plate." she pushed her plate to his way discreetly.

"what do you mean?"

"fast before mother sees." her voice hurried as she saw her mother turning her way. she gave a wide smile before lady silva turned back to her conversation with lady bridgerton.

"now, hold on—"

benedict was not able to continue whatever he was going to say when the girl already placed the vegetables from her plate to his swiftly. as she took a look at his plate, she turned to him again.

"do you like chicken?" he only nodded at that, still processing the doubled number of vegetables on his plate.

"do you eat its meat?" she continued to push.

he turned to her with a blank look, "yes, why?"

"let us trade then. i only eat the crisp of the skin." she pushed her plate to his once again, offering the fried drumstick with no skin.

his pitch went high as he grimaced by the already eaten food of the girl, "no, i also like the skin."

"please?" she tried to pout as she always did with her parents and find it working all the time.

"no."

seeing as it did not work, her voice went monotone again, "let us exchange chicken."

he chuckled at her unrelenting desire to swap food, placing his spoon down to free his palms. he placed his hand between them in a greeting gesture, "i am benedict."

"okay, benedict. let us exchange please."

benedict could do nothing but laugh wholeheartedly, both completely oblivious on the looks that were sent their way as he gave her his dish.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the bridgertons are visiting the silvas this time, the families growing closer immediately in two years.

the young silva neared benedict after seeing him at a distant place from the rest, trying to sketch the landscape as well as the family. she sat beside him, peeking on the pad curiously.

"you draw?" he nodded simply, eyes raising to see the picture and down to his pad again.

"artsy," she commented with a pout, clicking her tongue in envy, "i cannot."

he turned to her in jest, snickering as he teased, "you do not have even a bone of artistry in you."

"bones do not dictate your traits and talents. it is the genetics." she looked at him like he is an idiot, which was only right considering his jest.

"how do you even know that?"

"i read books."

"shocking." he mocked, exaggerating his reaction.

she narrowed her eyes at him in irritation, "i am six. everyone can read by then."

"you are not three?" he placed his pad and pen down, mouth quite ajar in genuine shock this time. alright, three is perhaps an overstatement, but he really thought she was younger—the height did not help.

the young silva gritted her teeth at his surprised look which she mistook as mockery once again, "damn you."

as the words fell from her mouth, he instantly turned to her mother, "lady silva!"

she scrambled to him, putting her hands on top of his mouth in panic as her mother turned to them, "nothing, mama!"

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

another fine day in the bridgerton's household when the youngest silva ran, once again, in panic to the first person she saw—which in this case is the second eldest daughter.

"eloise, you are ben's favorite sibling, right?" she asked, breathing heavily from all the running.

"i mean," the girl smiled at the question as she rolled her eyes to shrug it off, "they are all fond of me."

"great!" the eight-year-old exclaimed with a clap, going behind the girl and taking her blanket from the picnic set up she had, "hide me."

"what? why—" her question was muted when a louder voice bellowed close to them.

"loraine! you little—have you seen her, eloise?" he inquired with irritation, taking notice of the way his sister smiled awkwardly before answering.

"...no?"

"okay." he nodded with strange calmness, inhaling deeply. it did not help at all that the girl's foot was poking out of the blanket, "if you see her, tell her to be a lady enough and face me."

"what did she do?" eloise asked curiously as to what would warrant her brother's anger.

"she broke my pens!"

"it was an accident!"

raine took off the blanket from herself and stood as she clarified her side of the story. benedict's irritation resurfaced at the sight of the silva.

"four pens?!"

"i thought they were anthony's!

he scoffed at the thought of anthony touching a pen other than for his official papers, "my brother does not lift a pen. he only has one!"

she got off of eloise's picnic set up and neared the man, "how am i supposed to know that?! he is not the one i like!"

"oh, do not use what your father said." he rolled his eyes, remembering armand snitching his own daughter to him.

"it was true!" raine pouted in annoyance at him not taking it seriously, "i like you, okay? i apologise i broke your pens. i will buy some for you."

she ammended with crossed arms and brows. benedict looked at her for a moment, replying before turning to go back inside the house, "good."

she turned away herself, settling to stay with whatever eloise was doing and chatted with her, not noticing the time passed as the moon rised.

just a day later, loraine arrived at their home once again, poking the man who was sketching with anthony's only pen, "go change, let us buy your pens."

"ask your servants to buy it." he replied with indifference, focusing on his pad.

"let us just go," the girl insisted, lightly grabbing a pinch of his clothing, "you know what to pick."

benedict turned to her with narrowed eyes, "you are really taking what your father said seriously?"

"it is serious." she stressed. his eyes glistening turned from suspicion to curiosity of her agenda, placing the pen down again.

"are you asking me to promenade with you?"

her brows raised at the mention of the unknown word, "what does that mean?"

the bridgerton's lips morphed into a smile, laughing at nothing in particular but her cluelessness apparently. he put down his legs from the chair's armrest, standing up as he ruffled her hair with excitement.

"wait for me."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the now fourteen-year-old lady has been spending an awful lot of time with the viscount bridgerton. the death of her older brother changed their dynamics. it was probably because she no longer has the freedom of being a second born. and although she was a girl, the weight of the family now rests on her shoulders after her father.

benedict did not like this change one bit.

while she was still annoying and exciting him at the same time to no end, she was maturing in an insane rate. although he would not say it out loud, he knew he was craving for her presence.

and so, he neared the two who were sitting peacefully and talking about random things in the garden. they turned to his sudden arrival as he wasted no time to offer.

"there is a pleasure garden opening. let us go."

raine's lips formed a smile at the invitation, the man beside her snickering, "just call it a fair. she is getting ideas in her head."

"i am not!" she strongly disagreed, slapping anthony's arm at his implications.

at her reply, benedict turned to her curiously as she got what his brother meant, "how do you even know such things?"

she rolled her eyes as if the answer was evident, "i am spending my days with three rakes. what did you expect for me to learn?"

he shook his head dismissively at that, returning his proposition, "are you coming or not?"

"yes!" she replied with all excitement, standing up in an instant as she linked her arms with his.

the eldest raised his head to them with jest, "does the invitation extend to me?"

the pair turned to him at once, yelling in chorus, "no!"

anthony laughed at the two before they bid their farewells, reminding the young silva of her assignments to review for the role of a viscountess. that was when benedict realised something about the two of them and he felt like an idiot.

his brother and loraine were not in love with each other, of course, but there was love—and benedict could not be more thankful that they have each other for certain things in life that only the two of them can understand.

arriving at the fair, they did not waste a single second in exploring all the plays—more like raine dragging him forcefully everywhere but who cares. the man himself certainly did not care.

they played with a lot of things—her winning almost every time she touches a game. as the night went deeper, the moon higher, the young silva hopped her way to the carousel, inviting the man to join her.

he should have known really, that although there was a proper seat similar to those in carriages, she would choose to mount the horses. and so, they did, side by side with each other. and he thinks, it must have been that moment.

it was not love at first sight, of course. he has known her already and they simply happened to want to spend the night in great fun. yet, somehow, in the moment he was watching her smile serenely, genuinely... he suddenly realised he was incredibly taken by her.

yes, it was not love at first sight.

it was something more magical.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

her first season came, and that meant her first-ever ball. benedict did not want to leave her side. for the lady in front of him, the place was crawling with old crocodiles. there were men worse than him present.

but, he needed to leave. everyone's eyes have been on them even before they began dancing. if he stayed with her more tonight, they would be named as the match by the queen. she was one of the most sought-after debutante of the season, for god's sake. what was he doing? and so, he left her and strayed far away from her presence.

fate, however, had other plans. because when he entered the gentlemen's club to fetch his brother, there sat the young silva with the biggest grin ever. he did not know how it happened, actually, but he just found himself already playing cards with the girl and now on the verge of losing in the presence of other lords who have witnessed their bet. then, benedict saw it clearly. raine shifted her cards and placed a losing pair.

she purposely lost against him.

he was not insulted. he appreciated the girl's gesture, and so he followed her when she was fleeing from her father.

in the next following days, the girl invited herself to his trip to the art exhibit. he found her company fun even though she has always been a critic of his works. when he caught wind of the news that there was going to be a medical convention on that day, he quickly excused himself from the promenade with his family.

benedict went to the convention and was looking for her. he found it strange that she did not invite him, considering how pushy she was to join him last time. his thoughts were interrupted when he finally caught sight of the girl in a close conversation with a man he did not recognise. the whole time, he walked around the convention, keeping his distance from them. that was how he spent his day and immediately bolting out as soon as he saw the girl finally exiting the place. he did not plan for her to see him across the street though and invite her for a late lunch.

benedict did not go to a brothel that day.

then, hawkins balloon day came. he entered the scientific dome in hopes of catching sight of the girl. however, he saw another woman. he met lady arnold. he listened to her, and she was utterly similar to loraine. she was fun, exciting, challenging, and smart like her. the only distinction was that lady arnold was older, this time. it was the bridgerton boy's first crisis. he could not look at the young silva's eyes all throughout the rest of the day.

rightly so because the following day, completely unaware of everything that has happened to the young one, he went to lady arnold's home as a caller. he was enticed and he could not control himself. if you ask him now, benedict would answer. it was not him that day. it was the monster. one thing led to another and he found himself bare, body to body with the said lady—only to feel disgusted the second after her pure name slipped from his lips, his manhood in the mouth of another.

and so, the only thing that entered his mind was to go to her and convince her to stop the proposals—to let go of his loraine. he could not hold it for longer. he wanted to cling on his sanity. the silva's presence and passion have reached him so desperately. he resolutely took a step away from her, believing it to be the most logical thing to do in the situation.

yet again, fate pulled him to her. his sanity completely lost when the news of her being called to the parliament and queen for interrogation and not a formal trial reached his ears. it was a bliss—one that he would remember each movement. he touched her, void of innocent intentions for the first time, only to find out that there was no disgust at all. the revulsion came from the idea that it was not her he's been laying with this whole time.

she tasted like art, painting and poetry all together. she smelled like the color paints he often used, mixing black and white to find the neutral. she sounded like his favorite classical piece. she looked like his favorite scenery. she felt like his favorite brush, one that you would recognise by a single touch.

so, no. he did not love her. love was such a vague, weakened word. she was everything that he loved.

he loved through her, by her, and for her.

and if you think this has a happy ending, then you have not been paying attention.

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw @datingbtr @peetahpahkah @myo11 @idek-what-to-put @aysamuka

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

x. ten: live that way

it was the first time in a while that the sunlight touched her face and it did not hurt. she stirred awake, the light seemed to be poking her from sleep. raine tossed, pulling the sheets deeper to her.

"i was afraid you will not be here when i wake up."

his morning voice greeted her as he placed a hand on her head and played with her hair. ah yes, last night really did happen. she buried herself on his chest, taking in his natural smell.

she looked up at him, her lips grazing his collarbone as she spoke with a smile, "anthony and violet are going to kill us."

benedict chuckled lowly at her jest, "they will not."

she returned back to his chest, closing her eyes once again. he planted his face on top of her head, seemingly taking in her smell as well. this was it. these were the arms she has longed for—the comfort she has been seeking.

"i am too tired." her muffled voice resounded.

he planted a kiss on her for solace, "it is alright. i will be here."

raine pursed her lips, deciding if she should say anything about her grave situation later and ruin the moment or not. but as we have always known, she was a frank one. it would not be her if she wasn't.

"this may be the last time we will be together."

"then i will wait for you."

he replied with ease, professing confidence amidst the direness of everything around them.

raine was sure though—that the intensity of the situation has not sunk in on benedict yet. she was with him, alive and well right now. how easy it was to be lost in the blissfulness of the moment.

she slowly sat up, leaning for a kiss on his forehead as she removed herself from the sheets, "let us go. they will grow wary of our absence."

raine clothed herself as the man kept his eyes on her. she turned to him, instructing that he follow down after a couple of minutes to avoid suspicion from the family. she turned the knob, exiting the room silently.

as she looked up to walk, she was met with a viscount already staring curiously at her.

"what? it's my room. ho—how was the ball?" she said in a pitched voice, quite defensively, causing anthony to narrow his eyes at her.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

she ate quite the breakfast, treating it as if it was her last meal. at the very least, she was happy she ate with the bridgertons—the only family she has left.

after a meal for breakfast, she excused herself at once, quickly going to anthony's office with raphael in tow. they have been going back to back for strategies on what to do for more than two hours already, now settling in silence to let themselves take a breath. the colonel called for her out of the blue, the latter waiting for him to continue.

"lord high chancellor scott will be there."

she looked with confusion at that. raine was familiar of the man, yes, but she has not seen him ever.

"i do not know what he is like."

"raine, i have not told you one thing." he began, words laced with shame, "they took general's body."

in truth, she knew already. raphael would have done anything to bring her father to her even if a lifeless body. he would actually give his life to his superior since the general saved him before in the streets of homelessness too.

"i have figured, given that you returned alone without his remains. you would not have left if you could."

she tightly smiled at him, the most form of comfort they could achieve in this moment.

"it was him. he was there when they attacked our quarters, ordering his men." he revealed, regret in his voice on how he was not able to do anything to save the general in that time.

raine put her pen down, closing her eyes for a second before turning to him, "why are you telling me this just now?"

"i was debating myself whether i should." he replied with doubt. he knew how the girl can get mad easily sometimes, especially that concerning her family.

she stared out of nowhere, trying to think of something. an idea popped in her head as she spoke with a realisation, "we will use that to our advantage then."

"no, that's..." raphael seemed go have caught on what she was thinking. he showed his clear disagreement with her plan, "you will be charged for high treason."

"by questioning his person?" she scoffed at the idea of a soft high chancellor.

"by questioning his person, you are accusing him." the colonel retorted, his arms on his waist, thinking of other solutions as well.

"it is not an accusation if it is true."

"it is an accusation if we cannot prove it."

raine knew he was right. they could do nothing about it if they cannot prove it, "we can build the story around us, put the rest of the soldiers outside of it all."

he sat beside her on the couch, facing her calmly as if giving up, "they all knew what we were doing, raine. there was nothing like only the general and i. the whole troop knew the issue we found and the measures we were taking. they are all highly ranked men and were the most trusted by your father."

"i do not care." she said with a slam, staring him down with firm, "forty-six soldiers, raphael. forty-six."

despite her best efforts, a tear fell from her already luminous eyes. the thought that these men who should have been celebrated by their services are coming close to dishonor angers and pities her at the same time.

"i will not let you all die."

he placed a hand over hers, "we are soldiers. we have been prepared for this."

"not without dignity."

raine declared with might. she will make sure to turn the tables, and if it will not, she will fucking flip it over.

he could do nothing but nod slowly, accepting her point. he took a glimpse at his watch, ruffling the girl's hair as he stood up.

"it's noon."

she nodded, following the man outside the study, "gather them."

currently in the hallway, waiting for carriages after carriages to arrive, the second daughter caught sight of her and took her hand.

"raine, come. just for a while."

she followed the young woman up to her bedroom where penelope stands, waiting in anxiety. eloise gestured to the redhead as she offered.

"penelope can help you turn the people's favor to you."

getting a hint of what she was trying to say, raine tightly smiled at them, "lady whistledown?"

penelope stopped her tiny movements of unease as she turned to the silva, both of them asking her in chorus, "how did you know?"

"no," she ignored the question. she was a daughter of a general, of course she would know. she stepped towards the girl, addressing their idea to help, "i appreciate you both trying to help, but no. they knew of my father's activities and he was a general."

raine took the featherington's hands and held them softly, "my best bet is they know you are lady whistledown and is just letting you be for now since you have not attacked them directly."

"but you cannot go there like this." eloise voiced in distress and worry.

she did not realise that other people were being affected by her situation this much. the young silva thought she has managed to keep them off and away—enough that they would not need to worry. evidently, that was not the case.

"come here." and so, she placed each of her arms on the girls' shoulders, bringing them in on a tight hug. it may have been her imagination, but eloise let out a small sob as she wrapped her arms on her.

they exited the room after, descending it with begrudging steps. the carriages have arrived and are only waiting for them. the bridgertons gathered near the door to bid her farewell. she turned, addressing them for possibly the last time.

"i ask of you all, do not go anywhere near the palace."

the matriarch could not help herself but grab the girl, enveloping her in one of the warmest hugs the young one has ever received. violet kissed the top of her head, a gesture that says all will be well.

raine knew it was not going to be.

and so, she continued on her way, exiting the bridgertons' home to see the carriages lined up, all filled with soldiers. they waited for her to get in just as benedict came forward. he held her hand tightly, prompting her chin up as he caught her lips in his.

she tasted like heartache and war.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the twelve carriages that contained the forty-six soldiers and loraine silva arrived at the front of the palace in a processional manner. a significant number of citizens have gathered. at the sight of the hottest topic of the town—the country, even—some were yelling in support to them and some against.

the viscountess, the colonel, and the major sat on the first carriage, the men exiting first. she followed, not sparing any look to the people. they could not affored to cheer nor smile. this was the deciding moment of their future.

raphael and raine entered the palace alone, the soldiers all lined up in a row outside, facing the people. they were greeted coldly and strictly by both royal guards and other military that she was sure must have interacted with her father at least once. they were guided into different rooms. she was given nothing but the wary and observing gazes of the unknown soldiers guarding her.

the colonel has been away for more than an hour now. she understood that they were interrogating him first, squeezing all the details before they would deal with her nuisance. not later than her own planning of her statements in her head, the door opened to reveal the man, head leveled properly. but, she could tell. that it was only his rank that made him still have the dignity to raise his head. however, the inner raphael? she could see him conceding and casting the head downwards.

she was prompted to stand up, them crossing each other as she left the room and walked towards where raphael came from. the doors opened to reveal the queen, brimsley behind, and the lord high chancellor with two other parliamentary members and two decorated generals, it seems.

raine sat across them all as lord scott did not waste time to begin his questions, "did you know of your father's treacherous plans against the crown?"

just by the first question, she already knew she wanted to shoot him. he was enjoying this, evidently on his tone.

"i did not."

he scoffed sarcastically at that, turning to the other members present as if gaining their attention, "i find it hard to believe, considering how close you both were, especially after the death of your mother and brother—god rest their souls."

it was a foul. mentioning them both amidst all of this was a great foul. she narrowed her eyes at him, firmly and armed as her voice sounded with confidence, increasing in volume.

"i did not know because there were no treacherous plans in the first place."

the members of the parliament leaned back slowly with their chins raised in an insulted manner. the two generals present turned to them with a curious look. ah, these generals are not involved in this.

lord scott noticed their interest piqued and hurried to push the matter to the young lady, "major general silva was reported of having questionable communications within the military force. we were monitoring him for months."

he continued to reveal the story he has crafted so well against them, "in the most recent event, he was caught exchanging fire with the british military, resisting in the quarters that must have served as their unofficial office for such activities."

she sat up straight with a piercing look at him, offense clear intended on her tone, "and who can attest to this?"

"girl, you question the credibility of the sources of the highest governments of the crown?!" he bellowed, sitting at the edge of his seat as the other members gestured for him to calm down.

"yes, in fact, i do."

"loraine, address the assertions."

the queen spoke for the first time. ah, she was not involved either. raine could tell she was trying to help, trying to get her out of this.

"your majesty," the girl began, turning to the queen with respect in contrast to the lord high chancellor, "my father was not a traitor and neither am i or raphael."

"where is the quarters where armand was unfortunately killed?" she asked outright.

the young silva could see right through the queen's plans. her majesty has conceded the matters of the girl's father. there was no saving his legacy—he was not saved already. it was a lost cause.

charlotte focused on his offspring, saving her from this is the only thing she could do for the family. and fortunately, the girl looked like she did not know anything.

raine had no words to answer at all. all the planning they did, all the stories she prepared—they went to the drain in just one question.

the queen waved her hand, the footman understanding her language. he opened the door and there enters raphael. he sat on the other chair beside the girl as charlotte continued.

"colonel montague has admitted to all suspicions." at the mention, raine turned to the man instantly, looking at him in surprise. the queen continued, "your lack of knowledge in the basic information of their activities suggests that you were indeed oblivious to the acts of treachery to the crown."

the girl glared at the queen, completely opposing her idea of helping. she declared clearly, word per word in firmness, "there was no betrayal from our end."

she clutched the couch, anger rising at their refusal to listen and acknowledge her side. other than being known for her unceasing confessions to the second bridgerton son, raine is also infamous for her hatred and passive-agressiveness.

"the colonel has copies of multiple reports that were altered to provide misinformation and cause mayhem in the military communication." her voice maintained the strength of her argument, "they were investigating it for months, even during my debut. we can call people as witness—"

raine held her tongue in time. she does not wish to put people on the government's eyes anymore. she swiftly dismissed the previous idea, continuing her previous point.

"the night they were ambushed on the way to the ball... tell them, raphael."

she turned to the other man who stayed silent the whole time, beckoning him to talk about what he witnessed in all actuality. however, the latter refused to utter a single word. she furiously turned back to the high officials.

"he saw the british insignia—the very people my father promised to protect the crown with." the young one spat the words with absolute hate, pointing her finger to the high chancellor, "and in fact, when they attacked my father in the quarters, you were there lord scott, were you not?!"

"you dare declare such accusation when you do not even know its location!" lord scott raised his voice, growling in her disrespect, "we are not here to address the matters of your father. he was a traitor. you are here to be questioned about your involvement in the said treason!"

raphael moved, raising his head to the officials with a determined voice, "i have conceded to everything. i have divulged all you wanted to know. the girl is entirely unaware of our activities!"

"oh, stop making her look like a child!" the high chancellor sneered at him, looking at loraine with sarcasm, "the lady has been raised by a general. everyone knows of your physical skills and marksmanship, taught by your very own father since you were young."

he stood up with authority, slamming his words with distaste. he stepped forwards as he pointed down a finger to stress his point. the young silva's eyes darkened at that, her mind going blank as he continue.

"there is no need to stray far from the truth."

he was too loud for her, his words biting her. she recognised this tension, this atmosphere. this is the battle. this is the war.

"you grew up mostly with him, taught everything by him, discussed plans with him, strategised with him," he paused, as if gathering his breath before he spat with malice.

"and committed high treason with him!"

raine stood up at once, unclasping her gun from her thigh in the process as she shot the man on his chest twice, his blood getting on her dress and features. the queen jumped and recoiled at the sound, brimsley nearing her instantly. the rest of the members jumped away and the generals reached for their guns.

loraine silva has shot the lord high chancellor.

one of the generals opted to reach for the actively dying lord scott, his hands on his chest as his mouth froze and jaw locked in neural shock.

the girl turned to the general and pointed her gun at him, "help him and see what follows."

he slowly backed with the queen gesturing for him to stay down as well. her majesty understood the young lady. she was not a threat to anyone else at the room as long as they were not a threat to her.

she walked to near the chancellor that leaned back helplessly with blood on the foamed chair, "you were right about everything but one."

she did not dropped her gun, still aiming it to his head now with clear dark intent. her voice was neither loud nor small, neither hard nor soft. it was the kind that would cause you to squirm.

"we did not betray the crown. we did not betray its people."

her voice did not declare war. it proclaimed the ending.

"and if we did," she leaned down to him as if whispering, "none of you will ever know."

raine stood straight up, sneering at the chancellor below her, "we would not have been as stupid as you."

she pulled the trigger thrice more—with no mercy or pity, with no regards of the people around her. seeing him finally stop breathing, she dropped her arm down, still gripping the gun hard.

"it would have done you good to know that i have his patience as well."

by the remnants of her rage, the future became clear—it's going to fall apart.

"your majesty," raine turned to the queen. the two generals behind her went for their guns seeing the girl's back on them. charlotte raised her hand immediately, halting the actions of both men as the silva continued, "the reports and all related documents are in the care of viscount bridgerton."

she dipped her head down in a bow for a few respectful seconds before standing back upright, feet together, leaning in a martial manner.

"i apologise for the mess, aunt lottie."

raine walked away, raphael following closely. he wanted to say something so badly, but was fearful of disturbing the already unstable state of the girl.

they exited the palace with no other encounters, likely because of her majesty's intercession. reaching outside the fence, the people tripling in number than earlier. they all yelled unintelligibly at the sight of them. her father's soldiers turned about face at their arrival. it was obvious that they heard the gunshots—her father's silver flintlock pepperbox has a hell of a sound.

gilbert returned raphael's gun, the latter cocking it immediately up in the air before firing. the crowd silenced in chorus as the girl inhaled deeply.

"each and every one of you has seen my father. major general silva had always been for the people."

while her father carried the rank of a major general, he was not disconnected with the people. yes, he was still distant for security purposes, but for a man his rank, he willingly shook hands with the people that deserved it.

and, armand often told her that he gets to shake more hands of the commoners and the general public than the officials.

"he was not a traitor. they have blamed their own treachery to my father, killed my father, and killed his loyal men—men that were all defending the crown and its people. this is what has become of our society. i do not care if you are busy with the social season and of other pleasures. this should be your duty as a person behind the crown."

she walked at the center, nearing them all so that they would hear her words better—words that they shall engrave in their hearts and minds, etched in their very soul.

"i stand before you all, not only as his daughter, but as someone who will never sit whilst injustice is apparent."

the viscountess silva's voice deepened with conviction. her eyes were flaring with truth and patriotism. she caught everyone's gaze and held it until it hurt.

"one who will not cover her ears against the screams of the dead."

"one who will not close her eyes in the midst of people abusing their power."

"one who will never sleep soundly whilst there are bodies of the wronged under each of our beds. "

all of her will went to her voice as she declared her final words to the public.

"this is the age of awakening. do not go gentle into that good night!"

raine continued to speak in the words coded by her father, the late major general, the superior of all. the forty-six soldiers answering with equal strength.

"min koimitheís ísycha ekeíni tin kalí nýchta!"

"orgí, orgí enántia sto svísimo tou fotós!"

they placed their right fists on top of their heart as the young lady and raphael found the royal guards and other military personnel. there was no escaping their situation now. what they did ensured only one path, and that was their head to the execution block.

the queen has ordered to not execute them on the spot. she reasoned that it would mean making them martyrs on the eyes of the people and they want to avoid that—although in truth, she pushed for them to have a private execution because that is what the two wanted.

viscountess loraine silva and colonel raphael montague turned about face to the rest of the soldiers. the latter saluted in uniform to the colonel, him returning it. they were saluting their ranks for the last time. she saluted the men this time, and by her surprise, the soldiers then turned to the young lady and saluted to her.

they were not supposed to salute back to her. she has no official rank.

raphael nudged her, prompting the girl to dismiss the salute as did the soldiers. a warm smile settled on her lips before both of them turned to the guards.

this is it. there is no going back.

and just as raine entered the vehicle to transport them to the cells, she completely missed the familiar head standing out from the crowd like a sore thumb despite her telling him not to attend.

once again, he could do nothing but hold his head down and shut his eyes at the end of the day. his palms formed a fist, biting his lips intensely as tears graced the floor under him.

every storm runs out of rain.

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw @datingbtr @peetahpahkah @idek-what-to-put @aysamuka

[mschievousx]

HII!!!! JS READ CHAP 9 AND LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO HANDS DOWN ONE OF THR BEST CONFESSIONS IVE READ HOLY SHITTTT!!! bae can i be tagged🙏🙏🙏 also was wondering what your update schedule is bc holy crap this was so good I'll be logging on every 5 mins to check if my favorite angst couple is back🥲🥲 OKAY ANYWAYS GIRL THIS WAS SO GOOD PLOT IS AMAZINGGG

@aysamuka bro damn thank u so muchhh! i honestly dont know how y'all so fired up when i just revealed that our local slut is somewhat a pedo 🤔 babe there's no update schedule here,, i be clicking post as soon as im done (as evident by the typos) anywaysss, we back in classes so i'll prolly post later at night or tomorrow,, im in UTC+8,, thank you again for being so hyped up bout the fic!!!

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

ix. nine: need your love

loraine did not sleep a wink at all. writing only a quarter of the piece for her father yet, she was too tired to lift her fingers anymore. it was a surprise that the family did not ask her about playing the piano last night. they must have missed the way she slammed her fingers on it. that or they chose to be silent about it, respecting the girl's sorrows.

when the sun showed up, the bridgertons coming down one by one, she simply pretended she woke up earlier than them as they crossed each other on the stairs on her way to freshen up.

after they have all done their individual activities and had breakfast together, lady bridgerton ushered her children in the drawing room. the young silva had told her yesterday that she wishes to inform the others too, if it was okay with her. she believed that they deserve to know as well, considering they had their moments with her father too.

"why are we gathered here?" eloise asked, noting the expressions of the people who already know.

violet lightly coughed to compose herself and get their attention, "we have something to tell you all, eloise."

she turned to the young silva, gesturing for her to continue. the girl nodded, pausing to herself and thinking the right words to say. but there really was no easy way to say it, is there? the person they once loved is dead. there is no way around it.

"my father has passed."

she uttered in one breath, the second daughter walking to her at once with a quiver, "oh, raine."

violet's lips formed a thin line as she turned to her other kids, "armand's death is a complex situation, so i ask you all to not let the news leave this home."

her two youngest nodded forlornly as francesca was the only one who found her voice despite the news, "of course, mama."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the three people in the center of this battle settled in anthony's study once again. it has been their office, the only place they can plan with no worry of listeners.

"we must plan our course of action." anthony voiced with tenacity in his eyes.

the lady turned to him as she took a sit on the couch, "we, anthony? no, you are not involving yourself on this."

he regarded the silva in a scolding tone, "there is no need for you to go through this alone. we can help. we can ask lady danbury, the duke of hastings—they will be willing to help."

she could understand his earnestness to be of any form of aid to her. her family was there for him all those hard times before. but this one, she was adamant to let him stay out of this.

"i am not involving civilians in this, anthony. if i could, i will not even involve father's soldiers."

raphael turned to her at the mention, the look of disagreement clear on his features, "raine, with the general gone, we are all at your disposal."

"and this is me saying i will not dispose of you all!" she looked at him directly in the eyes with firmness, placing no room for arguments. the young silva's voice has never been so clear and intact than that.

their heated exchange was interrupted when a knock on the door resonated in the room. major thorpe informed them of his presence before the viscount responded for him to enter.

the soldier acknowledged the two men before going straight to the girl, passing her a letter with the highest legislature's seal. she opened it with unfavorable feeling as gilbert stepped back and out of the room.

raine slowly stood up, eyes still on the paper as raphael walked to her and peered at the paper. his breath hitched at the contents he read, turning away as he raised his head with closed eyes in defeat. the girl dropped her arm hopelessly.

"the parliament has called for our presence."

anthony shut his eyes closed at that. now that the higher government is involving themselves, it will be much harder to find a way out. raine continued in disbelief, "tomorrow afternoon."

"it will be my death." the colonel stated, acceptance and denial mixed in his tone.

"i will go alone." she declared firmly to him once again.

raphael wanted to scoff but he could not bring himself to do so at the graveness of their situation, "absence is punishable for high treason. i am dead either way."

"they have figured we know." she said in realisation, ignoring the former's disagreement of her idea.

the government knowing that they now know of the crown's atrocities to its own people is the most terrible thing that could happen in their current position. they are being left with almost no move or strategy to execute.

"you cannot go." the viscount expressed his thoughts, "there will be a ball tonight. you can attend and we can use it in our advantage to get the ton on our side."

she really appreciated the fact that anthony was so invested in helping them get out of this, but there was simply things that are hard to get out of. she let out an exasperated sigh as she ran her fingers between her hair, muttering to herself, "how did things turn to this?"

raine wanted to tear her hair so much, punch someone, or run yards away. she badly wanted to release the tension that has been building up in her for days, and now this on top of that.

she looked at anthony, "i will not go to the ball, but you must. your absence will reach them and they will link you to use, extending the target to you and your family."

the girl was trying to control her breathing. one problem at a time. she chanted to her head, but fate had other plans. because just after she is trying to deal with one, another came in the form of a newspaper.

gilbert came in, not bothering with a knock this time as urgency in this one is much higher. he immediately handed her the newspaper, announcing the news himself.

"it is out, my lady. they have released the death of the general.

"what?!" raphael exclaimed in immense anger, head noticeably heating in fury.

raine read the headline with incredility in her tone, "they are claiming my father betrayed the crown."

in just a span of a single night, the government had managed to turn the story around. this is very disadvantageous for them. the government releasing what happened first would mean them getting the support of the people first. and the support of the people, no matter how uninformed, is a monstrous force.

raphael continued to read the contents of the column aloud, "they named us under suspicion as well as the rest of the troops."

raine passed the newspaper to him as she sat down in weariness, head casted down in deep thinking, "fuck, they have pushed us to a corner."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the bridgertons have already left for the ball tonight. loraine situated herself in her guest room, joined by raphael as they go through different ideas and strategies on what to do for tomorrow.

they needed a very good plan, or else no one is getting out alive. and so far, there has not been one good plan at all.

"we must parade then, on our way, to sway the people's favor." raine pitched, focusing on turning the people to them so that at the very least, the government could not do anything rash immediately.

the colonel clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he shook his head disapprovingly, "they will not be swayed by a single parade of traitors."

the two have been at this for hours now, their ideas getting more and more desparate as the time passes. he looked at her solemnly as he continued.

"you must understand, we are not under suspicion, raine. they have decided we are traitors and we will be written in history as such."

the young silva wanted to tell him otherwise. she wanted to tell the man that the life they have spent on defending the country would not go to waste—that their legacy would not be reduced to something as shameful as treason.

she bit her lips as she herself shook her head in worry, "we can at least try—put on theatrics so that we will at least leave alive after, no matter the sentence."

there was no way out, raphael knew. hence, he admired the girl for trying so hard to save him, to save the soldiers, to save herself.

he inhaled before throwing a pitch of his own, one he was sure the girl would strongly disagree, "we could play like i have taken you hostage as we exit. this way, you will be free of their suspicions."

she placed her pencil down harshly and turned to him, "while you take the fall? no!"

he sighed resignedly, leaning back on his chair, "stop trying to find a way for me to live. no one will believe i do not know anything about the general's plans."

the girl was about to respond, when he continued, "raine, what we should be planning for must be directed on ensuring that our story will not fall on deaf ears. there is no getting out of this unscathed. the thing we must fight for is the truth."

he pushed himself away from the table. he stood with a notable grief on his step, ruffling her hair childishly—the only little act that would bring them the smallest joy in this moment, "we can talk about it again in the morning."

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the miserable planning earlier took a toll on her. even the room could not offer her any comfort. and so, she stood up and made her way to the balcony. perhaps, the fresh wind would greet her gently.

raine has been awake for two days straight now, and although she can clearly feel the exhaustion, she had no intention of sleeping. depending on how tomorrow goes, she might not even come out of it alive. there is no point in sleeping now if she will have an eternal one soon. and so, she would like to relish the little moments.

however, her peaceful silent conversation with the night is disrupted when a rushed sound of footsteps grew louder and louder, nearing her.

a certain second son appeared on the balcony.

benedict placed a hand on his chest as he bent down, catching his breath as cold sweat run through his features.

raine looked at him in confusion, "what are you doing here? is the ball done?"

"you must not go tomorrow."

he ordered pointedly as if a command as he stood up straight, chest still heaving deeply. the young silva scoffed at what he said, finding it utterly idiotic.

"i will not if i could."

he paused, trying to think of other things that could convince her, but he knew that she really could not. doing otherwise would mean execution. and so, he tried to calm himself, jumping to the other side and chose to comfort her this time.

"you will be okay. in truth, you really did not know anything about it in the first place." if she could not avoid it, then at the very least there would be not a lot to worry much, "you are not a traitor."

however, they should really worry—extremely. because everyone knows that when your enemy is the crown, there is almost no way to win the match.

"my father was not and look what they did."

"then you cannot go!" he exclaimed in distress and angst as he walked aimlessly near her.

"they know we are staying here, evidently by the letter." her voice began to increase in volume at the persistence of the man, "it is a form of intimidation. they will make you all traitors as they did to us, and i will not let that happen!"

"i will not let you go as well." he defeatedly respond, almost beggingly as he reached for her hands.

"you already have!" raine took her hands from his immediately, as if repulsed by his actions, "in the gardens two nights ago!"

"then i will not this time!"

benedict declared with striking determination, unwaveringly. he let breaths to come in between them before he continued in a softer manner, like an artist that does not know what to paint next.

"this urge to run away from what i love is a sort of sadism i will no longer pretend to understand."

raine wanted to slap him. to punch him. to shoot him. he dares to say such words in misleading context. she was right; he really was exhausting. she looked away, trying her earnest to not let the tears fall from her empty eyes before turning back to him.

"this has always been you, ben. you say one thing today and different the next. you never make up your mind."

"well, this is me." he offered with a gesture presenting himself, "i am here to make up my mind for the first time."

raine has heard it before, when her parents were sitting at the balcony. her father said, thank you for loving me when i still tasted of heartache and war. it was then she saw her mother crying and realised it can also be a form of happiness.

and she wanted to cry because of happiness at his reciprocation. but, she fears it was too late for that.

"is it fun for you to see me chasing and crawlimg for you? declaring my affections rejection after rejection?" she found her voice getting stronger once again, despising the way he acts as if their exchanges before can be simply shrugged by his presence now, "loving you has always been as easy as breathing, but tonight, i am gasping for air."

at her accusing tone, he could not stop himself from defending his person. unknowingly to him, his own voice were laced with malice as he retorted.

"that is because you surround yourself with fire, raine. despite the close proximity, i cannot cross." he took a step back, completely in contrast of his attacking words, "is it fun for you as well? to make a fool of me by the childish notions of your love."

raine gritted her teeth harshly at his words. she can accept his rejections, no problem. but to call her love fake? to call it childish? she stepped forwards to him, pushing his chest with her index finger, rage clear on her features against the good night.

"i am tired of explaining over and over again. just like the fire, my love for you burns!" she stopped the action, throwing her arm back harshly as she directed all her will to her voice, "it will always because it must!"

"and you think me not burned?" he stepped closer, ire and passion blending in his sharp voice, "raine, i am ablazed! its flames are scorching me day after day. you haunt me! your presence screams, even in my dreams—especially, in my dreams."

benedict looked at her piercingly in the eyes, "i dare not love you just as humans should dare not travel the stars. i am not worthy of such heavenly body."

he charmed, his voice gradually becoming smaller, trying to find the peace within him. he ran his fingers between his hair, looking away in utter shame of his words. he sighed heavily, opening his eyes to catch sight of her once again.

"i have seen you since you were an innocent young. i have been with you throughout everything." his voice small, like a child confessing his sins, "i have seen you grow into such a fine lady as you always were, even as a child."

the realisation of his words did not come to him, seemingly decided to divulge his side of ugliness and his twisted love—his deviant nature, all for her to see.

"does that not make your bones curl?! does that not disgust you enough?! for goodness' sake! the voice in my head is a monster, raine. he does not whisper. he has been screaming for me to do things—to grab you, to seize you, to put you under me. do you know how hard it is to drown him down?"

raine could do nothing but watch the man she has yearned for all her life reveal his innermost aberrant tendencies. it was a kind of undressing.

"i held lady arnold in my arms, her mouth exploring myself and all i can utter is your name, just as i have always done with other women. is that not sickening enough?"

he gazed at her beggingly, as if a cry for help—a cry for her to free him from whatever this is. he took a step back from her defeatedly, like a man afraid of touching what he loves in fear of it breaking.

"like the fire, i cannot touch you."

and at his final confession, she walked towards him, steps evident with striking determination and eyes filled with passion.

"then let me."

she took a hold of his collar and pulled him to her, their lips connecting desperately and mouth starving for each other. maybe, there was nothing more to say. perhaps, she has said everything.

his hands and lips moved in reflex, deepening the kiss as he pushed her back on the wall. she grasped on the back of his head as he lifted her leg, his lips brushing her ear as he settled on her jawline. his other hand explored her harshly, his mouth dangerously grazing her purity.

they took themselves away from the wall, lips longing for the other again as he guided her slowly inside, fighting for each other's taste. playing their aggressiveness in front of the door, he wasted no time in turning the knob, pushing themselves inside.

in contrary to what edgar allan poe said, years of love were not forgotten in the hatred of a minute. it was amplified.

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw @datingbtr @peetahpahkah @omy0 @idek-what-to-put

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc, anthony bridgerton x ofc (platonic)

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

viii. eight: it was over

"save me!"

the young silva exclaimed with worry in her voice. funny, actually, how their game of house turned into an action-themed drama—much like this story.

nevertheless, gregory came running towards her as hyacinth and benedict start to seemingly attack the young girl.

"here i am, princess!" the boy exclaimed, raising his wooden sword and pointing it to the enemies.

hyacinth turned to him and raised her hands, the cloak falling from her shoulders, "i am the witch!"

raine tried her best not to laugh at the expressions of the children, utterly invested in their roles. benedict neared her, gaining gregory's attention and bolting to them to save her.

their play, however, was interrupted when major thorpe walked to them and called for the silva, "my lady."

she raised her head and turned to him. gilbert was not an emotional one, but his voice currently carried urgency. she excused herself from the children as she walked to him. the major did not say anything else and simply turned. benedict did not understand, really, why his feet felt the need to follow them.

they arrived at the back of the bridgerton's house, a man waiting who seemed to have jumped over the wall. he was covered, cloaked as if in disguise. the man turned to her with noticeable deep scratches and wounds.

"raphael?" she called with disbelief, clasping her hands together as she immediately went to hug him—lightly so as to avoid the wounds.

at the sight of her, the colonel let out a sound that could be mistake as a sob as he took the young girl's face on his palms, "raine, i am so so sorry."

she looked up at him from the hug, as if to read his eyes, and she did not need to hear whatever he was going to say to know what has happened. she shut her eyes closed and pulled away, placing her own palms to cover her face.

raphael put his hand inside his coat, getting the letter that was written by her father. he brushed her hair as he passed the paper.

with palms already a bit wet, she took the letter begrudgingly, already knowing its contents. raine opened it just as benedict neared her, placing a hand on her shoulder. his eyes were at her to maintain the privacy of the letter.

my dear daughter,

well, it is fucking unfortunate, isn't it? i apologise if the only thing that will return to you after all this time is this letter. i am sorry this is what our family has become. perhaps, i should have taken notes from edmund and had eight children as well. this way, you would not be alone right now.

tragic, really. my chest hurts like hell and my shoulder numb. your mother and brother has been calling for me. i am afraid i must answer to them. raphael will tell you everything. hopefully, i have trained him best, enough at the very least, to not die in the process. oh, i really hope he is not as stupid to die without ensuring you receive this letter. what else can i say? you already know i love you more than anything. make a concerto for me too. i do not want that calmness you did for your mother, or that hopefulness for your brother. i want mine to sound cruel and pure of malice. i want mine to sound like a declaration of war—a symbol of spite even in my grave.

know that you can do this. this is not the end but its beginning.

káne ton thánato perífano na mas párei.

your handsome father,

armand silva

raine shut her eyes closed once again, hugging the letter on her chest as her lips whimpered, "please, no..."

her legs gave out in hopelessness as benedict's touch tightened to her at once, holding her close to him as he keep her up. maybe home is nothing but two arms holding you tight when you are at your worst.

"let us go inside. the children must not see this." the bridgerton said, guiding her towards the home as the two men followed.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

they stepped in through the back door, passing the drawing room in the process. anthony and kate stopped their conversation just as violet raised her head from her tea, standing up at once at the state of the four.

"loraine? what is happening?" she questioned in concern, not sure to walk to her or not as she was being assisted by her son.

anthony and kate stood as well in alarm. the viscount caught sight of raphael and understood what this could be about. he dodged the furnitures in the way as he led them, "to my study."

everyone in the room followed suit with heavy steps as they crossed the hall. now crowding anthony's study, benedict let her sit on the couch, providing her his handkerchief as well.

raphael sat on another chair at the side while the rest remained standing in anticipation and worry. anthony sat on the edge of his table, arms crossed while lightly biting his lips.

raine let out a heavy sigh, trying her best not to let her voice break, "father has passed."

anthong uncrossed his arms, placing his right palm on his forehead, his head casted down in defeat.

"god..." violet muttered in sorrow, closing her eyes as well as kate neared the woman, both supporting each other. they were aching for the girl in front of them.

as she opened her eyes again, her gaze landed on the wounded man this time. she spoke in a solemn manner, "does the guest need to rest for the moment?"

"no, lady bridgerton. thank you," he replied, sitting up from his leaning as he interlaced his fingers in seriousness, "but i must relay the current circumstances to the lady as soon as possible."

he did not continue as if waiting for loraine's permission that it was alright to divulge such information in the presence of other people. the young silva nodded absentmindedly, staring into nothing.

raphael understood what she meant and inhaled deeply, revealing the causes of it all, "general has discovered an anomaly in the communications and reports across brigades and regiments six months ago.someone has been tampering and altering the papers, giving false reports and causing miscommunication. just before we returned here for your debut, two battalions fought each other, unaware of their british ancestry."

he turned to address the silva solely, "that is what your father has been working on, believing that we may get hints here in central london."

she thought back on the moments her father was almost not present, missing events and time with her. she even ranted about it without even knowing the gravity of her father's duties. she wanted to slap her past self.

"and we did." the colonel continued, "on the day our carriage was attacked when we were going to the ball," he paused, clicking his tongue with hate in his following words.

"i would never miss the shine of the british insignia."

raine, for the nth time of the day, shut her eyes closed at the information. realising the gravity of the situation, she could not help but mutter in pessimism just what the people in the room were thinking as well.

"fuck."

anthony, as the viscount of the house, interjected, "if that is the case, you both have to stay here."

raphael stood up, turning to the man with respect, "lord bridgerton, i appreciate the thought but we cannot. our presence here right now endangers your family already."

he was not wrong about that at all, but the other was adamant on ensuring their safety, "the family is acquainted to the queen and close to her confidant. we do not know if the queen is involved or not, but at the very least, that will offer even the slightest protection than being out at all."

"anthony..." raine called, unsure what to say next. she would like that, in all honesty, as this was the only other home she ever knew. but, she also would not like to put them all at risk.

he turned to her reassuringly, "there is nothing to worry about. people will not bat an eye in you staying here longer as you have always did, and raphael will simply not let people catch a glimpse of him." he looked at the wounded man with no offense, "which i assume must be easy for a colonel."

raine nodded at anthony's plan, accepting it as raphael conceded as well, following whatever sound decision the daughter of his superior would make.

the girl raised her eyes to the dowager in pure shame of their temporary solution, "i apologise, violet."

the matriarch neared her on the couch as she placed a hand on her back and her chin on top of the girl's head, hugging her for what little comfort she could offer.

━━━ ✦ ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

loraine was no stranger to staying up late and deep into the night. she has always loved it, and the joy that the silence would bring her was comforting.

now, although void of joy, she still looks for the same comfort under the same sky.

"do you need anything?" benedict entered the drawing room, sitting across the lady so as to not disturb her peace—if she had any left.

raine sneered weakly, "aside from my family? nothing."

"anthony told me." he began, his guilt starting to show, "i am really sorry i was not there with you at the ball."

she did not reply immediately. in fact, she did not reply at all. she was not petty. she understood that it was not an obligation for him to be there at that moment. and so, she settled with a nod for acknowledgement.

"do you want to talk about it right now?" he continued to ask, wanting whatever it is between them to disappear so that the young lady would have less on her plate.

"you do not have anything to be sorry for." she replied in a very exhausted voice, wanting everything to be just done with.

benedict chose to explain his side nonetheless, "i was with lady arnold. we—"

"i know." she interjected pointedly without intending to sound bitter.

"no. not like that." he defended with a sigh, "we met at the hawkins balloon, and she was a follower of the sciences you were enjoying."

it was lost between them—whatever they are now. they were not each other's, but they could not deny the feeling of possession.

"i met her at the ball again and mr. cooper joined us after a while. they were teaching me about their stuff... just like you have always done in the past."

she did not want to care. she should not have cared at all, yet she replied, "what about?"

he smiled at her inquiry, taking it as a sign of even her slightest regard for him, "i could not bother to listen to them."

raine did not know what to say. even in this time, he could make her feel something other than pain. however, the exhaustion is too much, pounding whatever warmness she might have felt. he was exhausting—the push and pull he was doing.

"i would like to be by myself, please."

benedict opened his mouth, likely to insist he stay, but he closed it as he casted his eyes downwards. he exhaled and nodded resignedly, pushing himself up from the chair, looking at her last before turning to leave.

"good night."

she just wants to go home, but nothing feels like home anymore. so, no later, she stood as well and made her way to the piano. in the dead of night, she was thankful for the moonlight as she sat in front of the instrument.

there is something big coming—bigger than love, bigger than loneliness.

in the midst of despair, she decided to write the piece her father wanted and she's staying up all night for it. she has thought for it to sound like mozart's lacrimosa but went against it in an instant. lacrimosa was weeping, mournful even. but her father? she was certain armand did not shed a single tear against his fate. he would have gritted his teeth and spat the blood on the fate's face.

and so, she slammed her fingers on the keys, note per note, octave per octave. while the tune was full of hurt, it was not the type that would make you curl in bed. it was the kind that would make you stand and run... faster, faster than you ever can.

for what is hurt but the prelude to rage. and once the pain goes away, the real battle starts.

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw @datingbtr @peetahpahkah @omy0