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[msjot]

What is Love?

When you feel completely vulnerable towards someone, is when you know you truly love that someone. Enough to risk them hurting you.

I had a conversation with a friend who was afraid of being in a relationship simply because of the many heartbreaking stories he’s heard from his female friends. True, he has never fallen in love, but the main reason isn’t because he’s afraid. It’s because he hasn’t found someone to fall in love with.

No matter how many times someone says they’re afraid of getting hurt, eventually they would still find someone to share their heart with.

Falling in love is a very natural and passive process. The feeling itself is so addictive that you can fall in love with the idea of falling in love. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to fall in love. The real challenge is keeping it.

Different people might explain their expressions of love in different languages. Mostly, indescribable. If you’re in your 20s, I think it’s safe to say that most have experienced this magical, indescribable euphoria of being on Cloud 9. And yet, some of these relationships fall apart within a third of the time it took to build it.

It makes people want to give up on love, and yet some hopeless romantics still believe in love.

I don’t believe that things don’t change; the only constant is change. But I do believe in loving someone (no matter how you measure it) that you would invest your life in it. A relationship is a lifelong investment, a decision, a plan, an effort, it’s yourself.

When one pillar stops holding, the tower comes crumbling.

[msjot]

You left a wound in me so deep, Even though time has passed there are some things that won't disappear. I'm reminded of all the things I allowed to be done. The choices made that I've no say. People around still judge the way I play. My mind is bored, it needs to ponder. God put an empty girl with wolves filled with hunger.

[msjot]

How I feel every morning

[msjot]

What you See is What you Get

At this stage of my life (early 20s), I've heard friends saying, "he/she has changed" more often than I can count. Most result from break-ups... Boy-girl relationships, used-to-be close friends etc. Technically, anything which involves a relationship with a human being. But at the end of it, after many bumps, everyone realizes that they're probably happier where they currently are. And that the fact is, some people never did change. We were just blinded at that moment in time... We compromised more than we should... We gave more than was needed. People don't change (a 100%). Situations happen... decisions are made by people, and those decisions, chosen at that point of time, make up a person. Don't misread me, I do believe people can improve! Mature over the years. But generally, what you see is what you get.

[msjot]

[msjot]

I'm not a pessimist, I'm a Realist.

Having expectations of someone always leads to disappoint, so just don’t place your expectations so high, right? Problem solved?

Most of the time that prolongs the problem rather than cure - a vicious cycle... It is a heart-wrenching feeling to have someone you love and have so much trust in to break that tower of hope. So much so that you probably won’t trust many people but yourself. I've experienced that too many times. Sadly, my memory’s too good for me to handle.

But I realize having these high expectations, especially of your loved one, is inevitable. We trust them enough for them not to let us down (majority of the time), but if they do sometimes, that expectation helps each side improve. And if they can’t handle it, maybe you should rethink your relationship. “If there’s a will, there’s a way.” No one should put up with something they don’t deserve.

Nonetheless, people are imperfect. Sometimes we need more than one other chance.

Don’t turn everyone away to be left with regrets, but don’t hang on to a sinking ship to miss out on something more.

[msjot]

Our Family: the Judges of our Life

They say we show our true colours in front of our family. They are the ones that are always there; through thick and thin, criticism and praise - whether to give it to you or to hear you take it. They could be your greatest dictator and biggest caregiver. And sometimes the biggest expectations are from them.

Being the youngest of the family, I've received a LOT of teasing, picking on, humiliation, insensitive comments and endless criticism - from the way I dress to the way I behave and do things. More often than not, it would lead to tears (when I was younger than 10), which would lead to more name-calling.

You could say that 'their method of allowing me to grow' (independently) made me push further from them throughout my teen years. And not being a very outwardly rebellious child, I kept the problems subtle. Their attention to me was only brought to light when I was 16/17. And that just made me angrier.

My family can be very blunt with their (unnecessary) comments. And as a young girl, I don’t remember handling that very well. It only severed whatever relationship there was between my folks and older siblings. My family’s part of the reason of who I am. Shamefully, I wasn't the most cheerful child; I was actually pretty grumpy. However, because of them, I’m one tough cookie!

[msjot]

'Jealous' isn't the word

He takes her out instead of the quiet girl that knows him better, and the quiet girl sits and wishes for better. Filled with disappointment and hope, jealousy doesn’t describe her.

She hears him talk about the girl that isn’t her; the relationship that they share. She misses those times, she wants him but doesn’t want to be the girl that he’s with. She wants to be the girl that he couldn’t see he already has. Jealousy doesn’t fill her.

She hears the comparisons and sees her flaws. She couldn’t compare herself to the other beauty, and doesn’t understand why people praise such pretentious goods. She is herself because she wants to be, not because she couldn’t be somebody else. Jealousy isn’t the word.

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Many people have the misconception that females are easily jealous. If you have the patience to want to understand us better, there’s more than the emotion of being simply petty and jealous. Deceit, lies, disrespect, sadness are the bigger picture of a woman’s anger.

[msjot]

Women aren't that complicated

Every woman likes to be swept off her feet - all the time. Despite what she says. Before the relationship and during the relationship. The chase should never end.

As little girls, we’ve been flooded with stories of fairytales: princesses adorned with love and the suitor trying his best to win her over. We may not all have grown up with the same stories, but I’m 99% sure that no single woman would turn you down if you portray the qualities of a gentlemen.

Most women want their love lives to be more or less like these fairytales. We may not be princesses, but it’s no mystery that we would like to be treated like one. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect every man to be carrying his lady’s handbag or incessantly pampering her in every way possible. We’re not crippled, we just like to be loved! All we want is to be treated and looked at as how we see you - important. And the simplest way of us being able to see that is by your actions. Which brings us back to the constant chase.

Realistically, we all can’t have fairytale beginnings and, definitely not, endings. But a girl could always dream. So it’s compensated by our partners reminding us how much we mean to them. Everyday, every week, every month! The length of the relationship shouldn’t matter. If it’s important to both of you, it shouldn’t be a chore, but a natural course of action. We, women, need to hear and see this reminder… and so do you.

A lady needs to be woo-ed.