mummabeing

[mummabeing]

Learning to Love in the Right Language

I have just read a book that I believe will honestly change my parenting forever! Usually I get a few tips from a book or blog or of course fellow Mumma's but SERIOUSLY everyone should read "The 5 Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman. Gary writes how each person, adult or child, has one primary love language out of a possible five. This is the way they feel most loved. Speaking the right love langauage to our child will fill their emotional love tank which means they will grow up feeling loved and secure. If they don't feel loved it is likely to affect their behaviour, their ability to learn, how they develop emotionally and them as adults... WOAH! In all honesty, my biggest fear as a parent is that I will screw my kids up. Writing it and reading it back it sounds silly but it's something that plays on my mind often. I really want them to be happy, healthy people who know they are loved so much by their Mumma (and obvs Daddy!). This fear prompted my motivation to read this book...

Here are the 5 Love Languages Gary talks of: quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts and acts of service. Learning our childs love language will have such a positive impact on them and really help our bond with them. To be honest, I wasn't sure I would see much of a difference for now but when I implemented some of the tips below my 3 year old actually turned to me last week and said "you really love me Mummy, don't you?" 😱😍😢 I was literally gobsmacked that after intentionally speaking her love language she articulated to me that she FELT loved. It's made me realise there is a clear difference between knowledge they are loved and them feeling it. When they FEEL it I'm sure the results are gonna be amazing.

If you wanna find out more about the 5 Love Languages check out the series of books (Amazon, Google, you know the deal). There's even one for couples too with a quiz to find out your love language, we all love a quiz right?! Takes me right back to the days of Mizz and Sugar magazines 🤣

Gary talks about speaking all 5 Love Languages of children under 5 as it may be tricky to discern their primary love language, it may change and getting a well rounded variety of love will have a really positive affect. So, if you're like me with children under 5, we have our work cut out!

Here are some handy tips on how to speak each love language in our parenting, some are from the book some are some ideas are freestylers I wanna try/am trying:

Quality Time

💚 Eye contact when chatting together makes time together special. We all love some attention, right?!

💜 Include children in chores. My little shadow loves to do EVERYTHING with me... It's a little suffocating sometimes and drives me crazy every now and then. However, even boring housework can be used for quality time if they can "help" us put the washing in the machine.

💛 Date time with Mummy or Daddy. Take it in turns to take the kiddies out on their own and have some one to one time.

💗 Make photo albums together after a holiday or a fun day out.

💙 Sit down with them while they watch tv and watch it with them, taking an interest in what they like watching and what they find funny. This is a challenge for me as I usually try and get jobs done or cook dinner when it's tv time but every few days I'm gonna try this. Having a snuggle at the same time leads us nicely onto physical touch...

🛇 Warning: "time out" causes damage to a child whose love language is QT. More info in the book 📖

Physical Touch

💚 Read stories together while they sit on our laps (also throwing quality time into the mix, BOGOF 😉)

💜 Ticking. In our house we have "The Tickle Monster" and "The Claw", they only have to be mentioned for the giggles to begin. Usually Mr Chainey's idea of fun when it's winding down for bed time 🤣

💛 Wrestling AKA Rough and Tumble in Chainey Mansion.

💗 Kisses and cuddles = classic.

💙 Stroking their back when walking past.

🛇 Warning: physical discipline is especially damaging to children who's love language is physical touch. More info in the book 📖

Words of Affirmation

💚 With young children tone and facial expressions speak louder than the content of our words. 

💜 A little note saying "I love you" or something you love about them in their lunchbox if they are old enough to read.

💛 Tell them you are proud of them and why when they achieve something or have tried hard.

💗 An encouragement jar. This is one of my fav ideas and something I wanna do when they are a little older! Have a jar filled with paper with encouraging things on for each person in the family and pull one out for each person over dinner.

💙 Write something you love about them on a post-it note and stick it on their mirror.

🛇 Warning: using harsh words and shouting pierces a hole in their emotional love tank if their love language is Words of Affirmation.

Gifts

💚 Have a collection of small inexpensive gifts (they don't even need to be new) give them one when you feel they need to receive love this way.

💜 Snack treats every now and then. We have "sweetie day" on a Saturday where Sky can chose some sweets from the shop, we usually get Sienna a flump now too 👩👶

💛 Make gifts special by choosing wrapping paper they will love: a character they like, their fav colour, a bow.

💗 Make coupons and give them to your kiddo to "cash in" when they like: quality time before bed/a shopping trip/date with Daddy to get an ice cream are a great way of tying in other love languages too.

💙 A nature treasure box. This one literally costs nothing and is one I tried out recently (pic below). Find a cute box from your house or buy one and fill it with things you find outside. This can really inspire creative play with their "treasure".

🛇 Warning: excess gifts makes them lose their value to the child and a huge amount of toys becomes a chore for them to tidy. A few special gifts spread out over time will have more meaning if this is their love language.

Acts of Service

💚 Wake up early and make a special surprise breakfast for the family.

💜 Help them practise their hobbies.

💛 When they're tired carry them up to bed.

💗 When they are at Nursery/School set up some of their toys so they are ready to play together when they get home (also quality time).

💙 Take time to fix things that belong to them if they break.

This one is about going above and beyond meeting the obvious needs all children have like making them food or washing them. Helping them every now and then with things they can do for themselves. This is one I am working on as I wanna be really careful not to have lazy children. I expect Sky to put her shoes in the basket under the stairs when we come home. Sometimes she gets engrossed in something before she remembers so every now and again I say "Sky I'm just heading to the basket to put my shoes in, I'll take yours too on my way". Her response has been to ask me if I want her to take mine on other occasions which is super cute and thoughtful!

If you have any other ideas I'd love your comments! In fact, you know me, I love any comments.

Muchos love-o, Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

Our Playdate Alone

A few weeks ago I saw a discount code for Teeny Town. Teeny Town is a fun roleplay centre in Portsmouth for kids, we love it there! My first reaction: great who shall we tell so they can come and join us?! Then I realised we hardly ever just do things me and the girls. We usually have 2 or 3 playdates a week with the friends we've made at baby massage, baby swimming or people we've known for ages that have kids a similar age. We thoroughly LOVE these and they certainly make the weeks go quicker. This time however I decided we would try a playdate alone.

And you know what? It was really fun. I got to play with the kids and follow them wherever they wanted to take me. Sure, I missed having a drink and some adult conversation a tiny bit but who are we kidding?! The coffee is cold anyway by the time we drink it after multiple toilet trips, checking the kids aren't attacking anyone and pretending to eat roleplay food for the hundreth time in 30 mins. Us Mum's have become masters at having half conversations too, right? Constant kiddie interuptions + sleep deprivation = never finishing a convo or remembering what was being said. The choice between putting your child on hold or your friend on hold whilst you give the other attention can feel like a compromise. My friends are the best and I LOVE hanging out with them, don't get me wrong. The playdates keep me slightly sane in my child centred world! Just every now and then having a playdate by ourselves means the kids get so much out of what we are doing in a unique way.

The life lessons for the girls of not interrupting, waiting patiently, playing independantly, sharing and resolving their own conflicts are great to practise at playdates with friends. Sometimes however, indulging in whatever we want to do it without feeling you're putting someone else out is also refreshing. So it's something we may try every few weeks or so. Let me know what you think in the comments. Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

Staycation Ideas

Last weekend, Jimmy and I renewed our wedding vows on our wedding anniversary. It was literally perfect, we had the best day and then went on a mini-moon to the New Forest. Get ready for it... Without children. It was bliss! In everyday life it's so easy to be distracted with kids, chores, work and all the dramas that seem to fill life. To have each others undivided attention was rare and oh so precious. I forgot what it felt like to be his sole focus; I felt totally spoilt and refreshed.

We went horse riding, did some gin tasting, ate yummy food, strolled through the forest, laughed, cried and totally reconnected. Perfection. After a couple of nights away just the two of us we came back to our beautiful, wild, loud and attention demanding girls. Jimmy had the rest of the week off and so we have just enjoyed some lovely days together. As you may remember from earlier blogs we used to go out a lot in our early parenting days in order to cope with the stress looking after miniature humans can sometimes bring. However we have worked hard at creating happy memories on a budget. So after a hefty intro, here are some memory making staycation ideas that are all about connecting as a family; without blowing the entire months budget!

1. Choose ONE day out at an exciting place.

This week we did a daytrip to Butlins. The kids flipping love it, like seriously can't get enough. Whilst sometimes we feel like we are enduring an overwhelming child party land, seeing them so happy ticks all the boxes. Sienna aged 15 months went on all the inside fairground rides. The staff assured me they would stop the ride if she cried. Cry?! She beamed and waved at everyone and anyone the whole way around and cried only when mean Mummy or Daddy went to unstrap her and carry her away 🙄

We were gonna tell the kids (obviously mainly for Sky's benefit) on the way there but the looking forward to something is a big part of the fun right?! So we told her on Tuesday so she had 2 days to look forward to our main adventure.

The reason we chose ONE day trip was partly financial but also, I reckon they will remember more of Butlins without the overshadowing of several places all within a small timeframe. If we did another full on activity the day after they would just be tired and grumpy anyway so this was a win for us this week 👌

2. Garden Party 🎉

Now the sun has FINALLY decided to grace us with it's presence we have really enjoyed using the garden. When I say garden party it was actually a simple BBQ but it seems to make the girls a lot more excited if we call it that 😂 We love to socialise and invite other people in on our plans often but we made a conscious effort to hang out just the 4 of us all week. Sky asked who was joining us and I felt it was really important for her to know we love spending time with them: just us sometimes. And you know what? Prepping the food, cooking it and eating was so much less stressful without hosting anyone else. The kids had their needs met straight away and we joked and played around the garden. I definitely still love socialising but I have realised we need to learn how to be together just us sometimes.

3. Splash park/park/cafe

We chose free activities that we haven't done for a while (no one likes splash parks in the snow eh?) so they still felt new and appealing but they were FREE. That meant there were some extra pennies for coffee and babyccinos 🙌

4. Country Park Adventures

For the price of parking (and a cheeky coffee) being outside whatever the weather is so much fun! Shelter building, nest building, camp fire building, stick collecting, stick name spelling, leaf crunching, leaf rubbing pictures, nature bucket collecting are just a few of the many possibilities. Can you tell I find the woods exciting?! 😜

5. Afternoon Tea Party

We rounded up our week with a day playing at home. By playing I mean while I sorted through the toys and reorganised things, the kids emptied boxes I'd just filled. The joys 😂😭! In the afternoon I made different sandwiches, cut off the crusts and made them into triangles - this is a great way for kids to try new flavours, they seem more open to trying things when it's a "party". Sky has either "mymite" or dairylea every.single.day but today? She has a new thing for ham with mustard mayo (for the win!). There were crisps, jelly, scones with jam and clotted cream, lemon drizzle cake and banana muffins! Such a feast and so much cheaper than eating out.

The tea party was followed by dancing to loud music in the lounge until someone got hurt and cried: standard.

So everyday life continues for us Monday: swimming lessons, nursery runs, making packed lunches, not eating ice cream everyday, playgroup attending and playdates. I love our life but I am definitely looking forward to our next staycation. Comment your staycation day ideas whilst on a budget, I'd love to hear from you. And use your ideas for our next staycation 😉 Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

Survive Mode vs Thrive Mode

Sky turned 3 and a half this week (yes I'm that crazy Mum who celebrates half birthdays too 😉)! On reflection of my three and a half year Mumma Being experience I have learned a lot. Mainly, that I knew a lot less about parenting than I thought I did pre-kids. Anyone else relate? Whilst aspects of parenting bought personal challenges for me, I felt like a good Mum most of the time. Recently though that seems to have changed...

It seems like I float between totally bossing life (for like 10 mins 🤣) to having to pull out all the stops to survive. We have our house on the market at the moment and to be honest, getting the house ready for viewings that get cancelled last minute or result in 0 offers is wearing thin. I did 5 hours of solid cleaning and tidying today whilst looking after the two girls.

I also did a few hours yesterday and thats on top of the normal everyday chores that I usually manage to stay fairly on top of. It seems like housework is always "almost done" before building up to "nowhere near done" again within a matter of minutes. More experienced Mumma's: does this get better?! 😱

It really matters to me to be a good Mum. So I aim to be the best I can: limit the amount of tv watched, do creative activities, promote independant play, promote child led play, read oodles of books, laugh and enjoy our lives, snuggle on the sofa/in bed, eat healthily, build positive relationships with family and friends to name but a few. In THRIVE mode I am so motivated with all of the above and more, in SURVIVE mode not so much. It feels unachievable to be as good as I want to be but I need to not give up. To dig deep and ask for help from "the village" when we need it is what seems to get me from SURVIVE to THRIVE. What about you? I would LOVE some other tips.

At a time in our lives where our capacity is stretched beyond what we thought was possible let alone healthy, I've been prompted to do a personal MOT (Mumma Ok Test). Ensuring I'm getting that all important "me time" to CHILL the Mumma out. We are reviewing if our current set up is still working for us or whether I'm surviving rather than thriving in this season of life. I'm craving getting a part time grown up job again... to feel good at something, bring in some dollar and give us all a lil break from each other for a few short hours... watch this space. As ever, I would LOVE to hear from you. Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

Mum Guilt

We've all felt "Mum Guilt", right?! There is no perfect way to parent. So while we're busting a gut doing the best we can, the times we know we aren't doing things as picture perfectly as we imagined we could; it soon kicks in. I've been especially feeling it this week. We made a decision as a family that I would be at home with the kids for as long as possible. Now, I really don't have a blanket opinion that "all Mums should stay at home" or "Mum's should work part time" or "Both parents should work full time to provide the best for their kids". It's such a unique decision that I have become unjudgemental about. Kids are versatile and there's pros and cons for both. What does make me sad is that some Mum's don't have the option to stay home when they want to, equally, some Mum's don't have the option to return to work because their job pre-kids doesn't work with parent life and then it's hard to get your foot in the door doing something new. Especially when the potential employer knows you may need days off when your kid is ill or you can't find childcare cos the childminder is ill, also you may get pregnant again and need a whole load of time off. I digress...

You see I'm not lazy, I've worked since I was 13, I enjoy working with others, stretching myself and bringing in those all essential pennies. Staying at home has so many postives which I'm so grateful for. The reality is that sometimes being budget bound to the penny can be super stressful. We regimentally budget and if something unexpected comes up it is problem. The car broke at the beginning of this month so instead of the usual "we're-kinda-almost-at-pay-day-can-we-make-it-panic?!" it's been "we're-nowhere-near-pay-day-what-are-we-gonna-do?!". The stress sometimes feels too much and then we regroup and remember why we're doing this, rebudget to try and catch up and wisely see if we need to change plans.

Coffee mum-dates, soft play dates and farm trips are rationed particularly at the moment and I've been trying out free play groups. I was giving myself a hard time for that this week, as I usually like to do one paid activity a week. I then realised that my kids getting to do this stuff less often will help them to appreciate it more. Maybe I'll take more photos we can all treasure and spend less time distracted on my phone, I'll join in and bond with my kids; knowing the cost although financially may not be high, is high to us in this season. A coffee date in Starbucks with Jimmy has become a treat in the same way a 3 course meal used to be.

I'm looking at some possible work options for in the next few months, which I'm sure will bring some whole new Mum Guilt feelings. The thing is, I'm doing my best with what we have, it may not always feel perfect. But, it's enough. Sometimes it's more than enough. I'm trying to find ways to be kind to myself and have those essential me-time treats without spending the pennies. Please leave me some comments with your ideas! Life is better shared. And hey, spring/summer please arrive soon so splashpark and park fun can be had! Love, Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

Mothers Day Won't Always Be Like This

Happy Mothers Day to every beautiful Mumma Being! A lot of us will have babies too small to articulate their love and gratitide for us. I really hope you have people around you to help teach your kids how to honour and thank you: not only today, but everyday. For some I know this day can be painful for many reasons. If that is you I hope you find the strength to handle today and know you are loved and valuable.

My gorgeous first-born cutie beauty drew this family portrait at Nursery last week:

As soon as I saw it I welled up. Right in the middle and the biggest feature of her amazing picture was Mummy. And that's when I realised at this current time and for a few short years I am the centre of her world. What a privilege and responsibility. Having seen how quickly the last 3 and a half years has gone I can imagine in a blink of an eye a school teacher or an older friend will become a bigger role model. Although I will still be important to her it's only healthy that she gains some independence from me as she becomes older; preparing her for adult life. I haven't done that journey yet so I imagine it will be tough. While my influence is stronger than it potentially ever will be again, I'm making conscious decisions to be intential in my parenting. Asking myself what builds her resilience, confidence and self esteem. I don't want to push my own agendas on her but show her how to discover how own passions and vision for her life. Mission: accepted.

For now, I'm breathing in as many moments of cuddles and giggles as I can. I'm looking that little bit longer at her small size 8 glittery wellies. She will grow up and our relationship will develop and change over time. I hope we ride the waves of life together well, stay calm and always talk it out. I hope I remember to be humble and apologise when I mess up. To teach her how valuable she is and not to settle for second best. To be the best she can be, loving others and the planet as she goes. What do you want to teach your kids? Leave me some comments- I'd love to hear from you. Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

My High Needs Child

My darling first born completely changed my life and me as a person when she invaded planet Earth October 2014. She was adorable but oh-so-very-extremely-completely needy. Day AND night. All babies are entirely dependant on us at the start, but now I am a Mumma to more than one child, I feel I can safely say some children require a lot more attention and support than others. I never thought I would blog about this subject as I want to ensure I never embarrass my kids; I want them to read these snippets of our journey in the years to come and feel happy with what was said. I also don't want to use this blog to give me an "emotional processing fix" at the cost of my kids dignity. So I've considered it very carefully... The reason I am choosing to write about it now is for a few reasons:

♡ Firstly, it makes my beautiful girl who she is. She has excelled with the attention, input and love she has often demanded and been given. Other people often tell me how thoughtful, inclusive, compassionate and kind she is. It's so lovely and humbling to hear, how amazing and encouraged would us Mumma's feel if we made a real effort to encourage each other?!

♡ Secondly, what prompted me to write this is that things have recently turned a corner (more to follow!) and I have learnt a lot through this journey.

♡ Thirdly, it spreads the word that some children have greater needs than others and sometimes it's ok to be honest about the strain that comes with that. Reaching out for love and support from our family and friends is crucial. It takes a village to raise a child, after all.

What did my life look like with a high needs baby?

Sky had a dairy intolerance that took 3+ months to be diagnosed so the poor bubs was in a lot of discomfort before going on to specialist milk as a baby. She didn't sleep well at night or nap well in the day, despite needing the rest. Also, if we stayed in the house for long I felt like I was going insane. She was unsettled, almost too inquisitive for the 4 walls that contained her curiousity. So we went out. A lot. Even doing that didn't make it easy, just slightly more bearable. I had to learn to tune in to her little prompts for tiredness, hunger or boredom. I had to know when she was genuinely hungry and when she was bored and needed distracting. It felt like she asked for food constantly or attempted to steal food from others around her. If there was food in sight it would be all she would focus on, buffet tables were my enemy because I knew the battle that would follow (even if she was full up). She has been my shadow since the day she could crawl, wanting to be by my side helping with EVERYTHING I was doing. Sometimes that felt overwhelming and frustrating. I knew I needed a greater capacity of patience and wisdom to know how to meet her needs alongside teaching her independance and resilience. Not an easy task eh?!

Whilst there were MANY days I felt like I failed, there were also MANY days where I felt like I was doing a good job. This was probably due to lovely family and friends cheering me on. Literally thank you so much to my tribe! Sky has always been like a little sponge taking in every piece of knowledge and information given to her. It astounds me everyday the comments she not only makes but understands, her compassion and love for others and the range of her vocabulary.

Since the new year my little shadow has started playing by herself more, going upstairs to get something alone, using the toilet without company and even going off and making friends at the park and soft play. She is beginning to go to sleep independently, sleep through the night and wake up at an almost reasonable hour. I never saw the day coming where I could have a shower alone or pop to the other room without a companion. I'm not gonna lie it makes my heart pang a little when she needs me a little less than she did just a day before. Along with slight sadness comes a relief that life is getting that little bit easier and I have a little more space. I was beginning to worry she wouldn't have the confidence needed for school in September 2019 but I believe with an extra year she will be more than ready (I'm just not sure I will be 😭😂).

To all the Mumma's out there with a high needs child: there is an end in sight. We feel the strain but will see the extra reward. It's not possible to know if that easing is days/weeks/months/years away, but it does get easier. It's so tempting to compare our child to another child or our parenting to another parent; wondering why our child is different and why we aren't doing enough to have an independent child. Really we know you never know what personality type our babies are gonna be and there is often no reason other than they are unique. "This too shall pass" is a phrase that has stayed with me since I first became a Mumma. These seasons are tough and intense but they really are so short. I know I will miss my shadow when I look around and she's all grown up doing her own thing. Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

My Break With My Mini-Me

A while ago I heard about a parenting style called "gentle parenting". It appealed to me massively; not trying to control my children for control sake but gently guide them through life with gentle explanations and patience. I took so much away from what I learnt, there were a few things I disagreed with so I am not a convert to the "gentle parenting" way through and through. Perhaps we'll chat about that another time. One thing I did LOVE was an idea called love-bombing. In the context of parenting this is setting aside a set amount of time to love the child, spend quality time together away from the normality of life and (with as little boundaries as possible) let them call the shots. This certainly doesn't mean to remove boundaries from normal life just try to have as few as possible for a small amount of time.

With Sienna turning 1 a couple of weeks ago, I knew a lot of attention was going to be on her. Sky (age 3) has transitioned into big-sisterhood (almost) perfectly. She loves her baby sister so much she almost squishes her sometimes. She shares, she is patient, she is affectionate and she gently explains life through her eyes to reassure her sometimes screaming younger sibling. Seeing my girls together warms my heart; cheesy right?! I wanted to treat Sky to some quality time and love bombing as a "you are an awesome big sister" and "here, you have some attention too" treat.

She's 3 so I'll be honest, I came up with the general plans based on what I knew she'd like but within that gave her as much freedom as possible. We went to Pizza Hut for dinner... hello Ice Cream Factory! Then we stayed in a local Travelodge for the night. It was super cheap as there was a half price offer so it cost just £14.50 for both of us for the night. Plus there was a Starbucks next door so we had pastries for breakfast, yum. My little girl who fills my heart with a ridiculous amount of love was so excited by the whole thing. She smiled and giggled and wanted so many cuddles. We usually squeeze her games or workbooks on numbers and letters into Sienna's short naptimes. Having so much time to enjoy these things for long periods of time was lovely. She was refreshed, I was refreshed and our relationship was refreshed. So often I forget she is only 3. She had 60 words aged 13 months and was using short sentences soon after. She's been using connectives like "however", "even so" and "because" for a year. She was potty trained day and night by 22 months. She can articulate how she feels and why... to be honest she's taken me by surprise with every milestone. And because of this I sometimes expect her to be 5 or 6. Guilty.

Our trip away made her seem small again, no pressure for her to "quickly put your coat on because we're late", she could just be. Age 3. I'm really trying to be more patient with her and remember her age.

Here's some photos of our time last weekend: 

Jimmy and I are making it our mission to ensure both Sky and Sienna get individual time with us each as they grow bigger. I want them to know their identity and value as individuals as well as have the perks that come with being in a tribe. I'd love to hear your love-bombing ideas! Much love, Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

Sharks and Plastic Polution.

Wanna know a funny fact about me? My favourite animal is SHARKS. I am a lifelong fan, well since the age of 2. I was in a nativity age 3 or 4 and cast as the classic angel *insert yawn here*. I decided I wanted to be a shark: standard. After only going on stage for rehearsals when the angels AND the shark were called up, the Sunday school teacher explained to me on the actual day I'd have to go up when they said "angels". Fear not, I had a plan. When the angels went up I too went. However I stood there with a hand vertically on top of my head: fin style. An old lady behind my sniggering parents said "oh look at Hannah praising the Lord!". No, no. I was being a shark.

In my continued love and fascination for all sea creatures, I watched Blue Planet II over Christmas time and was really inspired to make lots of small changes over some horrifying facts about plastic polution in our oceans:

- In some parts of the ocean there are 1 million pieces of plastic per square mile! Some of these are being thrown in the sea or left on beaches but MOST of them come from our homes. The plastic we put in our bins!

- If things carry on how they are by 2020 there will be more plastic in our oceans than fish!

So my New Years Resolution is to reduce my plastic waste, raise awareness and learn new tips on loving our planet better.

Here goes that journey so far...

How to reduce plastic waste Mumma Being style:

1. Nappies.

I always thought of reusables as smelly, gross, making more work for ourselves in the extra washing/drying and a bit hippy-ish if I'm honest. This was before I was a Mumma: I'm a lot less judgemental now! Then I heard a crazy fact from a friend... if Henry 8th was put in disposables they would still be in landfill now... they take forever to degrade! So I went to a Nappy Network meet up last week and am borrowing some nappies to try so I know which ones work best for us. They are initially pricey but I'm going to get some second hand. Every reuseable we use is one less in landfill is my mindset!

2. Shampoo, conditioner and bubble bath

Pretty much all of my toiletries are in plastic bottles. When I'm done? They go in the bin. I never even considered what I was doing before now. I'm changing as many products as I can to plastic free alternatives. I have just fallen in love with Lush shampoo and conditioner bars. They make my hair lovely and silky, smell great and I can even go a little longer between washes: win win for Mum life right?! They are £6.50 each but last 80 washes so econically better too. With products I can't find suitable alternatives for, I have just discovered big Sainsbury stores have plastic recycling bins! Next to the glass recycling bins. Here's a picture I took of the bin which helpfully says what can/can't be recycled:

3. Eco Egg

I ordered an Eco Egg a couple of weeks ago to replace using liquid detergent and honestly, I am impressed. It's better for the planet, cheaper and kinder to skin! So good if for kids with eczema or sensitive skin.

"Our 720 wash Laundry Egg lasts for 720 washes; that’s 3 year’s worth of laundry for the average family – imagine the money you’ll save not having to buy detergent for the next 3 years!  Each load works out to be just under 3 pence per wash. Supported by Allergy UK and the National Eczema Society, the Laundry Egg is dermatologically tested and perfect for even the most sensitive skin."

Here's the link: https://www.ecoegg.com/product/laundry-egg/

4. Drinks

We love coffee in our house and occasionally get a cheeky Starbucks in a takeaway cup... we purchased the reusable cup for just £1 and each time you get your coffee in there you get 25p off. Cheaper and saving the planet!

Second to coffee, we love straws - they make any drink fun... we now have reuseable ones that are a cute pattern too.

A reuseable alluminium water bottle is on my Amazon Wishlist! A lot of these changes have a higher cost to begin with; although they work out cheaper in the long run. There are things I plan to change throughout the year that my purse won't let me do as quick as I'd like!

5. Sandwich bags

I was a sucker for Ikea freezer/sandwich bags for packed lunches and snacks but I have just purchased these to replace them and clingfilm:

6. Bamboo Toothbrushes

Another change I want to make is to go from a plastic toothbrush to a bamboo one.

There are so many other things from reusable shopping bags to paper cotton buds to metal razors - BUT this blog would be way too long for me to even proof read let alone for you to read 😜 would love to hear your favourite plastic free ways in the comments!

My lovely friend Sarah is a fellow blogger and she lived plastic free for a whole month last November and has massively reduced her general plastic usage! Check out her blog here for a nose and for some great tips: http://pastthepromenade.blogspot.co.uk/2017/11/sad-about-blue-planet.html?m=1

Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

18 Winter Activities for the "Done With Winter" Mumma's!

Here comes a little more honesty from me... I guess the reason it took a year from feeling inspired to blog to actually doing it was building the guts to be authentic and vulnerable. I wanted to give you a snapshot into the mind and life of Hannah: the highs and lows, my ideas and begging for your ideas, my triumphs and trials. Here goes:

Some days I feel like super Mum. Some days I feel like a failure as a human looking after myself, let alone caring for 2 small humans. Please tell me you can relate?! Over the last 2 weeks I've had cluster headaches, felt totally exhausted and have been feeling pretty nauseous. I'm 100% sure I am NOT pregnant but it feels like I am! I'm getting fed up of feeling under the weather and fed up with the actual weather (I'm sure the two are linked!). Winter is fun when it first arrives, plus it's the build up to Christmas... fun fun fun! But after Christmas? I'm done with it. I want it to be warm enough to not turn into an ice sculpture after standing in the park for 8 minutes. I'm a "dress for the weather and get out Mum" but with a frustrated baby who wants to walk and can't yet, plus feeling poop, mixed in with a kazillion days of rain: the motivation has not been there. So here prompted my list of winter activity ideas to get me through the next 2 months. I hope they are helpful to you if you are feeling even a little fed up of the loooonng winter. Please please please comment and add your ideas!

1. Soft Play

Whoever invented this: thank you! The kids get to run around like crazy, sometimes I get to sip a hot drink and it's a workout for me too! Who needs the gym when you're a Mum, right?! We made the decision to be a one income family while the kids are small. Do I miss being able to afford coffee and cake out and clothes shopping? Yep! But I know one day I will miss this precious season of the kiddies being so young. I choose 1 thing a week we pay for activity/group wise (on top of swimming lessons) so once this is done the rest have to be free...

2. Library

Our local library is pretty good! They run Rhyme Time singing groups and story groups, there's colouring and books to look at and take home. The other bonus is we don't get charged if the kids books get returned a few days late... life is busy and sometimes I may forget!

3. A Movie Afternoon

I really try and limit screen time: the kids don't have tablets and won't for a long time. TV we limit to a chill out half an hour in the day and while I'm cooking dinner (although my shadows usually choose to "help me"). 3 year old Sky also watches 15 mins at each nap time for baby Sienna while I settle her as it stops her coming in shouting about some non urgent matters just as the bubs has dozed off 😱 so movie afternoons are special and sometimes very needed if we're all tired and grumpy... popcorn (or dry cereal), blankets, all the snuggles. Bliss. 

4. Playdough

We got so much for Sky's 2nd birthday I'm sure it's gonna last us forever. A definite favourite in our house.

5. Crafts

Card making, colouring sheets, gluing and sticking, card cutting, cutting trail cards, spaghetti paintings... I feel the pressure is off knowing Nursery provide a lot of these type of activities for Sky. However, being indoors more this time of year I do a couple of these a week too.

6. Woodland Welly Walk

Not for the faint hearted: waterproof puddle suits, wellies, sling for baby and venturing to the woods (if it's not tipping it down).

7. Playdate

Adult company and different toys for the kiddies giving them an opportunity to learn to share and take turns: this ones a winner. Let's just all tour each others houses and drink tea for 2 months, yeah?!

8. Baking

From biscuit decorating to cake making: it's fun and oh so rewarding when we get to stuff our faces in home-baked goodies. Here's my fav flapjacks recipe:

 https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1148640/yummy-golden-syrup-flapjacks

9. Gloop/messy play

Cornflour, water and a bit of food colouring if you like. Simple and fun for us to play with too! (Don't judge me ✌)

10. Sensory Play

With the dark afternoons it's a good opportunity to get out the light up toys and glowsticks.

11. Games Marathon

Orchard toys do some great games for age 2 years and over: a popular one for when Baby S is napping (her idea of playing is different from Sky's 😂).

12. Workbooks

The Works do some great workbooks on writing, numbers, counting and letters that are just £1 each! Great for age 3+ they have stickers for each page too so they get a sense of achievement. This is a very adult led activity so one for when there's time to get stuck into it together.

13. Transport Trips

Buses, boats, trains. Handy while the kids go free!

14. Build a Tent/Fort

Blankets and cushions galore. Even raid the fancy dress and enjoy hours of roleplay fun! Check out my tent/teepee play ideas blog here: http://mummabeing.com/post/167951297406/10-teepee-tent-play-ideas-i-have-noticed-that-my

15. Toy Exchange

Swap some toys with friends for a couple of weeks (ones you aren't THAT attached to incase they get broken).

16. Puzzle Collage

Challenge: make lots of puzzles on the table and take a picture of how many you have managed to make.

17. House Challenge

Using a shoebox/cardboard box, design a miniature house and make furniture/people out of playdough or use small world toys like Happy Land.

18. Stay and Play Groups

Get out and meet other Mums. There are often free or cheap groups around too!

Please leave me some inspiration, I love your comments! Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

Build a Home. Not a Museum.

Welcome to my first blog of 2018! I know, I know, it's the 9th* January already and I don't even feel slightly bad for having a 3 week break. Quality time is what Christmas/New Year is all about right?! This subject has been on my mind a while so hear comes my brain vom (ok, that sounded less gross in my head)!

When Sky was a baby, anytime she showed interest in something, I began a pursuit of getting that very thing for her at home. Sensory toys? Check! Musical instruments? Check! A particular series of books? Check! Bing characters? Check! The list could go on. My house got more cluttered. I got more overwhelmed with the housework and to be honest I was pretty anxious in life at that time already. I couldn't cope with being at home much if it was just me and Sky so we went out. Every. Single. Day. For at least the first year of her life. When I look back at the way I lived it makes me feel kinda sad for a minute. Just a minute cos then I remember I didn't stay in that sucky place. It was my coping mechanism to be out and busy ALL the time. Now I love a chilled day at home with my babies, partly because I can see how far I've come in overcoming anxiety and depression. So the house I was filling in some kind of museum-like fashion wasn't getting played with much anyway.

The more we had, the less stuff actually got played with and the more I had to sort/tidy/hide when people came over. Madness! I read a few books on minimilism last year and gave decluttering a go. The result: I am so much less stressed, it takes a lot less time to tidy and clean which means more time for playing with the kids and building memories! What we want these precious short years to be.

You see, if my kids love farm animals we can go to the farm. If my kids love fish, we can go to the aquarium. If my kids love swings, we can go to the park. I don't need to break the bank buying all that stuff which clutters my home and makes this Mumma Being stressed when we can go out and enjoy those things. When they get bored of an item I don't need to sell or rehome the items to make more room in my museum, ahem, home! They were never taking up lodgings in the first place. We just visit different places/try new groups for a few months. My dream is to own just a few boxes of toys which are played with and enjoyed everyday; enabling my kids to develop the creativity I worry may be extinguished from the generation of "have all the toys/technology possible".

I hope you find this blog liberating: post Christmas I'm desperate to have another declutter! Clear house, clear brain. I'd love to hear your views and if you like what you see a like/share/comment would be grand. Love, Hannah .x.

*13th by the time I finished 😂

[mummabeing]

Filling Your Mumma Love Tank

Today I sucked at being a Mum. I got stressed too easily and I prioritised cleaning and chores over quality time. Did I really suck? Probably not. Am I being too hard on myself? Probably. Am I human? 100%.

You see I was due to have a night away on Saturday night, I had been soooo looking forward to the break after a week of sleep deprivation and not having time to even think about my own needs let alone fulfill them... You know, the usual mum life, right? 2 hours into being away I get called back because the girls are sick. By sick I mean sick in the car, sick in the bedroom, sick in the lounge. I go into full Mum autopilot of cleaning the kids and getting the inevitable mountain of washing/drying rotation started. I mourned my mini break for a while, sure, but there is nowhere I'd rather be when my kids are ill than looking after them. Vom and all.

So tonight baby S has ended up in bed with me. Something I NEVER thought I'd do. But sometimes needs must eh? I woke at 2am to a smell that could awaken a hibernating animal and I knew I had a difficult ultimatum. Convince myself it's a tiny poo-nugget causing no problems and go back to sleep. OR wake a sleeping baby by discreetly (who am I kidding?) changing her in the middle of the night with cold wet wipes. She felt pretty hot as the Calpol was wearing off so I went with the latter in a bid to also remove layers to cool bubs off. I got everything ready: preparation is key for such a mission; only to discover a poonami. Oh good, said no Mum EVER. Within 15 seconds she went from being out for the count to waving and beaming profusely at me. She found her hands delightful to create shapes and shadows with in the light of my mobile in the dark room. The type of awakeness none of us need at 2am!

After removing the yucky clothes she still felt hot so I decided to do some skin to skin to see if I could help her regulate her temperature. Guess what... it worked! How awesomely are we created?! While snuggling my beautiful baby girl who turns 1 in just a few short weeks I took in every detail. Her rapid heartbeat, the way her eyes would close and then snap open to check I was still there, the softness of her skin, the dinkiness of her limbs. My Mumma love tank was filling as she received the love, reassurance and care my poorly bubs needed.

While putting toddler S to bed earlier she called to me "night Mummy, I love you so much", the "so much" being a new and totally voluntary addition. So in what was a pretty sucky weekend I'm choosing to focus on the things that warm my heart, the things that make this ridiculously hard "job" easier and more rewarding. Look for the things that fill your love tank this week Mumma's. Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

Wellness Part 4 of 4 ♡

So here marks the fourth and final part of the wellness blog series! Although, I have a feeling wellness will be a running thread through my blogs. Being kind to myself and making time for me in the hectic Mumma Being life is how I survive and on some days, possibly get close to even thrive.

This one might seem pretty trivial or irrelevant but hopefully even if it's not your jam, you can apply the principle to something that is your treat choice. Mine is.... *insert drum roll*... nails! For me, pregnancy teased me with thicker, stronger and longer nails. It made me feel feminine; a miracle in the realm of hippo resembling, bump growing pregnancy! Post pregnancy: my sucky, flimsy, break-ALL-the-time nails returned...

I found an amazing beauty therapist who works in her home and does incredible gel polish for just a tenner! It's my once a month treat. She has so much choice and I find picking a colour is a creative way for me to express myself. That's right, a little hint of Hannah in all the mumsy mum-buns and yoga pants! Ahhhhh.

I started taking a vitamin for skin, hair and nails 3 weeks ago. To be honest I've always thought vitmains were a bit of a con... you could never really measure the difference but you know what?! I really can. They are getting so much stronger, thicker and longer - like pregnancy but less hippo-ness. On top of the vitamin supplement I pop some Sally Hanson cuticle oil on my cuticles each day (...that I remember 😂).

Whether it's nails or make up or a hobby I hope you find a "pick me up" to treat yourself with. To feel like the beautiful person & Mumma you are and to bring out your creativity. Love, Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

My Life Is The Truman Show.

Have you ever seen a movie and either thought at the time or reminisced at a later point that your life feels like that movie?! Recently I get to Sunday, the end of our weekend routine, and head into our weekday routine and I literally feel like my life is The Truman Show (or Groundhog day) minus the paranoia that everyone in my life is just acting. Sometimes life feels mundane: Nursery days for toddler, swimming lessons for baby, swimming lessons for toddler... I even wash the bedding and towels each Monday and clean the bathroom each Wednesday. I enjoy my life and these things aren't bad but sometimes I do feel like I'm going crazy with all the sameness! When I feel this way I KNOW I need to schedule in some "me time" before things get ugly; something to mix up the mundane, something to look forward to.

Making time for ourselves is sooooo important! 99% of our Mum life is putting everyone else's needs above our own. I believe every once in a while putting in place whatever we can to unwind, relax and get refreshed is vital to surviving motherhood! A new hairstyle, grabbing a glass of vino with a gal pal, a cinema trip or date night, you name it if it involves 0 children and some grown up company... I am in!

I may have found my new favourite "me time" pastime. Being a massive advocate of supporting local businesses wherever possible I am so excited to tell any local Hampshire Mums about THE BEST massage I have ever ever had. A lovely lady called Julie messaged me to offer a complimentary massage... who would say no, right?! Julie is qualified in sports massage and whilst on maternity leave has set up the sweetest massage business idea. Since having kids I seem to have constant aches and pains in my back and especially my shoulders from juggling a baby, a toddler, shopping bags, house keys... You know, everything but the kitchen sink! Not only was it so relaxing during the massage but I literally feel like a weight has been lifted the last 24 hours. Julie didn't go through the motions of a routine but I felt she really adapted the massage to where my muscles needed the work. She checked twice about the pressure which I really appreciated as sometimes when getting a massage I say it's fine and then totally regret not speaking up, British or what?! She was so lovely, professional and really knows her stuff. She even has some great offers on at the moment!

I will post the photo of all the info below so be sure to check it out, there is also a facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393594677740568/

Enjoy some "me time" this week. Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

*PRODUCT OF THE WEEK* My lips have been sooo dry with the colder climate so this lip scrub has been a life saver! It tastes yummy and lasts so long. They have loads of flavours with plenty of testers so smell away until you decide! LUSH £5.95

[mummabeing]

It's Not Ok Not To Be Ok.

I love a bit of Jessie J; heard her song "Who You Are" which includes those oh so catchy lyrics "it's ok not to be ok"? Whilst I agree we shouldn't have to fake being ok when we are not, I am totally gutted that so often us human beings think we have to put up with not being ok. It's not ok not to be ok! This has been part of my very real and vulnerable journey over the last couple of years...

At the beginning of 2016 having battled with my mental health for many years, my resilience to life had disappeared. Getting up and dressed in the morning felt like the equivalent to climbing a huge mountain. I felt numb, empty, depressed, anxious and overwhelmed. I was having regular panic attacks and suicidal thoughts were going through my head often. On paper I had everything to live for: I was married to the man I loved with my whole heart, I had the most beautiful 15 month old baby, some incredible friends, a supportive family, we had a mortgage and a car.

But I honestly believed planet Earth was better off without me: that my husband deserved someone better, that my baby would be screwed up if I bought her up while battling every part of every day. After weeks of sobbing about getting up, going to a job I felt useless at and leaving my baby who I so desperately wanted to be with everyday, I knew I needed help. My husband took me to see the doctor at the walk in clinic. I have never been so scared but desperate in my whole life. The doctor could not have been nicer. She put me on a low dose of antidepressants and gave me the information to refer myself for therapy. It's a very long story so I will quickly outline the next few months... my dose was put up 3 times to the full amount possible for the medication I was on, I was diagnosed with PTSD and I went to 2 group therapy courses to help manage my symptoms, I was signed off work for a few weeks. My husband got promotion at work which meant I could leave my job and over months I began to cope with life again.

The third and final part of my therapy, Cognitive behavioural therapy, was put on hold as I was 30+ weeks pregnant with gorgeous girl number 2 and I was advised to refer myself again once I had the baby and felt ready to face the final part. In the months after having my second beautiful baby girl in February I felt so much better, the doctor was confident my medication could be reduced slowly and by the end of June this year I was off my meds.

Over the last 6 months I realised although I was SO much better I was still not ok so referred myself for the Cognative Behaviour Therapy which I started this morning. There is a better quality of life than struggling; we are worth more. YOU are worth more. My motivation for getting help was so I wouldn't be such a burden to my husband and kids. But you know what?! We are worth being ok for ourselves!

If you are a bit stressed out with the usual Mum duties I would recommend taking a Vitamin B and Cod Liver Oil supplement as research shows these help with our mental health. If you are more than "just a bit stressed" please, please get help! You are worth it. If the first doctor you speak to is crap, see another one. Don't give up until you get the help you need. My only regret is that I waited so long.

Please share this message, no one should struggle to simply be. Love Hannah .x.

[mummabeing]

10 Teepee & Tent Play Ideas

I have noticed that my 3 year old plays with toys very little. She is far too busy being Mummy's shadow and wanting to "help" with jobs/housework. If the superglue between us temperarily weakens she chooses books or drawing over toys ANY day of the week. A few weeks ago I got a Mum-revelation that if I want her to play with toys and develop her creative play then I would need to display the toys to make it appealing... she just isn't the type to rummage and choose things for herself yet. 

She got a playtent for her 2nd birthday and it's not something I keep out all the time, I'm a minimalist Mumma so like things fairly decluttered. It gets a lot more use and enjoyment if it's out for a few days at a time. To keep things fresh I have set up some tent activities for her which I hope you find useful for some teepee or tent fun!!

1. Book Corner

- think scatter cushions, blankets, books and *heart eyes overload*. This is probably my favourite tent/teepee look; a cosy little place to snuggle in or watch little people making up cute stories as they "read".

2. Sensory Tent

- get creative with this one: flashing lights, foil blanket, catching scarves, instruments, feathers, glow sticks... the sky is the limit!!

3. Ball pool

- chuck in a couple of hundred ball pool balls for a cave of colourful fun.

4. Hospital

- set up some dolls in cots, bouncer chairs and/or cushions in the tent along with doctor role play equipment and watch or help the little ones make the babies better. A doctor coat if you have one is a super cute addition!

5. Vets

- same as above but with all those cuddly toys that are usually SO in the way 😂

6. Musical Mayhem

- chuck some instruments in the tent and find yourself some ear plugs!

7. Duplo/Lego Haven

- ever stood on Lego barefoot?! Ow-to-the-ouch! Set up the weapons in the tent or tee pee and hope it stays in there!

8. Goal!

- use a soft foam ball and use as a goal (maybe best with younger kids who kick so hard things get smashed!), great for gross motor skills.

9. Teddy Bears Picnic

- lay out a blanket and some teddies and enjoy lunch indoor picnic styley!

10. Sleepover!

Not for the faint hearted so I saved it til last! I plan on doing this when my girls are older. Either put their tent in their room and pop their mattress and bedding in or do the same but in the lounge and have a family camping extravaganza (kids in the tent).

The list could go on and on, let me know what ideas you have Mumma's: leave a comment and don't forget a like and share is always appreciated. Life is better shared. Love Hannah .x.